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Thread: want2dance, bf against it

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    want2dance, bf against it

    im would really like to dance but my bf thinks that my body should b for his eyes only. i see his point of view but i think it would be so much fun, a chance to explore another side of myself and stuf. i dont want to go behind his back but im torn...

    did anyone else have problem like this? neone got ne advice?!

    also would appreciate if u could let me kno if i got what it takes...my body isnt great at the mo as i could do with toning up plus my boobs r only 30d is that too small? im not sure as ppl have always described me as cute more than nethin else and i dont kno if i would make ne money!!!

    thanx

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    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: want2dance, bf against it

    You're way more in shape than me. And if 30d isn't a typo, your breasts are bigger than most strippers' without implants.

    Do a search for "boyfriend" or just scroll back in this forum to see other answers, this question comes up about once a week!

  3. #3
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: want2dance, bf against it

    You're adorable. And your boyfriend doesn't own you.

    Maybe you should suggest that he is for you only and he shouldn't go out and work; see what he thinks of that. I wish I could understand why so many women are so accepting of stupid possessive male demands. It's like our entire gender just agrees that yes, they ought to be able to tell us exactly how we should live just because we like them. Utter bullshit in my opinion.

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    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: want2dance, bf against it

    Sounds familiar...

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    Veteran Member Serendipity7's Avatar
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    Default Re: want2dance, bf against it

    I think if you went out and auditioned today you'd get hired at most clubs. I say go for it - take care of your needs. You are your own person, you don't belong to anyone, and at the end, all you'll have left is yourself.

    If this is something that you really have a strong desire to do, don't brush it off only to regret it later.

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    Default Re: want2dance, bf against it

    thanx guys...

    i think im gonna think about it some more and talk to him too - i asked him if it would bother him if i did some life modelling a while ago and he didnt like it. he explained to me that him not wanting other guys to look at me was the same as me not wanting him to look at other girls...in a way i think he is right because it is the male instinct to look at other girls and female instinct to be looked at, so really we should both make the effort..(as yes, i am a jealous girlie!) also, i think its true cause i kno if i started dancing then i wouldnt care as much if he looked at other girls (it would stil bother me tho)...

    corsica fire, i read ur post and i found it similar to my situation- i am 22 and he is 27, and i also believ him to be the one. ive already had the 'love of my life' experience and learned enough painful lessons from that to know what is good and what is bad for me in terms of love..and from what ive been thro with my current bf i kno ive found someone so special. if i can ask, what happened with ur situation?

    chaos fairy - my boobs are 30d but thats not so big really (only equiv size to 34b or 36a) also, they look small caus my body (+butt!!!) is big!!! lol!!!

    thanx so much u guys really appreciate ur comments..this place is so supportive its great!!

  7. #7
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: want2dance, bf against it

    Unfortunately, I just posted what I wrote him in my last email. I ended it. It started with not wanting me to strip, to more control and manipulation.

    But maybe it wasn't so unfortunate. I was so wrapped up in the wrong guy that I thought was "The One" that the man who has stood strong and silent by my side through all this has captured my heart. I believe I needed to meet my ex so that my best friend who stood there with me without just telling me what I wanted to hear could prove how wonderful he is. I finally broke down and confessed how I felt about my friend to his face and I feel so much better

    And pinkfairy, girl, youre gorgeous. We dancers are the ones lucky enough to have the look for this job. Many people will try to put you down because theyre JEALOUS. You are gorgeous, I hope we have an update from you soon saying you got a job at a club somewhere soon

  8. #8
    Cally
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    Default Re: want2dance, bf against it

    I went through this with my man. I explained the pros and cons, told him im not attracted to the guys, they cant touch me blah blah blah... then we compromised. His main thing was not wanting guys looking at my pussy. So I said id wear a skirt and flash it once n awhile. He agreed. If there were topless clubs here id probably be there.. And he said hed be okay. Anyway talk to him, maybe compromise, if there are topless clubs in your area dance there. Do a search this has been a topic of much discussion.
    And btw you have a nice body... that wont hold you back.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: want2dance, bf against it

    Okay, the old lady may have something to say about this...

    I wanted to dance when I was 22. I met "the man of my dreams" and he had a real problem with the idea of me being a dancer. Because I had never done it, I just shruged it off. Well, he and I got married. We had a difference of opinion as to what exactly the wife's role was in the relationship, and what the husband's role should be. Apparently he thought it was the wife's job to cook, clean and work two full time jobs to pay the bills, while the husband sat around the house and watched TV, and would occasionally raise some money by illegal means. And if the wife gets out of line then he felt he needed to correct my behavior by a nice slap across the cheek or possibly a shove against a wall, to keep me in line.

    Anyhow, four years into this marriage I left. Nothing changed and I was tired of working all the time, and then being abused when I did get a few minutes to relax. I started dancing about a year after that, and have been having a great time dancing ever since (that was over 7 years ago).

    Now I am with a terrific guy whom I've been married to for 5 years! We are both well matched and I'm glad that I am still dancing. I was joking with a guy this evening about how I plan on dancing until I'm 75 or 80. So long as the plastic surgeons can keep lifting and tightening everything, I'm good!


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  10. #10
    exotisch23
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    Default Re: want2dance, bf against it

    Quote Originally Posted by pinkbutterfly
    also would appreciate if u could let me kno if i got what it takes...my body isnt great at the mo as i could do with toning up plus my boobs r only 30d is that too small? im not sure as ppl have always described me as cute more than nethin else and i dont kno if i would make ne money!!!

    thanx

    You are gorgeous sweetie! You definetely have the right look although it's not always about looks but more hustle & game. I've seen a 200lb. woman walk out of the club with way more $$$ than me on some nights. But she was extremely aggressive.

