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Thread: why do dancers avoid me

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    Smiley why do dancers avoid me

    Dancers tend to avoid sitting next to me when I'm sitting away from stage and I do not understand why. I tend to be polite and always tip them when I sit around the stage. They seem to be friendly when dancing in front of me but will alway avoid sitting by me when not dancing. Why do dancers avoid some guys...I this case me?

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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: why do dancers avoid me

    Hmm, one post, we know nothing about you... so how would we know?

    Still, I have a suggestion, next time you go to the club, bring a few extra twenties, beyond what you plan on spending on lap dances, and when you see a dancer you want to sit with you, go up to her, give her a twenty and ask her to come sit with you.

    Do that a few times, to a few different girls and your problem will probably disappear.

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    Default Re: why do dancers avoid me

    Yes money always works. But there are special cases. Do you bring mints and shower or be clean before going to the club? I have to ask b/c there wasnt much to go on in your original post. No offense to you of course.

    What do you say to them if anything at all?
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    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
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    Senior Member Luke34's Avatar
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    Default Re: why do dancers avoid me

    Tip a $10 or $20 bill and ask the dancer you like to join you for a drink. As long as you pay for her time, she will keep you company.

    I see this is your first post but it is a bit like asking "Why can't I pull a root in a brothel ?"

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    Moderator yoda57us's Avatar
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    Default Re: why do dancers avoid me

    We need more information. Some guys don't "look" or "act" like they are spenders. I'm not sure quite what that means but It's something dancers have told me.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
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    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Senior Member Vixen608's Avatar
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    Default Re: why do dancers avoid me

    Yes I agree with Yoda57us, many guys dont look like spenders so girls dont approach them. The same thing with my boyfriend, he will go out and never get approached and he is a good looking guy. I think it is all about how you come off..

  7. #7
    Sitri
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    Default Re: why do dancers avoid me

    You are assessed in the following order.

    1. How you look
    2. How you dress
    3. How you act
    4. How you smell
    5. The shiftness of the eyes and the hand down the front of the pants moving rapidly.

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    Moderator yoda57us's Avatar
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    Default Re: why do dancers avoid me

    yep, that "hand down the pants" thing scares em' off every time....no matter how good I smell....
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: why do dancers avoid me

    Okay, I'm taking for granted that you are intending to adequately, if not generously, compensate these hypothetical dancers. If you just want free company - well, there is your answer. We like money. Other than that, barring all extreme behaviours (e.g. a lot of drooling, if you have peed in your chair, you keeping picking your nose and then wiping your snot on her) then it is probably being determined by money. They don't think you are planning on spending any money, so there is no point in sitting down and being wildly charming (hey - our charm has market value). I don't know why this is, but you probably do. Have you been going here a long time and never bought a dance? Have you refused to buy dances from every girl in the place? Do you pay for your drink with exact change? (don't get mad at that, some guys do). Are you going to a fancy-schmancy club and not dressing appropriately (this is not normally an issue as long as you don't look homeless, but if you look particularly out of place, they might read into it)? Honestly - just ask the dancer you want to dance for you, and she will scamper right on over - so long as you are not actually wiping snot on her. That would likely be teh deal breaker.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Default Re: why do dancers avoid me

    Quote Originally Posted by wmd
    Dancers tend to avoid sitting next to me when I'm sitting away from stage and I do not understand why. I tend to be polite and always tip them when I sit around the stage. They seem to be friendly when dancing in front of me but will alway avoid sitting by me when not dancing. Why do dancers avoid some guys...I this case me?
    Do you have a third eye in the middle of your forehead?

    That tends to make dancers shy away from people.

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    Default Re: why do dancers avoid me

    I tend to dress above average, (average being t-shirt and baseball cap).
    I wash and brush my teeth.
    I tip about $4 or $5 dollars every time I'm next to a stage. Which seem about average.
    I'm respectful and don't try to get a feel on the sly.
    I'm 46 years old...but people say I look in my thirties.
    I complement the girls I find atractive.

