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Thread: roommate probs - help!

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    Veteran Member Jillian's Avatar
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    Default roommate probs - help!

    Ok, so I'm at a loss for what to do, I really need advice, please help.
    Sorry, this is kind of long.

    To start off with, I'm generally a good girl. I get good grades, I don't drink anymore, I've never used any drugs (by choice), I used to dance, but at least that's legal, right?

    So my roommate loves her weed. She's been high for the past 4 days straight. She started off smoking in her room, the smell irritated me, but I got over it. The following night she was in the living room. This really irritated me because now I became a prisoner in my room. I had to keep the door shut, but smoke still seeped in. Next night, she was in the living room again, but I had a friend coming over to watch a movie. So...an hour before it was supposed to start we told her that we wanted to watch a movie. She said she was having people over to watch tv so no. I calmly pointed out that, she had a tv in her room and I didn't, and that I paid for the one in the living room, so I would like to use it. She gave in then, but rearranged the kitchen to push my buttons. She hung ugly, jagged peices of fabric up all over the kitchen, moved my aquarium, etc. Last night she was back to smoking in her room, because I had friends over in the living room.

    Last night while in class, she im'd me and said that I am very rude, and could she use the living room that night. I said I was having friends over. She continued to tell me how unreasonable I am.

    Ok, so at the beginning of the school year I had a cat. She knew about it from the start, she'd had cats before, she knew what they were about. She kept raising arguments about it, so I was waiting til things smoothed out before I went and paid the pet deposit, because I didn't want to waste the money if she was going to make me get rid of it anyways. Her main argument was that she was allergic to it, and that it was illegal. Now, I don't know about you guys, but I'd much rather be caught with a CAT then mass amounts of marijuana. So I said the exact same thing to her. It was illegal, and I'm allergic. She once again says I'm being unreasonable because I would consider "narcing on her"...mmk. On our lease it says no illegal substances,drugs, so pretty much if she's caught, I am now in violation of the lease too. I am a sad excuse for a human being, she says, because I would even consider getting her in trouble. (she made me give up my cat - I loved it )

    I'm really afraid that she is going to plant some in my room or something and get me in trouble, she's very sneaky. I don't know what to do. My throat and nose are killing me, I always smell like pot, I hate it. What should I do?

    Can I file a police report with out getting her arrested, so that if she does plant something there is already something on the books?

    Please help

    Jill

    p.s. She knows that I used to dance. When we were friends I told her that in confidentiality, now she tells everyone she can about it, talks about it loudly, and uses all the stereotypes against me. Like she is putting me at risk, she says I put her at risk because a "scarry stripper stalkers" might mistake her for me...(ok...she weighs like 50lbs more than me because of the constant munchies). Anyways she likes to use this for amunition against me...something else to keep in mind.

    If she tries to ruin my career in the future I will hit her with a defamation suit so fast her head will spin.


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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: roommate probs - help!

    Bullshit! You and her need to sit down and have a talk now! When is your lease up? How long have you guys been living together?

    She sounds like an ABSOLUTE hater, and she needs to get put in her place. If smoke bothers you that much (it bothers me too, and I don't smoke either) you need to tell her to not smoke AT ALL in your house. What the hell she gonna do, tell the landlord?? lol..oh please. I would so get in that girls A#$ for you honey!

    And to answer your question, if you let your landlord know about the weed, and not he comes in and see it, then I think he will hold your honesty into account. But you need to get that wench outta there. She sounds like trouble, and humph I dont' like her! ;o (







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    Veteran Member sunkissedbeachbunni's Avatar
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    Default Re: roommate probs - help!

    Damn kick that bitch out! Or get your own apartment, she doesn't sound worth your trouble. Keep us posted.

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    Member fl1rtyg1rl's Avatar
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    Default Re: roommate probs - help!

    WOW! I really feel for you, pretty much the same exact thing happened to me with my first roommate. Like you said, I almost felt like a prisoner in my own room sometimes and whenever my friends would come over it just seemed very awkward.
    I just basically put up with it until our lease ran out, and just kept my distance from her. Most of the time I just tried to spend time outside the apartment, at friends places, library, etc.
    But I know what you're going through, I would wake up coughing (even though I dont smoke), my clothes would smell like weed, and to make things worse, she would never clean anything or buy the necessary things we needed (TP, cleaning supplies, etc).
    Maybe you can sublet the place out for the rest of the lease. Is there somewhere else you could go? How long till the lease is up?

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    Veteran Member Jillian's Avatar
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    Default Re: roommate probs - help!

    It's not so easy to kick her out. We're both on the lease. The lease began in May and runs to next May. I'm trying to find a subleaser, but it's not that easy.

