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Thread: Any Married Dancers?

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    Default Any Married Dancers?

    Hi There,
    I was just recently married and returning to work in a few months.
    I'm torn as to whether or not to wear my wedding ring to work
    My husband is very open minded and not concerned with my decision at all.
    Do you think it would affect earnings, either positively or negatively?
    Do you think it would affect customers attitudes toward me, again either in a positive or negative way? Do you think it matters at all?
    Any ideas would be appreciated
    Love xxx Misha

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    God/dess JustJayda's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any Married Dancers?

    I wouldn't wear it to work, heck, i'd be afraid of loosing my rock! Besides that, girls tend to be very jealous(I don't know how it is at your club). Even if they act like they aren't, there are plenty of dancers that will be undercover haters, and may even try to spread your biz to customers. I also think it ruins the fantasy for lots of custies, just my opinion. BTW, congrats girly
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    Featured Member Lilith's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any Married Dancers?

    I leave my bands at home. Don't know why but one of my co-workers wears hers at work and they never notice; my customers deliberately look for wedding bands and make a point of checking to see if I'm single.
    He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

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    Veteran Member funtasticFerra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any Married Dancers?

    I'm married and just starting out in the business, although i don't think it's a good idea to wear your wedding band to work, i do see that there is a percentage of guys that would go after you strictly because you are married lol. It's something about the chase, guys seem to like to give you what you can't get from your husband or something like that.
    But that is a small percentage of guys and I wouldn't risk ruining the fantasy for the rest of the guys. I wouldn't wear it. Plus it's not good for the pole either, so if you do any pole tricks or spins you could scratch it! Good luck and congrats on your marriage! I hope everything goes wonderfully for you!
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    Default Re: Any Married Dancers?

    I don't wear my ring to work, but I do tell the truth when I'm asked about my marital status. Inevitably, the next question is, "So how does he feel about you doing this?" That answer is also the truth: we're swingers, so frankly, dancing for another guy is pretty tame in the grand scheme of things.

    Unfortunately, this seems to only exacerbate the OTC invite problem. Since guys are positive that strippers will sleep with just about anybody, a swinging stripper must sleep with absolutely EVERYBODY.

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    buffie06
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    Default Re: Any Married Dancers?

    I am married but most always say that i am not, i wear my band only on my right hand, and leave the big rock at home. When i do confide that i am married, it is only after i am comfortable with the customer and know that it will help and not hurt me. The ones i tell are usually married swingers, so i have something in common to talk about. Even tho i pretend im single, those reactions are better than when i used to say i was married.

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    Veteran Member vegasbebe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any Married Dancers?

    Don't wear your ring. You are selling a fantasy, remember? In your customer's fantasy, you are not married.

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    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any Married Dancers?

    My advice...your first week, wear it. Second week, don't wear it. Third week...just wear your engagement ring. See which week you do the best.

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    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any Married Dancers?

    I got worried about it, but I forgot and left my rings on, and it didn't affect my earnings. I have two spouses, and my rings don't look like normal wedding rings; also, I'm young and I look even younger, so I don't think they're looking.

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    Default Re: Any Married Dancers?

    I wear mine and it doesn't hurt me. I get maybe one or two comments a week tops, and like none when I am in Texas, where they seem to care a lot less than up here in the uptight Midwest. The kind of guys who would care aren't the kind who spend money on me anyway because I'm too uppity and act like a smartass while they're generally looking for a ditz. I think it depends on what persona or angle you have in the club.

    By the way, it definitely doesn't hurt my money with married guys, some of whom confide that they'd get a kick out of their wives stripping.

    But if your hustle involves a lot of leading on and trying to get the customer to believe you will date him (unscrupulous in my opinion, but plenty of dancer's m.o.) it will probably hurt you.

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    Default Re: Any Married Dancers?

