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Thread: Stripper FAQ - Article

  1. #1
    Featured Member krys's Avatar
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    Stripper FAQ - Article

    So this is my latest effort, my last "pole trick" if you will

    It is out in UMM (Urban Male Mag) on the shelves now.

    I dedicate it to you ladies (and lads), thank you for your inspiration and never ending support *group hug*

    Love k xo
    STRIPPER FAQ’S





    I have worked the pole in several different countries as an exotic dancer and as a result have met many men from all walks of life. I have entertained poor students, loud blue collar workers, and reserved white collar gentlemen. I have introduced myself to office chaps on their way home from work, naïve tourists as well as the know-it-all locals. Strangely enough however all these men seem compelled to ask me the same questions.

    Like any good dancer, what I say to them and what I say to my co-workers in the change room are often two different things. Now, I can’t show you what goes on in the girls’ room (a little too racy for this magazine). But I can let you in on a few secrets to help you maintain your integrity next time you hit the club.

    Question - What is such a pretty girl doing in a club like this?

    Answer – I’m here to entertain you honey.

    The Real Answer - Where else would I be? Did you expect to come in and see ugly girls? Besides it’s amazing what dark lights, big shoes and some make up can do for a girl; trust me, I don’t look this hot in the morning!

    Q - Can we just chat?


    A – Of course! There’s a great seat up in the V.I.P…


    R.A - The clock’s ticking buddy, unless this chat is going to be in the back room don’t get too deep. In the real world “just chatting” is dancer overtime. No one likes to do overtime for free.


    Q - Are they real?


    A – Yes, they’re real.


    R.A - Real expensive!


    Q - Can I touch?


    A – Sure you can, just not the important parts (note: all of me is important).


    R.A - Can I slap you? If I want you to touch I’ll let you know. Until then don’t ask, don’t try and don’t move! If you are still driven to ask this question, at least wait till after the first dance.


    Q - What’s your real name?


    A – Oh, I normally don’t give out my real name but it’s -insert other fake name here-


    R.A - Don’t you think I would have told you if I wanted you to know? We have stage names for many different reasons; don’t question it, just go with it.


    Q - Can I have your number? Can I take you out?


    A – I would love to sweetie but I don’t think my girlfriend would appreciate it.


    R.A - If you are going to attempt this one, at least woo me a little first or I am going to think you ask every dancer that sits on your lap. Come in a few times before popping the question. I need to know you want my brains just as much as my bod.


    Q - Do you have a boyfriend?


    A – Life’s too short for boyfriends.


    R.A - Do you have a girlfriend? Does it really matter?


    Q - Can I get a freebie?


    A – Walking around half naked is the freebie!


    R.A - I don’t know where you think you are my dear but this is not the shopping channel. There will be no “buy one get two free” this evening. You get what you pay for; you don’t get what you don’t pay for.


    Q - Can I buy you a drink?


    A - Of course you can buy me a drink.


    R.A - Not only is this question allowed, it is essential. Even if I say no (which is not likely) I feel acknowledged, I know you’re not cheap and I’m more inclined to stick around.


    Q - What are you doing when you finish?


    A – Oh you know, stuff.


    R.A - I have been dancing for you and your buddies all night; I am hot, sweaty and am going home to shower. ALONE!


    Kristi Lees 08/05

  2. #2
    Featured Member hannah83's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper FAQ - Article

    I LOVE THIS!!!! Very true too about real answers and the ones we give the custys. My favorite was the one about freebies. grrr...i hate that
    There's a wild side behind every innocent face.

    End violence against women.
    I support Dottie.


  3. #3
    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: Stripper FAQ - Article

    I love it - fab, made me laugh!

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    Veteran Member Alexis81's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper FAQ - Article

    LOL... Isn't that the truth though... Men can be so dumb
    Alexis



  5. #5
    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper FAQ - Article

    This put a smile on my face. Nice article.







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper FAQ - Article

    What a double standard!

    This is proof that the women are in control at the club.

