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Thread: Problems many dancers face. New girls please read.

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    Member Lt. Longhorn's Avatar
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    Search Problems many dancers face.

    Let me first say I was a DJ and a manager for four years. I've seen hundreds of girls get into the business and I've seen how it changes them. I just want to point out some of the serious issues I've seen when a girl starts to dance.

    1. The most serious problem I've seen is when a girl begins to tie her self-esteem to the amount of money she's making. When she's making a lot of money, she feels good about herself. When she isn't making money, she feels there is something wrong with her. The truth is that when a girl is new, customers will try and test the waters with her to see if she'll go home with them. Once they've figured out she won't, she may not get quite as much attention.

    At first she feels good about herself because she's making more money than many of the girls who've been there for years. After interest in her slows down, she starts to wonder what's wrong with her. Pressure like this can actually cause new girls to go home with customers which only makes the problem worse.

    The amount of money you make is not a direct result of how pretty you are. There are several other factors like recession, too many girls at the club or you may be working somewhere where the girls "cutthroat" or sleep with customers.

    The important thing to remember is that the customers opinion of you shouldn't affect your self-esteem. You were a beautiful person before you started dancing. Don't let anyone take that away no matter what those cheap mother fu**ers say to you.

    2. The second most serious problem I see is the chemical addictions that result from being constantly exposed to drugs and alcohol. I can't tell you how many times I bought a shot for a girl who was going to go on stage for the first time. Many girls feel they can't be fun, flirtatious or brave enough to get on stage without drinking. I know I was nervous as hell the first time I got on the mic and I still had all my clothes on.

    Drinking during every shift to get into the mood can cause problems down the line. Also, it's no secret that drugs make there way into strip clubs. Here is something you may not know. Several drug dealers BECAME drug dealers so they could hook up with strippers. Your not going to get rich selling weed or cocaine in a strip club. Guys do it to hook up with girls. If you work in strip club for any period of time you will witness the stripper/drug dealer couple. A match made in heaven.

    You may even see girls, who are addicted to cocaine for instance, try to bring other girls in the club out to "party." They know the more girls they can get to come out to the coke den, the more likely they are to get free drugs. It's almost like a pyramid scheme. I saw a girl try to do this to my girlfriend, it was the end of our relationship.

    I don't judge anyone who drinks or does drugs. I just believe you owe it to yourself to realize the consequences. "Cocaine is a powerful drug." - Rick James

    3. The third problem I often see is that girls don't have a plan to get out. I'm in the military now, I love my job and I even have a plan to get out. lol!

    Dancing can be easy money. Dancing can also rob you of your discipline. You may not have a set schedule or you may work at a club where the managers let you get away with murder. Many times it's the lack of discipline that causes a girl to not stick to her exit strategy. Remember, you can't dance forever.

    My humble suggestion: Either go to school or work part time along with dancing. I have several friends who dance in order to raise capital for their small business. I have friends who dance and put all their money in real estate. I have a friend who danced, saved her money and is working on her PHD in physiology.

    The most common ways out are bartending, massage therapy, personal trainer, realtor, beauty school, receptionist or paralegal. The bottom line is have a plan and stick to it.

    I'm writing this thread because I've had several girls who I care about as friends be affected by these issues.

    Tell me what you think.
    You can check out my website at www.myspace.com/ltlonghorn

  2. #2
    eyeawry
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    Default Re: Problems many dancers face.

    I like this post. I was warned of these points and others before I started dancing. I still have trouble with #1 -- not because of what customers say to me, but because I occasionally get it into my head that I'm not trying hard enough. A lot of people who go into sales jobs are of the perfectionist persuasion. Sometimes it's hard to step back and acknowledge that there's only so much I can do in a night, and no matter what, I *won't* be able to sell to everyone I talk to and occasionally I won't be able to sell to ANYONE I talk to. Bad nights/weeks occur, and I shouldn't let them get to me, but it's tough.

    Another problem dancers face is overcoming feeling intense negativity towards other people, especially males. Constant exposure to some of the more obnoxious traits of our fellow humans is rough on one's psyche. Of course, that comes with any job in which one has to deal with the public. Servers in restaurants or cashiers in stores generally don't have their personal space boundaries invaded by strangers, though. That makes the dislike a lot more intense.

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    Veteran Member laplover69's Avatar
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    Default Re: Problems many dancers face.

