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Thread: I should have been born a man

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    Featured Member MeganS's Avatar
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    Sad I should have been born a man

    Yeah, that's right, I should have been born a man. Hour long toilet sessions, bashing dancers/women in general (only in the privacy of my own home!) PENIS ENVY! What I wouldn't give to lay down a hot sexy mama and slide my juiced up joy stick up her hot creamy cooch..... Aaaaaaaaaaarrrgggghhhhh!!!!!!!! I WANT SOME! I want to be a man! I'd be all studly and rippling with hot sexy muscles, ignoring the broads till they all creamed their jeans for me! Whoo Hoo! Ahhh, I've had these dreams mind you, and they're quite nice! *note to self - find hot sexy bi-curious mama willing and ready!*
    "A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you."
    Francoise Sagan

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    Featured Member electric_head's Avatar
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    Default Re: I should have been born a man

    Girl you did get into the cocktails! You think it's easy being a man? PENIS ENVY We spend 9 months trying to get out then the rest of our lives trying to get back in. LMAO what is this hot creamy cooch you speak of?
    Don't make me spank you!

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: I should have been born a man

    You'd be one hot sexy female man.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Featured Member evan_essence's Avatar
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    Default Re: I should have been born a man

    Quote Originally Posted by MeganS
    Yeah, that's right, I should have been born a man. Hour long toilet sessions, bashing dancers/women in general (only in the privacy of my own home!) PENIS ENVY! What I wouldn't give to lay down a hot sexy mama and slide my juiced up joy stick up her hot creamy cooch.....
    So start saving up your money. Or perhaps find a PL willing to finance the operation.

    Megan: "Breast augmentation? Is that what you thought the money was for? That's not what I meant when I said you'd have more than a mouthful to engulf after the surgeons are done."

    -Ev

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    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: I should have been born a man

    MeganS,
    You identify so strongly with your male side, you must be one hot mama!! I hope you have lots of great sex with good people. With your attitude toward sex, you will seem so attractive and desireable that you won't need any augmentation at all. Just give the guys a little time to stand up after you sit on their laps. Unless you want them to show off your talents at exciting them.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

  6. #6
    Featured Member MeganS's Avatar
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    Default Re: I should have been born a man

    Yes, thank you, I love sex, and try to have lots of it. I keep an occassional girlfriend on the side, so maybe that's why I have penis envy. Ugh, i need some now with none available!
    "A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you."
    Francoise Sagan

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: I should have been born a man

    That's why god invented the strap-on. I got in touch with my masculine side by wearing a huge one under my skirt at Hula Hut on warm spring day, where half of Austin goes to drink and people watch....teeheehee, am I an attention-whore, nah!

    I hope I would be taller if I was a man.

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Featured Member electric_head's Avatar
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    Default Re: I should have been born a man

    I want to make sure I'm in line *behind* Katrine. LOL

    How tall would you want to be?
    Don't make me spank you!

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: I should have been born a man

    Quote Originally Posted by electric_head
    I want to make sure I'm in line *behind* Katrine. LOL

    How tall would you want to be?
    Taller than the current 5'4", but I'll keep the lack of hairiness, men in my family aren't that hairy, good thing. My bro is around 6'2-6'3 and looks like this guy, Fedor Emilianko, except more fat than muscle.

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Default Re: I should have been born a man

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine
    My bro is around 6'2-6'3 and looks like guy, Fedor Emilianko, except more fat than muscle.
    Fedor wouldn't be Fedor with more fat than muscle. BTW, have you ever seen Fedor's rough sex videos?

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    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: I should have been born a man

    Megs, I know you are having a moment and probably just pissed off at your ex or something.

    The thought of some plastic contraption bungie-strapped around your hips gives me the heebie jeebies. I'd much rather think of you as the recipient of an all natural flesh and blood penis, gently and lovingly inserted, just as god intended.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

  12. #12
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: I should have been born a man

    Quote Originally Posted by SportsWriter2
    Fedor wouldn't be Fedor with more fat than muscle. BTW, have you ever seen Fedor's rough sex videos?
    Link me, link me!!!!

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Featured Member electric_head's Avatar
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    Default Re: I should have been born a man

    I'm 6'4" and would like to be a little shorter sometimes maybe we can work something out. LOL FBR got the heebie jeebies. Just make sure your behind her Roy!
    Don't make me spank you!

  14. #14
    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: I should have been born a man

    Quote Originally Posted by electric_head
    I'm 6'4" and would like to be a little shorter sometimes maybe we can work something out. LOL FBR got the heebie jeebies. Just make sure your behind her Roy!
    EH, I'm 5'10" and wishin I had another 6 inches LOL But being of average height does allow me a better angle for penetration when Im behind without having to go through all sorts of gymnastics to get a bead on the goodies

    I was just teasing Megan. Back in the day I thought she was pure hetero. Since I'm the only guy in the known universe who doesnt get off on bi or lesbian, I was disappointed to learn that she likes to dine at the Y. I was depressed for a couple of minutes and then figured WTF its all good. The odds of me being in a situation where my opinions matter vis a vis Megs sexuality is right up there with winning the Ohio Lotto

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

  15. #15
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: I should have been born a man

    Quote Originally Posted by FBR

    I was just teasing Megan. Back in the day I thought she was pure hetero. Since I'm the only guy in the known universe who doesnt get off on bi or lesbian, I was disappointed to learn that she likes to dine at the Y.