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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: why do dancers avoid me

    Quote Originally Posted by wmd
    I tend to dress above average, (average being t-shirt and baseball cap).
    I wash and brush my teeth.
    I tip about $4 or $5 dollars every time I'm next to a stage. Which seem about average.
    I'm respectful and don't try to get a feel on the sly.
    I'm 46 years old...but people say I look in my thirties.
    I complement the girls I find atractive.
    You don't mention buying lap dances. Dancers will sit with you in order to sell lapdances, or because you are compensating them for their time sitting with you, not because you look younger than you are. So perhaps they've marked you as a guy who doesn't buy lapdances.

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    Featured Member lunchbox's Avatar
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    Default Re: why do dancers avoid me

    I only get approached by the ones who have to hustle. I think its my beard (even though I trim it to a 2 at least once a week, so its not some hippy/nappy beard) and the fact that my face shows no emotion. I'm told I look intimidating. I dress fairly nice, I don't stink aside from smoke, and I have money. Believe it or not I've been to SC's and not been able to spend as much money as I planned.

    I don't understand the whole fear of asking thing. If I did that, I'd never get a dance from a girl who is my type.

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    Featured Member Destiny's Avatar
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    Default Re: why do dancers avoid me

    I'm guessing you are going during the day shift. In a lot of clubs, the dayshift is all about regulars. Plus, there are never as many girls during the day, so the dancer/customer ratio is pretty low.

    Look at it this way. Two guys walk in to the club. A dancer's regular, that routinely spends $200 on her, and you. You may have brought $400 with you to spend. But obviously, she's going to go where the "sure thing" is, at your expense. So I'm curious. Are the girls that are ignoring you spending their time with other customers or sitting on their butts at the bar?
    Dancing is wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it. ~Christopher Morley, Kitty Foyle

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    Default Re: why do dancers avoid me

    Quote Originally Posted by wmd
    Dancers tend to avoid sitting next to me when I'm sitting away from stage and I do not understand why. I tend to be polite and always tip them when I sit around the stage. They seem to be friendly when dancing in front of me but will alway avoid sitting by me when not dancing. Why do dancers avoid some guys...I this case me?
    Did this happen in every club you went to or just in one certain club? The girls did not even ask if you want a dance? weird

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    Default Re: why do dancers avoid me

    I suppose I have to ask here, what exactly is it you want out of a dancer approaching you? I know some guys who go to clubs who would love to have your problem.

    I'd have to understand more about the nature of the club you're going to as well. Until then, I'm in the dark here.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    Default Re: why do dancers avoid me

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us
    yep, that "hand down the pants" thing scares em' off every time....no matter how good I smell....
    HAhahahaha!! Just a lil scary ya know playing stick shift at the SC.

    Well lets see you smell good and you dont bother them with insipid conversation while tipping nicely....seems all good to me.
    I said the thing in my previous post because no matter how much money someone has if they are smelly (like I wanna blow chunks smelly)- it aint happenin.

    When they do approach you what do you say?
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: why do dancers avoid me

    I suppose I have to ask here, what exactly is it you want out of a dancer approaching you?
    No shit.

    Let me share this tidbit of wisdom:

    IF YOU WANT A DANCE FROM A CHICK, JUST WALK UP TO HER AND ASK.

    Call me crazy but this method actually works, even for my fat, balding, toothlessly slobbering PL ass.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

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    Senior Member GeorgeBailey's Avatar
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    Default Re: why do dancers avoid me

    Quote Originally Posted by Casual Observer
    No shit.

    Let me share this tidbit of wisdom:

    IF YOU WANT A DANCE FROM A CHICK, JUST WALK UP TO HER AND ASK.

    Call me crazy but this method actually works, even for my fat, balding, toothlessly slobbering PL ass.

    Well said, CO.

    I'm fit, dress well, clean with freshly brushed teeth, though a little homely. Yet I don't seem to draw as much attention as most guys. (Some girls have said I look a little LE-ish). However, a simple "could I get a dance later?" while tipping at the stage works wonders.