    Good pst here! Lots of other issues the dancers I know deal with are jealous, insecure, and unapproving SO's or family members, alcohol abuse, being stalked by custies, making $$$ w/o leading "custies" on OTC, a general unacceptance by a portion of society that demonizes their work i.e. CCV, American Family Association, Etc., also a lot of dancers I know work a long way from home because they are ashamed or don't want anyone to know about their occupations.

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    Default Re: Problems many dancers face.

    I agree with a lot of things you said here,except the part about easy money (it is not) and the discipline issue.All cubs are different,but many places are very strict with scheduling,being late etc.Myself and pretty much all my friends and people I've worked with over many years are very disciplined and got their lives together.But I do see your point.

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    Default Re: Problems many dancers face.

    I think it is easy money in the sense you don't need an education or talent to make a lot of cash.

    Otherwise, this is dead on. I think if girls go in with a good sense of who they are, they won't face these problems. Of course, that's rare since so many are young and not that strong.

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    Default Re: Problems many dancers face.

    I agree with the original poster's points and those summarized by laplover. The major point missed is the factors predisposing a girl to become a dancer in the first place. Few girls just wanting money become dancers, so there are other factors. Those other factors, I believe, in conjunction with the stresses and exposures of this work can lead too many dancers to some common destructive lifestyles. I don't believe the seduction-for-a-price nature of the work is all that produces in many (perhaps ignorant) civvies the impression that the whole industry is "immoral", meaning lifestyles those observers don't approve of. Regardless of the common independent and rebelious nature of many dancers, they are always going to be frustrated by those types in political power. That's what they have to deal with in this largely puritannical country. Too bad about that reality.

    But so what else is new?
    Last edited by threlayer; 12-04-2005 at 08:19 PM. Reason: clarify
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Veteran Member rain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Problems many dancers face.

    duh !
    There is no salvation in becoming adapted to a world which is crazy.
    Henry Miller

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    Default Re: Problems many dancers face.

    I kinda want to post this in our dressing room!

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    Default Re: Problems many dancers face.

    Good post!!!!

    I never did understand those girls who need to be wasted in order to work. Dancing is what is putting me through college and supporting my two children. I don't understand why people keep doing it if they are so miserable with it. It just goes to show that this is NOT an easy job. If you're not strong inside before you start it can have a way of really hurting you mentally. Alot of girls treat it like a lifestyle instead of a job. unfortunately those girls end up messed up and trapped in a very vicious cycle.

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    Default Re: Problems many dancers face.

    Hey great post. Sounds like you have some great insight... keep posting on SW!!

    I'm a new dancer and i'm totally going through the phenomenon you described in #1!!! The novelty is wearing off, and getting beautiful is just part of the job, so the $$$ is sometimes the only incentive to work... When the money doesnt come in, i wonder what's wrong with me/my hustle/ outfit/ personality /approach.... etc etc etc and because i'm a perfectionist, I take it hard sometimes.
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    Default Re: Problems many dancers face.

    Ladies,this guy is a great friend of mine and knows his sh*t!!!

    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

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    Veteran Member girlnew156's Avatar
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    Default Re: Problems many dancers face.

    Quote Originally Posted by rain
    duh !
    The prince of darkness is a gentlemen.
    Shakespeare, King Lear

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    Member Lt. Longhorn's Avatar
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    Search Problems many dancers face. New girls please read.

    Let me first say I was a DJ and a manager for four years. I've seen hundreds of girls get into the business and I've seen how it changes them. I just want to point out some of the serious issues I've seen when a girl starts to dance.

    1. The most serious problem I've seen is when a girl begins to tie her self-esteem to the amount of money she's making. When she's making a lot of money, she feels good about herself. When she isn't making money, she feels there is something wrong with her. The truth is that when a girl is new, customers will try and test the waters with her to see if she'll go home with them. Once they've figured out she won't, she may not get quite as much attention.

    At first she feels good about herself because she's making more money than many of the girls who've been there for years. After interest in her slows down, she starts to wonder what's wrong with her. Pressure like this can actually cause new girls to go home with customers which only makes the problem worse.

    The amount of money you make is not a direct result of how pretty you are. There are several other factors like recession, too many girls at the club or you may be working somewhere where the girls "cutthroat" or sleep with customers.

    The important thing to remember is that the customers opinion of you shouldn't affect your self-esteem. You were a beautiful person before you started dancing. Don't let anyone take that away no matter what those cheap mother fu**ers say to you.

    2. The second most serious problem I see is the chemical addictions that result from being constantly exposed to drugs and alcohol. I can't tell you how many times I bought a shot for a girl who was going to go on stage for the first time. Many girls feel they can't be fun, flirtatious or brave enough to get on stage without drinking. I know I was nervous as hell the first time I got on the mic and I still had all my clothes on.