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    God/dess KamrynAnne's Avatar
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    Default Re: want2dance, bf against it

    don't hide it from him... if he finds out things will get ugly.. trust me, i tried that route... i lied my ass out.. things only got worse.. if you really need the money and he isn't supporting you financially, then you gotta do what u gotta do... which is take care of yourself if he isn't for you....

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    Default Re: want2dance, bf against it

    I went back to dancing in August but before that I had a bf who was actually a nice guy BBUUTT when it came to me going back into dancing he told me "I just dont see it as a real job".

    Damn did that piss me off. This job is just as hard as any other job and you get to get sexuall harrased all the time too. Strippers are tough damnit. Anyways, so I said bye bye bf and hello money. I dumped him in an email because he wasnt worth a phone call for that.

    If he couldnt respect me for making clear and good adult choices then there was an obvious problem. So, to you I say dont let anything hold you back. You want to dance...dance.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: want2dance, bf against it

    Quote Originally Posted by pinkbutterfly
    im would really like to dance but my bf thinks that my body should b for his eyes only. i see his point of view but i think it would be so much fun, a chance to explore another side of myself and stuf. i dont want to go behind his back but im torn...
    Heheh I'm going to lighten the mood up with a very serious reply.

    ms. butterfly, your image not withstanding, you look young, and well, you only live once. Your bf needs to understand that wondering "what if" is sometimes the most dangerous question in a relationship. You only stand to gain from becoming a dancer, you gain money, you gain confidence, a sense of self, sexuality, and a sense of realism. Some dancers don't, true, but if you do it right, you will. BOYFRIENDS come and go. You're stuck with yourself for as long as you live. So what do YOU think you should do?


    Quote Originally Posted by pinkbutterfly
    did anyone else have problem like this? neone got ne advice?!
    Well my bf was very turned on when I told him I wanted to dance, but I danced in a nude club...and well, thats when he, and an unsuspecting lap dance customer found out I was really a man.

    Truth is a LOT of people have this problem. Its an overwhelming sense of care for others while a lack of sense of self.

    He's your bf, not your husband or your dad. I don't know how long you two have been together, but whether its dancing or forklift operating, he should support you REGARDLESS whether he wants you to do it or not. Thats respect and support. Anything else is jealousy and ignorance. Again, not bad, but he'll get over it. Or he'll break up with you which would be for the better, for both you and him. Dancing wont be the last thing you'll want to try that may cause turmoil.


    Quote Originally Posted by pinkbutterfly
    also would appreciate if u could let me kno if i got what it takes...my body isnt great at the mo as i could do with toning up plus my boobs r only 30d is that too small? im not sure as ppl have always described me as cute more than nethin else and i dont kno if i would make ne money!!!
    Uhm yea, I think you'd do ok. But that last paragraph makes it sound like you really arent worried what he thinks about your dancing, just makes the whole post sound as if you want to know if he's going to break up with you for it and you want validation that he would be wrong for breaking up with you for becoming a dancer. Well he would be wrong.

    I broke up with a girl of my dreams because she tried hash brownies once. I still wonder where she is to this day, but she tried it at a party, and after that we still where together for a couple of weeks before she told me.

    Who was ignorant there? her for trying the brownies? or me for not respecting she was a person.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Member blonddarlin's Avatar
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    Default Re: want2dance, bf against it

    Pinkbutterfly, you're absolutely gorgeous-- and I danced (shortly, but nevertheless) with 34A's, and did quite well. There are plently of guys that like natural. As a matter of fact, I think you're better looking than me... so therefore logic would indicate that you would do even better.
    Good luck with whatever you decide.

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    Veteran Member susie's Avatar
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    Default Re: want2dance, bf against it

    I haven't read through all of the comments yet, so if this is a repeat, my bad. I wanted to let you know, that if he didn't want others to see your body, then he would not photograph your body. What he wants, is to controll your body. Totally different, and he shold get honest with you and hisself.
    Susie

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    God/dess KamrynAnne's Avatar
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    Default Re: want2dance, bf against it

    totally agree Susie... u couldn't have said it better..... this is complete hypocracy.. as i have been down this road as well....

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    Default Re: want2dance, bf against it

    thanx everyone !!

    wel, i am stil thinkin about it...wondering whether it is really for me after all....

    x

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    Featured Member Lizette's Avatar
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    Default Re: want2dance, bf against it

    Ironic that he doesn't want anyone to look at you ... considering your pictures are posted on this thread. You are a beautiful woman. People will stare at you no matter what. You might as well get paid for it.

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    Default Re: want2dance, bf against it

    I'm going through a similar situation too....I currently model (magazing/print, and promo) and the bf hates it. However, when you live with him, and he makes all the money while paying for everything...it's hard to disagree w/ hin. There is always a power-holder in a relationship, and they have that power usually from money.

    I want to dance. If I was single, I would be doing it. School bills are thru the roof and I need to do what's best for me. It's just hard thinking of giving up a relationship for fanancial need.

    Have you considered other options? Or do you feel dancing is the way to go. If it is, you are young and beautiul. Think of all the $$$ and independence! ahhh....I wish I could listen to my own advice.......

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    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: want2dance, bf against it

    It's just hard thinking of giving up a relationship for fanancial need.
    Not when you KNOW there are plenty of fish in the sea ....and that while it may take awhile to find the next 'one' (many years even)... it will happen. No human being (unless you are hermit and/or really socially awkward) goes thru this life without eventually finding 'a mate'

    I'm reminded of a story I saw on the news... really old couple (over 60) who had lost contact with each other for 20 odd years found each other and got married

    Money is not the be all and end all however when you are without it ... you do everything can do to have it. It's just that I feel that ultimately I have to look out for me therefore I must make 'harsh/hard' decisions and that may or may not include relationships with people because of it.


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