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Thread: Total Downward Spiral.

  1. #1
    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Total Downward Spiral.

    I havent danced in over 2 weeks now. I worry that I wont have a job to come back to. My insomnia is now working hand-in-hand with CFS and the results are killing my life. I either cant sleep at all, or sleep so much I cant get out of bed. I have no energy to do anything. I've been struggling to keep up with my other 3 jobs and it just isnt working. Every day, I plan to go into my job(s), and make it through so I can pay my bills... but then all I want to do is go back to sleep. I've had times where I've been wide awake for 1-2 days straight, and times where I've slept for 25 hours. I'm starting to get at wit's end here. I look like a raccoon, and I'm too scared to try to dance in the condition I'm in.

    I really just want to crawl under a rock and hide.

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    Marek says, "A friend of mine got punched in the face by a dominatrix stripper about two weeks ago and I thought of you."

  2. #2
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Total Downward Spiral.

    Whoa girl, get thee to a doctor!

    My mom suffered from this but she didn't work so she was able to allow the cycle to occur....what is CFS, if you don't mind me asking?

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    Default Re: Total Downward Spiral.

    My precious Paige...Im sorry youre struggling with this. I cant imagine how you feel although I can empathize (sp?).
    Maybe you are suffering from burnout? Sometimes it just creeps up on you. If you can take a break by all means do it....a real break not 12hr of sleeping like 2 more weeks of rest if you can.

    Do you take anything for your conditions? Have you seen anyone as to why this could be going on? Maybe there is something bigger here than having CFS and insomnia?
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  4. #4
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Total Downward Spiral.

    Oh, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome...my friend has that, she is always taking naps.....

    In CA, the state will help people with CFS get treatment & help. Not sure if FL does too but can't hurt to find out......

    Are the insomnia/ narcolepsy patterns hormone-related? I doze off for a couple days during ovulation...(dismiss it as God trying to keep me from going out and rutting...LOL)

  5. #5
    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: Total Downward Spiral.

    I didn't realise you had CFS - I have had it for 8, 9+ years but I think I'm finally over it as I seem to have been improving dramatically for the last couple of years. Are you having any sort of treatment?
    If your interested in trying something simple and cheap for the sleep pattern disturbances, hear this - Florida, the whole of Australia and New Zealand have no magnesium in the soil and although the average Dr wont tell you this - alot of people who live in these areas have the deficiency. Insomnia is one sympton, hyperactivity is another - there are more but you don't need a list!
    You can buy Dolomite (its a natural product - contains Calcium and Magnesium is a balanced dose) and take it at least 3 times a day and see if there's some improvement in a couple of weeks. Magnesium cured my sons hyperactivity and lingering glue ear within a week!

    Another simple thing that has worked wonders for me is - drinking lots of water and breathing through my nose! Sound stupid I know, but it makes a differance. (Butekyo method sites should have more info on the nose vs mouth breathing...)
    If you know of a GOOD naturopath or alternative Doctor in your area and can get there I recomend seeing either or both. I appreciate just how hard it is to actually get to anywhere with CFS on a bad day though!
    I don't know how you've managed with 3 jobs - I know how hard it is just to get up and think on a bad day! I hope you are over the worst!

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    Veteran Member Yea's Avatar
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    Default Re: Total Downward Spiral.

    sweety go to the doctor, take a bath, chill out and do something you enjoy.

    I hope you feel better,
    Hugz


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    Default Re: Total Downward Spiral.

    You are going to have to cut back on something. I worked 3 jobs about 2 years ago. I handled it fine just being worn out on my day off. It will hit you like a brick wall if you continue. Avoid caffine, late exercise at night. Get on a schedule where you go to bed at the same time every night and get up at the sametime in the morning.(7-8 hrs if possible)

    Focus more on time management with these jobs. If you have one for insurance reasons keep that one. Other than that puit more hours into dancing and eliminate the third.

    If you don't you will be in the hospital or have a low quality life. Insomnia - try melatonin. If that doesn;t do it Ambian prescription will knock you out. It is habit forming if taken too long and you have to sleep a minimum 7 hours. Do get blood work done for other problems

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    Featured Member Lola Lee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Total Downward Spiral.

