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Thread: Don't hate us

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    Member hopeless romantic's Avatar
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    Don't hate us

    Ladies, and I mean this with all respect and affection -Reading some of the posts around here, especially the hustle forums, and you would think that Dancers hate us customers. We either want to treat you like meat and get too much contact, or we want to talk too much instead of buy a grind, treat you like girlfriends and put you on a pedestal, or they are too business like in getting what they want or turning down what they don't want, meanwhile you all are ALL business -hustling, acting, closing the sale etc.

    Its easy to see why its disapointing to not 'close the sale' when its your living, and its easy understand why customers who try to get personal are off putting, for a whole host of reasons esp. safety, and those who want real sex should see a hooker.

    But come on. This isn't selling cars, its a very particular, intimate sort of personal service isn't it? A guy who wants just the facts mam, wham bam, should really just see a hooker or rent a porno, so is it really so bad that men look for some form of human connection? I'm not saying give us your real names or date us, just don't hate us for the natural consequence of being in a job that is about simulating intimacy.

    And easy on the hustle automoton attitude huh? Ideally a sale is mutual benefit, not an act of predation on a victim. Would you like it if the masseuse shiatsuing away your pole work knots kept hustling you for another massage, and was angry if you didn't accept, went online to learn good put downs to throw at you?

    I see posts ridiculing the idea that stripping is exploitive, but if the only way to prevent feeling exploited is to treat your customers like enemies, what's up there? I don't view the people I provide professional services to as prey or enemies.

    Of course you want men to treat you like human beings, decently politely and rewardingly, so why not view us the same? Don't mean to judge, and I know this doesn't apply to everyone, and everybody has a bad day sometimes.

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    Veteran Member Phedre's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't hate us

    Uhm, the hustle hut may sometimes seem like strippers are out of control nutbags that are just trying to rake their custies, but that isn't really what they are doing.

    This is a sales job like any other sales job. If you were hard pressed to sell 5 cell phones a day and you only sold 3, wouldn't you be pissed?

    This site is really a place for dancers to vent their frustration as well as pick up tips on how to be a better entertainer. Being as you obviously aren't a dancer, then you wouldn't understand why some of the posts make it sound like the custy is the enemy.

    Yes, IDEALLY a sale is a mutual benefit, however, there are those customers out there [IN EVERY JOB] that make you hate some days.
    Phedre
    ~ my very own pole dancer!

  3. #3
    Member hopeless romantic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't hate us

    Fair enough, everyone needs a chance to complain about work.

    Nope, me customer, me not dancer. I predominantly feel about strippers very thankful, admiring, and slightly guilty that I get something from them for $ that should be affection given between people, so being new was a tad surprised to see the venom from the other side of the fence.

    I don't want to see behind the the smiling faces a heart of ice and venom concealed with a lying tongue. I am honest in the nice things I say to strippers, and try to be as generous as I can.

    Naive I guess.

    Wish you all the best

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    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't hate us

    Good god...

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    Veteran Member vegasbebe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't hate us

    Quote Originally Posted by hopeless romantic
    Nope, me customer, me not dancer. I predominantly feel about strippers very thankful, admiring, and slightly guilty that I get something from them for $ that should be affection given between people, so being new was a tad surprised to see the venom from the other side of the fence.



    What's wrong with you? Oh, I feel guilty going to a strip club because I'm getting something for money that should be affection given between people blah blah blah....

    You realize that's insulting right?

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    Default Re: Don't hate us

    Quote Originally Posted by Madcap
    Good god...
    Ditto...

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    Senior Member Marcy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't hate us

    How do you know the person who sold you a car, house, cell phone, your clothing and whatever else doesn't have a "heart of ice and venom concealed with a lying tongue"? Would you rather go into a strip club and have a moody, bitchy woman complaining to you and spoiling your night, or a woman who is smiling, even though she might be "acting", and trying to make your night pleasurable? Remember, strippers are selling a fantasy, so if you dont want to be with them outside the club, why do you care if they are being real or not? Hustling is an exchange of goods, strippers get money, and customers get a show and a little grinding. Enjoy it!!! No one makes you go there so don't feel guilty. When in a SC, sit back, relax, and just enjoy the show

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    Default Re: Don't hate us

    Oh Puh-leeze. Bleeding hearts suck!!! Next he'll tell us he wants us to dance for him by candlelight while he bathes us in a scented tub strewn with rosepetals.

