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Thread: Dancers: what are your personal limits?

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    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
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    Default Dancers: what are your personal limits?

    Hey dancers out there... I am very new to this and have worked two nights so far. What an eye-opener. I'm already realizing that one of the hardest parts of being in this business is that there are so many gray areas when it comes to defining what is classy, nasty, dirty, whorish, ugly... that the dancer must define this for herself. Club rules cannot do this. They are broken all the time: bent by almost all and broken by a few. It's not always just about what is and isnt legal. I watch other dancers to see what is protocol for my club, and that "helps", but then there is how I will personally draw the lines. It is about defining for myself what kind of dancer that I will be. It's not just about creating a kind of persona that will help a dancer become unique, but also developing a persona at work that protects the real self. It's like creating an identity with limits that protect the real you inside you while you dance. That is where dancing becomes a journey of personal philosophy. I came into dancing, even after reading for hundreds of hours on this site, thinking well a dancer is a dancer and puts up with dancer issues, etc etc and here's how you handle this and that... blah blah blah... isnt that funny... blah blah Helpful yes. (No offense to SW... I LOVE IT!!) Now that I have started dancing, I realize that what I learned I only knew in theory.

    A new dancer cannot anticipate all that she will be asked to do. It takes a serious inquiry, at least for me, into how i personally define what i am worth and therefore what I will put up with for free in order to sell a dance, and what I will do during a dance to make multiple sales, etc etc etc.

    I made one of my first personal "mistakes" last night. (BTW, this has to do with my PERSONAL limits, and what may be a mistake for me may not phase another dancer.) I danced for a guy, was butt naked, and then he asked me to sit on his lap. I just plopped down on his knee (no, not facing him, just sitting on one leg, not straddling it.). For free. My pu$$y was on his knee. Eww. I came home and thought later... crap... Why should he get that privilege for free? In my mind, that is more of a VIP experience. Why in my right mind would i sit on anyone's lap and expose my nether regions to contact with ANY part of his body FOR FREE. I feel like it made me look like i was in a brothel... like he was getting a VIP experience in public. I really want to look like and be a clean dancer. I'm thinking of politely and quickly dressing, or at least putting my thong back on and then sitting or tell them that i'd love to have a seat on his lap and chat fully nude, but that I consider it more of a VIP experience so how about we move to the VIP room or tip me a $10 for the privilege for three songs (a set).

    I have also decided that the only situation on the job in which I will drink alcohol is limit two in the champagne room. I made this decision before my first night so was not caught off guard. YAY!

    Also, if drugs ever come out in the VIP room, the fantasy is over immediately, and I will grab my clothes, step outside of the curtain, and call a manager. I do not want to be associated with drugs. Yes, those things come into strip clubs. Yes people do them and good for them if they enjoy them. But I want to be prepared for when and if drugs do come out in front of me instead of acting naively in the moment and regretting that I was not prepared for it to handle it properly.

    Those are some of mine...

    So my question... can you ladies respond with some examples of personal limits that you have set for yourself as a dancer so that you do not become one of those "nasty" etc girls? Or what limits you set so that you can return home and not have such a hard time coming down off of the alterior world that we work in? What limits have you set so that you remain classy? I know this is probably sounds like a nutty question, but I am really struggling with defining the kind of stripper that I will be that will not make me resent the wad of money that is sitting on my desk when i wake up in the morning.

    And yes, I still love dancing, even though I'm getting my reality check. I"m learning so much about myself. That's the hard part. "dancing" is easy.

    Thanks, girls. Please help me with some examples?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Strippers are like ninjas. You never know how many there are or if the person next to you is one.
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    ...I assume you probably don't want to deal with pervs, and the guys that just don't give a fuck about money are like unicorns...
    Quote Originally Posted by Sinder View Post
    I know I have said it before, and I'll say it again.... THE VAGINA IS NOT A CLOWN CAR!


  2. #2
    Veteran Member Lady's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancers: what are your personal limits?

    I guess it depends on the club. At my home club, lap dances, topless, custys cant touch, I do just that. I dont flash I dont let custys touch. I wount work at clubs where custys can touch me, not comfy wth it. I really dont like the nude thing. Only did it twice, long time ago, not sure if i would do it again. I dont drink at work. I dont give custys my number, I only call them from work, only good custys when I need them to come in and give me monye. I never talk or meet custys outside of the club. I do have a couple that I e-mail but the are very long term old, spender custys. Also they are from out of town so I use e-mail as a means to find out when they are in town and make sure I am at work that night.

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    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancers: what are your personal limits?

    I do agency work as well as club work.

    In re: agency work, I will never be a XXX showgirl. I just can't be comfortable with sticking objects (be it a vibe, banana or whatever) up my pussy in public. It pays a hellava lot more and there would be more work for me then... however.. hell no! The most I will do is what is referred to as a masturbation show.. however I will not put anything (including my own fingers) up my pussy in public. I will touch it... rub the clit a little bit in the masturbation shows.. that's it. (It's all an act/performance) My personal preference is straight strip shows where I just go full nude (no masturbation just implied).

    In re: clubs. I worked in a touching environment for many years and never thought anything of it... guys could touch everywhere except near my anus, pussy or inner thigh. Now.. well.. I kinda 'woke up' and realised how much working in that type of environment was f--king with me. I didn't really enjoy it (most guys do NOT know how to handle our breasts the ones that do are in the minority) so now I only work in clubs where there is VERY minimal touching (hair, shoulders, legs, back, arms NO BREASTS OR BUTT)... or none at all. At the same time, I prefer it if I can touch the customer as I like to be sensual in my dances.

    Sitting on a guy's lap naked would only ever happen in the private dance rooms/area in the clubs here in Australia hence they do have to pay to get that privelage.

    Oh... I also don't really like to flash alot of pussy on stage when nude. The only time I will allow people to see my pussy on stage for free (as such) is if I am being paid for the stage show. There is a way to dance full nude that is still gets the guys going without having to flash alot of pussy.


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancers: what are your personal limits?

    Analingus. Sorry boys, I don't know where your ass has been. Perhaps here?
    http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sho...postcount=2326

    so I ain't gonna lick it no matter how much you beg or how much the manager threatens to fire me for my constant prudishness! Now, if you let me give you a baby wipe and throw in an extra $5, then we're in BUSINESS!!! You can A2M for another $10. I think those are reasonable limits.


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  5. #5
    Miss. Kristina Lee
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    Default Re: Dancers: what are your personal limits?

    it sound really wierd but i wont straddle a custy face to face and grind. i would face away and do maybe 3 second light grinding at tops. i prefer non grinding clubs. i have no problem smacking guys int he face with my boobs as long as they keep their mouths shut.

    i cant stand letting a guy touch me either. i could never work in a full contact club.

  6. #6
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Dancers: what are your personal limits?

    No pinching, no grabbing, no hard squeezing, no touching between my thighs, and keep your mouth off me. Within those limits, we're fine. Violate those rules once and you get a warning; do it twice and you get an air dance. I like some light two-way contact, but I don't need my nipples yanked off and I don't like being grabbed and pulled like a blow-up doll. If you can't handle running your hands over me and enjoying a lovely, intimate dance, then just keep your hands to yourself.

    Or go to the skanky extras club down the street and stick your fingers in some ho's gonorrhea discharge if fingering is so important to you. Me, I don't need the infection from your dirty hands.

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    Veteran Member Lady's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancers: what are your personal limits?

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine
    so I ain't gonna lick it no matter how much you beg or how much the manager threatens to fire me for my constant prudishness! Now, if you let me give you a baby wipe and throw in an extra $5, then we're in BUSINESS!!! You can A2M for another $10. I think those are reasonable limits.

    Katrine, Ummm, exactly what do you mean by that, I think I might be getting the wrong idea.

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    Veteran Member funtasticFerra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancers: what are your personal limits?

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah
    No pinching, no grabbing, no hard squeezing, no touching between my thighs, and keep your mouth off me. Within those limits, we're fine. Violate those rules once and you get a warning; do it twice and you get an air dance.

    Do you tell them before you dance that those are the rules? Or is it just implied?

  9. #9
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Dancers: what are your personal limits?

    Generally they ask if they can touch me, and I tell them yes, as long as they are gentlemen. If they try something I don't want - like grabbing my hips or trying to lick me - I ask them very nicely not to do that. Beyond that it depends on what they're doing and how rude it is; I'll either push their hand away and remind them gently that they'll get a better dance if they're respectful, or I'll outright snap at them and tell them the dance will end if they try it again. I've only had to cut a dance short on one guy, although there have been two or three more that got a rushed-through air dance for their rudeness.

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    Member chevere's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancers: what are your personal limits?

    Omg, there are some brave ladies out there! My rules are ABSOLUTELY NO TOUCHING ME, try and I WILL leave, you do not get a refund, club rules, same goes for lude facial gestures. Your one and only warning comes before the dance starts. Better listen. There are no exceptions to the rule. Also there is ABSOLUTELY NO TOUCHING A CUSTOMER, ( who would want too ewwww!)
    We have cameras in all our vip booths and bouncers always watching, plus mirrors so I always know where my customer limbs and other nasty apendages are! Don't F*** with me Bucko! LOL

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    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancers: what are your personal limits?

    if it's just a lap dance, no touching breasts, butt or most def not pussy (no puss touching ever).. but if it's vip they can touch my boobs and butt. if it's an hour vip (so im getting 400+) then im ok if there's boob licking. i NEVER touch a custy, and as for the OP's thing with nude sitting on lap... $10?!?!?!?!?! girl, that's at least a $20, if not more. and honestly, why would you even want your pussy to touch anything of his? who knows where that leg has been or how many other dancers have sat right there buck naked.

    Love it!

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    Default Re: Dancers: what are your personal limits?

    dear customer,

    if i'm sitting on your lap i don't mind if you put a hand on my knee or an arm around my waist as long as you aren't being too clingy about it. (i am not a life preserver.)

    i don't mind a little touching during a dance as long as it's confined to my waist or outer thigh. (again, the ship ain't sinking. don't hold on for dear life.) if you try to be sneaky and gradually work your way to my ass or my pussy i WILL notice and you will loose what little touching privelage you had.

    when i'm facing away from you during a dance, you are always free to rub my back and shoulders but, i'm warning you now, i will go into relaxation mode. this means you are now paying to rub my back. and don't try to sneak a grab at my boobs, doofus.

    i don't mind some grinding if my back is to you but i feel like a toal tool doing it while i'm facing you.

    you will get away with a little bit more (and i will do a little bit more, i.e. grinding while facing you) in VIP than on the floor but i'm still not gonna let you play with my boobs or see my pussy or or finger me. i am not gonna grab your cock or grind till you spoog. uh uh.

    love,
    spoilepet

    *i don't care how much money you spend disclaimer* don't play with my hair. it creeps me out. and DO NOT EVER transfer you saliva to my person in any way. this will cause you to pay full price for a partial dance AND i will try to guilt you into a tip for being skeevy.

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    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancers: what are your personal limits?

    ^are you working tonight?




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    Default Re: Dancers: what are your personal limits?

    I work in the Toronto/Mississauga area and by the sounds of your posts the clubs here are a lot different. I work in a contact club (theyre all the same around here) and in the dancing rooms girls are doing EVERYTHING right out in the open... I've switched clubs a few times but they seem to all be the same, except the classier ones require a license for work. The managers never check the rooms and by lookin around at least 90% of the girls are allowing at the least ..breast licking, and spreding their legs n showin their stuff. This really makes me want to go to a new area to find a club with a classier environment.

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    Default Re: Dancers: what are your personal limits?

    in the city of phoenix, touching a dancer AT ALL is technically illegal. but so is putting boobs in custies face, sitting on custies genital area (grinding) and custies tipping in thong on stage. so i figure if what's considered a "standard, clean one-way contact dance" is already illegal, i might as well just work within my own comfort zone. *shrug*

  16. #16
    Cally
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    Default Re: Dancers: what are your personal limits?

