Results 1 to 24 of 24

Thread: Anyone else working with depression?

  1. #1
    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Atlanta, GA
    Posts
    1,164
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 46 Times in 27 Posts

    Sad Anyone else working with depression?

    Hey girls. Just need a little support right now. I've been in denial for a few weeks now but I think i'm really depressed. I've been through this before almost two years ago and went on medication and took myself off it after I was back on my feet. Well...lately I've been sleeping longer and longer hours and not wanting to leave the house. I've been telling myself that I'm lazy and that I need to grow up and put things in order and do my dishes and register for that philosophy course, get my tire replaced... I end up doing nothing. NOTHING. I only dance now. That's IT. It's really pathetic. Dancing went from the best thing in my life to the only thing.

    My only girlfriend really needs me right now and I dont think i have the strenght to hold her up. I really wish she could be here for me, selfish as it sounds, but she's having her own issues right now. My only guy friend now wants to date me (ewww). My ex has been really patient and nice. But he's the only contact with people that I have outside of the club. (Parents are out of the picture.)

    I ended up skipping work tonight even though I needed to put in this day to make my quota for the week. I hate this. I never wanted to live to work. I wanted to work to live. But now that my boyfriend of four years has moved out and I'm in a process of re-evaluating my existence as a solo person... I find that I dont know how to live anymore. I dont know what to do with myself except to show up to work three to four days a week out of habit.

    And dancing is such a lonely profession. The "relationships" or encounters there are fueled by money. No one ultimately cares. At least that's how i feel.

    Life is a cycle... and I hate this part of it. Especially since it's chemical depression this time... and not just situational. It's not like I can just pull myself out of it. Just "manage" it. And this time... completely alone.

    Just need some support. Thanks for listening, ladies.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Strippers are like ninjas. You never know how many there are or if the person next to you is one.
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    ...I assume you probably don't want to deal with pervs, and the guys that just don't give a fuck about money are like unicorns...
    Quote Originally Posted by Sinder View Post
    I know I have said it before, and I'll say it again.... THE VAGINA IS NOT A CLOWN CAR!


  2. #2
    Veteran Member Miss_Eliza's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2003
    Location
    canada
    Posts
    247
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 1 Post

    Default Re: Anyone else working with depression?

    Living with depression sucks. It makes everything hard.
    If you have been on meds before and they work then it is a good idea to try again. You will be suprized how fast your strenght comes back.
    You should call your doctor for an appointment. If they tell you it will take two or three weeks or longer then you want to wait to get in. Then just start crying and exspress how bad you need help that you are missing work and can't get anything done. I break down on the phone should get you right in.
    You say psycho like it's a bad thing

  3. #3
    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Vancouver, BC
    Posts
    6,699
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 22 Times in 20 Posts

    Default Re: Anyone else working with depression?

    I agree with meds; if you've found a med that works for you, you're golden. I hate it when people say "just exercise and eat better. Visualize positive things!". Pull yourself up by the bootstraps and all- that's the specific thing that a person with depression can't do.

    There are natural meds; St John's Wort, Sam-e, 5-HTP...but nothing wrong with pharmaceuticals too, if you've found a good one. Once you're back on your feet, you can plan a strategy to try and deal with things with diet & exercise or whatever, but right now it's damage control, trying not to let your life get messed up by your depression.

    Imo, anyways.

    Feature costumes for sale!

  4. #4
    Yekhefah
    Guest

    Default Re: Anyone else working with depression?

    I know I've said it before but here it is again, because not enough people know and they don't usually tell you...

    If you are on the birth control pill, do not take St. John's Wort. It can render your pill ineffective.

    And the last thing you need when you're depressed is an unplanned pregnancy.

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Chicago Suburbs
    Posts
    145
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Anyone else working with depression?

    I can't say what I feel what you are feeling, but the times I have felt depressed, hanging out with friends was the best cure. Also, I have realized, that when I am depressed is to take one day at a time. I wish you the best.

  6. #6
    God/dess
    Joined
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    2,352
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Anyone else working with depression?

