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Thread: What would you do?

  1. #1
    Curious Guest
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    Default What would you do?

    Hi
    I dont know what 2 do. I have always wanted to be a stripper as a part time job while im at uni for various reasons. I have been with my boyfriend for three years now and I love him but he is totally against the idea of strippers. Well my curiosity got the better of me and I went behind his back and gave it a go. I did really well and would love to keep doing it but my boyfriend would be disgusted with me. I just wish he would understand. Im torn. What would you do?

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    Veteran Member Lady's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do?

    i would tell him. Tell him you went, you liked it and you want to go again. If he loves you he will understand althogh it can be very difficult for some men to deal with. The best thing for you to do is to NOT lie to him. He deserves to know the truth.

  3. #3
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: What would you do?

    Weigh the likelyhood of which will be still there in 5 years- your savings from stripping, or him.....

    Break up with him now, before it turns into an ugly scene.

  4. #4
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: What would you do?

    Well, why is he against it? And an important thing to consider: Does he go see strippers? There is a certain variety of revolting male who has no problem going to strip clubs and partying down, but considers the strippers themselves to be disgusting trash. If he's one of those, he will NEVER make you happy and you're better off dancing.

    OTOH, if he's a good, faithful guy who just can't stand the idea of you dancing for other men, then maybe the two of you should talk it out, visit a couple of clubs as customers so you're both clear on what actually happens there, etc. Make sure he knows you're not going to be blowing guys in the back room or anything like that. If he still can't deal with it, then you may have to choose between dancing or him, and only you can make that choice.

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    Default Re: What would you do?

    If you really want to do it and you see nothing wrong with it and your making bank keep doing it. Tell him your doing it,dont "ask" if its ok to do it. Do you see a ring on your finger? Now if he wants to break up or whatever,so be it,there are many more open minded great men out there.

    Side note: I had a guy like that before. He had tons of trashy spread eagle & anal magazines EVERYWHERE in his house.(he collected them) He also had a ton of porno tapes.He also would tell girly jokes with his buddies in front of me.(I didnt care) But when I went back to dancing,HE had a problem with it. Umm.. Well ..

  6. #6
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: What would you do?

    ^ LOL I know. My ex was a porn hound but he flipped out when I expressed interest in the sex industry.

    Look sweety, if he's not paying your tution bill, you need to think about how much he is contributing to your life...

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    Default Re: What would you do?

    I love and respect the dancers I know...but I also know I could never be in a relationship with one and have her still dance. Its not a control issue, rather its knowing myself well enough that I would be very unhappy knowing she was sharing herself with other men for money. Eventhough I know that the vast amount of dancers aren't engaging in anything I think of as sex the environment is sexually charged and lets face it rubbing your nearly naked ass on a guys crotch is hardly casual contact. Dancing is not like modeling or acting its sex work, and even if your boyfriend watches porno all day or buys lap dances from girls all night he holds you to higher level than that of mere sexual fantasy.

    On the other hand eventhough three years seems like a long time it really isn't and maybe your enjoyment of dancing for dollars is you realizing your man is a little to staid for your taste and you want some fun before you die.

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    Default Re: What would you do?

    Keep dancing and tell him if he doesn't like it to leave and don't let the door hit him in the ass while he's leaving.

    He's obviously a prude or a chauvinist and if he can't handle this what else will you argue about. My fiancee' is cool with my dancing and I've been with him for over 6 years.

    What are thes guys afraid of? Do they think you will be tempted to find another boyfriend if you work in a club?

    As most of us will advise you on SW, keep dancing, save your money, learn to invest, buy a home, and become an independent woman who has something to show from dancing. Then you will attract more mature guys who know they won't have a chance with you unless they accept your independence.

    Many college aged boyfriends are childish and can't accept dating a girl who dances.

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    Default Re: What would you do?

    Yup, I'd tell him the truth. Lying can only make things worse, and if he loves you enough then he'll understand (assuming that you explain your reasoning).

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    Default Re: What would you do?

    Thanks for all the advice.

    His problem is me sharing my nakedness with others. I do agree nakedness is something sacred but then again it comes easy to me so why not take advantage and make lots of money from it??

    Half of me thinks i want the money and good times and the other half thinks who needs money, all you need is love (hehe quoted from moulin rouge)

  11. #11
    Cally
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    Default Re: What would you do?