    Gosh Paige, with a schedule like that you have every reason to have CFS. Usually it's a mystery but maybe yours is stress induced? How long have you been suffering?

    Just a thought, but do you have any other health symptoms? Skin or hair problems, weight gain/loss, body temp flucuations? Anyway, my sleep patterns were erratic like yours when I was (finally) diagnosed with hypothyroidism. CFS and Hypothyroidism are often seen together.

    Go to a doc and ask for a TSH/T3 blood workup. I would also be certain to make sure you have a white blood cell count done to rule out anything else.

    Then again, if your A-OK healthwise, maybe you need to see about taking a break or little vacation. I know, easier said than done, but stress is the silent killer.




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  9. #9
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Total Downward Spiral.

    3 jobs! Paige i have been there. I wrote about it all over the board for years!

    It's hard to unwind after working so much! And it's easy to see why you would be tired. It's clear you are pushing yourself!

    As far as CFS, that can follow an other sickness you may have had also. Or do have.

    I agree you need blood work. And set hours! 3 jobs does through you off a "normal" pattern of living.....It's tough.

    Good luck,

    Pamela

  10. #10
    Cally
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    Default Re: Total Downward Spiral.

    Paige I know exactly how your feel. I was working a job not to long ago where I was working 6 - 7 days a week a min of 15 hours a day with no breaks. I did this for almost 8 months... I crashed hard at about the 7th month I had a migraine that lasted over a week I couldnt sleep and when I did sleep it was for about 20 hours at a time plus I had dizzy spells and a list a mile long of other things. The doctor diagnosed me with the early stages of CFS he wrote me off work for 2 weeks. My boss wouldnt allow me the time off work without firing me so I didnt take it. By the middle of the 8th month I had a nervous break down and quit on the spot. Now im working at the SC waitressing... Im only working 8 hours a night 3 -4 nights a week but I still have the problem where I cant sleep and when I do its for like a day or two. I had a second job, it lasted 3 weeks because I couldnt drag myself into work my day job I didnt even have the will power to do it...
    Could you take a self declared vacation for two weeks? Get some rest and maybe go back to danacing? Try and knock it down to just the dancing or dancing and one other job?
    You really do need to see a doctor though. Mind you im one to talk I still havnt taken my sorry butt to the doctor... im on day 3 with no sleep...
    Good luck Paige I hope you can work your way through.

  11. #11
    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: Total Downward Spiral.

    Quote Originally Posted by TigersMilk
    Do you take anything for your conditions? Have you seen anyone as to why this could be going on? Maybe there is something bigger here than having CFS and insomnia?
    I take Lunesta for the insomnia, as well as Lexapro for my OCD (which helps keep me awake). I havent talked to my doctor yet about the CFS because I'm kinda scared to. A lot of doctors still dont take CFS seriously. I guess it's time to, though....

    Quote Originally Posted by madmaxine
    Are the insomnia/ narcolepsy patterns hormone-related? I doze off for a couple days during ovulation...(dismiss it as God trying to keep me from going out and rutting...LOL)
    I dont think so... I usually only get cramps and back pain when I'm going through my cycle. I've never noticed my sleep being affected by it. I shall keep an eye on it, next time...

    Quote Originally Posted by aussiepunkshocker
    I didn't realise you had CFS - I have had it for 8, 9+ years but I think I'm finally over it as I seem to have been improving dramatically for the last couple of years. Are you having any sort of treatment?
    If your interested in trying something simple and cheap for the sleep pattern disturbances, hear this - Florida, the whole of Australia and New Zealand have no magnesium in the soil and although the average Dr wont tell you this - alot of people who live in these areas have the deficiency. Insomnia is one sympton, hyperactivity is another - there are more but you don't need a list!
    You can buy Dolomite (its a natural product - contains Calcium and Magnesium is a balanced dose) and take it at least 3 times a day and see if there's some improvement in a couple of weeks. Magnesium cured my sons hyperactivity and lingering glue ear within a week!