    I have lived this nightmare for many years but I keep going dont know how the cold barrel hasnt gotten the best of me but what the hell . I love and hate life at the same time how the fuck does this occur ? Well no one has the cure for depression and I'm not going to baby walk ur ass through this you just gotta wake up and smell reality its not that bad . Dont suffer anymore face the facts its sad sometimes and it sucks get past it move on and face it again . Sorry just the way I deal ok - drinking to its all good its the cope.

  7. #7
    Veteran Member Natalia108's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Adelaide, South Australia
    Posts
    465
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: Anyone else working with depression?

    i have it on and off .. atm im not on anything for it so i guess thats a good sign..
    as far as working goes when ya work and your depressed too seem too fall in a hole and dont make the money that you want too make , then seeing as ya dont make that money ya get more depressed.. its not a good thing too work as a dancer when you have depression as everything get too ya and when you dont feel good about yaself you dont look good on the outside no matter how hard you try..

    anyways im going thro this whole thing myself with not making the money i want too n all but hey tonights a new night and im going too go into it without any expectations n just have fun.. after all ill only live once n i cant do this job forever

    i hope you find ya happy medium and that reading my experience may help a little .. if not at least you may find comfort in knowing that you are not alone in the world n that there are others that do fully understand what you are going thro!

  8. #8
    Veteran Member rain's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2005
    Location
    portland, oregon
    Posts
    206
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Anyone else working with depression?

    I know how you feel, see my post "I'm depressed..."
    I don't know what to do, either. its hard to do anything when youre depressed.
    but....what i try to do is try to just keep going.

    keep on livin'
    thats all i can say
    There is no salvation in becoming adapted to a world which is crazy.
    Henry Miller

  9. #9
    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Monkey Land
    Posts
    4,794
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Anyone else working with depression?

    I don't know if this will help or not - but it's in many industries. Most of the people I work with are probably depressed...and that certainly includes myself. It's not a fun thing to admit....but it is what it is. So....for anyone in any industry....I'm with ya.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

  10. #10
    madmaxine
    Guest

    Default Re: Anyone else working with depression?

    I bullied myself out of my last depression- I started learning about Henry Rollins, & I was like, Dang, if this guy can still get up in the morning after all he's been through, so can I.
    But yeah, it happens to most sooner or later. And stripping is a hard lonely road- you get used to guys looking at you like rare meat in heels, your guy friends start coming at you with their d*cks in their hands, your family rags on you even though you're supporting yourself, and all in all, the world looks like a dogfight.
    Honestly, I refer to my sense of ego & entitlement now for my fuel. (It sounds better when you call it Objectivism LOL.) I am proud of myself, and have been through so much already. To be hobbled by something stupid like Seasonal Affective Disorder, a d*ck brained man or an a*shole employer is to insult the fine specimen of mammal that I am. (I hope you're laughing by now. If not, you'll be there in a minute...) On "Saturday Night Live" there used to be a faux motivational speaker named Stuart Smalley, and in his segments, he would look at himself in the mirror & say, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me!" At the very least it will make you laugh, and laughter is medicine. Humor has gotten me through some ugly times in my life.

  11. #11
    Veteran Member logan820's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Canyon, Texas
    Posts
    573
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Anyone else working with depression?

    I think you should go back on meds. I have been battling anxiety for years, and take meds they have helped me. I don;t think I will ever go off them. Hanging w/ friends helps, and just getting out of your house will help. Put some make-up on and a nice outfit. When you don't take care of yourself it can make things worse, don't hole up in your home alone. Stripping is lonely. The worst can be coming home to an empty hotel room with bruises alll over your legs! You can also meet some good people (I have been lucky) that make it worth it

  12. #12
    Veteran Member MsTopaz's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2005
    Location
    the abyss
    Posts
    276
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Anyone else working with depression?

