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Thread: Are you paranoid of how people are underneath it all?

  1. #1
    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Are you paranoid of how people are underneath it all?

    I know that I posted this in another thread, but I really want to know if others have the same paranoia about how men are underneather their mask of good behavior, and I doubt a lot of people have the patience to go through 13 pages. Forgive my bandwidth whoring.

    I don’t think that a lot of strippers hate men, but we are extremely aware of what men are underneath their everyday masks, which makes us paranoid. Face it, people act differently in situations, like with friends vs. with a guy that you have a crush on. In a strip club, we see men who feel no need to give us the slightest courtesy. They assume that we don’t have feelings or shame, that we were created specifically for the purpose of kissing their asses while they slap ours. I’d be lapdancing a man with a wife and three little girls who’d ask me for a BJ and grope me. A guy who’s known on campus for being a sweetie called me a slut and yelled at me to beg for the dollar. I’ve almost been raped in a club that had no bouncers and a pervert of a boss who got me to do stuff b/c I didn’t know any better. I’ve been groped by “bouncers” who promised to protect me. These men are our laywers, teachers, nurses, husbands, boyfriends, cops, brothers, fathers, etc. What are they like underneath, free from self-consciousness and fear of being labeled as a pervert? Given the chance, would they rape a teenage virgin and make her lick the blood off his dick? Is the fear of being labaled a pervert the only thing that keeps them from acting on perverted impulses? You know what the #1 excuse is that they give for groping? “You really can’t blame me,” followed by “flattery” of how gorgeous you are or how you deserved it by seducing him. That’s bullshit unless you have an extreme case of Tourette’s Syndrome. Another thing that pisses me off is the line, “I can’t help it.” I was almost raped by my high school ex while making out with him. He started shaking and started forcing me to kiss him while taking off my clothes. He then started crying while still doing it, claiming that he didn’t want to rape me but couldn’t control his actions. Again, that is bullshit. I’ve lapdanced hundreds of guys who, despite me grinding and breathing on their (decent!) erogenous zones and almost driving them to spooging their pants, managed to keep their hands on the sides of the couches.

    Another thing is the male friends who betray our trust. I stripped in a college town, so word got around. Many of my male friends who found out would approach me sexually in some way, whether it was jokingly asking for a lapdance, requests for freebies, or a slap on the ass. It’s a true test of friendship. True friends acknowledge that you are the same person, that stripping is not a part of your personality, and that you don’t grind strangers’ dicks OTC. Rejects will assume that they have access to you, and that they can drop the courtesy of treating you like a person. I could go on forever on these rejects. Most of them claim that they’re chivalrous, that they could never disrespect a woman (this often alternates with whining that women treat them like shit b/c they don’t have backbones). One ex-friend even went so far as to justify his requests by analogizing it to, “If I had a doctor friend, I’d ask him for healthcare advice. Likewise, I asked you to share some of your services (Advice is one thing, I’d give ADVICE on stripping, I’m not a charity whore.)” He even told his mom that I was a stripper, claiming that he wasn’t going to lie to her (Did she ask you point blank if I was a stripper? NO. I am a student and a nurse, not a stripper). All in all, true friends know that you strip but are not a stripper. Rejects see you as public pussy.

    I do not hate men by any means. I am blessed to have a wonderful boyfriend who hated the fact I stripped, yet supported me with everything and never judged me. I sometimes lash out at him, which I feel terrible about because he’s been nothing but good to me. I will marry this man. I’m still healing from the shithole club that I started out at, where the boss would turn down the music so the “bouncer” could have a more peaceful nap. I’m seeing a shrink. All the same, when I meet a person- male, female, adult, teen- I can’t help but wonder when they’re like under their conscious masks. This is a distant cousin to the “former fat kid’s paranoia (are they treating me like a person b/c I’m skinny now?).” I’ve realized that the world is not a nice place, and that people can be wolves in sheep’s clothing.

    Does anyone else agree with this paranoia of how people really are, namely men?

  2. #2
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you paranoid of how people are underneath it all?

    Eh.. I think paranoia isn't restricted to one gender. Matter of fact, I know way more paranoid females than I do paranoid males.

  3. #3
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Are you paranoid of how people are underneath it all?

    I not only have the "advantage" of being paranoid from hereditary mental illness, but my life to this point has proven that you shouldn't trust anyone. So that bad gene worked out for me LOL.
    My exposure to secret male behavior in SCs has only made me understand better the nut-busting treatment guys dish out to eachother- they all got eachother's numbers. I think our culture is too feminized. American women project virtue & value on certain men when it's not there, because we want it so bad.
    My verdict is that all the women should group to make eugenic communes headed by alpha males & leave the other males outside to prey on eachother. LOL

  4. #4
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you paranoid of how people are underneath it all?

    Guys are hellavuh paranoid. Perhaps they just handle it better. They take the small hits to avoid the big ones. Every guy 30 years or older has been screwed over by some person in some way (and yes, it does tend to be women - these days they are proving themselves to be very untrustworthy - cheating, divorce, liar, fair weather friend, you name it.)

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    Default Re: Are you paranoid of how people are underneath it all?

    Oh, I think I get paranoid most of the time



  6. #6
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you paranoid of how people are underneath it all?

    There are still some decent people out there that you can truly take at face value,though they are a dying breed.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  7. #7
    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you paranoid of how people are underneath it all?

    There are some decent people in the world... but they are rare indeed. I have been in the mode of not trusting anyone.. including my own family.. how sad is that to admit? However, I have overcome this because I realized that the only way to get over being this way was to take little steps of trust with people. It wasn't easy.. and lots of outlashing took place..

    However, I believe that everyone is paranoid for one reason or another, its just a matter of how you decide to deal with it. Take people for what they are, or take a little steps.


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    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you paranoid of how people are underneath it all?

    I have had lots and lots of fickle male friends turn on me when it became obvious that I was not going to sleep with them. Even when I was not dancing, tis happened. Even wehn I was in the Army and we were all supposed to be doing the gender-neutral, maintain-your-military-bearing thing.

    I think Billy Crystal's character in "When Harry Met Sally" is right: Guys' can't be your friend without wanting to sleep with you, but wehn the feeling isn't mutual they cant handle it.

    Maybe not all guys, but many who I have known.


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  9. #9
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Are you paranoid of how people are underneath it all?

    Quote Originally Posted by onlythebest
    There are still some decent people out there that you can truly take at face value,though they are a dying breed.
    I agree. I have shit with my job now, shit with men now, and shit with some friends! Some people just should not breed!

    Pamela

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you paranoid of how people are underneath it all?

    Personally, I think if you are finding yourself amongst people, constantly, whom you feel that you need to be paranoid about...it's time to take a look at your own self. Why are you allowing these kinds of people into your life?

    I've met people whom I probably never should have trusted. However, I've learned some valuable lessons and have since made the necessary changes. If you find yourself in the same situation all of the time...it simply means that you have chosen to ignore the lessons that these people are bringing to you.

  11. #11
    God/dess Bunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you paranoid of how people are underneath it all?

    I have a gay friend who tells me some pretty scary stories about all the "straight" men who fool around with gay guys who have wives at home that never know. There are pieces of shit all over.

  12. #12
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Are you paranoid of how people are underneath it all?

    Well, I would like to point out a couple things- in my life it's often taken ONE person to sour/hurt me on something, and then ONE person to change things back for the better.
    Thing number two- Karma exists, (and yes, that includes me getting punished.) Whenever I get all pissed off about someone or something, I remember the thing Jesus said about judgement- Why complain about the mote in someone's eye when you have a plank in your own? You do have to look at yourself first.

    PS I do have to say, I have had experiences with men I met through work ranging from true affection & respect to physical battery and threats of bodily harm. Just like before I was a dancer. LOL
    This wonderful French female artist made a house with a facade and vestibule that looked like a woman's spread legs and the door was where her vulva would be. The inscription above the door stated that whatever crossed the person's mind as they entered that door was their true essence.

  13. #13
    Newbie aliceland's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you paranoid of how people are underneath it all?

    I think this is a wonderful post and a good point. I wonder about people all the time and I think that is a good thing - as long as it doesn't make me angry, or sad, or completely jaded with humanity.

    This is one of the biggest issues that can infuriate me if I allow it. I believe you either have respect for people or you don't. If you think strippers are scum and want to treat them that way you have no business being in a stripclub. If you're spending hard earned dollars to be with scum (at least what you think is scum) then what exactly are YOU? I'm sure I'm not the only one who has heard "I respect people who respect themselves". What a copout. I treat everyone with respect whether I like them or not. I am especially gentle with people that don't respect themselves, they need it more than anyone. (As long as they don't bring that lack of respect on me.) People who only respect those who "respect themselves" only give that respect because they are compelled to, not because they were raised to be respectful people. I don't believe they feel any genuine respect for anything at all. And unfortunately, I fell that adage is mainly applied to women who aren't ashamed of expressing their sexuality.

    It's a shame we still have this double standard in this day and age. To be frank, however, I find it a blessing in disguise to be exposed to these people. I know the ugliness that lurks behind the mask. I'm a glutton for truth.

    I'm sorry to hear about all of your negative experiences, and the fact that it hasn't stopped you from doing your thing and you learned from these experiences, speaks volumes for your strong, beautiful character. You've got my respect in spades!

  14. #14
    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you paranoid of how people are underneath it all?

    20% of the population is suffering some kind of mental illness. When you add in the substance abusers, and plain old jerks, thats a lot of people to be wary of. I don't think your reactions or analyses are wrong. In your private life you get to screen out the bullshit but in the general public you have to screen the workplace you chose, the neighborhood and apartment you live in etc. One crazy neighbor can fuck it all up. I've had to move four times in a row over loud and menacing neighbors. One stalked me and the next stalked my boyfriend and threw furniture, the next had heroin parties complete with retching. I finally decided to only live on the top floor in the corner unit to improve my odds of peace and quiet.

    I say a little paranoia is very healthy. I expect a bit of dysfunction until people prove themselves sane with consistent good behavior.

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you paranoid of how people are underneath it all?

    Only, maybe, 2 men in my entire life have been the same as I met them and as other people knew them as well.

    And 1 woman.

    :/


    Look like a woman
    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
    Work like a dog

    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you paranoid of how people are underneath it all?

    I am not the same today as I was yesterday.
    All I can do is my best to make sure my decisions do not negativily effect those around me without cause.

    That being said, I can only apply the same democratic thinking to those with whom I interact with.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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