    Whatever...just give me my money. However you want to visualize it is your deal.

  9. #9
    Member hopeless romantic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't hate us

    ok

    Sorry to sound maudeline, and don't mean to be insulting.

    Enjoyed the mild flame jobs, some were funny. Guess I want to have my cake and eat it too in some ways. But, do any of you beautiful ladies like the job at all? outside of the money strictly? Not everyone can like their job, but if all of you hate it and resent what you do, then I guess I do have reason to feel mildly guilty, even if that sentiment is insulting.

    No offence intended, best wishes -got to go prepare my scented oils and inspect my collection of tiny violins

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    Default Re: Don't hate us

    Dancers dance for money. Nobody drags them into the club and forces them to do it so the only time you should feel guilty is if you waste a dancers time. Dude, if you can't suspend reality at least a little you will never fully enjoy a visit to a strip club.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
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    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't hate us

    Strip clubs is like hot sauce. Some people can handle it. Some people can't.

    Kind of like how I can't handle church.

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't hate us

    But, do any of you beautiful ladies like the job at all? outside of the money strictly?
    They certainly can, but that has a lot more to do with your behavior as a customer and you as an individual than anything else.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't hate us

    Quote Originally Posted by hopeless romantic
    But, do any of you beautiful ladies like the job at all? outside of the money strictly?
    OK, I think you are being sincere, so I will tell you:

    I bloody well LOVE my job! I have 2 college degrees and a high IQ and I could do anythig I want, within reason. I have been in the army, taught school worked in an ER, and spent the rest of my adult life in sales. And I will tell you, without question, dancing is the best f'ing job I ever had. (There are numerous threads about what we like about our jobs, besides the $$. For many people it is the atmosphere, flexible hours, performing on stage, or talking to people. ) For myself, I like earning what I am worth, getting paid daily, talking to people, and the actaul dancing.

    OTOH, I don't care what kind of job you are talking about, most people would not show up if they didn't get paid. And as long as we are at work, we might as well make all we can. After all, if you have to be at your job all day, would you rather make as much money as you could, or half as much?

    I actaully do like many of my customers. I have great conversations with them AND enjoy dancing for them. However, if they stopped tipping me, I would not be giving them the time of day, much less large chunks of my time and intimate dances.

    So, hopeless, I hope that has helped clarify things for you. Most of the dancers I know feel pretty much the same way. We like our job, we like most of our custies, but we are here to earn a living, and need to keep that in mind at all times.


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    Member hopeless romantic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't hate us

    Thanks Colleen, for the straight answer.

    Of course, nobody stays at the office or wherever for free. I am heartened that you like your job, and that even though your customers are just that, customers, you like them the way appropriate for a likable customer.

    Hey, some of my clients are jerks and I have to bite my tongue and be professional and courteous when I want to tell them off, and same with my bosses, so sorry if I came off as judgemental. I guess I like to be a nice guy, and want strippers not to think I'm their boyfriend, but still a nice guy, and I sure don't want to exploit anybody.

    Thanks to all of you for the hard work you do making schlubs like me happy.

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    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't hate us

    Quote Originally Posted by hopeless romantic
    Thanks Colleen, for the straight answer.

    Of course, nobody stays at the office or wherever for free. I am heartened that you like your job, and that even though your customers are just that, customers, you like them the way appropriate for a likable customer.

    Hey, some of my clients are jerks and I have to bite my tongue and be professional and courteous when I want to tell them off, and same with my bosses, so sorry if I came off as judgemental. I guess I like to be a nice guy, and want strippers not to think I'm their boyfriend, but still a nice guy, and I sure don't want to exploit anybody.

    Thanks to all of you for the hard work you do making schlubs like me happy.
    I don't think you're going to have a problem with the boyfriend part!

