Dancers, do you ever get shy around customers at the club? Maybe you are attracted to them or they remind you too much of someone you know that, if they ever found out that you were dancing, would be embarrassing. Are there any other reasons?

Dancers, do you ever get shy around customers at the club? Maybe you are attracted to them or they remind you too much of someone you know that, if they ever found out that you were dancing, would be embarrassing. Are there any other reasons?
I am a shy person. I work really hard to overcome this, but it is difficult for me. I have trouble walking up to guys I don't know and starting to talk to them--mostly because some guys can be rude, and it makes me feel bad. I am getting better at letting rejection roll off my back and not take it personally, but it's difficult for me.



sometimes people confuse the term shy with She's just not intersted in you,or she loathes you and has nothing to say to you just wants your money,but you take it as she must be shy. Usually the only shy girls I know are newbies that really dont know what to say to pople,and it comes off looking like they are shy.
I am a shy person, but I'm not at work.
Like in real life I'm all giggly and silly around a guy I like. I clam up if I'm in a group of people I don't know. It makes me uncomfortable to be stuck next to someone for an extended period of time (like on a plane or elevator) because I think they might want to talk.
But my stripper persona is brazen and bold. I don't know how I can do this, but it works!





I am also such a shy person until I get to know someone, but at work, I'm very outgoing. However, when I was younger and I'd be at parties with strangers I'd sometimes be similar to how I am now at work- goofy, talkative, silly in a social way. It's totally necessary at work, and I think whenever I'm in a situation where my 'real' self is not at stake, I can lose my shyness.
But I know what you mean about 'liking' a customer. I've had one or two experiences dancing for guys where I just couldn't work out my persona. They were young, intelligent, and seemed to me like the guys I hang out with as friends. I wasn't shy exactly, but it felt like I was dancing for my brother. They didn't seem into it either- more like getting dances from me as a favour.
When I think of this duality of mine, I am reminded of Jim Spader's character in the movie 'Secretary'. He says "I'm shy", and Maggie Gyllenhaal says "You're not shy! You're a lawyer!". It's all about context.





I'm like Emily, I'm shy in real life, but not at work.
How about you keep on your stripper persona 24/7? Can you not do it? Why not?Originally Posted by Emily
why would I want to do that?
Cuz it seems as if you're happier with the stripper persona cuz you said it makes you more outgoing and more comfortable around strangers.



Sometimes guys my age come into work and I can tell immediately that we might get along really well because they seem like my guy friends. I usually act shy around boys like this, and they usually think it's cute. Then inevitably one of them will come up and ask if his friend can get a dance.
My approach with older guys, even though I'm a shy person, is to just talk to them like they are real people. I don't lay on the sex kitten act so much when I'm on offstage. I talk to them about 'adult' things and try to impress them with my precociousness. Not sure if this always works, but I know sometimes it amuses them greatly and does!
There is no salvation in becoming adapted to a world which is crazy.
Henry Miller
I didn't say that! First, it's all an act. I'm not more comfortable....just different.Originally Posted by kikin
And I like being shy. it reminds me that I'm human and not some kind of hypersexual fearless robot.

I am also painfully shy in real life. I think the reason we are able to overcome that at work is because we HAVE to if we want to make any money. Like Emily said, it's an act. I wouldn't want to keep up my stripper act 24/7 either. Geez! Whenever I see girls in the general public acting the way I do at work, I am annoyed. It doesn't work anywhere but the club or party.





I would think that it would be freaking exhausting to have to be the social butterflies we are at work in our lives OTC. Sometimes it's just nice to be quiet....




In regards to being in initiator with guys, I am shy. I do it at work to make money ofcourse. It took me some time to overcome the shyness when appoaching customers bc i was nervous they would not want me around.In an outside setting I can not approach guys that I am interested in too well. I can have convos with strangers though regardless.
Just not a hot guy in public that i am real interested in.... that will turn me into the sweet little innocent girl or something.





This is so true. Even when the cab drivers try to chat me up on the way home ("how's business? blah blah...") I just have no desire to talk. Small talking strange men is such a part of the job, I get sick of doing it for free.Originally Posted by DylanAngel




I get shy around guys that are really young, like 18-19, and especially if they're in a group. Also if they bring their girlfriends with them and their young. Other than that I'm very outgoing at work.
I'm a shy person too, though at work, I do become super outgoing. Although I could tap into that outside of work, its true that it is exhausting! After a long night of work, I feel drained...the last thing I want is to chit chat with other people!
That said, I do have my shy moments at work, too, though they are few and far between. It's usually when I'm just not vibing with someone, and I get all flustered and have to move on to the next customer...
I am so painfully shy in real life!!!
At work I tend to be a lot less shy, but not always.
Yes, I feel extremely shy sometimes when approaching custies. Kind of like a geek in high school, lol. I don't know what to say and sometimes if he's not into i just end up feeling like an idiot. I partically hate approaching groups because there is usually always an asshole in each group to make you feel worse.
I'm a really shy person, and I find it really hard to get over it, even though I've been dancing for two years.
I've never been a very sexy or seductive person, and most of my persona at work is all me. I'm the one goofing around on stage, not some alias I made up for myself. I can't sit and talk to you about diamonds or sex toys, but if you like movies or video games, I'm all yours.
Someone being me works for me. I'm not an "out of your league" girl, I'm usually the "cute one that caught (their) interest"
green, I cant see your tiny avatar that well but my guess is you dont have any reason to be shy from a looks point of view. But is is a truism that we dont see ourselves as others see us.Originally Posted by greenidlady1
As far as approaching groups of guys LOL those fuckers were probably drunk and wouldnt know a good looking woman if they saw one. Furthermore, I doubt they would care...they are just trying to impress each other. Kind of a locker room male thing LOL
FBR
Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.


Jenna78, from what I can see, you don't have any reason to be shy....i'd get a dance from you in a minute!
Do you dance at any of the ESL clubs?




I'm always shy at the beginning of a shift, when the question is "Will I make any money at all today?" After one person tips me really well or buys a dance, it's easier for me to talk to everyone, because I can compare them all to that one person: i.e., "Well, it's not me. That guy earlier was really nice -- this one's just an asshole, or he's having a bad day." Before that, I always wonder if I'm doing something wrong.![]()
I think a lot of dancers are shy. That's part of why they became dancers, to play a role that they've always wanted to play but were afraid to in real life. Dancing lets them put on a mask and try out being someone different from who they've always been. I've met a lot of dancers like that. I usually like dancers who are like that.
Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL)
I am extremely shy( used to have panic attacks at work b/c of all the people) but was so suprised at how dancing has allowed me to be more assertive and outgoing on a daily basis.
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