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Thread: depression...it killed my sex life

  1. #1
    Veteran Member Heaven777's Avatar
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    Angry depression...it killed my sex life

    Argh...

    Long story short. There have been a lot of things bugging me lately. I have recieved bad news, found out that a friend was a loser and dumped her, got hurt at work and a bunch of other crap...

    I have NO sexual desire. My husband is sexy and he is GREAT in bed. Here recently, I don't even want him to kiss me on he lips, I immediately think "OH NO. He wants sex" then, I get moody and pissy.

    I don't know what to do...I feel lonely and ashamed that I can't give myself to my husband. I have thought about just doing it...but then it won't be genuine desire...what would be the point of that?

    I feel like I am having Defcon 10 P.M.S. And it won't go away...
    If everything you try is a sure thing, you aren't taking enough risks. If you never fail, you put a limit on the degree to which you can succeed. In short, the only way to win big is to risk losing

  2. #2
    Cally
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    Default Re: depression...it killed my sex life

    A major side effect of depression is a lose in sex drive. You need to explain to him that your just going through a hard time and you dont really feel very sexual. Explain it has nothing to do with him its just you. I know its an overused line but he will hopefully know its genuine. Dont do it because you feel you have to... sex is about love when your with your S/O.
    Your next step. Talk to a doctor. You might need to just talk to a councouler or something to help you work through it. Worse case... you go on a slight anti depressent for a short time to help you with things. Dont feel bad about it... it happens to most people.
    But your biggest thing is talking to your hubby dont leave him in the dark on your feelings. Talking things out can really help.

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    Veteran Member Heaven777's Avatar
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    Default Re: depression...it killed my sex life

    He is great about talking! I LOOOOVE that about him, he can be the best therapist sometimes!

    I was considering an antidepressant actually...the last time I took anything like that (paxil) it made me robotic...weird. I'll definitely try a different one if I go on meds again...
    If everything you try is a sure thing, you aren't taking enough risks. If you never fail, you put a limit on the degree to which you can succeed. In short, the only way to win big is to risk losing

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    Member TeethOfTheHydra's Avatar
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    Default Re: depression...it killed my sex life

    Paxil, as it turns out, might be banned by the FDA. I forget exactly what the problem with it is, but I know that it hasn't been terribly well-received or well-tolerated. That said, you could look into another med.

    Depression and sex are like oil and water: they just don't mix & it's a sad fact. Depression so often kills your sex drive, and every major antidepressant lists sexual side effects, with the exception of Wellbutrin (but if you have anxiety too, Wellbutrin probably isn't for you, as it's kind of speedy and tends to cause mild tremors and nervousness).

    I've struggled with depression on and off for years, have been on several meds and in and out of therapy. It's been very hard on my relationships and my life in general. Depression feels to me like an allergy to life... I'm slowly learning all the various and sundry things that trigger and exacerbate it, what I have to stay away from, what I can do to make myself feel better. It's terribly annoying, more than anything. Anyway, I'm here for you, if you want to vent.

  5. #5
    Cally
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    Default Re: depression...it killed my sex life

    My doctor put me on paxil a few years ago and I hated it it made me feel robotic as well. There was another one I was put on I think it was called Effexor or something like that and it wasnt to much. Talk to your doctor tell him/her that paxil didnt feel right and they will try and find something else.

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