    Quote Originally Posted by MojoJojo
    I don't know if this will help or not - but it's in many industries. Most of the people I work with are probably depressed...and that certainly includes myself. It's not a fun thing to admit....but it is what it is. So....for anyone in any industry....I'm with ya.

    i have to agree on this one. i work in IT and am serverly depressed on a daily basis. being diagnosed with moderate sever depression (and having lived with it for 10 to 15 years) doesn't help the situation either. For me meds don't work. they work for some, but not me. i can't take something that will wreck my physical health in order to 'feel better'. these days i feel like i'm in a dangerously downward spiral. i feel like noone cares about me or my well being so why should i...but...i have to care. i have my neice with me now. i'm responsable (sp) for rasing her now (since my sister won't do it) so i have to care...but it's hard.

    anyway what i'm trying to say in all those words is that i understand. we may not be in the same industry...but i understand what you're dealing with. 'cause i'm still dealing with it too..
    why do some people still have to fight to get the same opportunities that are given to others?

    reclusiveness...is a good thing.

    the greatest revenge in the world...is success.


  13. #13
    Member
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    45
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Anyone else working with depression?

    I take meds. I've suffered from depression since I was 15. I can't deal without the meds, I've stopped taking them before and everything is cool for a few months then slowly i spiral down, stop eating, sleep all the time, don't answer the phone or my door. Don't feel bad about getting on meds, many people suffer from chronic forms of depression (I'm not insinuating you're chronic, but if you've felt this way before, it's a sign). I take Topomax and Paxil. The paxil helps with depression and anxiety. topomax 'levels' me out. If you have mood swings the Topomax works really good. And as a bonus, I've lost about 15 lbs on topomax. It really curbs your hunger and counteracts the anit-depressant weight gain. Only bad side effect--NO sex drive. But for me it's worth it.

  14. #14
    Tart
    Guest

    Default Re: Anyone else working with depression?

    agh depression.

    Well i think im going through my lil bout as well at the moment. And I refuse Rx meds. NOt that I'm against them., but I had one bad bad bad incident with paxil and that's about all it took to convince me that unless Im suicidal , I wont go there.

    I have tried Sam-e ( didnt do StJohns for the exact reason posted above. ) I didnt seem to notice any effect from it. I tried it for 60 days so plenty of time to do the trail and error run.

    This industry as a whole can be very lonely and depressing for extended periods of time. i think we all know that , and most of the time probably want to over look that factor.

    For me it's not the men. I've grown to accept the shit that I'll have to sometimes deal with. I see my career as an acting career .When Im at work Im nikki. Period point blank. So thats nothing that causes me to go spinning off in a loathing .

    Honestly, my depression seems to kick in over drive when Im not doing well money wise, when I working long hours...when friends quit calling because Im never able to go out ( due to the hours and the drive. ) Im constantly exhausted so I find myself just wanting to be a lazy lump.

    I think you are dealing more with exhaustion then depression. They appear the same. However, you find that once you take a 2 week vacation..somewhere warm..sunny and far removed you do better.

    This job has a high turn over rate for a reason. Burn out.

    I have two kids and I get upset because i feel that when I have time at home im not utitilizing it for them.. instead im napping or doing nothing. But im simply too damn tired to motivate.

    BUT when I go away for a weekend ( because I cant leave longer then that. ) when I return im good to go for about 3 more weeks.

    Its just a thought. But if the meds you were on before worked... then I'd go at least talk to your dr about it again.

    give the vacation idea some thought. Sometimes ..reflection time does a lot of GOOD.

  15. #15
    Featured Member LilSweetVixen's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Location
    US
    Posts
    1,161
    Thanks
    8
    Thanked 18 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Anyone else working with depression?

    When I went home for Thanksgiving my depression lifted in 4 days and hit me like a wind as soon as I touched my room door, no bullshit. I had plans and hopes during those 4 days and when I came back I got back into a "lazy" groove. So now I know that's it the environment. So my advice is surround yourself with family and friends you know well--in person, as much as possible.

    They'll have different types of successes and failures, so you won't feel pressure to succeed. You'll talk about a range of things that are grounded in reality, like what happened on the news, who won the game, not just when are you working, what time should we leave.

