When you say "you're the nicest person I know" you really mean "I'm pretty sure it could be worse."
When you ask "are we lost?" you really mean "will anyone ever see us alive again?"
When you say "you look good" you really mean "please don't try on another outfit. I'm bored and starving."
When you say "Help, I can't find it" you really mean "I haven't tripped over it, so I'm totally clueless."
When you say "I got you something" you really mean "it was free with a full tank of gas."
When you say "yes I like it" you really mean "what have you done to yourself this time?"
When you say "what's wrong?" you really mean "what self-induced trauma are you going through now?"
When you say "Do you want help cooking dinner?" you really mean "Where's my plate and why aren't we eating yet?"
When you say "Umm hmm" you mean absolutely nothing. You weren't paying attention.
When you say "looks like we're running late" you really mean "and now I have a reason to drive like a maniac."
When you say "it's a really good movie" you really mean "it's got violence and nudity."
When you say "hey I've got my reasons" you really mean "and I hope I can think of them pretty soon."



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