Hey girls. Just need a little support right now. I've been in denial for a few weeks now but I think i'm really depressed. I've been through this before almost two years ago and went on medication and took myself off it after I was back on my feet. Well...lately I've been sleeping longer and longer hours and not wanting to leave the house. I've been telling myself that I'm lazy and that I need to grow up and put things in order and do my dishes and register for that philosophy course, get my tire replaced... I end up doing nothing. NOTHING. I only dance now. That's IT. It's really pathetic. Dancing went from the best thing in my life to the only thing.
My only girlfriend really needs me right now and I dont think i have the strenght to hold her up. I really wish she could be here for me, selfish as it sounds, but she's having her own issues right now. My only guy friend now wants to date me (ewww). My ex has been really patient and nice. But he's the only contact with people that I have outside of the club. (Parents are out of the picture.)
I ended up skipping work tonight even though I needed to put in this day to make my quota for the week. I hate this. I never wanted to live to work. I wanted to work to live. But now that my boyfriend of four years has moved out and I'm in a process of re-evaluating my existence as a solo person... I find that I dont know how to live anymore. I dont know what to do with myself except to show up to work three to four days a week out of habit.
And dancing is such a lonely profession. The "relationships" or encounters there are fueled by money. No one ultimately cares. At least that's how i feel.
Life is a cycle... and I hate this part of it. Especially since it's chemical depression this time... and not just situational. It's not like I can just pull myself out of it. Just "manage" it. And this time... completely alone.
Just need some support. Thanks for listening, ladies.





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) reality", then magically decide not to suffer anymore. If it were a personal choice, who the fuck would CHOOSE to be depressed? 

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