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Thread: What do you tell Family and Friends about what you do?

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    Senior Member Vixen608's Avatar
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    What do you tell Family and Friends about what you do?

    You know I have been really curious about what many of you tell your family and friends? I come from a very conservative family, and am not sure what I would tell them I do. So I want to get some input from all you ladies out there? Are you truthful or do you tell a white lie?

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    Senior Member samanthamx's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you tell Family and Friends about what you do?

    My brother knows (he is married), he saw me dancing last week and he asked me "what are you doing in here?", I told him that I could ask him the same question; so we're keeping each other's secrets.

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    God/dess KamrynAnne's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you tell Family and Friends about what you do?

    be very very careful if you're going to lie......... i tried that and i got caught way too many times.... if you decide to lie, u can always say you bartend or cocktail.. it all depends on if your friends or family had suspicions that you were dancing.... the chances of you being caught in a small town rather a big city are a lot greater..... really sit down and weigh out your options.... i would try to drive to work at a club a littler further away, that way you wouldn't run in to people u dont want to see.... Believe me, i've done my fair share of lying... if its the last thing you do, don't ever let your parents find out.... you said they were very christian conservative people... well, my parents are very very strict catholic people.. they tried to enter me in rehab for being a dancer.... what would my diagnosis be??? stripperitis??? so yeah just be very very careful if the family finding out is a big issue for you... good luck and pm me if you have any more questions..

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    Veteran Member Phedre's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you tell Family and Friends about what you do?

    My family was actually pretty supportive. My mom has a catholic background, Dad is Lutheran. I have always been a really flirty sexual person so they weren't surprised when I said I was picking it up as a weekend job. My mom even went to a club with my girl-friend & I to watch. She loves the Moulin in Missoula, she thought we should hook up with the hot bouncers there! My sister is the only one who HATES it, she hates dancers in general tho so I don't let it get to me. She just doesn't bring it up unless she gets drunk and wants me to show her some moves to use on her fiance'.
    So I guess in your case, I wouldn't tell your family if you already know it'll be an issue. Tell them you are bartending or cocktailing if you are comfortable with that. I wouldn't make up any other lies tho because then you have to find ways to stick to your story. It makes you feel dirty about what you are doing and will hinder your performance.
    Phedre
    ~ my very own pole dancer!

  6. #5
    Miss. Kristina Lee
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    Default Re: What do you tell Family and Friends about what you do?

    i hid it from my family the first year, then i told them. they didnt talk to me for a week, and then they didnt care. iactually showed my mom videos of pole tricks, and she was pretty impressed.

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    Senior Member samanthamx's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you tell Family and Friends about what you do?

    At home, my parents do not know; my bro knows it (as previously I told) and my little sis knows it too, and she's very supportive too, not enough for trying it by herself, but she's reliable

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    Featured Member rusdancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you tell Family and Friends about what you do?

    My family is extremely conservative,so it was a secret for a while.Besides,even if I tried to explain they wouldn't understand the whole concept of the business,they would just go by stereotypes.Then I revealed,and they didn't like it,but accepted it and later supported,even though untill this very day I never discuss any details about the job.Sometimes though when we have an arguement my mother who is the most old fashioned and conservative would throw it in my face trying to hurt my feelings,but it doesn't,because she really has no idea what it really is.

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    Curious Guest
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    Default Re: What do you tell Family and Friends about what you do?

    All of my family know. My father has even come to see me perform. I'm an adult; it doesn't really bother me what they might think of it. I am slightly more nervous what former colleagues might think even tho they have been highly respectful, in case it comes back to haunt me down the road. I don't think it will, but you never know.

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    Veteran Member Phedre's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you tell Family and Friends about what you do?

    Lisa,
    You have to remember to use the hard shell you use when customers are assholes or degrading. If you justify your new job by saying, why wouldn't I want to dance, the money is awesome, I look better than I ever have, I enjoy putting on a show, I have some sexy new clothes, it allows me to express my sexuality without sleeping with pricks like you, etc. then it doesn't leave them with much ammo. Be confident in your decision to be a EROTIC ENTERTAINER. I know it seems hard somedays after dealing with people that may make you feel degraded, but those are the days that you have to have some confidence in what kind of service a dancer provides and DOESN'T provide.
    Phedre
    ~ my very own pole dancer!

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    Veteran Member candygrrl's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you tell Family and Friends about what you do?

    Nobody knows. Most of my close friends know and that's it. Not my boyfriend, not my sister, not my parents. My sister and mom kind of suspected it but then they realized i can't dance so it couldn't be true. What do they know, apparently I am a decent dancer if I'm getting paid lots of money do it. I'm not ashamed of my job, it is just that it is temporary for me. I'll be done with school in June and then working towards a doctorate so I can get an even better paying job. I don't want to be stigmatized as a stripper. We all know what misconcieved notions people have about it and I'd rather not deal with it.

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    Senior Member Lexy9804's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you tell Family and Friends about what you do?

    I'm a very upfront and honest about what I do...I'm not ashamed of who I am or what I do. Mom always has a weird question about something she heard or read about dancers. No we aren't all drug addicts, and no i we don't all do extras. My family pretty much accepts it now, although they weren't happy to begin with. I guess nobody wants to think of their only daughter getting naked for money(thats just how moms and dads look at it)!!!
    "The body is meant to be seen, not all covered up."
    ~Marilyn Monroe

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    Senior Member Lunetta's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you tell Family and Friends about what you do?

    My family is very conservative too.
    They think I do hostessing job around the world. Recently I even came back to live with them because I want to travel more, this way I can chil out when I'm here and I never pay the rent .
    I always go far away, I would never dance here close by where they or friends of them could meet me, even if there are many clubs in this area.
    When I'm here I hide my dancing staff by friends to be sure they will not find it.
    My sister knows because I was dancing on a party on New Year's Eve and she danced too, but everytime she's angry to me she keep telling me she will say to my mom I dance and I obbliged her to dance ... so be careful to who you say it... sometimes you can not trust even your sister.

    Luna

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    Featured Member greggy's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you tell Family and Friends about what you do?

    I told my mom i'm a go-go dancer at a regular nightclub and she was pissed! I was like, "Mommy! Go-Go dancers don't don't take their clothes off" and she was just like, "I don't care, there's a very fine line there!"... I'm sure she knows the full truth and just doesn't want to talk about it... my older sister and ex stepbrother know... my boyfriend's family knows too... to everyone else, I'm a waitress

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you tell Family and Friends about what you do?

    Everyone whom I'm close to knows I dance. If strangers get nosey I will usually just say I'm in Multi level marketing for a company called Quickstar, who used to be known as Amway. Aquaintences will never ask me again what what I do .

    Or I may just say I'm a full time ebay merchant making my money at home.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you tell Family and Friends about what you do?

    Mine know and had known. My dad found out by being a customer in the many of hundreds of clubs in the L.A. area and chose the one I was working in, and thus, told my mom (I was 18 at the time)... they hated it, my grandparents knew, my friends knew, and I just didn't really care what they thought.. they weren't and aren't me...

    My dad was truly the only one who was supportive of me and is the only one now, that I am close to.


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    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you tell Family and Friends about what you do?

    I'm not yet a stripper, but I do erotic modeling and I'm trying to break into stripping.

    I don't want anyone for a close friend who can't cope with me, and that includes the whole package. I live a very open life with everyone I give half a damn about. I'm openly bi, openly genderqueer, and openly living in a poly marriage, and that's public to just about anyone. I'd only ever keep that private in, say, a temp office job situation, and I'm sure as hell not going to take a permanent office job again, unless it's really, really cushy.

    The sex-work stuff is only public to close people. My parents know that I've modeled nude. I won't tell them I'm stripping until I've been doing it for months and am still making obvious progress on my master's degree. :-) Right about when I'd otherwise be asking them for money again, actually (assuming I start soon) -- which I'm sure will help with the impact. The people at my school won't get told, though they know a lot about me.

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    Senior Member Vixen608's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you tell Family and Friends about what you do?