    FBR
    So what? Just because she likes pussy doesn't mean she's going to beg you to watch or join in with her and another woman. She just has more choices on a Saturday night. Is it some religious thing or some old man thing? Only men I've met at the club that didn't think it was at least COOL were religious old man.

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

  16. #16
    Featured Member Lola Lee's Avatar
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    Default Re: I should have been born a man

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine
    Is it some religious thing or some old man thing? Only men I've met at the club that didn't think it was at least COOL were religious old man.
    WTF is a religious old man doing oogaling at strippers in the first place? Isn't this a contradiction in terms?




    "Go Confidently in the Direction of Your Dreams...Live the Life You Have Imagined" -- Henry David Thoreau

    "You Will Be Successful in Business and Married Life" -- Fortune Cookie

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    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: I should have been born a man

    I'm an amateur drag king. I really enjoy putting on my breast binder (the tri-top chest binder from Underworks), packing a thick winter sock rolled up in between two pairs of undies, and swaggering around on stage. I have short hair, but you can wear wigs.

    There are also a few packer cocks you can get, ranging from $20-100 and averaging $40-60, which will work BOTH for filling out your pants/changing your walk AND for fucking the sexy mr. or ms. you take home while all done up like so. Look on sex toy sites.

    Look up drag king tips on Google, there are some great sites. Also look up FTM passing tips, as a lot of them are similar and you'll get a lot of good advice on how to walk, how to hold your head, etc.

    Something I'm really pondering is the use of pheromones (which you can get online, I've heard chikara is the best male mix) to display my gender (whatever it is at the moment) to everyone's subconscious -- I've heard the effects are dramatic, and I imagine it'd work well to use female pheros for stripping and male for drag. It'd also fuck with people's heads, I imagine, if I dressed plainly and wore male pheromones. I'd like to walk through a suburban grocery store and watch the reactions. :-)

    Attached, picture of my alter ego.

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    Featured Member electric_head's Avatar
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    Default Re: I should have been born a man

    Religion can make people do strange things.
    Don't make me spank you!

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    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: I should have been born a man

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine
    Only men I've met at the club that didn't think it was at least COOL were religious old man.
    Kat, I have visions of visiting your club dressed as an old Russian Orthodox priest. The game is for you to determine whether the obvious huge bulge down in the lower regions of my vestments is a fat tip roll ready for you to devour or if I'm just damn glad to see you

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Veteran Member merely_lurking's Avatar
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    Default Re: I should have been born a man

    Fuck all this wanna be a man nonsense, Megan! You're a hottie, you need to revel in that shit.... I'd totally lick your ass out if I had the chance..... If you we're a man, you'd be a big fat slob sitting at your computer jerking your sausage to internet porn.... You don't wan't that shit.......
    A fat chick is like a big, warm, comfortable pillow that you can also have sex with....

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    Default Re: I should have been born a man

    Quote Originally Posted by merely_lurking
    I'd totally lick your ass out if I had the chance...
    Oh yeah, right in the tub.

  22. #22
    Featured Member MeganS's Avatar
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    Default Re: I should have been born a man

    Now hold on! No strap ons for me- that's why I have penis envy! I wish I had the flesh and blood of it to experience it from the other side! Also, as far as the "lesbian" thing goes, my girlfriend only relationships were (and always) kept private from public eyes. I don't do it for display purposes - my pleasure only! And actually FBR, the girl I brought down to Ohio with me... well, we became lovers for awhile starting with Ohio, well into Wisconsin! If you were to ever venture out to the Travelodge by the airport, the lawn across from the back rooms was our after hours playground! Almost lost my boots!
    "A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you."
    Francoise Sagan

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    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: I should have been born a man

    Believe it or not, you can actually get sensations from a strap-on if you visualize that it's your real dick.

    But that part's up to you. :-)

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    Featured Member electric_head's Avatar
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    Default Re: I should have been born a man

    I keep looking at Megans avatar wondering what it would look like with her wood poking up out of the bubbles.
    Don't make me spank you!

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    Veteran Member funtasticFerra's Avatar
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    Default Re: I should have been born a man

    Shoot megan I'd let you do me lol! I'd love to have sex with a woman, i've never gotten to do it and i've always wondered what it is like. I too have wanted to know what it's like from the guys side. Although, if you'd like to wear a strap-on i'm game lol!
    "When life gets rough turn up the music and dance a little"

    I Train Mixed Martial Arts!

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