    ^^ What Susan said. I wear mine, and I also am hinest about my marriage, and it hurts me not one bit. It also tends to wed out a lot of losers and idiots who are trying to get me to date them outside the club. My custies want my company and my dances, not my OTC time.

    I have tried pretending to be single, and I don't like it. I am a horrible liar, in the first place, And I always get my sotry confused. Also, I get a lot more custys who want to date me/have sex with me etc.


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    Default Re: Any Married Dancers?

    I wouldn't recommend it. In some club environments it may be ok if you get a lot of transient customers. But from my experience, guys are always probing to see if a dancer seem "available".

    Even if guys deep down "suspect" you have someone, they don't want it thrown in their faces.

    Trust me, I have experienced this REPEATEDLY. In a more cheers type club environment the word getting out that you are married can devastate a girls earnings.

    I recommend being vague about your love life in a club, as many guys spend money in a club based on the hope that the girl they spend it on is available. And make sure any friends you have don't tell any of your customers about your love life or marital status. You could wear a regular ring on your wedding ring finger to hide the band mark.

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    Veteran Member TarynJolie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any Married Dancers?

    I have always worn mine. I don't like to deal with customers who want more than I offer in the club . I think wearing my ring serves to discourage the wanna date customers from harrassing me.

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    Default Re: Any Married Dancers?

    Thank you all for your suggestions!
    I've been thinking it over and i think that i probably will wear it. I don't have a traditional engagement ring, its on a middle finger and my diamonds are set into a titanium band so i think they'll be safe from loss in there, also my wedding band is very simple and fits quite snugly.
    Maybe i should stick to being honest with customers too. i'm an awful liar!

    Thanks Much

    Lots of Love Misha

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    Default Re: Any Married Dancers?

    Married here.....

    Leave it home!

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    Default Re: Any Married Dancers?

    I don't wear mine. If the customer asks me if I'm married, I try to find out why they want to know. Some guys are into the naughty housewife thing or the M.I.L.F. fantasy etc. I also look and see if the customer is wearing a wedding ring as well, and that will effect my answer.

    Customer: So are you married?
    Me: That's an odd question, why do you ask?

    Then I really have to read body language because his answer will probably be something like "just making conversation" or "just curious", but the way he says it will say volumes about what he is looking for.

    Or I take the smart assed approach...

    Customer: So, are you married?
    Me: Why, are you proposing?

    That one will throw him off his train of thought, and generally he will drop the subject. This one works well with the younger customer who is looking to hook up with a dancer. It gets him thinking (if only just a little) that I might be open to a deep relationship. The implication is that when he says married, I answer - with you? This is very subtle, and unless you have been a scholar of human behavior for a while, it may be difficult to pull off.

    I don't consider what I do or say in the strip club as lying. I'm acting, or playing a part. The problem is that I have a whole room of casting directors, and I really am not sure what each one is looking for.


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  18. #18
    buffie06
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    Default Re: Any Married Dancers?

    I totally agree with Paris. If we are there to provide a fantasy, why must we tell the truth? In the SC I can be whoever I want. I don't look at it as lying, it is acting. The customers aren't paying to know me personally and if they were they wouldn't have enough money. I regard my personal life and truths as sacred and share the real me with only friends otc and the like.

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    Default Re: Any Married Dancers?

    I like married dancers, being married myself, the conversation seems easier and we have something in common right from the beginning. So leave your rings on unless of you have a one carat diamond or bigger. I for one know the range of value and some guys are put off by displays of wealth...why should I be generous with her if she has a guy who can buy her a $10,000 or more ring? I of course love a guy willing to share his wife with me in an intimate sexual sort of way.

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    Default Re: Any Married Dancers?

    Choasfairy: two spouses?

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    Default Re: Any Married Dancers?

    I have done it both ways and i would say don't wear it it can loose you money. If you are confident in your marriage and don't plan to cheat who gives a shit if your custy knows your married let your work be a show more like a chartorer and turn into to her there and make your money. Your personal life and morality need to not get in the way of that.

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