    Sitting down and talking sounds like a decent option but 1. She's ALWAYS high, and i would prefer not to talk to her when she's high. and 2, last time we did, it turned into her yelling and screaming at me. I felt very threatened and went to a lawyer at this point. When I tried to leave the room she continued following me around yelling at me.

    Maybe I'm just makign excuses and should just stop being a pansy and go after her. I'm not really in teh mood for a fist figut though. Generally I'm just one to lay low and be non-confrontational.


    My food keeps getting stolen too and I hate it. I can't work right now because of my broken foot, and I can't afford to replace food that keeps getting stolen.


    [/URL]

  6. #6
    Sitri
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    Default Re: roommate probs - help!

    You have to draw a hard line on this one. If she has the pot in the apartment you are just as responsible for it as she is.
    Since you are not "participating" in the "benefit" you can't participate in the risk of being caught or violating your lease.
    Also, backstabbing you and slandering you about your dancing clearly puts her as your enemy and not just someone trying to smoke privately and peacefully.
    I agree with Beach Bunny. You have to terminate the apartment relationship. Life is too short and you have already had too many stressfull and crappy things to deal with in the last year.

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    Member fl1rtyg1rl's Avatar
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    Default Re: roommate probs - help!

    Do you have another place to go, and sublet?

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    Featured Member DSUsb19's Avatar
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    Default Re: roommate probs - help!

    We just had one of our girls get expelled b/c she kept smoking pot, and she brought it into the suite where she lived with 5 other girls. If they had NOT narced on her, they would've all been busted. It's your future and safety. Would you rather be known as a narc, or someone whose future and good name ws ruined because of drugs? it's not a good situation any way you handle it. It will be hard; but you have got to look out for #1 here, especially since that's what she's doing. Get her out of there before you go down with her.
    *~If you play with reservation, you never play to your full potential.~*

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    Default Re: roommate probs - help!

    I know your in MI but I had a not so greata roomate too.
    Hopefully shes paying rent on time and if not you can get her evicted with a pay in 3 days or quit notice. But youd have to find a subleaser. www.roomates.com yo.
    You can say they are a threat to you and get them kicked out in 30 days or less.

    I had a roomate move back to Chicago and when she left she left some of the rent to fall on me. The apt. community ppl billed her for the remaining months so I wasnt screwed.

    Check your local renters rights laws.
    Last edited by TigersMilk; 10-27-2005 at 10:25 AM. Reason: bad web source
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    Member fl1rtyg1rl's Avatar
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    Default Re: roommate probs - help!

    I agree with TM, find out the renter laws.
    I'm assuming both your name's are on the lease?

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: roommate probs - help!

    You don't need that kind of roommate - she's putting YOU in legal danger by having her weed in your house and she doesn't give a rat's ass about anything but herself. Whatever money she pays in rent/bills is NOT worth what you're putting up with.

    You need to kick the bitch out. Quit pussyfooting, stand up for yourself and tell her to get the fuck out. Call the cops, complain to the rental mgmt regarding the weed if you have to - they will kick her ass out. Why do you care if she gets arrested? She clearly doesn't give a damn if YOU get arrested because she has pot in your house. KICK THE BITCH OUT.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Veteran Member Jillian's Avatar
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    Default Re: roommate probs - help!

    Thanks TM, I'm going to look into that.

    I've been looking into subleasers since the cat incident. (I had to get rid of it because she was threatening to leave the front door open or take it to the humane society and have it put to sleep). I tried roommates.com for a few months but I'm poor and can't afford anything at the moment. I think my friends and I are going to be putting flyers up around campus tomorrow.

    My friends are all really supportive, and I can stay with them, but I feel like, I'm hardly here as it is, I moved home for the last 3 weeks because of foot, my apt is on the 3rd floor, I'm paying half of the rent too, why should she get to dictate my life and control the use of our apt.

    I think I will call the leasing office today and talk with my landlord, at least annonymously for now, and see what can be done. Maybe it's time to see my lawyer again too...


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    Default Re: roommate probs - help!

    http://www.hud.gov/local/oh/renting/tenantrights.cfm
    this one too might help.

    Also, when I was having roomy problems I called the non-emergency line of my local police dept. They were nice enough to give me advice. You cant make someone instantly homeless (unless they are a danger to your.. ie pot, threats) but you can get them kickout or backout of your lease somehow.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    Veteran Member rain's Avatar
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    Default Re: roommate probs - help!

    Get out of this situation as soon as you can. Do you have craigslist in your area? Google it. It's a good resource to find a subletter. If the landlord has any problems with you getting someone to cover your lease, tell the landlord that your roommate is living a lifestyle that isn't condusive to your success in school. That's all you have to say. She threatened to kill your cat! Get out as soon as you can. Don't try to be nice, just remove yourself from the situation and move on.

