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Thread: An Attitude Problem

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    Curious Guest SoCalRingo's Avatar
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    Default An Attitude Problem

    I didn't dig deep in the threads to see if this might be a redundant question, so I apologize if is. This is a long setup, but there is a question at the end, trust me.

    Background: I went to a neighborhood club this week while away on business in Atlanta. Ended up having a great time, however it didn't start well...

    Not long after sitting down at the bar and ordering a beverage I was approached; typical small talk, etc. I could tell the dancer was a little hammered. She offered a dance, I respectfully said "maybe later" as I wasn't even two sips into by beer. That is when she went off and lectured me for about 10 minutes. She was playful at first, but seemed to get more agitated minute-by-minute. The point she was trying to make was that dancers don't like it when you say "maybe later" and would appreciate a simple "no thanks" instead. It doesn't matter if she is right or not; it was the delivery and the lecture that annoyed me.

    Anyway, I finally said "thanks for the lecture" with a touch of sarcasm "what is your name?" She said, "[email protected]&* you, a$$!*#$" and walked off. I had a few more beers and ended up forgetting about it for the night and had a nice time.

    My question is...

    Should I have complained to the manager about her attitude and behavior to, at the very least, save the next customer from a hostile lecture? Or chalk it up to someone having a bad day and move on? (which is what I did)

    - Ringo

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    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Attitude Problem

    Yep, chalk it up to a bad night.. We DO have a few of those days and I think it just happened that you were the last straw for her. And as for the "maybe later" that you gave her. I wonder if she is a stripperweb girl we just had a few discussions on whether or not we like the "maybe later" technique that alot of you guys like to use.
    Glad you had a better night after that.
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    Veteran Member SexyJess's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Attitude Problem

    In my opinion, her behavior was out of line. There was no need for the lengthy lecture or swearing.

    However, in a way I feel for her, because I absolutely HATE "maybe later." I prefer "No, thank you" or "I'm just getting settled in, but I will be getting some dances later, please come back if you're not busy." How hard is that? Both statements get the message across. A vague "maybe later" grates on any dancer's nerves.

    I think you did the right thing by just ignoring her. Telling the manager probably wouldn't have accomplished much.

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    Curious Guest SoCalRingo's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Attitude Problem

    Well Gypsy and Jess I am going to stick "maybe later" in my back pocket... point very well taken. Thanks !!

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    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Attitude Problem

    No prob! Thanks for not coming on here and ranting about her. I think you were very mature by just letting it roll off your back.
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



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    Default Re: An Attitude Problem

    A good way for her to react to youre "maybe later" would have been "well, what time lets say 20min?" That way she could have planned on talking to a few more guys then coming back to you when youre ready.

    I dont expect guys to know every aspect of the job, how often we get asked for our number/dates/extras, or how many times we here "maybe later" throughout our night. But her reaction just wasnt cool and not good for business. If she had come back ..I dont think they way she left previously would have made you get a dance from her with that attitude.
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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Attitude Problem

    Yeah, they hate 'maybe later' but she was still out of line.... however, I wouldn't complain unless she had really ruined your night and it sounds like she didn't.

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    Default Re: An Attitude Problem

    F#@K that girl. If I was going out to have fun and had some bitchy girl go off on me I wouldn't give her a dime. If you wanted to deal with that you could have stayed home with the wife. Yes, I do hate the "maybe laters" myself but I do know that really does sometimes mean later they will.

    When you arrive to a club you want to get broken in with a drink or casually observing for a minute. Yes, dancers are at the club for money . A customers mind set (male or female) when they walk into any establishment (bar, car lot, department store) is to get comfortable first. When 5 people walk up to me one after one with the same question IMMIDIATELY when I walk in the door I would get aggrivated too. Eventually most are going to spend but don't like feeling pressured right away.

    The no thanks is definetely better in the case that she doesn't float you boat. No one likes their time wasted so just be honest.

    Like commented before If you do want dances later tell her a time to come back.

    As for her attitude, I don't know how this girl makes consistant money like that. She is probably the one in the back complaining and wondering why everyone else makes more money than her.