    LoL.. I work where its full on grinding on a cock till the guy cums, tweak your nipples.. finger your pussy etc etc etc..... I do NOT allow any of this. I make guys sit on their hands, I will not grind on them, I give one way contact 'air dances' they're not really air dances but yea... I will lean over them, graze my boobs across their fance rub my body lightly up n down theirs.. whisper in their ear, graze my fingers on their neck... but yea they can never touch me... I still get repeat dances .. guy will get cranky I dont give more but yea... Now if only I could hustle lmao..

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    Default Re: Dancers: what are your personal limits?

    If the guy is not too gross, and hasn't been grabby with me while we were talking, I'll let them rest their hands against my thighs - that's pretty much it. I touch their face and neck with my hair and hands, again, only if they are not too gross. If they try and touch me anywhere else I keep my distance until I can trust them a bit more. I had a guy kept trying to grab me and kiss my stomache, urgh! - I was on a sit down, so I put up with it and didh't leave but, no, GET YOUR UGLY SELF OFF ME!
    Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool.

    Lots of Love, Naomi xXx

  18. #18
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: Dancers: what are your personal limits?

    Wow, so much has changed, hasn't it? I'm looking at some of the old posts....

    GCG, do you regret crossing over your line? Before you wouldn't do any toy shows, and now you do mainly that (I think). What made you change your limits?

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    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancers: what are your personal limits?

    Since this thread got resurrected, I figured I'd post again. (I was the OP). Now I've been dancing for a year, and I've noticed that a lot of the situations I encounter now are repeat issues and I handle them without even thinking. I think I was in shock after my first two days. Here are my limits now...

    1. I will bend over and flash pussy (I work in a full nude club), but I will never touch myself for you or imply masturbation.
    2. I will never touch you near or in between your legs.
    3. I will never accept less than the stated price of a dance. (The club sets the dance prices and I dont want my ass kicked by the other girls.)
    4. I don't care if you know the club owner and he waives your VIP fee. You WILL pay me up front. Then if you molest me in there, I can unleash a verbal tirade and walk out on you with your money. (I learned this the hard way.)
    5. I will never meet a customer outside of the club.
    6. No one gets my phone number.
    7. I don't know where to get drugs. I don't do them. I dont know who else does.
    8. I don't talk about other dancer's personal business with any customer. I don't know if she has kids, a boob job, a husband. I don't even know her real name, so can we talk about something else?
    9. I don't talk dirty. It's too personal for me. Tried it once and felt dirty.
    10. I'll sit on your lap as part of my hustle, but I never do it naked or even topless. (Especially after my boob ended up in someone's mouth this way. DISGUSTING!!!)
    11. I don't drink alcohol when I work. I like to keep my mind on the money.
    12. I don't share any of my hard-earned hustling advice with newbies (unless it's on SW) Find your own game. I'll be nice to you, but you have to figure it out on your own.
    13. I don't give out my real first name unless I do a VIP session. (that's the price they have to pay.) And it may not even be my real name )

    That's about it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Strippers are like ninjas. You never know how many there are or if the person next to you is one.
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    ...I assume you probably don't want to deal with pervs, and the guys that just don't give a fuck about money are like unicorns...
    Quote Originally Posted by Sinder View Post
    I know I have said it before, and I'll say it again.... THE VAGINA IS NOT A CLOWN CAR!


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    God/dess PookaShell's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancers: what are your personal limits?

