Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: Twelve Days of Christmas

  1. #1
    Sitri
    Guest

    Default Twelve Days of Christmas

    December 14, 2003


    Dearest Dave,

    I went to the door today, and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. This was a delightful gift! I couldn't have been more surprised or pleased darling!

    With truly the deepest love,
    Agnes

    December 15, 2003

    Dearest Dave,

    Today the postman brought me yet another of your sweet gifts. The two turtule doves that arrived today are adorable, and I'm delighted by your thoughtful and generous ways.

    With all of my love,
    Your Agnes

    December 16, 2003

    Dearest Dave,

    You've truly been too kind! I must protest; I don't deserve such generosity. The thought of getting three French hens amazes me. Yet, I am not surprised--what more should I expect from such a nice person.

    Love,
    Agnes

    December 17, 2003

    Dear Dave,

    Four calling birds arrived in the mail today. They are truly nice but don't you think that enough is enough? You are being too romantic.

    Affectionately,
    Agnes

    December 18, 2003

    Dearest darling Dave,

    It was a surprise to get five golden rings! I now have one for every finger. You truly are impossible darling, yet oh how I love it! Quite frankly, all of those squarking birds from the previous days were starting to get on my nerves. Yet, you managed to come through with a beautiful valuable gift!

    All my love,
    Agnes

    December 19, 2003

    Dear Dave,

    When I opened my door, there were actually six geese a-laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are dear, but where will I keep them? The neighbors are complaining, and I am unable to sleep with all the racket. Please stop dear.

    Cordially,
    Agnes

    December 20, 2003

    Dave,

    What is with you and those fucking birds!? Seven swans a-swimming!! What kind of sick joke is this!!?? There are bird droppings everywhere! They never shut up, and I don't get any sleep!!! I'm a nervous wreck! It's not funny you weirdo, so stop with the birds.

    Sincerely,
    Agnes

    December 21, 2003

    O.K. wise guy,

    The birds were bad enough. Now what do you expect me to do with eight maids a-milking? If that's not bad enough, they had to bring their cows!! The front lawn was completely ruined by them, and I can't move in my own house! Just lay off me or you'll be sorry!

    Agnes

    December 22, 2003

    Hey loser,

    What are you? You must be some kind of sadist!! Now there are nine pipers playing, and they certainly do play! They haven't stopped screwing those maids since they got here! I don't know if they will be able to walk again. The cows are getting upset, and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. The neighbors are getting up a petition to evict me, and I'm going out of my mind!

    You'll get yours!
    Agnes

    December 23, 2003

    You rotten fucking scumbag!!!

    There are now ten ladies dancing! There is only one problem with that! They're dancing twenty-four hours a day all around me with the screwing pipers upsetting the cows and the maids. The cows can't sleep, and they shitting everywhere! The building commissioner has subpoenaed me to give cause as to why the house shouldn't be condemned! I can't even think of a reason! You creep! I'm sicking the police on you!

    One who means it!

    December 24, 2003

    Listen you evil, sadistic, maniac!

    What's with the eleven lords-a-leaping?!? They are leaping across the rooms breaking everything and screwing the hell out of the ladies. Let me tell you, these are no ladies! The place is a sewer, is an absolute mad house, and is about to be condemned! At least the birds are quiet; they were trampled to death by the cows. I hope you are satisfied--you rotten vicious worthless piece of garbage!

    Your sworn enemy,
    Agnes

    December 25, 2003

    The Law Offices of
    Badger, Rees, and Yorker
    20 Knave Street
    Chicago, Illinois

    Dear sir,

    This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers-fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, one Agnes Mcholstein. The destruction of course was total. If you attempt to reach Ms. Mcholstein at Happy Daze Sanatarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot you on site.

    Please direct all correspondence to this office in the future. With this letter, please find attached a lawsuit to recover the damages caused by you and your gifts.

    Cordially,
    Badger, Rees, and Yorker

    P.S. Where did you buy the 10 ladies dancing? They need more thongs and we need to change the dance theme to Happy New Year for the partners.

  2. #2
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    3,354
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 57 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: Twelve Days of Christmas

    LOL...That's pretty funny!

  3. #3
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Location
    NJ
    Posts
    3,786
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Twelve Days of Christmas

    Ha ha ha...now all we need are the Strippers 12 days of Christmas!

Similar Threads

  1. Days around Christmas
    By pheonixkarma in forum Hustle Hut
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 12-25-2009, 09:05 PM
  2. I have twelve foot ceilings help me find a pole that fits!!
    By VegasPrincess in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 08-09-2008, 12:06 PM
  3. Game Days VS Regular Days
    By elektrafying in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 12-01-2007, 08:15 PM
  4. The Pet's Twelve Days of Christmas
    By GoldCoastGirl in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 10-25-2006, 04:05 PM
  5. What do u want for Christmas?
    By pimpy718 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 12-23-2004, 10:48 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •