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Thread: God have mercy on my soul ..

  1. #1
    Tart
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    Default God have mercy on my soul ..

    Okay my rant...

    ( because im long overdue for one on here. )

    First off let me say that I have the worst fucking luck in dating.

    Im truly undoubtfully in love with a man, we will call him Mister Chicago.

    I love him.

    We parted ways in August due to ..lets just say " his lack of keeping his wang to himself ".

    Now im strung on him again. I've seen him twice . Im getting mixed vibes from him. He's still curious as to why I'd even speak to him, let alone fuck him.

    I look at it like this., Karma already took care of things . So I forgive him. I wont forget ..as I shouldn't. But Im over it already. Now i want him like it use to be.

    Between mister chicago this summer and today. There was mister LA ( we call him "LAmeness "

    This cocksucker I would like to beat. Thats a long story but none the less...things were fine between him and I. Then he just became vapor 3 days after I returned from my last trip out to LA.., come to find out he got back with his ex etc etc.

    He failed to tell me this, when he started writing me emails and begging for nude photos so he could " take care of buisness ".

    Once I found out I had very little nice to say on the matter.

    I've date in between., and before Mister chicago. All of which the guys just do the vapor thing. THey can't take the fact I was dancing, or that I have 2 sons.

    I want chicago back more then .. more then I want that chanel robe i've been eyeing.

    Now, as im sitting on pins and needles...a LONG time ex of mine. One who was HOT ..looking better then dave navarro but bout' as looney as they come

    You know the type ....

    Jealous, possessive... stalkerish

    wait here we go " A-typical stripper boyfriend. "

    except he worked and didnt play the playstation lol.

    Now he's writing and phoning. While I know he's bad news bears ... I "remember" him..and how much things were better then in some ways.

    I am so fucking lonely right now it's killing me.

    And yes I'd love someone to come home to ., and have steady sex with ( this bedhopping thing is meant for the youth. I simply cannot do this shit anymore. )

    I dont think I could be commited to anyone other then Mister chicago.

    We share sorta the same soul in that cheesey cliche way.

    Im afraid im going insane thinking he'll come to me. And yet trying to force myself NOT to force the issue ( which im so bad for .)

    Work has been shit lately. I had a horrid Monday night since the colts had a home game. Not only was I robbed on stage, called a fucking bitch...got into it with my regular and video taped with a camera phone... But i also didnt want to be there.

    Tuesday was fine. Weds and thursday I basically hung out and didnt make shit.

    Im still fighting with my regular. And im not sure what the hell his deal is but he needs to stop being a douche bag. He calls and demands . I dont tolerate that very well.

    Right now im in a crunch with money so I have to bite the bullet at the moment.

    Lawyer fees are mounting., house payment..xmas and moving to chicago.

    GOD HELP ME>

    Im so frustrated that I want to give up but honestly can't afford it.

    OH and on a side note i noticed if i wear a certain sorta perfume I seriously attract men ..anyone ever have this happen. Like you can switch up and wear other stuff. But there will be one perfume that whenever you wear it, romance blooms.

    Im bathing in the shit now lol

    Okay im done.

    im going out to punkrock night and drowning my issues in whiskey and probably creating some more.

    I hope my ball of shit I call life makes someone elses look like a lil' turd.


    Xo

    Tart

  2. #2
    Veteran Member lwtex52's Avatar
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    Default Re: God have mercy on my soul ..

    You should go to the chat room and ask them about some character named "Zephyr". Rhiannon might be a good character reference. I have heard that he's so weird, that all of the people you have mentioned would be solid citizens.

    Now, if it will bring a bit of sunshine to your life, I will share with you the following parable. It has nothing to do with your story, but I have to tell it to someone......

    The Pope went on a tour of Italy, and was visited by The Seven Dwarfs. He gave a brief talk on the subject of Comparative Religions, and asked if there were any questions. A hand went up in the back of the room, belonging to Dopey.

    "Mr. Pope! Are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?" asked Dopey.

    The Pope gave a silent chuckle, then shook his head sadly. "No, Dopey, I am afraid there aren't any dwarf nuns in Rome."