    Another simple thing that has worked wonders for me is - drinking lots of water and breathing through my nose! Sound stupid I know, but it makes a differance. (Butekyo method sites should have more info on the nose vs mouth breathing...)
    If you know of a GOOD naturopath or alternative Doctor in your area and can get there I recomend seeing either or both. I appreciate just how hard it is to actually get to anywhere with CFS on a bad day though!
    I don't know how you've managed with 3 jobs - I know how hard it is just to get up and think on a bad day! I hope you are over the worst!
    Thanks for the advice! I never knew about the whole magnesium thing. Wow.


    Quote Originally Posted by Brandi004
    Insomnia - try melatonin. If that doesn;t do it Ambian prescription will knock you out. It is habit forming if taken too long and you have to sleep a minimum 7 hours. Do get blood work done for other problems
    I have to take up to 12 pills of Melatonin to get them to work. I just end up sick to my stomach Ambien worked good for me but no doctors will prescribe it long term, and I've had a problem sleeping my whole life. I'm on Lunesta now... not as strong, but long term.


    Quote Originally Posted by Lola Lee
    Gosh Paige, with a schedule like that you have every reason to have CFS. Usually it's a mystery but maybe yours is stress induced? How long have you been suffering?

    Just a thought, but do you have any other health symptoms? Skin or hair problems, weight gain/loss, body temp flucuations? Anyway, my sleep patterns were erratic like yours when I was (finally) diagnosed with hypothyroidism. CFS and Hypothyroidism are often seen together.

    Go to a doc and ask for a TSH/T3 blood workup. I would also be certain to make sure you have a white blood cell count done to rule out anything else.

    Then again, if your A-OK healthwise, maybe you need to see about taking a break or little vacation. I know, easier said than done, but stress is the silent killer.
    The CFS is new... within the past few months. The insomnia has been a lifetime thing. I've always shed hair a lot... I think cause its so thin? I dunno... that's always been there. I'm worse than my cats LOL. No skin problems that I know of. I have a super high metabolism, so I dont gain weight... cant say that's changed at all. I'll try to have those tests done, though.
    Number of times Rickrolled on stage: 6
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    Marasmus says, "Oh no, that wasn't gas, it was merely a rectal chuckle."

    Marek says, "A friend of mine got punched in the face by a dominatrix stripper about two weeks ago and I thought of you."

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    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Total Downward Spiral.

    I second the recommendation that you MUST get to a naturopath.

    Also, I've read about a peer-reviewed Australian study in which the doctors found out that up to *80 percent* of chronic fatigue AND fibromyalgia patients improved when put on an elimination diet. The usual food sensitivity culprits were gluten, milk protein, and soy/bean proteins. (It's rare to have all of these sensitivities -- but a lot of people have one or another, and they can cause all kinds of nasty trouble. My partner had random scary medical problems for seven years before I met him and suggested he cut out dairy proteins entirely. Everything cleared up!)

    If you don't have any clues like we did (digestion goes a little weird after eating X, etc.) I've heard that it's best to do total elimination (lamb-pears-rice) and add things back in slowly, but a naturopath might be able to find those clues in your allergy test profile, digestive tract, bloodstream, etc, so as to make it less trouble.

    P.S. Oh, and the not gaining weight -- also can be indicative of the body type that's prone to these protein sensitivities (partner has that too, though clearing the problems up hasn't made him gain weight, and he's pretty happy about that!)

  13. #13
    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: Total Downward Spiral.

    Yanno.... after this post was made and all was said and done, I looked back at it several times and did a big WHEW for getting out of it.

    But now it's back and it seems that the bottom wasnt really the bottom. Hitting bottom has sub basements, so it seems.... at least my own personal bottom does.

    My doctor upped my Lexapro. For some reason now the sleep paralysis has decreased from 10-20 times per night to 2-5 times per night. Good but it still sucks. I cant afford to go to this whatever place in Ft Lauderdale that actually understands the condition since I live in a county that is inept. My sad helth benefits wont cover it. I cant afford to take the time off, let alone the gas and tolls to go down.

    Speaking of Lexapro.... yanno how I've been wanting to gain weight? I have. I wanted to be about 120lbs. A nice, healthy weight. But thanks to the meds, I'm up to 135. Only my most baggy jeans fit... or I have to wear my BOYFRIEND'S jeans. *sigh* It has all gathered in my stomach and ass and I cant fit into most of my stripper wear, even if I had the mental balls to try to dance looking and feeling like I do.

    The Lexapro has also left me even more the sex drive impared. This has been putting much strain on things with me and the male. So has the lack of me working and our bills pilling up.

    I want to join a gym. Fat chance with no cash. I can kiss the boobs dream goodbye. I barely have food and gas money because I dont dance. I havent since the embarassing Lets Wheel Her Out On A Gurney ON STAGE incident. Even if I were 15lbs smaller, Im so mad about that....

    Walking in my area isnt TOO safe, especially during the hours I am actually home and awake.

    The workouts I try to do dont seem to help one iota.

    My brain has become so frazzled, things I made myself stop doing look so good now. Drugs,... cutting... egads but I am fighting those feelings with all the might I have. So neither have become options. I wont. I refuse... but sometimes they look so nice.

    I've bitten off my acrylic nails out of worrying myself. I'm tying now with bleeding, ragged stubs.

    I can barely get myself to motivate to go to my paycheck job. Note the lack of plural there. I quit my govt. security job. I cant handle the extra stress.

    So my wonderful insurance wont ay for sleep help, or mental help. I'm trying to understand the Social Security website because several people have told me that I should be receiving benefits for A) having my mother die when I was 8, and B) being emotionally disabled. But I cant make heads or tails of it.

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    Marasmus says, "Oh no, that wasn't gas, it was merely a rectal chuckle."

    Marek says, "A friend of mine got punched in the face by a dominatrix stripper about two weeks ago and I thought of you."

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    Featured Member MadisonM's Avatar
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    Default Re: Total Downward Spiral.

    Hey hun... that sucks that you're having so many problems. Ok, maybe try this- I am also on Lexapro (for anxiety/depression). I used to be on Zoloft, but that made me lose an extreme amount of weight, so they switched me to Lexapro, which has caused me to gain most of that weight back. While I was on the Zoloft, I lost my sex drive also. So along with the Zoloft, my doc added Welbutrin. This med is an antidepressant that has much fewer side effects than other antidepressants, and if taken along with another antidepressant, it can actually lessen the side effects of the other drug being taken. After I started taking the Welbutrin along with the Zoloft, my sex drive came back and was totally normal. I'm on Lexapro now and am experiencing the sex drive problem, so my doctor is going to add Welbutrin once again. The generic of Welbutrin is bupropion. Bupropion is also used as a medication to help people quit smoking, and it really does work. I still smoke, but when I was on the Welbutrin, I would light up a cig and not even be able to smoke it- it was gross to me. Once I stopped taking it I felt the need to smoke again, because I never actually quit smoking, I just smoked a lot less.

    Anyway, back to the point. Ask your doc if you can add Welbutrin (bupropion) along with the Lexapro, because these two antidepressants can be combined without overmedicating you. Since you are being treated with the Lexapro for OCD, this may be different, but for the treatment of depression/anxiety, these two are safe to use together, and the Welbutrin counteracts the side effects from the Lexapro.
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    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Total Downward Spiral.

    I can only recommend what I mentioned before -- naturopathy can find problems that conventional doctors don't even think about. Chinese medicine is also good -- a Chinese doctor prescribed my partner medicine for her allergies, and it wound up curing her depression. Which set of remedies works for you will depend on your ethnic type, among other things.

    Good luck.

  16. #16
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: Total Downward Spiral.

    i am pretty damn sure i have cfs b/c i am always fucking tired. Sleeeping 16 hrs straight, all day... Uh, its bad.

    My bloodwork came back for boderline hyperthyroid? or hypo(don't remember)Meaning they will watch it... Yey more bloodwork

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    Veteran Member Phedre's Avatar
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    Default Re: Total Downward Spiral.

    Did they suggest any thyroid meds? I have a friend who had hyper (fast) thyroid. They got her on some meds, I don't remember what they were but it helped. My aunt had a slow thyroid and when they put her on meds for it she ended up losing a lot of weight and had tons more energy, she still isn't sure if she had more energy because of the meds or because of the weight loss.

    Maybe check out your diet. Are you eating carbs, sugar, white flour? All those things can cause you to feel tired all the time. Try switching to a more fruit, veggie, & pretein focused diet for a few weeks and see how you feel. Keep a journal of what you are eating to see if that could be a contributer. I found when I was eating a higher carb diet (and drinking alcohol) that I was always tired. I took a few weeks and ate mostly dried fruits, fresh veggies, and white (chicken, fish, pork) meat and got some B vitamins in my diet that I felt so much better and the constant tired feeling went away.

