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Thread: how to buy a house as a dancer

  1. #26
    Miss. Kristina Lee
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    Default Re: how to buy a house as a dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by Emily
    maybe reconsider this?

    I personally wouldn't want anone involved with the club involved with my taxes, let alone a regular. If things go wrong with him, he has so much information on you. If something goes wrong with the club, they may come looking for you.
    in 99% of cases like this i would agree with you, however he does many dancers taxes for them and some of our managents, and no one has ever had a problem. he truly is harmless.


    anyway i appreciate everyones advice. im kind of worried about how much my back taxes will be. i think ill be thrown deep into debt all over again.

  2. #27
    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: how to buy a house as a dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by Miss. Kristina Lee

    anyway i appreciate everyones advice. im kind of worried about how much my back taxes will be. i think ill be thrown deep into debt all over again.
    Yeah, I think that is why dancers have a hard time going legit after years of having a free ride.

    but to be fair, the money wasn't technically yours to begin with

  3. #28
    Featured Member Lilith's Avatar
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    Default Re: how to buy a house as a dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by Miss. Kristina Lee
    i have those already. i just need to pay off the debt on my credit card and i know my score will go up. i owe 7 grand on it.

    somehow with my bad credit scorei have 2 credit cards with limits of 15,000 each. thats why i assumed i had good credit. heh.
    There are a few reasons why your credit score may not be as much as it could be. Right off the top of my head, I'm betting you have a thin file or low average file age. Credit bureaus love to see tons and tons of tradelines - the more the merrier - because it gives your file that broad scope which tells lenders that you can handle almost any sort of credit. Age on accounts is a killer for many people; the thinking goes that, sure, you've been peachy 100% for three years but maybe you'll go psycho in year four. Game plan: don't ever close anything. Upgrade the crappy credit lines when possible and replace them with better credit lines when necessary, but don't close the old ones. Pay them off and put them in the sockdrawer.

    Third would be credit utilization, which is a huge way to jack up your score real quick. Utilization works like this: say you have two credit lines worth $15k each. Your total available credit would then be $30k. If you have $24k charged on those cards then your utilization is 80%, meaning that you are using 80% of your available credit. Credit bureaus don't like that. Get it down to 10-15% and your score will improve, sometimes drastically.

    Fourth, pull your reports from each credit bureau individually. Specifically, get a paper report through snail mail and not an online tri-merge jobbie. Look for identity theft. Something is seriously wonky if your score is 590 and you've qualified for not one but two credit lines of $15k. Check that out.

    And get your taxes done. No-doc loans, according to my crystal ball, are on their way out. You'll need a means of proving your income.
    He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

  4. #29
    Featured Member scorpio's Avatar
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    Default Re: how to buy a house as a dancer

    eh, ok. I see alot of semi-correct info and advice being thrown around, so I will step in and give some hard info.

    First I will qualify myself (for those who don't know)
    Auto Finance -6 years
    Mortgage Broker-4 years
    currently an account executive with a national mortgage lender (sub-prime)

    To start: You are in a good position because you are planning for your future and have set a 5 year timeline, although I bet you can accomplish your goal in 12-24 months. First off, your main goal should be raising your credit score. A 590 is definately sub-prime. Have you pulled your report lately? A low score can be from making late payments (bad) or having maxed out credit lines (worse) Take some time to pay those off or down to under 50% of your credit line. That alone could add 100 points to your score. pay off any collections. Go to experian.com, transunion.com, and equifax.com (credit agencies) and order reports (1 free by law) consider joining their monitoring system, which alerts you when changes occur on your file. If you spot innacurate info, you can dispute that info right online. It works great!

    Second, your taxes. I don't know how many times I have said this, but the IRS does not and will not "flag" you for the way you apply for a mortgage. It just isn't done. In fact, just the opposite is true. A conforming lender (good credit lender) may make you sign a form 4506,which allows them to contact the IRS to compare your tax info on your application to what the IRS has on file-very rarely done. This is to protect the lender from fraud-people making fraudulent w2's etc. (very bad idea) many lenders, however, do not require a 4506. contacting a CPA to help with filing of back taxes is the smart thing to do.

    Third, As long as you can verify your employment, you should have no troble buying a home with little or no money down, although the more you put down, the easier it is to qualify and the lower the rate. Since you won't have w2's, many lenders use 12-24 months of bank statements to verify income via deposits, so make sure you deposit your money. Also, keep copies of your rent checks (never pay cash) because a lender will need a rental history. If you dont want to show bank statements, the a stated income loan is possible with a 600+ credit score, but your rate will be higher.

    For example, my lender will do a full doc/bank statement loan at 100% (no money down) with a 580 score and a stated loan with a 620 score.

    so, to recap:
    1-fix credit
    2-pay taxes
    3-buy house

    it's that simple.

  5. #30
    242_fair
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    Default Re: how to buy a house as a dancer

    Whatever you do, don't allow any mortgage brokers doctor up your mortgage info (i.e. fake letter of employment, fake tax return info to overstate income).

    2 months ago I tried to buy a condo with doctored up paperwork. I paid my deposit on the property $10,000. The bank somehow caught the fake income papers, denied my mortgage on the day of closing.

    I LOST MY $10,000 DEPOSIT BECAUSE I COMMITTED FRAUD!!!

