Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: Old friend wants friendship again

  1. #1
    Veteran Member Phedre's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Montana
    Posts
    734
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Old friend wants friendship again

    I just would like some advice on this one.

    One of my closest friends decided that she would rather be with her abusive bf about 6 months ago and he regulated who she could see and I was one of the ones she couldn't see because we danced together and he thinks that made us whores together or some shit.

    Well now she is calling me again, she says she is done with him. Well she has said this before and went back and I just can't support her and not acknowledge that she might do it again. I miss her so much and when she stopped dancing to be with him she changed a lot. I mean she was not allowed to work because he thought she would meet guys at her work and start sleeping around on him. Although she met him at the SC. He is PYSCHOTIC. She wants to be friends still and has asked me if I will try to be supportive and not let her go back to him. But I did this before and she ditched me for him.

    Obviously I am not going to just forget about all the horrible things that I went thru with her before when she was fucked up on drugs and decided to stay with him. I just want my friend back. What should I do?
    Phedre
    ~ my very own pole dancer!

  2. #2
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Hurricane Wasteland,Louisiana
    Posts
    8,088
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 23 Times in 19 Posts

    Default Re: Old friend wants friendship again

    Have a platonic relationship with her for a little while at first so you can make sure she has put herself in a better situation,permanently.If you really care about her,be her friend.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  3. #3
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Home
    Posts
    13,598
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 28 Times in 23 Posts

    Default Re: Old friend wants friendship again

    You know...if you want your old friend back...I would say give her a chance. However, I would make it very clear that what she did hurt you. I would also tell her that if she goes back to this assclown (compliments of Mr Hyde...LOL) then that will effectively and permanently end your friendship. Maybe both of you could join some kind of "self improvement" courses. She needs a self-respect and image booster (I think we all could). Get involved in things that will keep you preoccupied, but that does things for others, as well. Working for a women's shelter may help shine the light in her eyes that men who do what her ex does sends women like her to shelters 10-15 years later.

    I've been there, done that. It's not fun...but YOU have to put the rules down and YOU have to set the boundaries. And you cannot back down from that at all. I lost a friend for the same thing...we became friends again and she went back to the jerk...wanted the friendship again...and then went back. When she wanted to be friends again...she found that I had changed my cell phone number and moved out of state...without telling her. She managed to track me down and give me a big sob story...but I never, ever looked back. I'm not a "rebound friend" and being friends with her made me feel that's all I was. So, that ended that.

    Take care of yourself first. That's the most important thing here.

  4. #4
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Temporary Lurkmode...
    Posts
    12,609
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 79 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: Old friend wants friendship again

    Agreed. Give her at least one last chance. Its hard in those types of relationships. Maybe she thinks she cant get better so she just stays with this psycho loser?

    Do what you can with her and for her. Its not your job to do this but being a good friend would do this. Get her out of the house to experience life (pref. w/o the guy) having fun, enjoying simple things. Maybe shell see what life should be like w/o him. In other words life should be enjoyable.

    You can only do so much though. She has to know what its been like for you watching her do this over and over. Damaging herself with drugs and bad bfs. Love is def. not letting your SO stay on drugs.

    I was in a similar situation and I havent spoken to her in almost 2 years. I ended our 14yr friendship b/c she always chose the bf over me. Blew me off constantly and lie to me about being busy when she was just hanging out with him.
    Have your boundries and keep in sight of what you would like to happen with your friendship with her. Just dont get taken advantage of.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



Similar Threads

  1. when your friend has a baby - women and friendship
    By jaizaine in forum Life Support
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 03-28-2010, 06:00 AM
  2. Replies: 8
    Last Post: 07-04-2009, 06:53 PM
  3. Toxic Friendship.
    By PrincessShea in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 11-28-2007, 11:41 AM
  4. Friendship Frustration
    By IrRegular in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 06-11-2005, 01:48 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •