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Thread: Im having a small dilema

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    Member Xmacknmadix's Avatar
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    Default Im having a small dilema

    Well im currently living with my parents. I recently had my youngest shes 3 months old. ANd i have a three year old. They were helping me when i was pregnant b/c my bf left me. Anyways. So we all three of us stay in ONE room at my parents home. My mom helps take care of them when i go to work, but she is starting to seem bothered by me going to work and leaving them with her. I want to move out but im trying to figure out what ima do when i do move out. Maybe since i wont be living with her and when i do need her to take care of them she will be more than happy to see them. (not saying she isnt) They are good kids not very hard to take care of. I help my mom with things she needs or wants and i buy the house groceries and some stuff for little sister. Im just looking for suggestions. Maybe finding a nanny and having my mom take care of them every once in awhile once i move out. And i havent been back to dancing for very long. Its only been a month since ive been back. so it will probably only get worse. Not to mention my mother works and when she gets home all tired i leave for work. The only thing about a nanny is finding someone i trust or a sitter. I guess my questions is

    Should i move out ASAP before things get bad?
    Should i get a nanny or sitter?
    Where can i find one?

    ANy other suggestions would be appreciated.

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Im having a small dilema

    I think you should really sit down and talk with your mom. Instead of trying to "read her mind". Maybe thank her for all she's done...and ask if she minds if you get a "mommy's helper" with the kids. Especially the 3 year old. Someone who can run after the toddler and take up their attention so your mom isn't going in two directions at once. If you did this for all of the nights which you work...that would be a help. The mommy's helper could leave once the kids go down to bed...and your mom would be able to get some R&R, as well. You would also have someone who you trust with your kids around the whole time (your mom) and she could really see how the nanny/mommy's helper is with the kids and whether he/she could be trusted to take care of the kids for a little while (so your mom can go somewhere).

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    Featured Member greggy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Im having a small dilema

    Yea, definately have an open and honest convo ASAP. Venus is right, thank her. Maybe treat her to a massage (cheaper option: mani & pedi). And the mommy's helper is a great idea. If budget is an issue, maybe even just every other night. Any mature, neighborhood teens that you trust? 16 & older to look after the toddler/ keep the child entertained. I did that all throughout high school with numerous families for $5/hr, sometimes while the parents were home and just wanted a night of rest.

    Don't jump the gun and move out before having a good talk with your parents. Trust your instinct when hiring a nanny, check references, and nanny cams are aren't too expensive. Good Luck!

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    Member Xmacknmadix's Avatar
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    Default Re: Im having a small dilema

    Thanks Ladies I Will Be Having A Talk With Her Tonight. I Do Thank Her Tons

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    Featured Member lunchbox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Im having a small dilema

    Is that you in the avatar? Latina? Where is your family from? It can make a difference.

    The single Latina's that work here are all from Mexico or their parents are from Mexico, and all but 2 are ESL. None of them keep their paycheck, it goes to their parents who give them an allowance.

    I've heard of a few people that even pay their parent(s) for babysitting/watching, etc. Not sure what race/culture. Also keep in mind, its very easy for those who don't know any better to think stripping is just partying and all fun. It would be very easy to gets sick of watching someones kid that is 'going out' every night.

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    Veteran Member funtasticFerra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Im having a small dilema

    I think that moving out is a good idea, not just because you don't want things to get bad between family, but also because it's good for you to have your own place and feel like you're making it. As for a nanny, you can ask around at local daycares and also put an ad in the paper. You'll have to do thorough interviews and get references if possible. Even a background check would be appropriate for me! But i'm really nurotic and trust no one with my daughter unless i know them well first.
    Good luck, it may be hard at first to find someone that you trust, but when you find the right person you'll know it! And hopefully you can find someone fast!
    "When life gets rough turn up the music and dance a little"

    I Train Mixed Martial Arts!

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    Veteran Member Aleah's Avatar
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    Default Re: Im having a small dilema

    You know, it's situations like these that I really want to get a group together to form some sort of organization with sponsers or other people who are in the industry and need to get back on their feet. It has been tried and tried over and over and it's way off the subject... BUT... What if there was a group or a system to help those in the industry find a place to live - even a building (trying not to use halfway house) with childcare, activities, shuttle, healthcare, counselors, etc. It's a dream but I know I am not the only one who thinks of this. It's tough with kids, living at home, just getting started again and feeling like you are a bother. Good luck. Have a talk and ask around. There is always a solution.

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