    A few weeks after you move out, this will all seem like a bad dream.

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    Member fl1rtyg1rl's Avatar
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    Default Re: roommate probs - help!


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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: roommate probs - help!

    Jill, try Craigslist. I know two people that it took less than a day to sublet their place. Better yet, go to your landlord tell him or her that you lost your job, can't pay the rent for more than 2 more months and you'll understand if she wants to dissolve the lease. Then you're considerate. Tell your roommate the same thing. Just get rid of these people.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Veteran Member Jillian's Avatar
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    Default Re: roommate probs - help!

    yess just got the text message saying i'm the most immature psycho stripper ever and that she never would have to sell her body to make money, or prostitute herself, she's not a slut like me.....can you say harassment case?


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    God/dess KamrynAnne's Avatar
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    Default Re: roommate probs - help!

    just curious but did u know this girl before you decided to move in with her??? i guess you really get get to see the ugly side of people when u actually live with the person.

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    Default Re: roommate probs - help!

    The hard part is that this girl is on the lease with you. The good part is that she is in violation of that lease with her pot habit. You need to go to a lawyer and have them draw up a legal document that your roommate and your landlord has to sign. Of course, you do not want to do this until you have someone else ready to move in.

    It will effectively remove her from the lease, at which point your landlord can write up a new lease with your new roommate on it...or he/she can make a separate lease with the other person only on it.

    Aside from that, you will not be able to just kick her out...not for anything (I know, I've been there). She has a LEGAL right to be in that place and until she is terminate off of the lease, by law, the landlord has to let her come and go.

    Good luck and let us know what happens!

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    Veteran Member Jillian's Avatar
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    Default Re: roommate probs - help!

    I Have good news! I called my landlord....here's what went on.

    I told them the problem, and how she basically says that she pays rent and can do what she pleases, landlord said, yeah to a certain extenct, except fot that is illegal. They asked if I would be willing to move out or if I would want her to move out. I said if I could break my lease and move out I would. I also said that I was afraid she was going to plant some in my stuff (I think my old dance bag would probably be where she puts it if she does - so i'm taking out all dance stuff) they said that well obviously I woulnd't be calling if I did it too because they would search all of the premises and would find mine too, and that it doesn't take a genius to figure out who is doing the illegal stuff. So the managers at the office are trying to figure out what to do, and have already tossed out the idea of breaking my lease for me, they said they would call me and let me know before they do anything, be it a letter, or a bust, or calling the cops on her. Also she would be responsible for the rent if I move out because she violated our lease.

    I hope this all works out!


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    Veteran Member Alpha_Male's Avatar
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    Default Re: roommate probs - help!

    It'll be more work on your part, but if you're allowed to break your lease, I'd take it and find a new place. If you stay around and she gets kicked out, who knows what she might do to get back at you, it sounds like shes pretty screwed up. Sometimes when you deal with people like this, you just leave them alone and walk away.

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    Veteran Member vegasbebe's Avatar
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    Default Re: roommate probs - help!

    Situations like this suck. Just move out, I think you're overdramatizing the issue here. I don't really think it was neccessary to contact a lawyer twice about this. Move out, and leave a letter with your landlord siting that you are moving out due to intolerable and unlawful behavior of your roommate. Which would you rather have, if worse can to worse: a possible bleep on your credit score, or a year long NIGHTMARE living situation. Pack your shit, and go.

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    Member fl1rtyg1rl's Avatar
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    Default Re: roommate probs - help!

    If your roommate gets evicted, or whatever ends up happening, I think you should still move. I don't think it's such a good idea to have her knowing where you live. If you are concerned about her doing something to you know? Just think of what she might be wanting to do to you if she's really pissed because she just got evicted!
    Good Luck!!

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: roommate probs - help!

    I'm glad you called the office, that's what I would've done. They won't want her in the apt and they'll do what's necessary to get her out, which is what needs to be done - it also gives you a leg to stand on in case the roommate tries to do something really stupid.

    Also if they'll let you break the lease, go for it. I agree with above posters who said you'll be better off if she doesn't know where you live. No telling what she'll do in retaliation, and you clearly don't trust her.

    Take care of yourself and if you can stay with friends/family for a while, until you can find a new place, I'd highly recommend it. You need to get away from this chick.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Veteran Member Jillian's Avatar
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    Default Re: roommate probs - help!

    just kidding....landlord called me back and said they won't break my lease but may evict us. They are calling the cops. Now I am fucked.

    Last night when I left my room her and her friend started yelling "Whore!" at me...I don't know what to do, who would want to live with this girl and sublet from me. She is harassing me now...making me feel threatened in my own apartment.


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