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Thread: Withdrawal Symptoms

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    Default Withdrawal Symptoms

    I've only been retired for a few weeks and I'm having withdrawal symptoms. I feel like I have no way to express my sexuality. The fiance and I are starting to do better and I can strip for him anytime, but it's not the same.

    I have danced on and off for many years. I even had a break of 3 years at one time. I guess it's just that I know I'm really done that is getting to me.

    My question is...for those of you who have truly retired for good? How do you deal with this? I feel so not sexy anymore! Smart and confident with the impending new job, yes, but not sexy!

    Everytime I hear a cool song, I just want to jump up somewhere and start swaying. My clubs were heartbroken that I was leaving for good. Maybe I should just visit once in awhile and jump up for old time's sake, dunno.

    AAAHHHHHH....just feeling blah and not in tune with myself...is this making sense?

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    Veteran Member heidimonster7's Avatar
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    Default Re: Withdrawal Symptoms

    I have not quit for good, but I have been out of stripping for two years. It is driving me nutzo, too. I have a very loving partner, and we have sex often, but I still feel like there is a huge part of my sexuality that I just can't express unless I am dancing. I am going through trying to find other ways to fulfill this need. Dancing in Washington state is not an option for me, because the scened sucks so bad. So until I can move to Portland, I feel stuck. I hope you and I both find a way through this. It is VERY uncomfortable

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Withdrawal Symptoms

    Quote Originally Posted by DylanAngel
    I've only been retired for a few weeks and I'm having withdrawal symptoms. I feel like I have no way to express my sexuality.
    You can always express with maaaaasssstttttt

    Quote Originally Posted by DylanAngel
    The fiance and I are starting to do better and I can strip for him anytime, but it's not the same.
    BUPKIS! He OBVIOUSLY doesn't love you! Leave him this instant!

    Quote Originally Posted by DylanAngel
    I have danced on and off for many years. I even had a break of 3 years at one time. I guess it's just that I know I'm really done that is getting to me.
    Seriously Dylan, why do you have to be really done? You are still allowed a personal life from work, if you really enjoy it and have fun why not go in once a week and get it out of your system? Sounds like your gonna pop with desire here.

    Quote Originally Posted by DylanAngel
    My question is...for those of you who have truly retired for good? How do you deal with this? I feel so not sexy anymore! Smart and confident with the impending new job, yes, but not sexy!
    You're right, I just cant live offa dancing for my man, and well, The girls just aren't as perky as they used to be since I've lost some weight, and well, the weightloss also makes it harder for me to be a straphanger so some guys where getting kinda pissed. But it'll get easier over time.

    Quote Originally Posted by DylanAngel
    Everytime I hear a cool song, I just want to jump up somewhere and start swaying. My clubs were heartbroken that I was leaving for good. Maybe I should just visit once in awhile and jump up for old time's sake, dunno.
    I know EXACTLY how you feel. Only I record myself to the music and make a complete ass of myself as a result. Then it goes on the interweb, and its just messy.



    Seriously Dylan, there is nothing wrong with being a dancer for a hobby, do it now and get it out of your system, and for cripes sake, have fun.

    Quote Originally Posted by DylanAngel
    AAAHHHHHH....just feeling blah and not in tune with myself...is this making sense?
    Whats a Hyphen?
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Withdrawal Symptoms

    Baby - I feel your pain. I quit for a long time, and my friends use to laugh at the way I walked to the bathroom when we were out for the night. I'd get up from the table to walk away, and there would be a chorus of "Check out the strut!" Yes. The stripper strut. The way the insiders know each other. We inevitably strut around in time to the music, even if we are just going to the bathroom or up to the bar.

    But honestly, as much as it seems so delightful now, remember the bad times. And keep in mind, that it is probably not the expression that you are missing - because as you said, you can do that for your boyfriend anytime - but the public affirmation. (This is sheer projection, btw; it's the way I feel, and the way a lot of girls who have recently retired feel. If you know this is not how you feel, I'm not trying to tell you otherwise). After being in the business for a long time you do develop a sense of yourself that is, maybe not inextricably, but pretty damn closely, tied up with other people perceiving you, and that is hard to give up (has anyone done a Lacanian study of strippers? Does this seem like something that needs to happen? All you students who are constantly analysing strippers - idea! ). However, that is only get harder, and it becomes more and more a part of yourself. It isn't healthy and it isn't real, and it never gets easier. So I wouldn't go dance as a hobby. I would try to embrace your sexuality in a more "orthodox" way - buy some sexy underwear and some seamed stockings, right? It's hard to get used to, and you will likely always remember those moments I like to call "rock star moments" - when you just feel so tough and euphoric. But it is better to remember them with nostalgia than stay in the business until it completely subsumes your self-esteem and self-worth, and letting it sink you.

    My 2 cents. Of course, you know your own situation better than I do.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Default Re: Withdrawal Symptoms

    Jenny, you are totally right. It's the public affirmation that I'm missing. I know that I made the right choice.

    I'm also thinking that this is tied up with turning 40 next September. That feeling of not being sexy by virtue of my age and the fear of getting old.

    But I really do miss those rock star moments...and I HATE it when you hit the nail on the head too! Get outta my brain, Jenny!!!! LOL

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    Default Re: Withdrawal Symptoms

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus
    You can always express with maaaaasssstttttt
    Yeah well, you only seem to go to sunny places like Florida so us tough Northeastern girls are left out in the cold (literally, brrrrr)

    Oh and I lost my hyphen years ago, baby, in a hit and run accident. He hit it and I ran!!!!! LOL.

    (ok so you caught me not being grammatically correct...spank me for it!)

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