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Thread: A little scared of the other girls...

  1. #1
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    Default A little scared of the other girls...

    I've been at my club for almost two months now, and it's going reasonably well, but the honeymoon phase has fallen away. I'm starting to be more perceptive of all the shady stuff at strip clubs (yeah, duh, I know), but what I am most surprised at is how dangerous some of the other girls seem. Not all, but one dancer warned me "don't trust anyone, especially the girls" (I realize the irony of her telling me so) "they can bring you out 'partying' and you'll end up unconsciously dragged off to their pimp". Yeah, I wouldn't 'party' in any case, but as much as that seemed like an exagerration, I have seen pimps in the club. And while I'm not there to make friends, just trying to be polite/ casually social has not been met well...at first so many of them seemed genuinely friendly, and still do at times, but other times I'm met with shocking hostility. Like the other day when one of the girls who I considered especially friendly (she went out of her way to find me a locker, etc) freaked out at some girl (who's new at the club, but used to dance in Toronto) for counting her $. The toronto girl agreed it was a bad idea and apologized, but the dancer continued on to say something like "I used to be one of those girls who'd pull you out back and crack your chin to take that cash...but I won't, I like you, but word to the wise, don't count your f****** money". It was a joke I'm assuming, and yet didn't seem completely exagerrated either. And another dancer who was going on about going back to school- I just asked politely what school she went to being a student myself, and she said "none of your f-ing business". I dunno. Fine, it wasn't my business, fine I won't try to chat...I just don't know what a good balance is...I think it'll be my new strategy to just avoid the changeroom as much as possible. At the same time, it hardly feels right to be excessively aloof...but then again, maybe that would be the safest bet? Just stick to my lonesone? Damn, I don't know. Any practical tips? I like working at this club, I'm just figuring out how self-reliant I really need to be...like the whole 'trust NO one' thing isn't second nature to me. What would be the most pragmatic approach to coworker relations?

    Oh, and as a sidenote, does tipping the manager when it's not common practice make it seem like I'm doing extras? Honestly? I'm not at all, and this may be paranoid-sounding, but could that be the reason for some dancer hostility? Other than that, I can't think of a single faux-pas I could be doing at work...

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    Default Re: A little scared of the other girls...

    My 2 cents is if you want to relate to someone in the club: make ITC friends with your waitresses, bouncers and such. Those are the people and while tipping well will help you.

    Honestly, girls come and go, get fired, get on drugs, do extras, and a whole mess of stuff its best to stay out of. Maybe one or 2 girls are aactually nice but ...forfeit the wanting to be friendly and just hold on to yourself. As you are there long enough and just do your thing the nice ones might come out of the closet and see that. Above all - its lonely to not even be semi-social at work but youll be making waaay more money being w/o the random drama.

    Ive worked in clubs where we could tip the manager. But damn he didnt do anything for me? So why should I tip them? Maybe to work a certain day but I just dont see tipping them beneficial.
    you live like an ivy vine
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    Default Re: A little scared of the other girls...

    I'm going through the same shit myself right now and I guess the best thing to do is keep to youself. There's people that will be nice to you one day and turn on you the next for no reason. It's also possible for the girls to dislike you for no reason. And most people will talk about you behind your back even if they pretend to like you. As for the whole tipping thing, at my club we tip the manager but if a girl tips way more than the minimum it usually means that either they are doing extras or paying for some other kind of special privilege or favor that the rest of the girls don't get.

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    Veteran Member candygrrl's Avatar
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    Default Re: A little scared of the other girls...

    yeah there's a bunch of girls in the club for me that seem that they would be really cool to hang with out of the club, but they always end up being reaaaaaaaaalllly shady. I don't care I don't need new friends, but it's either you're cool with me or you're not. Don't fake it, don't talk shit, don't pretend to be my "friend".

  5. #5
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: A little scared of the other girls...

    The girls seem to be shady and more than they were when I started all those years ago. It seems that in tough times, girls who were raised to have street smarts revert back to their roots as a survival tatic. Unfortunately, this creates a hostile and extremely unpleasant atmosphere--not just for those who work at the clubs, but for the customers as well. Some girls you can trust. You know who they are. Trust your first instinct until proven wrong. Don't be unnecessarily rude or out of line with other dancers. Even if there is a conflict, remember that the other person may have a story too...and above all, ALWAYS make your best attempt to diffuse the situation.

  6. #6
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: A little scared of the other girls...