    Drinking during every shift to get into the mood can cause problems down the line. Also, it's no secret that drugs make there way into strip clubs. Here is something you may not know. Several drug dealers BECAME drug dealers so they could hook up with strippers. Your not going to get rich selling weed or cocaine in a strip club. Guys do it to hook up with girls. If you work in strip club for any period of time you will witness the stripper/drug dealer couple. A match made in heaven.

    You may even see girls, who are addicted to cocaine for instance, try to bring other girls in the club out to "party." They know the more girls they can get to come out to the coke den, the more likely they are to get free drugs. It's almost like a pyramid scheme. I saw a girl try to do this to my girlfriend, it was the end of our relationship.

    I don't judge anyone who drinks or does drugs. I just believe you owe it to yourself to realize the consequences. "Cocaine is a powerful drug." - Rick James

    3. The third problem I often see is that girls don't have a plan to get out. I'm in the military now, I love my job and I even have a plan to get out. lol!

    Dancing can be easy money. Dancing can also rob you of your discipline. You may not have a set schedule or you may work at a club where the managers let you get away with murder. Many times it's the lack of discipline that causes a girl to not stick to her exit strategy. Remember, you can't dance forever.

    My humble suggestion: Either go to school or work part time along with dancing. I have several friends who dance in order to raise capital for their small business. I have friends who dance and put all their money in real estate. I have a friend who danced, saved her money and is working on her PHD in physiology.

    The most common ways out are bartending, massage therapy, personal trainer, realtor, beauty school, receptionist or paralegal. The bottom line is have a plan and stick to it.

    I'm writing this thread because I've had several girls who I care about as friends be affected by these issues.

    Tell me what you think.
    You can check out my website at www.myspace.com/ltlonghorn

  14. #14
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    Default Re: Problems many dancers face. New girls please read.

    I think that this particular forum is a place for new dancers to ask questions of veterans, and while I appreciate your sentiments in trying to give advice, you have posted the exact same thread in SG: http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sho...562#post641562.

  15. #15
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    Default Re: Problems many dancers face.

    #1 is common in most types of jobs. When the money isnt good or if someone doesnt move up the ladder, self esteem can crash. Nothing specific to dancers, and hopefully this is a common sense thing for most people. Not everyone is going to make it rich every day. Doesnt matter what you do or who you are.
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  16. #16
    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Problems many dancers face.

    I recently experienced a perfect demonstration of the "money is not equivalent to beauty" item. I'd say I'm a 6 or a 7. I have a little belly and my body shape is a little unusual -- large rib cage, etc. Another girl I worked with (tiny bar, two girls a shift) has the perfect figure, and is always a bit more elegant and well-groomed than I am -- I'd say an 8 or 9 -- and the other night, she went home early; the few customers in the bar were tipping (and buying dances from) me and not her. Why? I don't know -- I do know I have good stage presence and a very eccentric character, and probably that's what those particular customers were looking for. It was definitely a bit of an ego boost, because when I arrived, I thought, "Oh, I'm working with ____, she's SO hot, I won't make a dime."

    But knowing that it's my stage presence and not my beauty that rakes in the dollars can be hard. I sometimes try too hard when no one is tipping, and get off stage feeling pissed off and defeated. Eh -- that's just the breaks.

    I don't agree that you don't need talent. A girl without *any* sense of performance will not go far, especially in my town.

    I'm naturally nocturnal and have sleep problems, so jobs that start much before 12 noon and run five days a week make me physically sick eventually. In my case it was an understanding of the impossibility of a "9-to-5" corporate job that led to dancing (and to college and grad school, too) rather than the other way around.

  17. #17
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    Default Re: Problems many dancers face.

    We should have a thread and call it "Pitfalls of Dancing" and post it with a sticky in the Newbie section.

    I think so many dancers get into this business with money being the only goal. They read here (or hear on Howard Stern) about the thousands of dollars that dancers make every day, and somehow get the idea that men show up to the strip clubs for the sole purpose of spending their life savings to glimpse naked girls. On the surface it sounds soooo easy, but when it comes right down to it, the job is incrediably difficult to be that successful at.

    And like another poster said, luck has more to do with making the big bucks then any other one factor. A dancer has to be in the right city, with the right economic climate, and the right customer walks in the door, and he likes that one girl and spends $500 on her that night. I'm a firm believer in good luck charms to help with my success!


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