    I went through the same thing with my man just recently.
    I love him and I refuse to lose him over a decision like that. We have been together for over 2 years now.
    I explained to him that I needed the money to help pay my debts, I explained to him hes the most important factor in my life and that these men really repulse me and I have no intrest in them. I also told them i'll kill any guy who touches me the wrong way and the bouncers and management are watching me to make sure nothing happens I gave him time to think about it, I gave him the link for here to read and he gradually came around. But I made him promise me if me dancing started to effect our relationship to tell me and I would fix it. So far thigns are good, I tell him EVERYTHING that happens at work(even the nipple biter) and hes okay. He doesnt come to my club to watch me(thank god). He will pick me up from work or drop me off but not come inside.
    Lay out all the factors to him, take him to the club you want to dance at and let him see what goes on there.
    If there is a topless club in your area maybe you could dance there? The only thing my man didnt like was me showing my pussy, sadly topless clubs arnt around here so I didnt have that option but we came ot a compromise(I wear a skirt).
    If he knows you want to do this bad enough and you lay everything out he might come around.
    Make sure whatever deciision you make is the right one for you. Weigh out all pros and cons.

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    Veteran Member ChristyWild's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do?

    I'm personally of the opinion that if the bf doesn't like it, find another man if you really want to do it.
    Age is only important when it comes to wine and whiskey!



  13. #13
    Cally
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    Default Re: What would you do?

    I cant believe how quick people will toss away a man they're been with for 3 years over wanting to dance...
    Try to convice him, see if you can come to a compromise(as i've already stated). If you do decide to ditch him take into consideration that this could be your life mate... where dancing is probably only going to be a what? 2 year tops thing?
    Seriously weigh pros and cons before making a decision.

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    Default Re: What would you do?

    2 years tops thing?

    lol

  15. #15
    Cally
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    Default Re: What would you do?

    Shes in uni... I was assuming that she wanted something to pay the bills during uni then move on with her degree...
    My stripping is a year tops thing to help with the bills then im done. Doesnt mean I dont enjoy it but I want something where I dont have to worry about retiring the second I develope an extra wrinkle or gain an extra pound.
    Stripping isnt a life long thing for some people.

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    Featured Member Lizette's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do?

    Quote Originally Posted by catwomen
    Thanks for all the advice.

    His problem is me sharing my nakedness with others. I do agree nakedness is something sacred but then again it comes easy to me so why not take advantage and make lots of money from it??

    Half of me thinks i want the money and good times and the other half thinks who needs money, all you need is love (hehe quoted from moulin rouge)
    "Sharing" your nakedness! Blech! My ex said the same thing. I had to choose between him and dancing. Since I'm posting all over SW, you can assume that he's not around anymore. I do not regret letting him go.

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    Default Re: What would you do?

    Yep. ^^That was my 1st husband, too. Although he sure liked the $$ I made!

    These are some things I pointed out to husband #1. Subsequent lovers and current husband seem to understand them implicitly:

    1. Bodies are remarkably similar. I don't have anything any other normal woman does not have. You, beloved, hae my heart, my mind, and my life. All the things that make me unique and special are for you alone. Who cares who sees me???

    2. All these guys are doing is LOOKING at me. You get to touch and do everything else.

    3. I am with you because I choose to be with you. The way you act all childish over my work makes me feel like choosing NOT to be with you.

    Needless to say, husband #1 never did "get it." Hasta la vista, baby!


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    Default Re: What would you do?

    I'm am so glad I made a copy --
    40 things every woman should know...


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

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    God/dess KamrynAnne's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do?

    i was in your exact same shoes with my bf of a year and a half.. Ok, first of all as much as you want to hide what your're doing, DON'T DO IT.... it will only come back to bite you in the ass.. he WILL eventually find out someway or another like mine did... it was very very ugly when my bf found out about me dancing... you have to be honest with im and tell him about it.... i know the easy way out is lying, but im tellilng you things will be worse if u continue to hide it.. TRUST ME... bc eventually he's going to suspect something when you are gone working late nights... i mean its pretty easy to make up exscuses about where u were at, but its going to get old after a while.. he WILL catch on to you being shady... i made the mistake of lying, and it didn't get me too far....

  20. #20
    God/dess KamrynAnne's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do?

    my bf actually found out from a friend of a friend and i was dancing an hour away in a big city... the world isn't that small...

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