    Ironically the one club I went into being very cold and not-friendly I had the best time at (partying with the bouncer & his friend, the bartenders liked me..) It's just like how the new kid at school is quiet for a couple days before he or she gravitates towards a group of people. And people try to feel you out.
    You take it in stride & if the club values you (cute, young & hardworking) they will go out of their way to help (sometimes you're the excuse they need to dump troublemakers or druggies..."Fresh in, old out.") It's just like prison..LOL...
    Being a dancer is such a valuable tool in learning how to read human behavior. I had a non-stripper drama queen call me out over nothing a few years back...if I had never been a stripper I would have been hurt, but instead I was like, What's her problem? The hell with her.
    You'll learn what's important and what's not.

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    Default Re: A little scared of the other girls...

    I don't get involved with people at work. Not saying everyone is drama, however in my experience it has been. I don't trust anyone when it comes down to money in a strip club. I get ready before I go to work and spend as little time in the dressing room as possible. The girls that are f*cked up on drugs, alcohol, a bad break up or PMS can bring you down and wear you out. You go to work to make money not friends. I am friendly and treat everyone with the respect I expect. This isnt sunday school, some girls get involved (or comment) in confrontations that has nothing to do with them. If this person is strung out or just unstable they tend to strike at anyone. Its best to go to work, stay on the floor, focus on you , and disassociate yourself from the drama.

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: A little scared of the other girls...

    Madmaxine...I LOVE your new avatar!!

    Anyways...it is always best to be polite but to just not try to chat anyone up in the locker room. Don't count your money in front of people (go into the stalls), don't get into conversations. I know it sounds "unfun", but some dancers (like my shady club) will use whatever information they can against you. The less they know about you (ie. where you live, your other jobs, where you go to school, boyfriend, etc) the less "power" you give them. There is a way to be polite and courteous but without ever giving out information.

    Don't meet OTC with them...don't go party with them...especially the girls that you are talking about. You're there to make money. Acknowledge this stuff happens and just let it go. Focus on making money.

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    God/dess JustJayda's Avatar
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    Default Re: A little scared of the other girls...

    Venus, I'm never scared, but I've always wondered how the hell to politely tell girls to mind their own biz. I once said to a girl "Damn, I thought I already got the job!" What do you suggest when girls start asking your life history? I travel to dance often, so this always happens!
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    The cut-off age for stripping is when customers stop paying you.

    The end.

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    Default Re: A little scared of the other girls...

    Quote Originally Posted by mollyzmoon
    At the same time, it hardly feels right to be excessively aloof...but then again, maybe that would be the safest bet?
    YES. Absolutely the safest bet. Like Venus said, be polite but keep to yourself. When another dancer is overly friendly, the veterans understand that there are two possible explanations for her behavior: either she is a brand-spanking-new to the business, or you can't trust her as far as you can throw her.

    Either way, avoid the overly friendly girls, and avoid being one of them yourself.

    Just hang back, watch and learn for awhile. There's a certain proper dressing room etiquette, an accepted way that veteran dancers relate to one another (which can, I might add, be a little different at different clubs). You'll figure it out....and if you stay in the business long enough, it'll become second nature.
    "Doc still loved true things, but he knew it was not a general love and it could be a very dangerous mistress." - John Steinbeck, Cannery Row


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    Senior Member Lexy9804's Avatar
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    Default Re: A little scared of the other girls...

    Definitely keep to yourself at work. You are there to make money. They are there to make money. Every dancer looks at you as competition. Its very true don't trust anyone, and most of all don't count on anyone in the club. You have to be self sufficient in the business.
    "The body is meant to be seen, not all covered up."
    ~Marilyn Monroe

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    Default Re: A little scared of the other girls...

    Being a little scared is probablly a good thing. It is your intution kicking in, and you need to be wary of those girls. It sounds like there might be more then a little drug problem in your club, and the pimps are not a good sign either. If someone is a tweeker they can go from sweet as pie one minute to ready to kick your ass the next. If the habit has a good hold on them they will sell their grandmother's social security check to feed their habit (or worse), so be very careful around these people.

    It doesn't bother me when other girls start asking questions about my personal life. I'm just honest, and if they think they can trash talk about me to the guys so that they can earn more money, then I let them think that. I believe that customers don't put too much stock in what the dancers tell them, especially if they see a girl that they find very attractive. I'm always vauge about how much money I make when a dancer asks. Usually it is a new dancer who will ask, and I'll say something like " I haven't counted yet" or "I did okay, but it could have been better".

    A rule of thumb for me hanging out with girls OTC is that I would have to feel comfortable introducing them to my family. If I worry about my Mom meeting one of my friends (what she might say or do) then I won't hang out with her. So far in 7 years of dancing I've become friends with 3 dancers socially. I have traveled with a couple others, and have gone to breakfast or out for drinks with a few others, but not something like we are texting all the time. Most of my contact with other dancers is professional (I sell costumes) and not social.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  13. #13
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: A little scared of the other girls...