    I think that some people at work really DO care about you. But you don't really know them outside of work. You have to beat it by having a lot of human contact 24/7 not just for a few hours. So make family, then friends, a priority, then boyfriends, and then after that co-workers and associates.

    "You have demonic genius" -Naomi Wolf
    "I very much resent it when people - maybe with good intentions or from a progressive point of view - keep telling me, 'It's their culture' ... It's like saying the culture of Massachusetts is burning witches." -Azar Nafisi


  16. #16
    Member
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    56
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Anyone else working with depression?

    Whether your dealing with situational depression or an imbalance, I would go seek help. People are always trying to tell someone that they can just "snap out of it" but for someone who deals with depression, it's not so easy. Try talking to a psychiatrist and see what they recommend, whether it is meds or therapy or some kind of coping mechanism that will help you to take your life back into control. I've dealt with depression for many, many years and it's not easy... but you can feel better. Good luck.

  17. #17
    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Atlanta, GA
    Posts
    1,164
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 46 Times in 27 Posts

    Default Re: Anyone else working with depression?

    Just want to say thanks to all for your understanding and support. Today is a better day... and i'm hoping tomorrow is uphill again instead of downhill. But i never know!!

    Dont know where to start with meds. I have no health insurance, and got the original medication from psychiatric school nurse when i was in college and she has dropped off the face of the planet. I think i'm gonna ride it out some more and see if it doesnt get better on its own.

    Tart--thanks for the suggestion about time off. I think it has something to do with exhaustion a bit. And like you, it's gotten worse since my money has gotten worse. But yeah... i'm glad other people understand that depression is not a mood and not something you can just snap out of.

    Hugs to you all... thanks.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Strippers are like ninjas. You never know how many there are or if the person next to you is one.
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    ...I assume you probably don't want to deal with pervs, and the guys that just don't give a fuck about money are like unicorns...
    Quote Originally Posted by Sinder View Post
    I know I have said it before, and I'll say it again.... THE VAGINA IS NOT A CLOWN CAR!


  18. #18
    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    4,183
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 14 Times in 12 Posts

    Default Re: Anyone else working with depression?

    I empathize with you girl. I don't feel like doing shit either but I haven't been, lol. I just started taking this new herb today called 5-HTP, you can read about it on the body business forum. I think this time of year gets people down too because of the pressure to buy gifts and go see the family, etc. Plus, everything is so rushy this time of year and it's hell to try to go anywhere. Then custies are cheap because of the upcoming holiday.

    I feel like routine takes over my life sometimes too. My hubby wants to get up, go the gym, tan, come home, take a nap, eat then go to work everyday. Then on the days we are off go out to eat dinner that evening. He thinks routine is good for me and it is to a certain extent, especially when I am depressed. But something different always lightens me up. Maybe, go get a massage today if you can afford it. Or take a little trip. I enjoy going to a nice hotel with a spa that allows pets and staying alone with my dog. I'll go and order room service by myself, pig out in front of the tv, watch what I want on tv, go get a massage, then wake-up, order more room service, go for a morning swim indoors, then go shopping and of course hot tea in the evening. Now, that's the life for me.

    If you are more of an active person than take a snow-skiing trip or go hiking. Hope this helps you some.

  19. #19
    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    3,103
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 15 Times in 9 Posts

    Default Re: Anyone else working with depression?

    I've battled on and off since age 16, and then I got anxiety so bad with my ex husband that I was actually prescribed valium just to keep me calm and to help me sleep because I have always had sleep issues.

    However, I have also bullied myself out of things, I tend to be my own self medicating bitch. I can yell at myself and succeed at losing weight if needed, reaching goals etc.. and when i find myself depressed, I make sure that I am not staying in bed, and if I am REALLY depressed, like I was recently, I give myself that time I need to sort through what has caused it, and then make sure that I dont' spend more than a week alone isolated and I try to keep my routine going. I run, so I make sure that I keep doing the things I was doing before. I also keep a journal and I write everything down. This has always helped me, maybe it might help you?

