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Thread: to see or not to see regular outside club?

  1. #1
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    Default to see or not to see regular outside club?

    i need advice...im taking a break from dancing, and have a regular customer who i'm interested in seeing outside the club. as in, he'll pay me to date him. has anyone done this before? how much money would you expect to get in this kind of situation? opinions and words of advice please ladies....

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    Featured Member Lizette's Avatar
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    Default Re: to see or not to see regular outside club?

    He'll pay you to date him? I'm not touching this one.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: to see or not to see regular outside club?

    as long as he's paying you and both of your expectations are out there and met, I don't think anything is wrong with it.

    The one and only time I "dated" for money it turned into more trouble than it was worth.

    At first it was $1000 for dinner before I went into work(c'mon....this is hard to turn down!)
    Then as time went on he wanted me to see him after I got done with work for the same money.
    Then later he wanted me to sleep over (just sleep, but I can't sleep with some old guy clinging on to me for dear life.)
    Then he wanted me to have brunch with him on top of that. I started to get annoyed, but it was $1000, afterall....
    Then he wanted to lower it to $700. Okay, $700 on top of what I make at work isn't bad.
    Then he wanted 24 hours for $700 and there is no way in hell that's worth it.

    I kept agreeing and letting him have his way. There was never sex, but I got pressured for it a lot. I guess the moral of the story is stick to something and don't budge. I kept giving in.

    Also, this was sporadic....over the course of a year. No way would I rely on one of these guys for my primary source of income.

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    Veteran Member vegasbebe's Avatar
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    Default Re: to see or not to see regular outside club?

    I don't know, I'm with Emily. If you can set it up where he is paying you to go to dinner, or whatever, fine. I wouldn't want to be alone in a room with him though.

    My cousin actually had a situation like this happen, and like Emily said it went bad.

    She was in school, and a customer told her that he really respected that. He was like, "look, I have a lot of money, I would like to help you because I know how important school is, and nobody helped me." So, he co-signed on an apartment for her and then he paid her rent, and gave her 2000 dollars a month in spending money. The condition of this was she had to go to dinner with him once a month, and also she had to send him her reportcards and maintain a 3.5 average.... oh, and she had to quit dancing. She kept up her end of the bargain. After the third month, he drove up to take her to dinner and mentioned to her that he had rented a hotel room for the night, and expected sex. She ran out of the resturaunt, and he stopped giving her money. Also, he had his girlfriend call her and bitch her out.

    So get what you can by playing the game, but know that the money will stop reasonably soon.

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    Featured Member evan_essence's Avatar
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    Default Re: to see or not to see regular outside club?

    Here's what I keep in mind. Regardless of what he tells you, he'll expect it to lead to sex and/or romance. You'd think he'd understand that it's not likely to evolve into a traditional relationship since there's money for companionship involved. That's the opposite of what drives the development of a traditional relationship. But unless he's the rare exception to the rule (and trust me, he's not), he'll be under the impression that once you get to know him, the money won't be the reason you're continuing to see him. As time goes by, he'll expect you to be less interested in the money and more interested in him for him. He'll demand more and more of your time for less compensation, and if you allow it, that's "evidence" that he's winning you over. If you don't, he'll start to believe that you're taking advantage of him, even if you're merely doing what you both agreed to from the beginning.

    I think it's important to be frank up front, and throughout, that he's paying only for companionship, rather than leading him on that you might fall for him. Draw your lines and stick to them. If you get dependent on this as a primary source of income, you won't be able to disengage as soon as you need to when things go downhill. Also, be aware that you're potentially playing with fire here. There are lots of possible pitfalls. If he's psychologically unstable, things could get complicated and scarey. He could really start to resent you for not being won over. I try to be respectful of people's feelings, but firm, when I have to tell them, look, this isn't working out as the arrangement we agreed to. Truth be told, this is not something I'd advocate as a path to take.

    -Ev

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    Featured Member former_LV_dancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: to see or not to see regular outside club?

