Did anyone object to you becoming a dancer?....My family said they would disown me if I ever became an exotic dancer. But it's something I really want to do. Did anyone else have this problem?
Did anyone object to you becoming a dancer?....My family said they would disown me if I ever became an exotic dancer. But it's something I really want to do. Did anyone else have this problem?



Parents just want whats best for their offsping,its just natural. You are going to have to make decisions in your life whether people may object or not,its your life. I personally wouldn't "tell" them,id just do it.If latter you feel you have to or want to disclose what you are doing and they object...oh well life goes on. Im sure they wont disown you,it would be too hard for many parents to do. Sure they may not like it,but they would still love you im sure.
Then again if you are living under their roof its a different story.
Thanks
Everybody I knew was against it. I was told I would become a strung out crack whore. I am doing fine and I only let certain people know that I dance. I have not told my sister who is very judgemental, and I will get around to telling my mom, she will understand. Good luck.
K8T
I was told i'd become a crack whore to?...I don't really understand that one. just because you dance means your a crack whore?....But thanks for your advice.
My mom is actually suportive of me dancing. But we never told my step father. As far as he knows im a waitress in a SC. My bf was a little against it but hes come around about it. If you dont live with your family maybe just tell them your waitressing insted? But you have to make sure this is something you really want and you are able to live with no matter what happens.
Well I have yet to start, but my ex bf when i was 17-18 told me he'd leave me if I ever did, so I didn't (sooo young and stupid) my hubby right now wants me to go for it and he's been awesomely supportive, even if strip clubs aren't his "thing". I doubt my parents would be supportive and neither will my brother (they are old fashioned hardcore filipino catholic) but I'm gonna tell them right away when I do start and tell them where. I say let them know and back it up with good self empowering reasons and help them understand. Refute all their misconceptions with fact. That's what I always do. It's helped my mom cope with all my life's escapades by letting her know I haven't regressed in brain matter![]()
I haven't told my family or the people in my program at school. I've told my close friends though and some of them don't completely approve but they are still being supportive.
Most people don't tell their parents everything, so you shouldn't feel bad if you have to fib a little by saying you work in a bar (which is true for most sc's).




If they're the kind of parents who would disown a child of theirs for career choice, they should have gotten you adopted right out of the womb by people who actually wanted a *kid* and not, you know, a will-less robot.
They might just be making empty threats.
Either way they sound like they're probably not worth your honesty and respect. Dance and lie, if you think you have something to gain from keeping contact with your parents (which you might, if they're just bluffing.)
If you don't think they're just bluffing, I in your place would break off contact myself and let them know that they're welcome to pursue contact when they're willing to take family ties over their personal vanity. I.e., when they grow the hell up.
But I have a kind of strange relationship with my parents. They expected to be raising a housecat, and when it was clear that I was an ocelot or something, they shrugged and got mad a lot. I finally made it pretty clear to them that I'm good at taking care of my own life, when given the opportunity -- and now they are capable of disapproving WITHOUT flipping out on me. Good for them.
Just told them I dance, last visit. My dad flipped out a *little* but was civil and friendly by the time of last phone call. My mom didn't flip out at all. This is the result of years of carefully doing all the things that parents hate and honestly letting them know about my lifestyle at every turn (bisexual, poor bohemian, pagan, open relationships, responsible drug use, dating people 20 years older than me . . . I think they've been through Da Trial O' Fire, man.)
Thanks for all your advice it's helping me out alot!
the crack whore comment was made because a lot of people don't think very highly of exotic dancers. they think that all dancers are whores and are all strung out on drugs...or worse.
i personally would be open and honest with people about what i do...and if they truely loved me they wouldn't treat me diffently...or disown me (i say me because i'm a recluse most of the time and don't need people who don't really care around me if all they'll do is dog me...you may be different. some people need friends and family regardless of how they get treated...i don't). on the other hand, not telling those who object works for some.
this mindset is something that comes with the business and you have to be strong enough to handle it. some people won't hesitate to tell you what they think of you and if you wear your heart on your sleave (sp), you'll be hurt and sad all of the time. that my dear is not a good thing.
all i'm saying is not everyone will agree with your life choices. you have to decide if you're going to live your life to please them...or live your life pleasing you.
(and if i came across a little harsh...i apologize. i've heard/read a lot of stories from the ladies here about disownment, abandonment, and disrespect from family and 'friends' and get more than a little irritated by people who would mistreat or walk away from a loved one just because of an occupational choice, and the stereotypes attached that are only true for some...not all dancers.)
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Last edited by MsTopaz; 11-13-2005 at 08:23 AM.
why do some people still have to fight to get the same opportunities that are given to others?
reclusiveness...is a good thing.
the greatest revenge in the world...is success.
You were not harsh at all...actual you made me realize something very important, I do things for me not anyone else, and i'm going to please myself over trying to please others. thanks
My personal opinion on this one...............If this is something that you absolutely want to do than go out and do it! This is YOUR life and YOU make the decisions in it. No one can tell you that you are being degraded or will become a "crack whore" because that's up to you to decide! If your parents don't approve of your job than that's something they'll have to deal with, but i would tell them. I think i'd start, work a few weeks, and then tell them about it. My sister told me she'd disown me if i ever danced. I know how it feels and i know the fear involved. I love her dearly and never want to disappoint her or loose her from my life. But at some point i have to make that decision and realize that i can't let her run my life. I can't fear that she'll leave me because she's chosen to be closeminded. I have to grow up and take my life into my own hands.
What matters is that I'm fine with what i do, I enjoy it and make decent money. My husband is fine with it and is happy i've found something i enjoy doing. I've told my mother and she understands, she's not thrilled, but is supportive. And as soon as my sister is done going through all the crap she is with an exploratory surgery and being severly sick i'll tell her. I don't think she needs the added stress as of now, but i do think she deserves to know as well as I deserve to be able to tell her. I am proud of what i do. I think i'm working my ass off and am putting in a lot of effort to be good at my job. If i'm comfortable than it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks!
Good luck and let us know how it goes!
"When life gets rough turn up the music and dance a little"
I Train Mixed Martial Arts!
I'll tell my parents eventually, but for now I tell them I cocktail and they've never asked me anything. But I'm pretty upfront about what I do to friends and such. My boyfriend knows and I know I could never keep it from him. He's learning to deal with it because aside from providing money for us to come visit each other(He's in Chandler, I'm in Tucson) he also knows it's finally a job I enjoy and look forward to going to. He also likes to imagine all the little naughty things I could do for him in private as well.....![]()
My friends and some other people know and they're fine with it. My family is 2000 miles away so I don't subject them to it; it's not that I'm ashamed of it, but it's not the kind of thing they would want to know and there's just no reason to tell them. It's none of their business. If they found out and asked me, I would be honest and deal with it from there; otherwise, no point in bringing it up.
Thanks Everyone!
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