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Thread: 40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work

  1. #1
    Veteran Member monicabi's Avatar
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    Default 40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work

    I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
    I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
    How about never? Is never good for you?
    I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
    I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
    I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
    I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
    I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
    It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.
    Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
    I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
    I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
    I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
    I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
    Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
    The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
    Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
    What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
    I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
    It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
    And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
    Do I look like a people person?
    This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
    I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
    Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
    If I throw a stick, will you leave?
    Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
    I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
    A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
    Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
    Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
    Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done.
    How do I set a laser printer to stun?
    I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted a salary.
    Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
    Oh I get it... like humour... but different

  2. #2
    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: 40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work

    I just knew it got too quiet when I talk to my boss on the phone.


    (some good ones here)
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

  3. #3
    God/dess Bunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: 40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work

    I just always want to yell "SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!" I actually bought a T-shirt that says just that because I think it so often!

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: 40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work

    Words on shirt that I actually wore to work this morning:

    "If you could read my mind, you wouldn't be smiling".

    Couldn't be more appropriate at the moment, I'm saddened to say.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: 40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work

    That is what I love about my job---I DO say these things out loud!


    My MySpace Page:


    When you perform... you are out of yourself--larger and more potent, more beautiful. You are for minutes heroic. This is power. This is glory on earth. And it is yours, nightly.

    --Agnes De Mille

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    Senior Member neve's Avatar
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    Default Re: 40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work

    my favorite shirt that i wore at work
    "you can't afford me"

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    God/dess velvet's Avatar
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    Default Re: 40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work

    i saw this awhile back and meant to add the "what am i flypaper for freaks" in my siggy line. think i'll add it now. thanks for the reminder.

    ok guess i dont know what the hell im doing. i couldnt make it my sig

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    Veteran Member Cristalla's Avatar
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    Default Re: 40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work

    *to customers*:

    NO , i dont date

    NO , i dont get horny when i do a lapdance

    NO , i wont have sex with you no matter how much money u re willing to pay

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: 40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work

    "If I got a nickle for everytime someone told me something that they thought I cared about, I would be rich and wouldn't be sitting here listening to you flap your lips."

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    Default Re: 40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work

    "Police. Your all under arrest!" I would love to see all the jaws drop.

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    God/dess Bunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: 40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work

    my favorite shirt that i wore at work
    "you can't afford me"

    I have a shirt that says that too and it's got a little dog on it with a gold collar on. I bought it at Wal-Mart and my friend thought it was so cute she went to two Wal-Marts looking for one and couldn't find it. Never thought I'd like a shirt from Wal-Mart so much but I think it's really cute.

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    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: 40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work

    "Would you say/do this stuff to your daughter/granddaughter/girlfriend/wife?"

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    Default Re: 40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work

    Forget to take your meds again?
    Junior High wasn't that fun the first time, move on.
    Get over yourself, cancer gets a lot of attention too.
    Tantrums are for todlers.
    Shut up, I'm about to puke.
    You smell really bad.
    Have you considered washing that shirt this year?
    Acting surly is not a substitute for an actual personality.
    You need a good fucking.
    The next time you fart in my office, I'm going to behead you.
    Get naked and fuck me.
    You are repulsive, please leave.
    Go flirt with the special employees in the mail room, they may not find you repulsive.
    You should come to work drunk more often. Your debilitating insecurities aren't so obvious when you are drunk.
    Last edited by toomuchinfo; 11-07-2005 at 12:24 AM.

  14. #14
    buffie06
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    Default Re: 40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work

    I told a guy he should wax the middle of his unibrow, I was trying to be helpful(If i was a guy i would want that advice.) , but he thought i was mean. I thought we had a good rapport, but i didn't care i already had his money.

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    Veteran Member vegasbebe's Avatar
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    Default Re: 40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work

    Things I'd like to say at work:

    Please, I wouldn't even be sitting here right now if you weren't paying me.

    Why would I want you to touch me?

    It's obvious that you could never be with a woman unless you paid her.

    Oh my God, is your dick tiny.

    Fuck off and die.

    I would rather put my cigarette out in my hand then sit here one more minute.

    If you grab my tits on more time I will put this stilleto somewhere on your body that you won't like.

    Look, this would go a lot smoother if you'd just give me your wallet.

  16. #16
    God/dess Polekitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: 40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work

    -Yes it is my real name

    -Yes they are real

    -How much is a dance? How much have you got?



    "I don't take a piss without getting paid for it." - Harlan Ellison

    Life is movement, movement is life.
    To live is to move, to move is to be alive.
    - Mirka Knaster


    Quote Originally Posted by pixierocksonthepole View Post
    "tampons are proof that God exsists."