    I'm with everyone else on this sticky issue. I have never seen these situations work out. You can play the game for a while, but it always leads to less and less money, more time asked, and some form of sex. And hope the guy doesn't go nuts on you when you say no to sex. One girl had a regular, was the nicest guy in the world....when she eventaully said no way to sex.....he was a crazy stalker and she needed to get a restraining order.
    I had a few regulars, mostly only hung with them inside the club. A few times I went to dinner or gambling with some of them. But I always made it clear I had a bf and was not having sex. Needless to say.....I didn't hang out them for too long when they realized I was firm with what I said and they weren't going to change my mind.

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    Veteran Member laplover69's Avatar
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    Default Re: to see or not to see regular outside club?

    I agree that it usually isn't a good idea to spend time with a "customer" OTC for money. Too many unfounded "stereotypes"/labels of "strippers" and "customers" that usually are difficult to overcome. I agree that if you are upfront it lessens the risk that something bad could develop, but for most guys having a "platonic relationship" with a stripper OTC when there are genuine feelings on the guys behalf is not even a good consolation especially if he is getting more ITC for $$$ than he ever will OTC for $$$ or no money.

  8. #8
    Jay Zeno
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    Default Re: to see or not to see regular outside club?

    1. If I'm not welcome to answer, let me know, and I'll delete this and leave.

    2. I don't know what "date" means. To any number of people, it includes the possibility of sex.

    3. I know of instances where it's gone well, but the boundaries have to be pretty well set and the people have to actually like each other, at least superficially, or somebody's gonna feel rotten.

    4. If you don't want it to lead to sex, then that's a boundary that needs to be set solidly early on. Take it from me, talking as a guy, he will want it to go to sex sometime. (I mean, there are guys out there that are honorable about not pursuing sex when it's not wanted, but the statistical probability is so low that you can't count on it.)

    5. If sex is on the menu, then refer to paragraph #3.

    6. I'm just talking out of my ass. I haven't had this experience. I've just talked to people who have.

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    Veteran Member Lady's Avatar
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    Default Re: to see or not to see regular outside club?

    Bad idea. I do not under any circumdtances do otc anything. I know hirls who do, mainly have custys take them shopping although they say theat is all it is I really dont know. As we all know, just b/c a girl says they are not sleeping together dosent mean shit. My motto: keep work at work and never step over your line no matter how much money is involved.

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    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: to see or not to see regular outside club?

    I'll keep it simple: ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?

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    Default Re: to see or not to see regular outside club?

    We seem to get these threads every two or three months, fairly consistently.

    It's extremely difficult to give good advice in these situations because everything really depends on the "relationship" between the two of you. Generalizations like "he'll always want sex" or "he's not being honest with you" are unfair and wrong because nobody posting on this board (including me, of course) could possibly know that because we don't really know either of you.

    I think the sense of the thread is that people want you to be careful and cautious. That's always good advice, but I'd suggest you draw the line a bit this side of "paranoid."

    Find out sooner rather than later what he means by "dating." I know a number of extremely rich, generous and good-looking guys who are just plain hungry for companionship. The reason is that their business lives are so hectic and overwhelming that they crush out their personal lives and everything associated with them. Chris Rock has this hilarious line he uses in his stand-up routine that says all people are either "married and bored or single and lonely." The truth is, "rich and lonely" is far more accurate for these guys. There are a lot of them.

    In the meantime, restrict your meetings to public places, consider bringing along a female friend and make sure he knows and respects your own limits (whatever they may be). Make sure a friend of yours knows where you are when you go out with him. Those are generally good guidelines for a start.

    Please do let us know how it works out for you.

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    Veteran Member funtasticFerra's Avatar
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    Default Re: to see or not to see regular outside club?

    Usually when a man pays a women it is leading up to sex. Wether or not he's put that on the table or not. And if you're up for that that's fine, but be careful! There are a lot of creeps, and even though you may think you know this person you never ever know someone good enough! Guys usually don't have much respect for girls when they are paying them. They think of the girl as their property and will eventually advance on you or end up beating you or some other horrible thing. I wouldn't do it personally, but if you are up for it and willing to accept the risks and be cautious then go for it.
    "When life gets rough turn up the music and dance a little"

    I Train Mixed Martial Arts!

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