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Thread: I want a little girl!

  1. #1
    tampafldancer
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    Default I want a little girl!

    Someone who has little kids, please talk me out of this!

    Lately i have seen all these cute beautiful little girls and I think im ready to have one of my own. It wouldn't be the best move because I am still in school but i am financially set to have one without a problem so i could provide a good life.


    But anyway.. Im looking for imput... good or bad really.

    What do your chrildren mean to you? How do they put a smile to your face everyday?

    And then the other part...... Any negative things? I couldn't really think of anything negative myself though.

  2. #2
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: I want a little girl!

    btw.. im 23 in college... And yes if i were to have kids i would have it with a good father that would be there. Either way though, the kid (boy or girl) would have a really really good life.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: I want a little girl!

    I don't have kiddos, but I am picking to wait for a while before I think about it. I have 2 members of my family (one 17, the other 22) that are both struggling as single moms, and I don't want to have to go through any hardships like that (not that I would be a single mom, but I don't want to have to rely on MY mom to help me all the time with my kid).

    I want to finish college, let Mox finish college, get Mox's car paid off, buy a house, and make sure we're financially secure before we even think about brining a baby into the world. I also want to make sure that I get to be a stay at home mom until my baby goes to school (at least)- I feel like I would be cheating myself otherwise (and this is NO offense to the working mothers out there! I TOTALLY respect you and understand why you work, but I want to stay home if I have kids because it seems like the best thing for me to do personally).

    I think it's all about considering where you are right now. Are you physhically/emotionally/financially ready to have a baby? Just make sure you think about it long and hard before you go any further!

    As for me, I just visit my cousins kiddos and get spit on, hit, and called "goggie" (doggie). It's so worth it, though, and like I said in another post- it helps to supress those "mommy-ish" urges.

    Good luck with whatever you do, though!
    Last edited by Deni; 10-16-2005 at 04:58 PM.

  4. #4
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: I want a little girl!

    Wait a little while and find a good man. I want sons very badly but I'm waiting until I can do it on my own since I don't trust men. Everytime I see kids I feel sad, but I have faith in God things will happen in their own good time.
    Do you have any younger relatives you can babysit to get the feel for dealing with kids? I have plenty of neices and nephews to practice on LOL.

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    Default Re: I want a little girl!

    Hey, I've actually been debating this issue myself.

    One rather unpleasant aspect to consider is that you never know how your body will look after a pregnancy. I've seen women with lots and lots of irreparable stretch marks all over their body from having just one kid.

    If you don't plan on dancing post pregnacy or if you don't mind the idea that your earnings *might* be somewhat affected post-pregnancy, that is one less concern.

    I am 25 but have a couple years of dancing to do before I can move on to a job that doesn't hinge on my physical attributes, so I don't think it's a good option for me but if you are almost done with dancing or don't mind the fact that your earnings might take a major hit, then I envy you....wish I was in that position right now.

  6. #6
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want a little girl!

    Darlin, as much as I think you should have everything you want, consider this:

    you could have a boy.

    Then you'd be screwed.

    Now there's food for thought.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  7. #7
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want a little girl!

    I want little kids. I am sad when I am around my brothers. Don't wait to long or the choice will be made for you.

  8. #8
    Featured Member tampadancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want a little girl!

    no! NOOOO! NO BABIES YET ELLE!

    finish school, get married, then have your little girl.

    there are ways to select the gender of your child now.

  9. #9
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: I want a little girl!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny
    Darlin, as much as I think you should have everything you want, consider this:

    you could have a boy.

    Then you'd be screwed.

    Now there's food for thought.

    LMFAO.. i was waiting for that comment. I would be just as happy with a biy though.

  10. #10
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: I want a little girl!

    Quote Originally Posted by pinky
    Hey, I've actually been debating this issue myself.

    One rather unpleasant aspect to consider is that you never know how your body will look after a pregnancy. I've seen women with lots and lots of irreparable stretch marks all over their body from having just one kid.

    If you don't plan on dancing post pregnacy or if you don't mind the idea that your earnings *might* be somewhat affected post-pregnancy, that is one less concern.

    I am 25 but have a couple years of dancing to do before I can move on to a job that doesn't hinge on my physical attributes, so I don't think it's a good option for me but if you are almost done with dancing or don't mind the fact that your earnings might take a major hit, then I envy you....wish I was in that position right now.
    Yea.. I am almost done with dancing. If i had a kid i would be gone forever.

  11. #11
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want a little girl!

    The fact that you're asking these questions speaks volumes towards you're personality and general care for that of other people. It also shows you're smart enough to know you need to be talked out of it.

    You're finacally set. Congrats, your light years ahead of 50% of the population.

    I am not even sure I am ready to have kids, and I don't know when I will, but I have already set up money market funds for their college and just them really <2>. my father always told me parenting starts before conception.

    Th e next thing I would ask, is to take a step back and realize that though they are bundles of joy, they are bundles of work. Ask any mother who was surprised by a baby. Not a single one of them regrets the child I hope, but I know a lot who wish they where better prepared.

    The third and final is to look at you. You're 23, are you really ready for everything a child brings with it? I mean the late nights, the early mornings, the lack of a job <which is good that you can go without> the stifled social life, the earthquaking change of priorities in your life? I mean I am 100% sure you know all this stuff, but are you READY for it. Think about it next time you and your boyfriend and you are out having the evening of your life. It's long before that comes up.

    I've chatted with you, and I know you're good people. Whatever you chose, I am 100% sure you'll be prepared.

    ::Mast::
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  12. #12
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want a little girl!

    Heh, my dad also said "When you have a boy, you have one little pecker to worry about. When you have a girl, you have all the little peckers to worry about"
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  13. #13
    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want a little girl!

    Elle, if you want to take this to PMs, I'd be glad to share more with you, but let me say this...

    1-You're 23, you have a LOT of time to have kids.
    2-Finish school. Once you have kids, it will be VERY hard to do so. Kids deserve as much attention as you can give them, and distractions that can be removed before having them should be removed.
    3-Don't have a child for selfish reasons. A child is a person with needs and wants and all sorts of things that you don't anticipate. Make sure you're doing it for the right reasons and not because you want something to love you or for some other reason (not saying you want this, just saying...).
    4-Again, you're young and in your prime. A child will be an emotional, physical, and mental weight and a a HUGE time sink. Enjoy your youth, do fun stuff, sew your wild oats...you only get one time in your life when you're young.
    5-When you do this, please be married to a good man with a good job and make sure you are COMMITTED to the marriage. And don't have kids right away. Wait a year or two at least before you do it.

    I could go on and on, and like I said, if you want to go into PMs, I'll do it. This is not a simple decision and it involves more than just you...so think really carefully about it...ok?

  14. #14
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    Default Re: I want a little girl!

    Very small piece of advice: some things are worth waiting for and good things come in due time.

    When you finally decide to have babies itll come along at a point where it is right in your life. May not be perfect since Ive heard parents say you are never fully prepared for kids. Ive also heard parents say that kids no matter what you have ready change your life in ways you never imagined.

    Just make sure to take good care of yourself in all ways possible so when you do decide one way or the other youll have a healthy baby and a healthy pregnancy. Just like other posters have said to wait and there are a plethora of reasons to have kids or not. I will say that just get everything in line first school, life, emotions etc. then you wont be stressed to do things in life. You will have lived most of your 'wild' life and can give the time to give to your kid(s).

    Whatever you decide in the near or far way future best of luck to ya!
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    Veteran Member Jenna78's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want a little girl!

    Have you ever worked in an overcrowded daycare? Have you ever taught high school special ed? Have you ever been solely reponsible for a child or children for more that a couple of days? I have done all of this and each experience made me relaize that kids are not for me! Jenna

  16. #16
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want a little girl!

    If you wait for everything to be just right - you will never have a kid. I would finish school - though with all the outsourcing that goes on your degree might not mean shit anyway.

  17. #17
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want a little girl!

    Quote Originally Posted by tampafldancer
    Someone who has little kids, please talk me out of this!

    Lately i have seen all these cute beautiful little girls and I think im ready to have one of my own. It wouldn't be the best move because I am still in school but i am financially set to have one without a problem so i could provide a good life.

    But anyway.. Im looking for imput... good or bad really.

    What do your chrildren mean to you? How do they put a smile to your face everyday?

    And then the other part...... Any negative things? I couldn't really think of anything negative myself though.
    K.. I thought I'd check in with this, seeing as I have 3 dahling children myself.

    I won't tell you that you're too young--Hell, I was 16 (AND ALREADY MARRIED, before anyone says "Shotgun Wedding!") when I got pregnant with my son. I was 17 when I had him. Two years later, our daughter came along. But, I do suggest strongly that you finish school, and get some kind of savings going on. Be in a really good job using the skills you went to school for, that offers maternity leave of course, for when the time comes. I think the biggest thing I regret, was not actually getting my high school diploma. I quit school twice in 10th grade. First time, was to help my Grandmother take care of my Mother. Second, was to get married. I didn't have a chance to even think about getting my GED until 1996. I got it though. Of course, that had nothing to do with my kids though, that was the whole marriage thing. Just make sure that you will be able to support yourself, and a child, on your own. If you have a SO that sticks around, that's great. But do not depend on them for everything. Always have a little savings if things don't work out.

