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Thread: What should I do?

  1. #1
    Member AussieMiranda's Avatar
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    Default What should I do?

    A month ago a friend of 9 years asked me if she could borrow $1000 for the bond on her new place that she would be moving into with her boyfriend. I said okay, since I'm a dancer I knew that she knew that I had the money. Thing is she said she would give it back in two weeks. Four weeks has now passed and she is not answering my calls or sms. I am leving for the UK in 6 weeks and time is running out. What should I do? Regardless that I am a dancer, $1000 is still a lot of money and I have my own things to pay for before I leave for the UK. I am really getting quite stressed about this. I feel so stupid too but because I have known her for so long I really throught I could trust her. I usually NEVER lend money to people but made an exception for her cause she sounded so desparate.

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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I do?

    Was this loan officially documented ? If this loan was made based on a phone call and a handshake, I'd say your options are limited to #1 making phone calls that won't be answered and 'writing off' the loss when you leave the country, or #2 taking a few intimidating friends with you to your friend's place of work or new apartment.

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    Default Re: What should I do?

    Go to her place ask for the $. If she gives you a song and dance about it tell her you need some collateral for what she ows you. Take a possesion of hers she truly treasures,tell her she will get it back when she gives you the $. Whats fair is fair. And she should go along with this if she truely intends to pay back the $ owed to you.
    I personally never lend out $ to friends,no matter how close,and they know it too.

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    Member AussieMiranda's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I do?

    I have documents of the money being taken out (ie the bank slip from the atm) I also have kept all of the sms she sent me asking for the money including when she said it would be paid back by. hmmm...these are all good options guys. I will kept you posted. This is the first and only time I have ever lent money to anyone...at least I learnt my lesson I guess.

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    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I do?

    Listen to melonie. I dunno how Oz laws work, but contact a lawyer and find out what you can do legally.

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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I do?

    If nothing else, it sounds like you've got enough documentation to start legal action if you wanted to try. Perhaps just the threat is enough. On the other hand, if your friend knows that you're leaving the country in a few weeks, she also knows she's safe from legal action unless you cancel your plans to go to the UK and stay in OZ instead just to try and get your money back !

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I do?

    Wow... a friend of nine years?!
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Veteran Member Natalia108's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I do?

    oh no miss banks thats not like you at all..

    i hate when you do the right thing ppl just use it too their advantage and then turn their back on you.. friend or not i would be going around there tho sort this crap out..
    thats so not fair n she shouldnt of done this too you and knowing that you are leaving soon is just adding added stress that you dont need..

    i can see how you cant really take legal action and why you wouldnt want to after all she is ment 2 be a friend.. maybe go too her work or her house if shes not answering and sort it out face 2 face rather then over the phone..

    sorry 2 hear bout this i hope it works out .. see ya at work hun cheer up!

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    Member AussieMiranda's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I do?

    Yes nine years...been friends all through school since year 8. Thanks Melonie for your advice, I think I will threaten her first and see what happens, if not I will just have to cut my losses I guess and know never to lend money to people again cause I'm not really gonna cancel this trip to stay back here and fight it in court. I'll keep you posted guys!

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    Member AussieMiranda's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I do?

    I took your advice Melonie and wrote an sms threatening legal action, I said I had no other choice since she was not giving it back to me. I got no answer. Next thing I decide to ring her. She answered and was like "what messages and phone calls, I didn't get any, my phone must be playing up." Yea right I thought. Anway she was like "I'm sorry for the delay but I am a poor student and don't have the money but I will by monday." I felt like saying, well what would you have done for the bond money if I hadn't lent it to you. Honestly she is meant to be an adult. Regardless I just got a msg then saying that she has the money and I have to drive across town (an hour away) tonight to go pick it up cause she is going interstate tommorrow for a couple weeks. What bull. NEVER AGAIN!!!

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    Senior Member nicole4's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I do?

    yes this is a lesson I have had to learn the hard way also...it often costs you a friendship to lend a friend money..sigh
    and then we feel bad when we have to press to get it back, they are playing on our friendship and history...they wouldnt pull this crap with a bank or stranger.

    happy it worked out for you have a good trip

    Nicole
    As I have matured,I have learned "that one good turn....usually gets most of the blankets",-)

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    Default Re: What should I do?

    Well I hope you're getting the money back now, considering the time of your last post. The lesson here is that if you want to REALLY find out if you're friends or not, lend them some money.

    People like this often like to ask their stripper friend to "borrow" money because A) they know we have it and B) they think we're rolling in cash, so if they "can't" pay it back, we won't miss it If you tell them you don't lend money to friends when they ask, they lay a guilt trip on you and act like it's no sweat for you to just hand out cash left and right - yeah maybe that OTHER friend burned you but I'm different! Yeah right.

    From now on tell them to ask their parents, you can't afford to give it away.

    Never lend money unless you can afford to lose it.

    I'm sorry this happened. Hopefully it's gonna work out this time tho. Either way take it as a lesson not to mix friends and money.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
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    Default Re: What should I do?

    Write it off as a lesson learned. We all do it. It's not wrong to try.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

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    Default Re: What should I do?

    I definetly have to agree with you nicole and bridgette. Yes I am getting all the money back tonight. See another thing if she didn't have it I would have let her pay it back in small amounts over time but she had to be a mole about it. Oh well...should be in my pocket soon.

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    Default Re: What should I do?

    You are not alone... I once lent money to a "friend" to help pay for one of her boy friends fines (so he wouldn't be deported,) he was supposed to give something for collateral to her for her to give to me.. Of course "he" never gave it to her so she thought nothing of it. When I mentioned the money she got mad and said I lent the moeny to him not her.. Interesting how she asked for the money not him, I gave her the money not him, she was supposed to get the item, never did.
    yep, I don't lend any more unless I don't care to see it again.
    Hope you got that money, keep us posted!
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



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    Featured Member LilSweetVixen's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I do?

    I'm glad she had the money. It sounds like she couldn't come up with it and got nervous, so she started ignoring calls until she got a hold of it cuz she knew you were mad. Then she knew she'd say she didn't get any message until she actually had the money. I think she shouldn't have said 2 weeks if she knew she couldn't make the deadline, or she should have told you to give her another week. Next time like Melonie said just write it out, have her sign it.

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    Featured Member greggy's Avatar
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    Default Re: What should I do?

    I learned this from an episode of Sex and the City: "Friends and money don't mix..." said by Charlotte to Carrie.

    The only person I've ever lent money to was my mother, who is very business like when borrowing even $2, pays me back w/ interest (I lend $2, get $5 back), and she has bailed me out more times than I can count (not out of jail). If it's not an amount that I can bear to part with ($5 b/c my buddy is short at the movies), then I don't lend it.

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    Default Re: What should I do?

    I ended up getting the money back, the whole time I was at her place though she acted like there wasn't ever a problem. At least I have it now and thats one less thing i have to stress about before heading off to Europe.

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