    Also, force yourself to not sleep more than 9 hours, then get up and exercise right away when you get up, it helps get your blood flowing and makes you feel less tired throughout the day.

    Just my 2 cents. Hope you start feeling better soon.
    Phedre
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    Default Re: Total Downward Spiral.

    Paige,

    I'm kind of new here. I've been posting for about two months, I guess. I'm going through the same thing. It's debiliating to say the least. One of the meds I'm on is Effexor and it seems to help quite a lot with some of my issues. I know exactly what you mean as far as the sleep patterns being messed up. Mine are too. I'm sorry for what your going through. I know exactaly how you feel.

    noodle

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    Default Re: Total Downward Spiral.

    I have a legitimate question.How do you know the difference between a temporary depression or rut and something that is actually clinically wrong?????
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  20. #20
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    Default Re: Total Downward Spiral.

    ^ Frequency and length of depression.

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    Default Re: Total Downward Spiral.

    OTB, the DSM says that if you've had a depressed mood and/or a loss of interest in things that used to interest you for more than two weeks, you are clinically depressed. If it has been two years of depression, then you are dysthymic which is more strongly associated with major depressive episodes.

    In reality tho, depression is a reaction to life, whether it's clinical or not. If you are depressed, there's nothing wrong with you, but you might be in an overwhelming situation or need to learn more coping skills to deal with your situation.



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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: Total Downward Spiral.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lena
    OTB, the DSM says that if you've had a depressed mood and/or a loss of interest in things that used to interest you for more than two weeks, you are clinically depressed. If it has been two years of depression, then you are dysthymic which is more strongly associated with major depressive episodes.

    In reality tho, depression is a reaction to life, whether it's clinical or not. If you are depressed, there's nothing wrong with you, but you might be in an overwhelming situation or need to learn more coping skills to deal with your situation.
    It seems like there's such a huge gray area with this.
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  23. #23
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    Default Re: Total Downward Spiral.

    yeah that's why I don't spend anymore money treating for being depressed. I get depressed and always have. I've learned to deal with it better but I really don't think it's worth paying someone $100+ an hour to talk about my problems. I just go on the internet and bitch

  24. #24
    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Total Downward Spiral.

    Lena: Not always true; I've known people who've been clinically depressed since childhood for no life-reason other than brain chemistry.

    The most usual case is:

    Shit happens. Person gets unhappy. Person gets into "sad habits" and develops the bad brain spiral. There is now no longer shit happening, but the brain has developed the habit of being depressed.

    Antidepressants in this case boost the brain up out of the funk, which is the point at which you, the brain customer, are supposed to take over.

    In the vast majority of cases, it's this kind of thing to a greater or lesser extent.

    In a few unlucky others, it's anything from eating wrong (not enough vitamins or too much sugar) to basic system flaws (brain just doesn't know how to make enough serotonin) and must be constantly corrected on a mechanical level.

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    Default Re: Total Downward Spiral.

    Ok update time. It isnt my thyroid...

    My doctor switched my Lexapro for Effexor so my weight should go down. Yay! He is also going to be doing fat reduction procedures soon so groovy on that too.

    He is sending me to a neurologist, who might have to send me wherever to a subspecialist for the sleep paralysis. Said paralysis has gone down a lot though, dunno why but I am not about to complain! I get it maybe 1 - 3 times a night now.

    I'm still very low on myself though. rolly my manic kicking me but... I want to drop about 15lbs and get my nails back... and I am DETERMINED to save up for bewbs now. Somehow. I need to go back to work and NOT make $20 like I did last week. Ugh. I need to turn this all around for me before I start to hate dancing. I never want to hate it. When I quit, I want to bow out gracefully, not angrily.

    I've been walking a lot when I can. When I have the energy, and been making a lot of new art to vent my frustration. Yay.

    Things are looking up. If I get a chance and some cash, I'd like to drop over to Tampa to say hey to the ladies over there. Just to visit. It'd be good to get out of the town.
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