    While very humorous. It would have drove the point home if this wasn't included:
    ------------
    Q - Can I buy you a drink?


    A - Of course you can buy me a drink.


    R.A - Not only is this question allowed, it is essential. Even if I say no (which is not likely) I feel acknowledged, I know you’re not cheap and I’m more inclined to stick around.
    -------------

    I refuse to take this funny thread out of context. But that question makes the dancer who wrote this so deliciously evil.

    Basically the R.A. to the whole thing is

    Q. Can I give you money and expect nothing in return?

    A. No honey I'll give you a club regulated dance based on the amount you give me.

    R.A. Yes.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  7. #7
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper FAQ - Article

    Since when does a dance equal fucking nothing???? I get soooo sick of you guys screaming about how we don't want to provide anything for the damn money.

    W

    T

    F

    ???

    A dance is a fucking dance. It's our time, our physical activity, our bodies, our attention, etc. And we're giving it to you for your fucking money. So just STOP with the "strippers don't do anything for the money" BULLSHIT!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  8. #8
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: Stripper FAQ - Article

    You tell em Bridgette!

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    Featured Member krys's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper FAQ - Article

    I believe this is the question in question:

    Q - Can I buy you a drink?

    A - Of course you can buy me a drink.

    R.A - Not only is this question allowed, it is essential. Even if I say no (which is not likely) I feel acknowledged, I know you’re not cheap and I’m more inclined to stick around.

    At the end of the day it just means 'be polite, offer me a drink'. It is common courtesy and it makes the dancer feel a little more welcome at your table and a little more relaxed (whether or not she takes you up on the offer). This is a benefit both of you at the end of the day.

  10. #10
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper FAQ - Article

    Quote Originally Posted by krys
    I believe this is the question in question:

    Q - Can I buy you a drink?

    A - Of course you can buy me a drink.

    R.A - Not only is this question allowed, it is essential. Even if I say no (which is not likely) I feel acknowledged, I know you’re not cheap and I’m more inclined to stick around.

    At the end of the day it just means 'be polite, offer me a drink'. It is common courtesy and it makes the dancer feel a little more welcome at your table and a little more relaxed (whether or not she takes you up on the offer). This is a benefit both of you at the end of the day.

    Bridgette: First I apologize, Krys reply will make my reply make more sense

    Krys exactly. Its funny, ONLY because she spends the entire FAQ showing how fake polite she is to custies.

    But I digress. I pay whatever I have to to get a dance from some women.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  11. #11
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper FAQ - Article

    Whateva bitchboy! You can lick my boots now.


    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  12. #12
    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper FAQ - Article

    Good job Krys! I took a look at it in the drugstore today- that's bigtime! (UMM is like Canadian Maxim, btw all ). Your pic looks great.

    So, how'd you get that gig???

    Feature costumes for sale!

  13. #13
    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper FAQ - Article

    About telling them that you have a girlfriend: It's only going to intrigue them more. I almost got raped by a guy who I used that line on. I had used it a couple times before, and they'd ask something stupider like "Can she join us?"

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper FAQ - Article

    Just awesome!
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  15. #15
    Featured Member krys's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper FAQ - Article

    Quote Originally Posted by scarlett_vancouver
    Good job Krys! I took a look at it in the drugstore today- that's bigtime! (UMM is like Canadian Maxim, btw all ). Your pic looks great.

    So, how'd you get that gig???
    Thanks Scarlett I haven't actually seen it yet, still waiting for the editor to send my copy over here ...

    I write for a few mags over here (mainly health and fitness, you can see some of them on my site on the articles page) so I just took that knowledge and wrote a Stripper related article and sent a query to the ed. He liked the idea and I got the job. Easy said than done though

  16. #16
    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper FAQ - Article

    "This is proof that the women are in control at the club."

    Mastrodonicus -- and would YOU like to ponce around mostly naked in a place full of horny men who are bigger than you, and NOT be in control?

    Just sayin'.

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    Veteran Member Yea's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper FAQ - Article

    aww Krys, you make us so proud!!

    Hugz


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