So this is my latest effort, my last "pole trick" if you will![]()
It is out in UMM (Urban Male Mag) on the shelves now.
I dedicate it to you ladies (and lads), thank you for your inspiration and never ending support *group hug*
Love k xo
STRIPPER FAQ’S
I have worked the pole in several different countries as an exotic dancer and as a result have met many men from all walks of life. I have entertained poor students, loud blue collar workers, and reserved white collar gentlemen. I have introduced myself to office chaps on their way home from work, naïve tourists as well as the know-it-all locals. Strangely enough however all these men seem compelled to ask me the same questions.
Like any good dancer, what I say to them and what I say to my co-workers in the change room are often two different things. Now, I can’t show you what goes on in the girls’ room (a little too racy for this magazine). But I can let you in on a few secrets to help you maintain your integrity next time you hit the club.
Question - What is such a pretty girl doing in a club like this?
Answer – I’m here to entertain you honey.
The Real Answer - Where else would I be? Did you expect to come in and see ugly girls? Besides it’s amazing what dark lights, big shoes and some make up can do for a girl; trust me, I don’t look this hot in the morning!
Q - Can we just chat?
A – Of course! There’s a great seat up in the V.I.P…
R.A - The clock’s ticking buddy, unless this chat is going to be in the back room don’t get too deep. In the real world “just chatting” is dancer overtime. No one likes to do overtime for free.
Q - Are they real?
A – Yes, they’re real.
R.A - Real expensive!
Q - Can I touch?
A – Sure you can, just not the important parts (note: all of me is important).
R.A - Can I slap you? If I want you to touch I’ll let you know. Until then don’t ask, don’t try and don’t move! If you are still driven to ask this question, at least wait till after the first dance.
Q - What’s your real name?
A – Oh, I normally don’t give out my real name but it’s -insert other fake name here-
R.A - Don’t you think I would have told you if I wanted you to know? We have stage names for many different reasons; don’t question it, just go with it.
Q - Can I have your number? Can I take you out?
A – I would love to sweetie but I don’t think my girlfriend would appreciate it.
R.A - If you are going to attempt this one, at least woo me a little first or I am going to think you ask every dancer that sits on your lap. Come in a few times before popping the question. I need to know you want my brains just as much as my bod.
Q - Do you have a boyfriend?
A – Life’s too short for boyfriends.
R.A - Do you have a girlfriend? Does it really matter?
Q - Can I get a freebie?
A – Walking around half naked is the freebie!
R.A - I don’t know where you think you are my dear but this is not the shopping channel. There will be no “buy one get two free” this evening. You get what you pay for; you don’t get what you don’t pay for.
Q - Can I buy you a drink?
A - Of course you can buy me a drink.
R.A - Not only is this question allowed, it is essential. Even if I say no (which is not likely) I feel acknowledged, I know you’re not cheap and I’m more inclined to stick around.
Q - What are you doing when you finish?
A – Oh you know, stuff.
R.A - I have been dancing for you and your buddies all night; I am hot, sweaty and am going home to shower. ALONE!
Kristi Lees 08/05



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I haven't actually seen it yet, still waiting for the editor to send my copy over here ...

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