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Thread: They read me poetry

  1. #1
    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default They read me poetry

    I'm gonna take a moment here to bask in the irony.

    Thing A I am doing in my life: getting a master's degree in creative writing. Thing B: Stripping. (Also, I'm having a full-time relationship with two people, but that's more permanent than occupational.)

    In which of these areas will I most frequently end up nodding and smiling at the bad poetry people share with me?

    That's riiiiight . . . B!

    *facepalm*

    My first shift, I had a customer who wrote out a poem for me. That one was actually fairly good -- poetically a bit rough, but I'm one of not many in the world who has the chops to recognize that.

    Tonight, I had a guy reading me BAAAAD poetry. I mean, "Ode to a Lump of Green Putty I Found Under My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" grade (and I love anyone who gets the reference.) And not tipping very well, and acting stalkerish.

    Two shifts out of the four I've worked so far. This is getting to be a habit. It's kinda entertaining. If it keeps going I can start a dive-bar customer anthology.

    It's probably because I try to play up the intellectual aspect of my character. (The regulars here are often quirky, geeky and philosophical.)

    How often do people read you bad poetry?

  2. #2
    Veteran Member girlnew156's Avatar
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    Default Re: They read me poetry


  3. #3
    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: They read me poetry

    I don't even mean bad-literary-mag bad. I mean like

    "Life is all sad
    When people are bad
    And I should be good
    Because I said I would"

    . . . which is a lame paraphrase, but I'm pretty sure I blotted the original OUT OF MY BRAIN. Pfew! ;P

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    Featured Member greggy's Avatar
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    Default Re: They read me poetry

    some guy trying to pick me up on the subway recited poetry to me... or the first two pages of a book... something like that. original? yes. did it work? no

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    Veteran Member calliope7's Avatar
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    Default Re: They read me poetry

    I got a lot of bad poetry shared with me waitressing the night shift at a Denny's. But none so far dancing, thank god.

  6. #6
    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: They read me poetry

    We have a guy who claims to be a song writer. He scribbles absolutely uninteligible gibberish on coasters. I mean, it looks more like a collection of random words than any actaul lyrics.

    Funny, he has not been in since we stopped using the plain white coasters and started using the beer-company promotional ones.

    ANd yes, I got the reference.


    My MySpace Page:


    When you perform... you are out of yourself--larger and more potent, more beautiful. You are for minutes heroic. This is power. This is glory on earth. And it is yours, nightly.

    --Agnes De Mille

  7. #7
    Senior Member dolliest's Avatar
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    Default Re: They read me poetry

    I never had anyone read "original poetry" to me, but I did meet somone who could recite all of the Raven to me. I was pretty nice to him just for the coolness factor of that.
    We can move with savage grace to the rhythms of the night
    Cool and remote like dancing girls, in the heat of the beat and the lights

  8. #8
    God/dess velvet's Avatar
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    Default Re: They read me poetry

    wow in all my years dancing. thats one thing i dont recall ever happening!
    As quoted by Luckyone:
    I asked directions from a genie in a bottle of jim beam and she lied to me.

    Methodus saved my life!

  9. #9
    God/dess holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: They read me poetry

    I got spoken word once. That was painful. Unfortunately I'm a bit of a softy so I was touched that he put it out there and spent a little time with him. He wasn't tipping very great or buying dances. It may be a sweeping generalization but it seems like the sort of guy to recite poetry usually isn't the same sort of guy to be spending cash.
    I'm confused, but the Chewbacca Truffle Shuffle cleared it up. - Emily

  10. #10
    God/dess holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: They read me poetry

    oh ya - but let's not talk about poetry, what's up with your two relationships?
    I'm confused, but the Chewbacca Truffle Shuffle cleared it up. - Emily

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    Featured Member greggy's Avatar
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    Default Re: They read me poetry

    ^^^^i didn't wanna say it but I am intrigued

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: They read me poetry

    I had a drunk small town police officer the other day. When I tried to gently avoid him he decided to use his career as his selling point and proceeded to tell me how he beats people up when he thinks they deserve it. It was a looong tirade and he actually said something about civil rights not applying to people that he had in hand cuffs. When he *finally* stopped and I was about to get away he grabbed my arm and started reciting poetry that he was making up as he went along, something about snow and night and his life having no meaning until he'd met me two minutes before....