    Thanks for giving me some inisight I totally appreciate it! I am really having troubles with this issue!

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    God/dess PleasureVictim's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you tell Family and Friends about what you do?

    I've done go-go dancing in nightclubs so my friends won't be surprised at all when I finally take that next step into the stripclub. A few of them joke about joining me.

    My parents know I'm pretty wild so they won't be surprised. Would I tell them? Maybe or maybe I won't. I'm a mother, so that's their biggest concern, setting an example. If I didn't have a kid I doubt they would let it bother them.

    I'm in the middle of a divorce, so I'm certainly keeping that away from my husband. He knows I've always wanted to strip- but I won't tell him I'm going to do it.

    I don't want it brought up in court in case there is a custody problem. I doubt there will be, but better safe than sorry.

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    Member AussieMiranda's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you tell Family and Friends about what you do?

    I am upfront with friends but tell my family thatI work in a bar. Its kinda true...we serve alcohol there...its just that I'm standing on the other side of the bar, not the serving side. My parents sorta know though...there not stupid I guess!

    I live in a city but everyone knows everyone here it seems so when I started dancing, word got around within a couple weeks and so I had everyone that I had ever met i my life come through the door.

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    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you tell Family and Friends about what you do?

    Well at first I told my family that I worked at Albertson's as a night shift cashier. However I made the mistake of telling my sister the truth. Bad idea. Anyway, every in my family now knows the truth. Like many of the other posters my family is conservative and extremely judgemental. But I realized that ultimately its my life and the way I chose to live it is for me to decide.
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
    Maya Angelou


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    Default Re: What do you tell Family and Friends about what you do?

    I quit dancing at age 40; however, most people among my family and friends knew. Before I quit, my brother, my 21-year-old son, my landlord, and numerous friends had all see me strip. I did it for long enough that I simply wasn't embarrassed. Now I am an adult host on ifriends and, again, most people I know know about it. It doesn't really bother me. I just tell them to be anonymous if they come to my room on ifriends since it could get me in trouble otherwise.

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    Senior Member Heaven's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you tell Family and Friends about what you do?

    When I lived out of state I tried using the "I'm just cocktailing/bartending". But when my parents came out to visit me they figured it out. When I moved back out to Cali I took a break for about 8 mo. but now I'm broke and ready to head back to the club. I tried to get my mom's approval (since she'd probably find out) but she said no because it's "morally wrong". I thought that since I'm an adult she'd appreciate and/or respect my honesty, but I was WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. I hate to have to resort to high school tatics i.e. telling fibs, sneaking around, creating alibis - but I guess it's my only option. It sucks cuz either way I'm hurting/disappointing/embarassing? my mom. <<sigh>>

    Anywayz, since I'm in school full-time, this is one of the only good paying jobs with hours that are flexible enough. And besides that - I LOVE DANCING!! So I guess a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. I just hope she doesn't disown me.
    Last edited by Heaven; 10-16-2005 at 07:57 PM.
    Perception is Reality

  24. #23
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: What do you tell Family and Friends about what you do?

    "I'm a grown-ass adult. NO one else will pay for my schooling or expenses. I will not depend on a man. If you don't like it too bad. Take it up with God for making me so hot. ; P"

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    Veteran Member Natalia108's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you tell Family and Friends about what you do?

    my whole family knows and are very supportive of it.. my nanna has even came too see me do a comp and has even made and fixed outfits and stuff for me .. alothough they dont agree with it they still give me all the support that i need ..

    i couldnt do this job without them knowing and lieing too them all the time altho there are a few that i knw that dont tell there family straight up ..

    im an adult and make my own choices for my life .. if they dont agree with it then its their problem...

    they are still going too love me for who i am not what i do and they will always b my family in the end !

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    Senior Member Heaven's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you tell Family and Friends about what you do?

    Quote Originally Posted by madmaxine
    "I'm a grown-ass adult. NO one else will pay for my schooling or expenses. I will not depend on a man. If you don't like it too bad. Take it up with God for making me so hot. ; P"
    LOL. You go girl!!
    Perception is Reality

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