    Dopey raised his hand again. "Are there any dwarf nuns in Italy?" he asked.

    Again, the Pope shook his head and replied, "No, Dopey, I'm afraid there aren't."

    Dopey then jumped up and down, raised his hand, and asked, "Mr. Pope? Are there any dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?"

    The Pope smiled a kindly smile, and again shook his head. "No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."

    At that moment, silently at first, but growing louder, the other dwarfs began to chant...."Dopey screwed a penguin........Dopey screwed a penguin......"
    My latest conspiracy theory: I am convinced that Dick Cheney is, in reality, Elmer Fudd.

  3. #3
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: God have mercy on my soul ..

    You can never go home, because home isn't there anymore." -Thomas Wolfe.

    People change. You change. The key to being able to stand a man long enough to have a relationship with him is to realize he has his own destiny to play out.....and if you don't like how it looks, you can bail. At any age! Going down with the ship is archaic....
    If the Mr. Chicago problem is a safe sex issue, well, start using rubbers until you get him off your brain. Sometimes ladies just need sex.
    BUT given the fact you are mature & sick of bedhopping, spend time alone. I haven't had a normal relationship for 3 years & I'm happy that way. If you really want someone, get youself all together to look for him. (That's why I don't date, it's an "Id" parade, but heck, the bell tolls for everyone someday.)
    PS Don't date crazy ex again. You are begging for trouble if you do.
    Best wishes.

  4. #4
    God/dess
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    Default Re: God have mercy on my soul ..

    Tart, I've learned a valuable lesson lately. Value yourself because nobody else will. I do, however, think that people make mistakes. Don't know if Mr. Chicago wandered with multiples though.

    Either way, it gets tiring doing the bedhopping thing and, as we get older, seems to get that much more meaningless too.

    Don't drift back into something wrong because you crave comfort and familiarity. Definitely don't let it affect you at work. You have two sons to take care of. Let them be the men in your life while you get yourself together and decide what it is that you really want.

    I'm in for a spell of alone time as I take time to re-evaluate myself. It's not going to be easy, but I think it's for the best. Divest yourself of all those albatrosses (oh god how corny). Be free and value yourself enough to settle only for the best.

    Much luck to you.

  5. #5
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: God have mercy on my soul ..

    Agreeing with the above, Tart. The bind as we age is that we become too smart (experience does provide some wisdom, it turns out) to think a big O is worth all the drama and hassle, if there isn't something worthy about the person we're boinking. I'd toss in the idea that socializing--read, not on a boink hunt--is a real pleasure, a lost art. Think food, some drink, interesting diversions, etc. And before you know it, you might meet a cool guy. Best o' luck.

  6. #6
    Tart
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    Default Re: God have mercy on my soul ..

    good lord ..well I got drunk alright. I had fun apparently and did lots of drunk dials.

    lol

    Still went home alone but whatever.

    I just thought I'd update!

  7. #7
    Veteran Member logan820's Avatar
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    Default Re: God have mercy on my soul ..

    Glad you are feeling better, bedhopping gets old fast like the other posters have said. I have been single for 2 years, and feeling like there is a lack of available men around. Don't go back to the ex, I have also done my share of drunk dialing, and sometimes the ex just seems familiar, but just enjoy your single time, b/c eventually you will have another relationship, it is just the way it is

  8. #8
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: God have mercy on my soul ..

    Quote Originally Posted by madmaxine
    You can never go home, because home isn't there anymore." -Thomas Wolfe.

    People change. You change. The key to being able to stand a man long enough to have a relationship with him is to realize he has his own destiny to play out.....and if you don't like how it looks, you can bail. At any age! Going down with the ship is archaic....
    If the Mr. Chicago problem is a safe sex issue, well, start using rubbers until you get him off your brain. Sometimes ladies just need sex.
    BUT given the fact you are mature & sick of bedhopping, spend time alone.

    {snip}

    PS Don't date crazy ex again. You are begging for trouble if you do.
    Best wishes.
    I second this.

    Being alone sucks for the first week or so, then you get accustomed to it. You can do what you want when you want etc.

    Unlike MadMax, I do want another SO. But I am far more patient and choosy these days.

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