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    Default Re: 40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work

    Here's ten thousand dollars. You can have it if you cut off one of your fingers.

    I'd rather castrate myself with a rusty nailfile than be seen with you.

    No, the pants don't make you look fat, you are an obese pig.

    If you put one more thing on your desk that resembles a cat, I'm going to bomb this entire building.

    You were hired because you have great tits, but by sheer luck you are actually pretty smart.

    You were hired because you are very smart. Its sheer luck that you also have a great ass.
    Last edited by toomuchinfo; 11-07-2005 at 01:56 AM.

  18. #18
    Pamela
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    Default Re: 40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work

    I always wanted to say (when i was dancing) "Sure i'll fuck you"!!! An ass who asks me to fuck him deserves to GET FUCKED! Of course HE would get the wrong idea, and i would be in trouble with him perhaps...so i often said it in my mind, and then fucked him over for being a jerk! Simply by saying i was single, or talking very dirty for more dances,leading him on by making him think i was VERY into him, not his wallet!!!

    Never telling a guy i was going to leave with him however...there are ways of doing this shit and they have no clue when they are in "the moment"!

    However i do get to say what i want working the phones! And get paid doing it

    Hospital....Hmm it's an under the breath kinda thing. Or i would yell FUCK OFF ALL YOU STUPID ASS HOLES, OUTA HERE!!!

    Pamela

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    Featured Member bikinigirl04's Avatar
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    Default Re: 40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work

    "you fucking sicko."

    "ewwwww blehkleklslhegahhhhhhh" w/dry heaving.

    "get a life"
    to name a few for dancing. when i was waitressing in resteraunts i always wanted to say, "look around right now and make a list! tell me evrything at once!" instead of being run back and forth to one table for one thing at a time.
    Oh, I musta took a wrong turn at Albuquerque.


    howdy ho, junior rangers.

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    Default Re: 40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work

    "Why in the fucking world did you guys make a granite stage?" That thing is as hard as rock - well it is rock and all.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    Default Re: 40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work

    "If you were half as smart as you think you are, then you'd be twice as smart as you really are..."

    I WANT to say it. but we have alcohol in the clubs here and they just wouldn't get it anyway.

  22. #22
    God/dess kitana's Avatar
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    Default Re: 40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work

    "Who lit the fuse on your tampon?" HAHAHA I love it even the 2nd time around! I just read that line in a book a few days ago.

    "Does this dress make me look fat?" (I hear this one all the time, and I SOOO wanna say this...) "NO, it does not. Your mounds of backfat, and that couch on the top of your legs you call an ass make you look fat; but the dress is actually cute."

    And I want to tell some of the girls I work with how stupid they actually are. Geesh!!! Talk about being as sharp as a bag of marshmallows....
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Quote Originally Posted by ExoticEngineer View Post
    Feel like a damn salt lick at the goats petting zoo!
    <08SM>

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    Default Re: 40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work

    I love my new T-shirt: "I'd rather be punching you"

    Favorite thing to say to customer who is really bugging me, "I have to go stand over there now" (points to random spot in room devoid of people)

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    Featured Member cameronfl's Avatar
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    Default Re: 40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work

    Quote Originally Posted by colleen
    That is what I love about my job---I DO say these things out loud!
    Me too..it's one of the saving graces of this job!! I tell guys up front that I'm a bitch and proceed to say whatever the hell I want to after that. hey...I gave the disclosure!
    People always ask me, did I ever learn anything when I was a stripper? Yeah, I did. One man plus two beers equals 20 dollars.
    -- Anna Nicole Smith

    Myspace is an obsession...much like Stripperweb...
    http://www.myspace.com/cameronkeys (real myspace)

    http://www.myspace.com/sexyhotdancer(work myspace)


    Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

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    Featured Member cameronfl's Avatar
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    Default Re: 40 Things You'd Like to Say Out Loud at Work

    Quote Originally Posted by neve
    my favorite shirt that i wore at work
    "you can't afford me"

    Thats great!
    My current fav is a happy bunny t-shirt I bought recently...."Hooray for guys with money"
    People always ask me, did I ever learn anything when I was a stripper? Yeah, I did. One man plus two beers equals 20 dollars.
    -- Anna Nicole Smith

    Myspace is an obsession...much like Stripperweb...
    http://www.myspace.com/cameronkeys (real myspace)

    http://www.myspace.com/sexyhotdancer(work myspace)


    Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

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