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    Default Re: An Attitude Problem

    Quote Originally Posted by SoCalRingo
    I didn't dig deep in the threads to see if this might be a redundant question, so I apologize if is. This is a long setup, but there is a question at the end, trust me.

    Background: I went to a neighborhood club this week while away on business in Atlanta. Ended up having a great time, however it didn't start well...

    Not long after sitting down at the bar and ordering a beverage I was approached; typical small talk, etc. I could tell the dancer was a little hammered. She offered a dance, I respectfully said "maybe later" as I wasn't even two sips into by beer. That is when she went off and lectured me for about 10 minutes. She was playful at first, but seemed to get more agitated minute-by-minute. The point she was trying to make was that dancers don't like it when you say "maybe later" and would appreciate a simple "no thanks" instead. It doesn't matter if she is right or not; it was the delivery and the lecture that annoyed me.

    Anyway, I finally said "thanks for the lecture" with a touch of sarcasm "what is your name?" She said, "[email protected]&* you, a$$!*#$" and walked off. I had a few more beers and ended up forgetting about it for the night and had a nice time.

    My question is...

    Should I have complained to the manager about her attitude and behavior to, at the very least, save the next customer from a hostile lecture? Or chalk it up to someone having a bad day and move on? (which is what I did)

    - Ringo

    The 10 minutes she spent lecturing you she could have been working the floor doing dances. What a dumb ass.

  10. #10
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Attitude Problem

    Should have just got up, turned your back on her and walked to another seat.

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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Attitude Problem

    Quote Originally Posted by Brandi004
    The no thanks is definetely better in the case that she doesn't float you boat. No one likes their time wasted so just be honest.
    Lol, although this can backfire as well... after I told one dancer that I didn't want any dances she asked: Why?

    Umm, because you are a Tabula Rosa that never saw any chalk.... give boring dances and can't even carry on a conversation about the weather, and you have this strange fixation on another dancer in the club so I'm afraid you might snap at any moment....that's why... no I managed to keep that in... told her I was just stopping in for a beer that night or something...

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    Default Re: An Attitude Problem

    Quote Originally Posted by dlabtot
    Lol, although this can backfire as well... after I told one dancer that I didn't want any dances she asked: Why?

    Umm, because you are a Tabula Rosa that never saw any chalk.... give boring dances and can't even carry on a conversation about the weather, and you have this strange fixation on another dancer in the club so I'm afraid you might snap at any moment....that's why... no I managed to keep that in... told her I was just stopping in for a beer that night or something...
    LOL...what do you think she would have said if all that actually came out of your mouth? She might have left you alone after that!

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    Default Re: An Attitude Problem

    Maybe a way to avoid this (I've been guilty of stringing on a few, sorry) is to say exactly what you are thinking.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Attitude Problem

    Quote Originally Posted by Deni
    LOL...what do you think she would have said if all that actually came out of your mouth? She might have left you alone after that!
    She probably would have asked me about the other dancer, etc...I said, she has this weird fixation/copycat thing.

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    Default Re: An Attitude Problem

    Quote Originally Posted by Brandi004
    ... is to get comfortable first. When 5 people walk up to me one after one with the same question IMMIDIATELY when I walk in the door I would get aggrivated too. Eventually most are going to spend but don't like feeling pressured right away.
    Very well said; this is exactly how I feel. And everyone's level of comfort is different. For some guys, 1 drink and they're ready. I like to have at least 3 drinks to get nice and relaxed before I start taking dances. But after that, I'm more than happy to empty my wallet. And the nice girl who politely said, "Great I'll see you in a while" when I said "Maybe later" usually gets my money.

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    Senior Member Luke34's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Attitude Problem

    There is no excuse for rudeness, however sarcasm does tend to blow fuses.

    There was a thread last month about a dancer who knifed someone who refused a dance ...when you compare that to just a lecture and some mild abuse it does not seem so bad...

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    Member Asbat's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Attitude Problem

    i'll say that saying no can be dangerous.. had one dancer that grabed my legs while she was giving me the wanna dance speech after i said no. she clamped down on me so hard she drew blood thru jeans. normally i'd be impressed but not in that cituation
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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Attitude Problem

    Quote Originally Posted by SoCalRingo
    Anyway, I finally said "thanks for the lecture" with a touch of sarcasm "what is your name?" She said, "[email protected]&* you, a$$!*#$" and walked off. I had a few more beers and ended up forgetting about it for the night and had a nice time.

