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Thread: I have a great girlfriend, I feel a bit guilty

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    Newbie mdl76's Avatar
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    Default I have a great girlfriend, I feel a bit guilty

    Hello all,
    I'm new here and new to dancing. See, about 3 months ago I was a engineer. I started to get very depressed because of my job. traveling, being away from home and in a job I hated made me start to hate life. So I just walked out on my job. Im currently studing to get my personal trainning certification but I wanted to start making cash right now(since I have been jobless for 3 months) so, I just started stripping.

    Im a male and I'm dancing in a predominately gay bar. I myself am striaght and I have a girlfriend I love very much. Before I quite my job as a engineer, she totally wanted me to leave my job and start stripping because she knew I would be a happier person. At first, I was going to dance at ladies (custys) only bar, but I decided to dance at a gay bar for 2 reasons: 1. from what I learned, gay men tip much better then ladies, and 2. Since im striaght, I knew my girlfriend would handle it much better. Now that I have started, I really get this felling she is a bit jealous. This is making me feel a bit guilty but I hope her feelings will subside in a month or so when she sees there is nothing to worry about. Im dancing on men which does nothing for me and I dont want anyone but her. I have never cheated on her or would I ever because she is satisfying to me in every way. She is what I always desired and I love her with all my heart. She is only 21 and im 29, so maybe cause she is younger, that may play into it also.

    I want to keep dancing because I really like to be in the spotlight and dancing is the only thing I can do where im good at it. I get a feeling of satisfaction and enjoyment out of this job choice. I made good $$ for not even trying and I could not get over the fact that people give me $20 to dance on them for 1 song. Also like I said, I needed a job that paid well to pay the bills, but im not ever going back to a day job. I currenlty have about $1900 a month in bills and dancing will easily pay that for me.

    So anyways, I think soon, the feelings of guilt will wear off and she will be more secure with what I do. I will add that she is a bartender and gets hit on all the time when she works, hell, with her nice fake boobs and skimpy outfits, I dont blame them. But I trust her and know she loves me, I think soon she'll see it the same.

    This post is not really a question of any kind. I just felt like spilling my guts to some people that may have been in the same boat early in there career. I do feel better now. thanks for listening and if youd like to add a comment or 2, that would make me

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    Featured Member evan_essence's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a great girlfriend, I feel a bit guilty

    Perhaps you're already doing this, but now that you're much happier and less stressed, I'd suggest sharing some of your new upbeat perspective by doing special things for her. Ya know, flowers, romantic dinners, notes, etc. Doesn't have to be real fancy or contrived, just up the attention a bit in ways that are natural for you and your relationship. And be sure to compliment her on her moral support for your job change. I would think these things would help her by reinforcing that you're happier, showing her that she benefits when you're happier, and giving her piece of mind that your attention is still fixed on her.

    -Ev

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    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a great girlfriend, I feel a bit guilty

    ^^^^^ totally was about to say that. Whenever I'm being irrationally jealous, my boyfriend just takes a little extra time to reassure me. He leaves little notes on my hair dryer or on my favorite pair of sheos for me to find int he morning, brings him small bouquets of flowers, even something as simple as he'll stop to rent a movie I really liked on his way home. Then I get embarassed for being all jealous, but it does make it go away!

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    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a great girlfriend, I feel a bit guilty

    I am uneasy for you about her jealousy and yet she is in the sticky situation regarding temptation. Has she been in your club while ypou are working? Would it make her feelings worse or more realistic? What is she saying to her girlfriends? Anyhow your reassurances to her would be good. But you should be realistic about her environment too by casual observation.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Senior Member Abbeynormal's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a great girlfriend, I feel a bit guilty

    Is she jealous because you're dancing at a gay club, or is she jealous because you're dancing at all? Seems to me I would be more worried if you were at a ladies' club.
    "This above all: to thine own self be true."

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    Featured Member Lizette's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a great girlfriend, I feel a bit guilty

    I don't know why she's jealous. You love her. You are committed to her. You are not gay.

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    Newbie mdl76's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a great girlfriend, I feel a bit guilty

    evan_essence, thanks so much for the ideas! you all help me to understand ladies(like my girlfriend) much better. I really appreciate you all for the feedback. I'm going to get her some flowers tonight... when she gets home from work she will be so happy. I think a doz. roses sounds good.

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    Newbie mdl76's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a great girlfriend, I feel a bit guilty

    I totally trust her at her job. She actually rarely goes out other than going to work... maybe thats it. she has to much idle time to think about it

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    Senior Member Marcy's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a great girlfriend, I feel a bit guilty

    ^^^ oh yes!!! Maybe while you are at work she is home alone and feels a little lonely so she conjures up thoughts because you are out having fun and getting paid while she is home with nothing to do. I know when I have free time I may think about things I normally wouldnt If I were busy. There will be days when you will be home alone and vice versa. Most important is to make time for each other so you know even through the daily grind, you still think about spending some quality time together

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    Veteran Member girlnew156's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a great girlfriend, I feel a bit guilty

    Damn, I am glad that I wasn't the only one who left a good paying but essentially a dead end job.
    Yeah, babe, had a marriage, kids, job, career, and left it all.

    Damn, continue with your dreams, continue!!
    Don't ever settle for complacent existence, NO!!
    Don't be dead before your time.

    To me, you are doint the rght thing.
    You would become a fuller person for it.

    No, NO, NO. Don't feel guilty, Never feel guilty!!

    If I had another chance, I would not change a thing.
    I felt that I had done the right thing, I never looked back.

    One day, I picked up my babies and left the house.
    And that was that. Ne Plus Ultra!!

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    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a great girlfriend, I feel a bit guilty

    I remember myself at 21--I was incredibly jealous. Part of it might jsut be her age. I agree with the ohter ladies--jsut be nice to her and help her feel comfortable. It will porbably work out OK.


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    --Agnes De Mille

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    Newbie mdl76's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a great girlfriend, I feel a bit guilty

    hello agian all... its all good now... after a week on the job she is fine.... i believe she sees that there is nothing to worry about... also, Im working the same nights she is so that works out great! Thank you all for your kind support!

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    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have a great girlfriend, I feel a bit guilty

    I think you should dump her. She has no say in what you can and cannot do with your life. She is just being immature and you don't have to deal with that. There is no reason why you need to deal with some insecure child. She is just holding you back.
    Last edited by Deogol; 11-21-2005 at 06:32 AM.

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