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    Featured Member Hello_Kitty27's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't hate us

    And easy on the hustle automoton attitude huh?
    I'm sorry, but I'm with him on this one. For me, as a customer in a club, I can not stand when the dancers go overboard with the hustle. It is the biggest turn-off and nothing will make me find another dancer faster than this. I understand the need to make money, I understand the basic hustle, but I'm sure we have ALL seen when it becomes straight up nagging. I do not like going to a sc to relax and have a good time, and I have to get defenisive about not wanted a dance or whatever. There is a point where it DOES feel like I'm in a used car parking lot being pressured into buying a car I want nothing to do with.

    I think he brought up a valid point. No one should be bashing him, b/c he's just voicing his opinion. If you don't agree, say so, but no need to attack the guy.






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    Default Re: Don't hate us

    If I hated this job I sure as hell wont be doing it. I like this job but I like the money more. Sales is also planting a seed..ie. making them laugh or something about you that stood out so that they come back and buy more. Like you HR I bite my toingue sometimes too and have to go through the ups and downs of this job.

    But somewhere in between the nice conversation, great dances, and laughter Im there to make money whether he wants to dream Im his GF or hes my foot slut I'll always want to make money. I dont like to look down on custys - but frankly some are just pure a-hole but others are really fun to meet. I like most customers if they werent there Id be broke.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't hate us

    Do I like the job? Sometimes. Do I like my customers? Sometimes. However - and this is what might seem like a small point - I don't owe sincere affection or well wishes to my customers. I don't OWE it to my customers to like them. If you want sincere affection, go out and find a girlfriend. If you want a a girl friend experience, or a sexual gratification in exchange for money come see us. From us you get feigned affection - if we actually felt even moderate affection for all our customers you guys would be eating us alive. From the perspective of our mental health that would be a very bad idea (and I say this advisedly).
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Veteran Member vegasbebe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't hate us

    I like my job, and customers can contribute to what makes my day good or bad.

    If someone understands that I am at work, and they have to pay me for my time, and they have to, I don't know, keep their hands OFF me, then I have fun

    When customers try to pet me, or are cheap, then yes, I have a bad day.

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    Default Re: Don't hate us

    The same goes for us dancers...when we want to date and be treated like a GF, we'll go find a BF and BE a GF. At work, I like a pleasant atmosphere but I don't like it when it a custy tries to get too intimate and perpetrate the GF/BF experience.

    It's a business transaction and a fantasy. I sell the fantasy and you buy it. Doesn't mean I hate it, just means that I don't want you thinking it's something it's not. This way no lines get blurred and I'm free to move on to another custy if I so choose.

    And I like getting presents and such from custies trying to date me, but I prefer cash. This is my LIVING after all and a dozen long stems won't pay my rent.

    You seem to be very sweet, but I just don't feel like I'm being exploited so just go in and have your fun. We'll be fine.

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    Member hopeless romantic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't hate us

    You are completely right, nobody has the right to demand a stripper be their real GF, though it is perhaps forgivable if they get a bit swept up in the illusion, and you all have perfect rights to your boundaries. But hey, I like to be nice to the cashier at McD's and presume some minor good will between strangers, so hey, I am hopeless.

    Basically I read a post by one girl who put a lipstick 'L' on one guy's forehead becasue he didn't buy a dance, and sort of freaked out a tad, but you all aren't responsible for one grouchy girl. Its just that you know, most guys don't even know how you all are paid, and don't want to short change anybody- when you go to a bar with a band and pay cover, you assume they get paid.

    I did some direct sales once (replacement windows actually) and I remember that some of the best salesmen were the nastiest about their clients behind their backs. I guess it helps ease the extra deception that can make a pitch more effective when you psych yourself up to dislike the customer, makes pushing them feel easier. That's always the temptation in sales, but its good to remember we're all people here. Of course, I sucked at direct sales. And for you ladies, with as many gropy drunks as you must get it must be easy to get a prickly shell, hell one story about a mean stripper trick makes me pretty wary.

    Best of luck and sorry if I offended.

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    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't hate us

    HR, you TOTALLY misunderstood that sotry. THe guy wasted the dancer's time, then told her he didn't intend to buy dances with anyone. THat he was "just looking." That is NOT the same as walking into a radio shack and telling the commissioned sales person there that you are just looking. In that situation, just looking means you are considering a purchase. ANd the sales person can go back to whatever else she was doing. You don't actaully get to use a product without paying for it.