    My question is...

    Should I have complained to the manager about her attitude and behavior to, at the very least, save the next customer from a hostile lecture? Or chalk it up to someone having a bad day and move on? (which is what I did)

    - Ringo
    I think what you did was nearly the best that you could do under the circumstances. I also think it is good that you were able to just let it go, rather than dwelling all night. I personally hate complaints against customer service people - unless they are doing something really, really wrong - largely because most of the time it is because of a bad day, and then that bad day gets filed, somehow with her or his employer and never really goes away, and generally it is for a very minor issue on the customer's part. I think you handled it with a minimum of rudeness and minimum of drama.
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    Default Re: An Attitude Problem

    For every witch like the one you met there are dozens of dancers who work hard at their jobs and appreciate every dime that we spend on them. I don't know how you could have handled it any differently. I tend to say "no thanks" rather than "maybe later" but you should be able to say the later without having to be subjected to every bit of emotional baggage that the term has associated with it by some dancers. No one likes being led-on or having their time wasted but "lecturing" a customer seems like a lose/lose to me.
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  20. #20
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    Default Re: An Attitude Problem

    i always take maybe later as a no, and dont come back, becuase thats generally what it means. i would prefer guys to be honest and save me and them a lot of trouble by just sayign that you dont want one.

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    Default Re: An Attitude Problem

    It seems to me that the problem with the "maybe later" comment is that most dancers take it to mean "yes, definetly later" when in fact it means (at least to me) "maybe later" with the key word being "maybe". Perhaps the problem is not the customer's mis-use of the term that causes problems but with the dancer's interpretation of the term, I certainly don't see it as anything to get upset about.

    For the record I have stopped using that term because I know dancers don't like it, it just seems silly to me that I had to do so.

    And back to the original question, yes you did the right thing by letting it be, I have a feeling that dancer won't be in the business long anyways.

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    Default Re: An Attitude Problem

    Guys hate "Wanna dance?"
    Dancers hate "Maybe later."

    Neither phrase is going to be eliminated from the stripclub lexicon anytime soon. Both are sort of necessary evils.

    I didn't have a problem with "maybe later" if it really did mean "maybe later."

    I only had a problem with it if it meant, "You're not my type and I wouldn't get a dance with you in a million years, but I'm too polite to say so. Therefore, please keep returning to my table tonight for an additional dose of rejection." It's just not necessary.

    I thought I could discern the difference between the two (the latter usually being uttered with thinly veiled condescension or a curt dismissiveness or some other indication of the customer's distaste), but I'm sure I called it wrong sometimes.

    [Oh, and while we're on the subject of hated phrases, let me just say that I got plenty of dances by walking around and uttering a cursory, "Hi, howya doin'? Wanna dance?" My point being that even these hated phrases can serve their purpose at times....]
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    Featured Member red red red's Avatar
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    Default Re: An Attitude Problem

    I notice you didn't mention anything about tipping the dancer. You probably could have averted the entire situation with a couple of singles. Those tend to make the "maybe laters" go down a bit easier.
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    Default Re: An Attitude Problem

    I used to be a "maybe later" dork until I joined SW.

    Now, I just say "no thank you and you have fun."

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    Default Re: An Attitude Problem

    Quote Originally Posted by Richard_Head
    It seems to me that the problem with the "maybe later" comment is that most dancers take it to mean "yes, definetly later" when in fact it means (at least to me) "maybe later" with the key word being "maybe". Perhaps the problem is not the customer's mis-use of the term that causes problems but with the dancer's interpretation of the term, I certainly don't see it as anything to get upset about.

    For the record I have stopped using that term because I know dancers don't like it, it just seems silly to me that I had to do so..
    I totally agree. Now I just say no. For some reason, they like that better, although to me it makes no sense at all... it is better to be rejected than to have to deal with the possibility of rejection?... hmm come to think of it, that's how I screwed up my last relationship so girls.... I understand.

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