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    Default Re: why do dancers avoid me

    You may be sitting too close to the stage. Some girls will not approach a customer close to stage because of respecting the dancer on stage . It's an ettequite thing with some girls. Move around the club. Go to a high traffic area in the club and ask for a dance.

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    Default Re: why do dancers avoid me

    Some guys exude a scent of neediness. You can see them sitting in clubs sometimes almost begging with their eyes for attention...try being confident, approach the girls, offer a drink or whatever, compliment their beauty or outfit, and then ask them if they can spare a few minutes for some fun with you...being forward always has worked for me...and remember sometimes even dancers are shy.

  22. #22
    eyeawry
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    Default Re: why do dancers avoid me

    Seconding what Brandi004 said -- if a customer is sitting at a stage tipping, I don't approach him to hustle. If he's tipped me, I'll go over and thank him, but I won't take him away from the stage.

    Unless, of course, he's tipped me more than a few dollars. If he's slipped a 10 or 20 dollar bill in my g-string, you're damn right I'm asking him for a dance, stageside or not. Hey, big spender...

    (Edit: I just noticed your post specifically mentioned that this happened when you were AWAY from the stage. Oops.)
    Last edited by eyeawry; 09-28-2005 at 04:13 PM.

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    Featured Member CalifSCVisitor65's Avatar
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    Default Re: why do dancers avoid me

    Just wave her over. If I didn't do that this past weekend, I'd would never gotten a dance because it was so busy and sat in a terrible inaccessible spot.

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    Default Re: why do dancers avoid me

    Quote Originally Posted by skanklover
    ...and remember sometimes even dancers are shy.
    ....or insecure.

    As a dancer, there were some nights when I could convince myself that I was The Shit--that I had the cutest ass in the whole place and any guy would be thrilled to hand over a handsome sum of cash to have me wriggle around nekkid just for him. Not surprisingly, those were the nights I banked.

    However, there were many other nights when I utterly failed to convince myself of this. I'd look around the club, and, no matter who my gaze settled on, I'd find myself thinking, "That guy will hate me. I'm totally not his type. If I go over there and talk to him, he'll probably spit on me before telling me to go see a cosmetic surgeon about my profound ugliness."

    Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating. A little. But my point is that I think most dancers fluctuate between these two extremes. Sometimes I'd swing from one extreme to the other in the course of a night (and no, I'm not bipolar . Though dancing can sometimes make you feel like you are!)

    When we're having one of those moments where we feel like we're drowning in a vast sea of self-derision, the only thing that will snap us out of it and convince us that we're cute is to have some guy take the initiative and let us know he's interested.

    (And yes, interest=money in that environment. A compliment may cheer me up a little, and convince me to spend some time trying to charm you into the champagne room....but if you ultimately fail to pony up and pay up, I'll end up feeling that I wasted my time and that you weren't really being sincere, or respectful of my need to work. )

    Just my two cents.
    "Doc still loved true things, but he knew it was not a general love and it could be a very dangerous mistress." - John Steinbeck, Cannery Row


    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Default Re: why do dancers avoid me

    A large majority of dancers nowadays for some reason don't go table to table asking for dances. Ive noticed the change even in Arizona clubs, which have always been known for 4-5 girls per song approaching each guy.

    I understand why you would be upset. It is a dancers job to approach each customer, and obviously makes a person upset when he is skipped over for someone else. Why would you want to flag a dancer down who didn't think enough of you in the first place to ask you for your business?

    You can't look at a customer and see what he will spend but way too many of todays dancers think that is the case. And many are afraid to approach customers. I work a lot in a variety of clubs and would say 2/3 of dancers in clubs today are not approaching most of the customers. These girls need a club manager to get on them constantly, to make sure they are working the crowd. In a lot of clubs today the club management only cares about collecting dancer house fees and not what they are doing on the floor.

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