    In a strip club, there is a show going on all the time. In that case "Just looking" means the guy is there to look at pretty half-nakid girls for free, watch the stage show with out tipping, and probably get off watching somebody else's table dance. In short, he is there to ENJOY THE PRODUCT WITHOUT PAYING FOR IT. It's more like a guy sitting in a restaurant and eating half a meal, then telling the waitress he consideres that a free sample.

    Also, window sales is not the same as SC sales. With window sales, you are selling a porduct. In SC sales, you are selling a service. Two different worlds. As good as I am at sales, I am not all that good at selling products. Even if your coworkers in the window biz were hot girls, they woudl not be very successful strippers.


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    When you perform... you are out of yourself--larger and more potent, more beautiful. You are for minutes heroic. This is power. This is glory on earth. And it is yours, nightly.

    --Agnes De Mille

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    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't hate us

    Quote Originally Posted by hopeless romantic

    Hey, some of my clients are jerks and I have to bite my tongue and be professional and courteous when I want to tell them off,
    That right there is why I do not do a straight job. Of all the things that could cause stres in a workplace, that is the one thing I cannot handle.

    Telling that one guy in ten where to get off makes it easier for me to cope with the other 9. ANd after I tell a loser where to put it, I can put it behind me and go sit happily with my nice guys, rather than have to bite my tongue and then sit and steam in a bad mood the rest of the day.


    My MySpace Page:


    When you perform... you are out of yourself--larger and more potent, more beautiful. You are for minutes heroic. This is power. This is glory on earth. And it is yours, nightly.

    --Agnes De Mille

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    Moderator yoda57us's Avatar
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    Default Re: Don't hate us

    Quote Originally Posted by hopeless romantic
    I guess I like to be a nice guy, and want strippers not to think I'm their boyfriend, but still a nice guy, and I sure don't want to exploit anybody.
    I've managed to pull that off for over 20 years. Just treat the ladies well, respect their limits and let them take the lead both in the dance department and in the convo department-don't push them for personal info etc. You won't hit it off with every dancer you meet but most ladies look forward to seeing thier good customers. Most of all be realistic and honest with yourself as well as the ladies. Leave the angst at home.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

  26. #25
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    Default Re: Don't hate us

    I used to work in retail at a very high end store and we would have our "regulars" and wham bam one time customers and everything in between. We would approach them all flirty and how are you and blahblahblah and wow have you lost weight and that looks soooo good on you and so on...but once we were in back out of site, it would be that fucking bitch this or that fucking asshole that or really all the stuff I hear the girls griping about on this site without the obvious sexual intimacy and nakedness. So I do commisserate with you women and can understand what its like to have some really nice older lady come in with no money to really just chat and have some human contact when what your real agenda is is to make money from the obvious buyer you have never seen before. The big difference between the sales jobs was my customers knew what I was selling, how I chose to sell it was my business. With dancers each of you sells dances but no where in the club does it say "customers are required to buy a minimum of two dances", it may require the purchase of drinks and a customer can understand that but many many of your customers ladies may not know what they are supposed to be giving money for. So since it is up to you to figure out how to sell dances since that is the product, many of you create false relationships and intimacy and I honestly love that since selling an intangible might be the hardest of sales....and yes many many guys are emotionally immature and can barely talk to women dressed let alone naked but one thing that does come across from time to time from this site (and that is your right because it is your site) is that the goal of stripping is not just about money but taking advantage of idiots who don't know any better. It creates suspicion amoungst customers that ALL dancers are like this. I know they're not, all people are different, however, I actually met a dancer very recently who from the get go seemed to be following a script verbatim from this site and goodness what a turn off, I could almost see her thinking about what to say and then guaging my response and lastly I could see her coming here to gripe about how I only gave her two dances and what wrong with her and how cheap guys are and she only made $50.00 for twenty minutes. The bottom line is you all are selling intimacy. Intimacy requires time. In some respects it really is the clubs fault that the selling cannot be more honest...such as "girlfriends for hire by the hour....$200.00" or whatever. Or "talk to a pretty girl...$20 every five minutes, tips expected".

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