    Seriously, pay your taxes, be legit, then buy a house.

  6. #31
    242_fair
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    Default Re: how to buy a house as a dancer

    And most dancers just do not have the discipline to fly this low under the radar!!

    The only possible exception may be part-timers and students.

    Everyone else, there WILL be clues in your banking records.

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie

    As others have posted, in order to attempt to avoid IRS computer attention, a person who does not report significant amounts of income must also have financial expenditure records which do not show significant amounts of expenditures. This means a bank balance that doesn't exceed $3000. This means a car that is worth much less than $10,000. This means no house or condo. This means less than $3000 in annual credit card expenditures. This means no investments, no retirement savings, etc.

  7. #32
    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: how to buy a house as a dancer

    wow, what a horrible set of circumstances...sorry that happened to you, 242. Did anything happen to the broker?

  8. #33
    Veteran Member Phedre's Avatar
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    Default Re: how to buy a house as a dancer

    No shit 242, did the broker have any consequences or did you contact the mortgage dr.s to provide the fake documents? WOW, they let it go all the way to closing without calling the fakes out on the carpet??
    Phedre
    ~ my very own pole dancer!

  9. #34
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: how to buy a house as a dancer

    242, I'm so sorry to hear that. You really had a crappy broker, if they were dumb enough to get caught. It seriously happens all the time, and most brokers have back-up lenders. Faking a verification of employment or occupancy (a daily occurance in this business) is one thing, but faking W2's or other federal documents is a federal crime punishable by prison. Did this ass-wipe broker get busted? If I were you, I would report his ass.

  10. #35
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: how to buy a house as a dancer

    Faking a verification of employment or occupancy (a daily occurance in this business) is one thing, but faking W2's or other federal documents is a federal crime punishable by prison. Did this ass-wipe broker get busted? If I were you, I would report his ass.
    Agreed, to cover your own ass I would definitely report this shady broker. As Venus points out, letters of employment or letters of occupancy are not official 'gov't' documents and do not contain official financial information which is likely to be filed with the gov't. Faking a W2 or 1099 income report or faking 1040 tax returns (and I presume faking line items as well) is flirting with a Federal Felony.

  11. #36
    Featured Member GnBeret's Avatar
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    Default Re: how to buy a house as a dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by Miss. Kristina Lee
    kryssy

    the irs coming and finding me on stripperweb is not something im worried about i have better chances of winning the lottery than that happening. sheesh...
    Ja ja ja... ya think?!? While that was probably the case in the not too distant past and, at least to some significant degree, may well still be the case even now, it most certainly won't be in the very near future - 'cause between the 'Matrix', 'Tapdance' and 'Carnivore' systems people confessing to things like tax evasion (in writing, with what amounts to their "John Hancock" affixed, no less!) are soon going to be finding themselves on the receiving end of an IRS notice and demand letter in an astoundingly short period of time following their ill-advised admission.

    Moreover, even assuming, arguendo, that you're correct, you've nevertheless still exposed yourself to several potential problems, to wit: (1) should you be audited for some other reason, this kind of shit is a veritable 'landmine' lying in wait for you out there; and (2) having admitted scienter element in writing, whatever ability you might have gad to negoiate a reasonable settlement with IRS re back taxes/penalties/interest just went out the window....

    And, as long as I'm "preaching," a word of caution to EVERYONE HERE: you need to take the above-referenced systems seriously... and think long and hard about what you're doing before you engage in discussions (in public, and in writing!) re criminal activities such as drug use, money laundering, bank fraud, tax evasion and tax fraud, etc, etc., etc., 'cause there will soon come a time when such stuff will sttart to turn around and bite you in the ass... hard!
    "That's your answer Old Man? I guess you're a Hard Case too...."
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    it's that you can always see it coming, but you can never stop it.
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  12. #37
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: how to buy a house as a dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie
    Agreed, to cover your own ass I would definitely report this shady broker. As Venus points out, letters of employment or letters of occupancy are not official 'gov't' documents and do not contain official financial information which is likely to be filed with the gov't. Faking a W2 or 1099 income report or faking 1040 tax returns (and I presume faking line items as well) is flirting with a Federal Felony.
    Which is exactly how she got caught. They most likely "verified" the information with the IRS. NOT good.

    I hate to say this...but I highly doubt this is the last you'll hear about this, 242. Better make sure your ducks are lined up neatly in a row.

    And, do make sure that you report the broker.

  13. #38
    Featured Member scorpio's Avatar
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    Default Re: how to buy a house as a dancer

    I doubt it V, most likely, she had ver VOE faked, so when the underwriter tried verifying employment, all they got was a cell # or 411 reverse lookup shoed a non-existing employer. That only happens to my deals...oh'...once a week!

  14. #39
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: how to buy a house as a dancer

    Yeah, but if she was going with a lender that requires a signed 4506...they checked with the IRS. Banks wouldn't know that a FEDERAL document was a fake unless they asked a federal agency. Otherwise, they would have said that the employment was a fake...but, stating that the W-2 and the tax forms were fake...odds are that they cross-checked with the IRS.

  15. #40
    242_fair
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    Default Re: how to buy a house as a dancer

    Well I typed a long response and then it dissapeared, so in a nutshell, the broker got away scott free, I was suicidal for a while, pulled myself together, learned my lesson.

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