    I know that you want a little girl desperately. I did too, the first time. Didn't work out so well, when I had the ultrasound and found that the baby had a weenis. Of course, I loved him all the same, but I really wanted a girl. I did get my 2 girls (one with ex, one with Hubby now). So just make sure that you'll be able to handle it if the baby has a weenis. There's no guarantee that you'll have a girl.

    Number one rule about having children... You MUST be SELFLESS. You sacrifice for your kids. If you get sick, you can't take a day out from Motherhood. You can't sleep in. Your house will not be perfect. Expect stained rugs, little fingerprints everywhere, and more messes than you can keep track of. Life stops being about you when you become a Mom. You now have a great responsibility, and the toughest yet most rewarding job that you'll ever hold.

    My kids are everything to me. Just the thought of them makes me smile every day. My oldest two live with their father and visit when they can, but believe me, all I have to do is think of them, and they're here with me. Before I had kids, I'd wake up and drag myself around the house to start my day. Since the kids, I spring out of bed, stumble to the kitchen to turn the coffee on, get them changed and fed, and I don't stop moving until they go to bed. But, I love it. Don't get me wrong.. There will be times where you are pulling your hair out, and you want to just scream. But all it takes is for your child to come up to you, throw their arms around your legs, and say "Love you Mommy". That makes every single thing worth it. And watching them accomplish things (like walking, talking, learning to count, drawing, riding a bike, etc.) will melt your heart and make you wonder how you survived before you had that child.

    For me, it makes me smile watching them grow up to be the perfect little people that they are, and knowing that I had a hand in it all.

    I'm not going to discourage you from having children. Just make sure that you are settled, and that you are ready to put all you have into your child. Like I said.. It stops being about you, and it's all about your children.


  18. #18
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want a little girl!

    Another thing I want to throw in here.. Choose the father carefully. It will be someone that you will have to deal with until probably forever, an unending bond pretty much.

    I got lucky both times.

  19. #19
    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want a little girl!

    I may get some shit for this...but I get the impression that "the father" is not the same as "the husband" for some of you. Shouldn't it be that way?

  20. #20
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want a little girl!

    As I stated, both of my were indeed husbands.

    Unfortunately though, for many, it doesn't turn out that way. Which is why I want her (and anyone considering having a child) to make sure they're good ones.

  21. #21
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: I want a little girl!

    Life never turns out the way you expect. Keep that in mind.
    IMHO, you need to pick a good man to be the father whether you marry him or not. Any shmuck can spit sperm out of his d*ck but it takes a real man to be a father. I was lucky in that my dad is the Man (whereas my mom was a nightmare.) Anyway, your mission in life is to secure the best provider for your children. That is a female's biological programming.

  22. #22
    Banned All Good Things's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want a little girl!

    TFD, do you have any idea how stunningly beautiful your little girl will be? If Helen of Troy had a face that could launch a thousand warships, your own fabulously beautiful face could launch the entire nuclear arsenal of a superpower.

    Yeah, I know, that's a strange thing to say, but my jaw still hurts from when it hit my desk with a resounding "thud" the day you posted your face pic.

    OK. So. You will love your child far more, incomparably more, insanely more, than anybody or anything else you have ever loved in your entire life. You will love your child even more than you are even capable of imagining loving something.

    What comes as a surprise is that children not only take all your time and energy, they take time and energy you never even knew you had. Every single other thing in your life gets pushed back, far back, into the background. Every single other thing in your life becomes either of secondary importance, or of no importance at all.

    That's a lot to ask if you are still in school or have other obligations. The intense focus and commitment children require necessarily means everything else gets put on hold.

  23. #23
    Senior Member FL Dancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want a little girl!

    No offense but this sounds a little bit like "oooh, I so want a puppy" to me. Like you want something cute to play with and dress up.

    Women have kids in their 40's these days so please, WAIT. !

    What's the rush ?

    You haven't even finished school yet ! Live a little more and learn some more about life before bringing another humanbeing into this world.

    I promise waiting will make you a better parent in the long run because you will have more experiences to draw from and teach your child.

    In the meantime, maybe get a puppy

  24. #24
    Veteran Member charlygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want a little girl!

    Go and te a look at one of those moms online forums out there for more info on what it means to have kids. I dont have any yet but Im the babysitting queen (sometimes 4 under 5's all up in my house). Some days my place has looked like a nursery and I tell you, ALL kids are amazing. They start out like these empty little playthings that you can fill with all this knowledge. Just the tiniest thing you say and do for them affect their whole lives and its SO amazing.
    Some little girls are more masculine and some boys are more gentle traits too. All kids are different.

  25. #25
    Member calieen's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want a little girl!

    Every time I have a "want to be a mommy" urge, I just babysit one of my friend's kids for a day or two. It supresses the urge for months.

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