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Thread: so sad...

  1. #1
    Member sexiiqt123's Avatar
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    Default so sad...

    I havent been to work in about a week (stripping) and I dont know if i will ever go back... 3 nights ago my boyfriend that I've been dating for 5 years got in a fight, and the other guy in the fight hit him over the head w/ a full beer bottle, my boyfriend had an operation on his brain and has brain damage, and may need to have years of rehabilation (learning to walk and talk all over again) maybe even not remembering faces.... he's been in a drug induced coma for 3 days now, and in about 3-4 more days he should be waking up. Im just so depressed, I havent been able to eat or sleep and I have no energy.. all I do is cry... anyway though,my boyfriend always hated the fact that i danced, so i was thinking about quiting.. or maybe just taking some time off...
    any advice would be helpful, thanks everyone

    -christina

    p.s. this all happened on my 20th birthday!

  2. #2
    Senior Member Heaven's Avatar
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    Default Re: so sad...

    Sweetie, I am so sorry to hear that you and your boyfriend have to deal with such a terrible thing!! I'll keep him in my prayers and send happy thoughts your way.

    If you don't dance how will you support yourself? Do you have money saved up or would you just look for another job? That alone may cause you more stress on top of what you're dealing with now (and what you face in the near future).

    BTW - Happy Belated Birthday.
    Perception is Reality

  3. #3
    Senior Member Sirena's Avatar
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    Default Re: so sad...

    Now that your boyfriend is getting help, maybe it's time you got some as well. This is (obviously) traumatic for you and it sounds like you're suffering some depression/shock. I'd say get take some more time off if you can afford it, get counselling, eat well and get your strength up and eventually return to work when you're in a better frame of mind. I wouldn't say quit dancing for him, none of this is your fault and if dancing is working for you as a job, keeping doing it.
    Hope you feel better soon, all this is fairly recent so the outcome might not turn out so bad for him in the end. Take care of yourself
    "Mix well the sperm of four men"
    Anais Nin on the recipe for happiness

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    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: so sad...

    I'm so sorry this happened to you and to him. I've gotten 2 men through serious hospital stays, so I know what you are coping with. Remember to take care of yourself FIRST, or else you will not be able to take care of anybody else. PM me if you need to talk.

    xoxoxoxo.


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    When you perform... you are out of yourself--larger and more potent, more beautiful. You are for minutes heroic. This is power. This is glory on earth. And it is yours, nightly.

    --Agnes De Mille

  5. #5
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: so sad...

    Oh my G-d! I'm so sorry. I really hope he recovers quickly. (((Hug)))

  6. #6
    Featured Member Hello_Kitty27's Avatar
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    Default Re: so sad...

    Oh my .... I am sorry to hear all of this. I realize this is a completely different situation, but, I want to tell you this so that you know that doctors and hospitals tell you the WORST possible scenario .... I've talked about it before on here, but basically my brother od'd on herion. He was in a coma for a couple days and they told us that b/c of the OD, he stopped breathing and no oxygen got to his brain for a while, therefore he has severe brain-damage and may be a 'vegetable'. Long story short, he is fully recovered, after less than a week in the hospital.

    Granted, the recovery for your boyfriend will be a lot longer, but he may be OK after therapy. I wish you the best, please keep us posted.






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  7. #7
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: so sad...

    OH honey, this is terrible....but don't give up hope. A friend of mine is engaged to a guy who was hurt in a similar way, he recovered almost fully from his injuries. And my brother was almost killed in a motorcycle accident 14 years ago, his girlfriend stayed by his side in the hospital & he made a full recovery.
    Life hands us all kinds of f*cked up problems to handle....I don't want to whine about mine, but believe me when I say there is always a piece of good in even the most horrible circumstances.
    Why don't you read to him until he wakes up? There are several dozen reported cases of coma patients waking up for loved one's voices or music.
    Happy 20th birthday by the way...

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    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: so sad...

    My thoughts are with you.

    One day at a time.

    Don't forget to take care of yourself too.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    ...I assume you probably don't want to deal with pervs, and the guys that just don't give a fuck about money are like unicorns...
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    I know I have said it before, and I'll say it again.... THE VAGINA IS NOT A CLOWN CAR!


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    Featured Member hannah83's Avatar
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    Default Re: so sad...

    oh hun...i don't know what to say. except stay strong!! And the other girls are right...you have to take care of yourself first, that way you can give your boyfriend all the support he will need. And talk to him! When my grandma had a major surgery earlier this year, when she woke up she said that she could hear me and my aunt talking to her and that made her want to wake up sooner. So if she could hear us...i'm sure he can hear you as well.

    keep us posted! and i'll be thinking of you!
    There's a wild side behind every innocent face.

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    Veteran Member Natalia108's Avatar
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    Default Re: so sad...

    omg im so so sorry too hear this ..

    i hope he gets better soon n look after yaself too

    i also hope that you both have family support there for ya both at this time of need

    take good care

  11. #11
    Veteran Member logan820's Avatar
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    Default Re: so sad...

    this is awful, My heart is w/ you. You are not going to know the severity of his injury until he wakes up. You need to be there b/c traumatic brain injury rehab can be a long road to recovery. He can recover. Keep us posted, LOVE, Logan

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    God/dess
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    Default Re: so sad...

    Hugs to you and my prayers for the full and speedy recovery of your boyfriend.
    Last edited by DylanAngel; 12-10-2005 at 07:18 AM. Reason: typo

  13. #13
    Veteran Member susie's Avatar
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    Default Re: so sad...

    I'm sorry that he was hurt, I'll light a candle for you and him. I hope that the person who did it is remorseful.
    He will get better even if you don't quit dancing; and the fact of the matter is, if he doesn't remember what dancing is it will do him no good to hold his hand and tell him to come back because you quit dancing.
    What people in comas know is that they smell something that reminds them of feelings...like barbaque sauce for steak and good times, your perfume for love, cookies for comfort...ect. They can feel tender gestures like stroking his chin, holding his hand, ect.
    If you want to talk to him, think back to the smartest dog you've ever seen. He will be able to understand a simple vocabulary like that. So, sorry, happy, love, sit, go, come back, he will understand, and might remember when he comes up.
    If you want to help his mind recover, talk to him like a newborn babe, and put different sensations on his arm and face. Heck, mabe let him hold your hair. Play music to him, clasical and heavy metal are supposed to have the patterns that stimulate thought patterns better. You can leave a nurse in charge of radio when your gone, just remember to be very nice to the nurse, and they won't forget.
    You can also put your perfume on a sachet or pillow and put it near his head.
    Go ahead and cry, even in the same room, it's good for both of you(dare I share this? my dad was in an induced coma, and I knew he got my message when I started to cry then he did also).
    Back to you dancing, I'd say don't quit to make amends for something that isn't wrong. Right now, you'll both need the money. Now if this happend at your job, I'd say look for a new job/club. He's not gonna be working for a while, and I'm sure his family will help, but you can help also(if you were close, and after 5 years, Id say you are).
    I'm wishing you happiness, and a fast recovery for your man.
    Susie

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