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Thread: Advice on sex

  1. #1
    Member blueyegurl_05's Avatar
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    Default Advice on sex

    O.k. so heres the problem I am in a relationship and really want to please my man and be the best he has ever had!!! But I am very selfcouncious about myself. What can I do to overcome this? He says that I am so tense in the bed and that Im sexy but Im not as sexy as I could act he says I act like Im ugly and like 100 yrs old. But what if I try to do something and he doesnt like it? I love him so much and I know deep down he would like anything I do but I want him to love it!! I would love any help that anyone could give me Thanks, hope this all doesnt sound stupid!!!
    Last edited by Rhiannon; 10-30-2005 at 10:55 PM.

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    Senior Member TorontoGuy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice on sex

    I don't know if guys are allowed to post here, but I'm going to risk irritating the mods to answer you...

    You have to be comfortable with being laughed at if something goes wrong in the bedroom. Not just you singular, but 'you' as in 'both of you'. Sex can be messy, noisy, and occasionally involve falling off of things. My god, you might even accidentally fart! Each of you needs to be comfortable with the other doing something embarassing, and you have to trust each other that you will laugh WITH each other and not AT each other.

    If you try something and he doesn't like it, you scratch it off the list and try something else! Offer to attempt one thing he wants, whatever that might be (obviously this does not include criminal or seriously unsafe acts), in return for him doing something you've always been afraid to ask for in the bedroom.

    If your man is right, and not just trying to push for a 'porn star experience', then in addition to it being better for him, you will enjoy yourself 100x more if you can let go and get into the act. You'll also find that laughing with each other when things go wrong (which they probably will at some point) leads to greater intimacy than sex itself.

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice on sex

    You obviously have some self-esteem issues. You may want to try looking into WHY you are feeling the way you are feeling. Let's face it...you'll never be the free-spirit in bed you want to be if you cannot be that before you hop into the bed.

    Another thing...don't focus on YOU...I mean, don't focus on your body...how it looks, how you're moving...whatever...just let go of all the judgements that you hold about yourself (or even sex) and just go with the flow.

    And about laughing at yourself...that's a must. There'll be a time you'll go to do something and something doesn't go right...and you'll just have to laugh it off. Be open, be honest, and just be THERE, in the moment.

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    Member blueyegurl_05's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice on sex

    Thank you all for the advice and yes I have self-esteem issues very bad.. Im working on that problem or (trying to). Thanks

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    Featured Member greggy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice on sex

    Dancing really helped my self esteem a lot! Especially in bed. Granted, I'm no sex goddess, but occasionally, I'll go on top (that embarasses me the most). I don't know if my bf actually enjoys it while I'm up there, but it feels good to me, and I think he pretends to like it so I'll relax and try new things more often.

    Don't worry about being the best he's ever had. I'm not 100% sure, but I don't believe that men sit and compare their sexual experiences between women. IMO, if it's good, and you guys really love each other, then that should be enough to keep him happy. Suck it up and force a confident facade for now. Eventually, it'll start to become you. Kinda like my fear of approaching custys if they're not pulling me over (I have a few self esteem issues too and a fear of rejection- I'm very thin skinned). I just force myself to go over and chat. It's becoming more natural for me and my confidence is rising.

  6. #6
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Advice on sex

    Another reason why I took this job!

    I've only been up on stage once for my audition and it already gave me a confidence boost! I'm sure your guy is very understanding. It really doesn't take much to please a man either, their quite simple creatures when it comes to sex....lol.... I used to get stressed about trying different things during sex, but I realized I was thinking waaaaay too much. When I just went with it I'd get so caught up in the experience that it was easy to try new things.

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    Featured Member Veronika's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice on sex

    Ya know... you might have some fun with some of the sex manuals out there. "Guide to Getting It On" has some great ideas and techniques and is written in a very fun style. Learning new little tricks now and then helped me get more confident in bed. As I have gotten older and more comfortable with my body they still help.
    Currently dancing at the Men's Club of Reno, NV
    under the name of Veronica! I am a 2007 calendar girl for MCR, so message me if you want a calendar!

  8. #8
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Advice on sex

    They love confidence more than anything. Just remember that he is NOT looking at your perceived "flaws" or anything you're worried about. You are naked and you are in bed with him, hence you are a SEXY GODDESS. Men are nowhere near as critical as we have been led to believe.

    Hell, my guy likes to fuck me first thing in the morning when I haven't brushed my teeth or washed my face, my hair is dirty and matted, and I have to pee. He doesn't see any of that - he just sees HOT NAKED GIRL! So what the hell, go with it!

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    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice on sex

    I'd rather be with a 5 who's a freak than a 10 who's a stiff.

    Loosen up, get your freak on and he'll be all about it.

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    Default Re: Advice on sex

    I find women who ENJOY sex and initiate with variety to be most sexy. You can tell when someone is just trying to please you or going through the motions. Don't worry so much about him but focus on You too. Trust me, if your confident in bed he will be enjoying himself.

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    Default Re: Advice on sex

    Well my 2 here - the best in bed well my wife of 19yrs is by no means the best I ever had in bed hope that doesnt sound mean its the truth . I imagine the best I had in bed would most likely get bored with me after an hour lol . There is much more to a relationship then just the bed play it is important -yes - but many other aspects of your relationship will be much more involved and these are what keeps a relationship going strong . Try taking control in bed this will make him think a bit - you can do it !

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    Veteran Member sexystephani's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice on sex

    Im not sure if this will help but heres my advice. You may want to try to have sex in dim (or maybe no lighting) at first. Have a drink and try to relax.
    Dont worry right now about being "the best" just try to relax and be comfortable. If he wasnt attracted to you then he wouldnt want to have sex.
    Im sure you are attractive and you have nothing to worry about. Like some other people posted try to work a little on youre esteem. Once you become happy with yourself then you can relax in bed.

  13. #13
    God/dess twisterinAZ's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advice on sex

    Guys love it when a girl is enjoying herself.Loosen up and do what feels good and comes naturally to you.That way you both win ..hopefully,you get off and he gets to feel like he rocked your world...Have a couple drinks first

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