    ^Regarding what Nicolina said about "over-friendly" dancers- I've noticed dancers with psychological problems buddy up to newer dancers since they don't know what that girl is all about. Also watch out for crap-talking chicks. No good to be had there.

  14. #14
    Crissychan
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    Default Re: A little scared of the other girls...

    Ironically all the girls that I'm friendly with at work I've met on SW! We have that common ground and help each other make money and usually follow one another on stage rotations.... outside of that small group of girls (4) I don't really talk to anyone at my club dancer wise. We don't have a drug problem that I know of and drama girls get filtered quickly.

    I agree with what someone said about befriending waitresses and bouncers, I've made lots of money with them helping.

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: A little scared of the other girls...

    Quote Originally Posted by JustJayda
    Venus, I'm never scared, but I've always wondered how the hell to politely tell girls to mind their own biz. I once said to a girl "Damn, I thought I already got the job!" What do you suggest when girls start asking your life history? I travel to dance often, so this always happens!
    I've always just smiled and said, "Gosh...where do I start?" *pause* "Oh, look at that table...how much money do you think we could make off them?" It takes the pressure off to answer, and then moves it into a different arena that gets everyone thinking MONEY. You could also just say, "I don't want to be rude...but I really don't have time for chatting...there is so much money out there to be made and I want to make as much as possible. Wanna hit the floor with me?"

    If a dancer comes up to you and starts complaining about something...just nod, say "uh-huh", "oh, really?" and "wow". Exclamations go where needed, but never add your two cents and don't give "personal" opinions.

    I found, the less I'd be in the locker room or hanging out at a table, the less I would getting into deep conversation. I hated when I'd walk into a club and see an entire table-full of dancers chatting away. When I was dancing I loved it...it meant that many more customers for me...but it's bad customer-service wise.

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    Default Re: A little scared of the other girls...

    Quote Originally Posted by madmaxine
    ^Regarding what Nicolina said about "over-friendly" dancers- I've noticed dancers with psychological problems buddy up to newer dancers since they don't know what that girl is all about.
    That's true. When I first started dancing, my first "buddy" was one of the most fucked up chicks there. She just wanted a ally (sp? drunk ). Still, she didn't cause ME any problems... I was just really careful not to get dragged into her drama. Seriously, there's no good to be hand with befriending girls you work with. You never know when someone ends up being a psycho bitch.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Default Re: A little scared of the other girls...

    The way i look at it is im not there to make friends. Im there to make money. I dont care who likes me and who dont. And to tell you the truth having a lot of friends and getting all into the drama is just ganna make you lose money. You dont wanna spend time talking to girls all night. You should just work them customers and take there money girl. Forget bout them girls and make the $ . You will find someone you can get alone with and trust. If you dont . FUCK IT. You will still be making money and that what your there to do right.

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    Senior Member Abbeynormal's Avatar
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    Default Re: A little scared of the other girls...

    Customers ask me all the time, "Do you know so-and-so?" and the answer is always the same for me: no I do not. Even if a dancer is sending signals that she wants to make small talk, I ignore it. There have been too many times that I tried to be friendly and ended up almost getting punched or whatever. I go, get ready, and I stay on the floor all n ight except to occasionally freshen up. At the end of the night, I gather my things and go home. I'm really cynical about this, and people probably think I'm bitchy or whatever, but I'm just tired of getting dragged into drama just because they didn't like that I was being friendly to them.
    "This above all: to thine own self be true."

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    Veteran Member pimpy718's Avatar
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    Default Re: A little scared of the other girls...

    Quote Originally Posted by TigersMilk
    My 2 cents is if you want to relate to someone in the club: make ITC friends with your waitresses, bouncers and such. Those are the people and while tipping well will help you.

    Honestly, girls come and go, get fired, get on drugs, do extras, and a whole mess of stuff its best to stay out of. Maybe one or 2 girls are aactually nice but ...forfeit the wanting to be friendly and just hold on to yourself. As you are there long enough and just do your thing the nice ones might come out of the closet and see that. Above all - its lonely to not even be semi-social at work but youll be making waaay more money being w/o the random drama.

    Ive worked in clubs where we could tip the manager. But damn he didnt do anything for me? So why should I tip them? Maybe to work a certain day but I just dont see tipping them beneficial.
    I just wanna second this.............well done!!! I also wanna say-Nobody likes the new girl at first. So get over it, like yourself, your customers, your bouncers and servers/hostesses 'cause these are the people that are helping you get that $$$$.
    "You love my lady lumps."



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