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    God/dess
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    Default Re: They read me poetry

    Yea its happened before. I thought that guy was wierd. I was thinking "you came to a SC to read some chic poetry? Wierdo."
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  14. #14
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: They read me poetry

    Quote Originally Posted by thechaosfairy

    Tonight, I had a guy reading me BAAAAD poetry. I mean, "Ode to a Lump of Green Putty I Found Under My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" grade (and I love anyone who gets the reference.) And not tipping very well, and acting stalkerish.
    Here is what the Guide has to say about Azagoth Poetry:
    The second worst [poetry in the Universe] is that of the Azagoths of Kria. During a recitation by their Poet Master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode To A Small Lump of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging, and the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos is reported to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his twelve-book epic entitled "My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles" when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save life and civilization, leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Default Re: They read me poetry

    I've written poetry for a couple of my favorite dancers, one of whom I had an OTC friendship with. They both said they enjoyed my poems, and the OTC friend would definately have told me if she didn't. It was fun. It added to my enjoyment of their private dances, and hopefully provided them with some variety as well. :-)

  16. #16
    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: They read me poetry

    Quote Originally Posted by holiday
    oh ya - but let's not talk about poetry, what's up with your two relationships?
    Wondered if someone would bite. :-) I try to be as open as possible because I think the knowledge that such a way of life exists, has existed for many years, and can in the right circumstances be consensual, empowering and positive for all participants should be common knowledge.

    My partners have been together for eleven years, I've been involved with both of them for roughly a year and a half now, living together for the last 1 year (and visiting constantly before that.) We just had a wedding ceremony, which we & our friends consider quite real, even if the government will not! (And there's hope for the distant future -- the Netherlands just married a polyamorous family legally, according to some news sources.) We all share equal status in the marriage and in household finances -- though if one of us were ever unable to earn money, or had an emergency cost, we'd all chip in. (We share a similar money ethic, which helps.) This is a long-term situation, and we're really happy together.

    We're also an open relationship, although none of us currently have involvements more serious than the occasional, outside of the three of us . . . too freakin' BUSY keeping it real with each other. :-)

    For more about polyamory -- dispelling myths, differentiating polyamory from cheating, and giving practical advice --

    http://www.polyamory.org/ has a good array of information.

  17. #17
    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: They read me poetry

    Heh,
    I've had that happen before. I called over another dancer to come listen and then ran away. She did the same to someone else... it was scary!!!

  18. #18
    Senior Member AutumnLeaves's Avatar
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    Default Re: They read me poetry

    This has got to be the best little discussion I've ever read on this board. LOVE IT. Bad poetry, polyamorous relationships, the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the works.

    By the way, Lena, I'm so glad to run into another creative writing MFA in the stripper world -- one of the first strippers I ever met was also a writing grad student, but since then it's been lonely. ; )

  19. #19
    Senior Member AutumnLeaves's Avatar
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    Default Re: They read me poetry

    Eh... I mean, Chaos Fairy. Oops.

  20. #20
    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: They read me poetry

    Yay! Go creative writing MFAs!

    As I tell people, "I'm getting a degree to make me as unemployable as possible." My bachelor's is in liberal arts . . . so I've been using that joke for a while. :-)

    Unsurprising to find another one on the west coast. It's so different from the rest of the country. Insert mandatory one-liner about secession and earthquakes and literally "splitting off" from the inner states . . .

    Do the custies read you poetry, too? o.O

  21. #21
    Senior Member AutumnLeaves's Avatar
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    Default Re: They read me poetry

    no, no... my focus is screenwriting, so they like to tell me about the movie they always wanted to make.

  22. #22
    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: They read me poetry

    Mine's actually SF & Fantasy genre. But they read me poems anyway. Mind you, I studied advanced poetics in my undergrad days -- so I suppose they smell it on me, like blood in the water. ;P

  23. #23
    Member Justine76's Avatar
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    Default Re: They read me poetry

    We have a regular at my club whom we refer to as "The Professor" because of his appearance and because he consistently writes cheesy poetry to the girls- he has even written a poem to the owner and an ode to the stripper pole! When he finishes a poem, he writes it up on fancy paper and presents you with a copy suitable for framing, LOL! He thinks very highly of himself, his intelligence, and his writing ability. He is a sweetheart though, so we indulge him in his illusions. Contrary to the poetry-writing norm, however, he does get dances on a regular basis and will usually spend $100 each time. The only bad thing about him is that he is very oral and always tries to lick, kiss, or tongue you if you get too close to his face. Aaack!!!

  24. #24
    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: They read me poetry

    I've never had a customer write me poetry. I did, however, have a regular compose a song for me: "Ode to (Stage Name)" He told me where he performed... and uh... yeah... couldn't bring myself to go. He called the second time we went to a VIP room our "second date."
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Strippers are like ninjas. You never know how many there are or if the person next to you is one.
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    ...I assume you probably don't want to deal with pervs, and the guys that just don't give a fuck about money are like unicorns...
    Quote Originally Posted by Sinder View Post
    I know I have said it before, and I'll say it again.... THE VAGINA IS NOT A CLOWN CAR!


  25. #25
    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: They read me poetry

    Damn, Mast and Autumn stole my thunder on citing the Hitchhiker's Guide.

    Anyhow, I've had one customer read me poetry. The poetry reading was merely the crowning event of a twenty-minute monologue that probably would have gone on for hours if I hadn't just gotten up and walked away. Dude called himself a "bard" and explained his "code of chivalry" to me. The poem was about himself, the "lonely warrior." It was ohmygod bad. So bad I've blanked it out of my mind. Whoa.

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