    Quote Originally Posted by chevere View Post
    Omg, there are some brave ladies out there! My rules are ABSOLUTELY NO TOUCHING ME, try and I WILL leave, you do not get a refund, club rules, same goes for lude facial gestures. Your one and only warning comes before the dance starts. Better listen. There are no exceptions to the rule. Also there is ABSOLUTELY NO TOUCHING A CUSTOMER, ( who would want too ewwww!)
    We have cameras in all our vip booths and bouncers always watching, plus mirrors so I always know where my customer limbs and other nasty apendages are! Don't F*** with me Bucko! LOL
    Haha, I know you're not in Houston. This city really has no limits. However, Pooka does. I don't get freaked out easily. But if someone crosses a boundary - and I don't have specific ones, just the second I feel uncomfortable, I let them know in a very non playful way so they don't try it again. If they try it again, I tell them that if they don't follow my rules, I will follow the city's rules and I will dance 6 feet away from them.

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    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancers: what are your personal limits?

    Hmmm... My boundaries have actually not changed too much since I started working. I have experimented with pushing them many, many times, but they always seem to snap back into place.

    1. Custies are allowed to touch anywhere except boobs and thong area. That's 98% of my skin. You can live without the rest.

    2. I don't mind grinding, but YOU need to sit still and let me do the work. I have sent more than one customer home to change his pants, but that is not my main intention. If it happens, it happens, and you now owe me a tip for a "premium" service.

    3. We all know you have a hard-on going on. I don't need to see it, even inside your saggy-ass sweatpants. If you insist on showing it to me, you are getting an air dance.

    4. Gentle dry kisses, neck nuzzling, and ear-nibbling are all OK, but please keep your gross slimy spit to yourself. Can't remember? How about if I spit in my hand and smear it across your face? Can you remember now?

    5. You are not allowed to do anything that hurts me. If you do, I will hurt back.

    6. Touching privileges are for paying customers only.

    7. If you want me to touch you anywhere "special" I need a tip for that.
    Last edited by colleen; 01-06-2007 at 10:29 AM. Reason: adding more


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  22. #22
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: Dancers: what are your personal limits?

    My personal limits change based on the rules of the club, but I do follow the rules/norms pretty well.

    I guess if I was given enough, my limits are fairly flexable... but I'm talking big money!!!!

  23. #23
    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancers: what are your personal limits?

    Hmm, this is all so interesting. My personal limits do change, I admit it.... If I am giving a VIP to a nice guy, non-stinky, not verbally disgusting, then i don't care if he puts his hands on my waist, thighs, hips, back, tummy, etc....no boobs, no butt, no kitty.

    But if I am doing a VIP for a gross PL, then he get's NO contact. Period. If he's rude and obnoxious and making me constantly defend myself, he gets a crappy dance.

    If I work at a "no cantact" club, then there's no contact....but we don't have many of those here in Az. I think we're all pretty much one way contact with a little bit of bending the rules here and there.




  24. #24
    Senior Member lux_44's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancers: what are your personal limits?

    I usually stick to most of the club rules.

    I watch what the other girls do, and decide based on that if thats something im gonna do.

    -No pie shots on stage
    -No touching my pie onstage
    -No drugs
    -No "extras" im talking sex, bjs, hjs etc

    -Cant touch me. Not my hand. Not my foot. Not my hair, not nothing. Unless your not a creepoid. I might change my mind. But then your only getting a shoulder.
    -Grinding is ok, unless your a pervy pants trying to get more for your buck. Then you get a lame ass air dance
    -Im not giving out my real name
    -Im not giving out my number
    -I will graze my boobs near your cheek, but if your mouth comes anywhere near my boob The only contact the two will make is when i SMACK you in the face with it. And HARD too!

    Thats about it i think

  25. #25
    Featured Member flickad's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancers: what are your personal limits?

    I tend to just abide by the club rules, though if there's something I don't like that the club allows, I of course won't do it.

    I have worked in touching clubs before and thus allowed upper body touching. I am now uncomfortable with any kind of touching at all (sick of being pawed at and overly sexual environments) and would thus pick a very clean, air-dance club rather than have a personal no-touching rule in a club that allowed it. In general I would pick a club with boundaries similar to my current set of personal ones (no overt sex talk, no masturbation, no touching, no rampant drug use, no exchanging of phone numbers or real names, overly drunk customers are asked to leave etc).

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