    Take care of yourself, and know that you are not alone.


    [/URL]
    [/URL]



  20. #20
    Member bonniekat's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Austin, TX
    Posts
    36
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Anyone else working with depression?

    Really glad to hear that today has been better! But I do want to second (and third) everybody who has supported your going to the doctor for meds. Days will be better and worse and you may want to take the good days to look into the medication possibility so that you can stave off even worse days.

    Several years ago I HAD to get meds and I didn't have any insurance either. I would think every city has a mental health facility that caters to uninsured patients -- that's where I went. The building was in an icky part of town, but I spoke with doctors and got my meds for free.

    Although you don't seem too concerned, please don't let the fact that mental health professionals may not be too understanding of your chosen work prevent you from seeking help. I never had a terrible experience, but you may need to be firm. To paraphrase a previous comment, you are in crisis management mode and being unemployed won't help.

    There is NOTHING wrong with taking care of yourself by getting the help you need and staying employed if you are able.

    One last note (sorry so long) meds did work for me, but I would highly, highly encourage you to seek therapy. Depression and dancing do seem to compound each other and you may find that talking helps even more than the little pills!

    Best of luck!

  21. #21
    madmaxine
    Guest

    Default Re: Anyone else working with depression?

    This is important to add- exercise can do wonders. The health benefits have been documented and of course you can put distance between you & your stressors. In fact, I feel much better when I run every day.
    I don't have insurance either so I used Saint John's Wort, with great results. It is comparable to Prozac, but cheaper & available at health food stores.
    Good luck.

  22. #22
    Member MysteriousDestiny's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    31
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: Anyone else working with depression?

    ...I'm not going to baby walk ur ass through this you just gotta wake up and smell reality its not that bad . Dont suffer anymore face the facts its sad sometimes and it sucks get past it move on and face it again...
    First of all, fuck this ^^ shit. You can't expect to simply "wake up and smell ( ) reality", then magically decide not to suffer anymore. If it were a personal choice, who the fuck would CHOOSE to be depressed?

    I was diagnosed with clinical depression a few years ago, and it was going on a lot earlier than that. I was put on medication (prozac), but it put me into a stoned daze to the point where I couldn't really function effectively, and the dose kept having to be increased as I built up a tolerance to it. After a few months, I felt like I had to go off it. Then I tried therapy...I didn't have insurance at the time, but the local hospital had a program that provided counselling services at lower costs based on an income scale, going down to as low as ten bucks an hour. I found that therapy worked a lot better for me than meds, because I had some underlying issues that would trigger major bouts of depression...and once I had talked it out and figured out what they were, I could watch for them and try to "head off" trigger thoughts before they led to full-blown, lie on the floor and sob for days, episodes.

    So, my advice would be, put your effort/money into getting therapy instead of meds. I'm sorry you've been having a rough time, and I hope your emotional upswing continues!

    Edit: Perhaps "Fuck this shit" was a little too harsh of a sentiment towards the original poster of the excerpted quote...if simply facing facts and deciding not to be depressed works for him, hey, more power to him. It just sounded a lot like the "snap yourself out of it" advice I've gotten from people who, despite being well-meaning, had no idea what the hell they were talking about.
    Last edited by MysteriousDestiny; 12-11-2005 at 11:08 PM.

  23. #23
    Member
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    45
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Anyone else working with depression?

    Yes, look for a clinic. Try the phone book--mental health services--generally there is a free (or income-based) mental health clinic in every county. I would try therapy first. The job does put a lot of stress on you and talking may be enough. For me, things like St John's Wort don't work, but it may work for you--I would ask a doctor first though. Also consider your family history. When i started researching my family I found a few cases of family members who commited suicide or attempted it and were hospitalized. That sort of sealed the deal for me--made me admit it was a genetic problem, more serious than what I wanted to believe. Start with a low income clinic, research family, therapy and go from there. But don't ignore it if it gets worse. Especially if you start having the suicidal fantasies or thoughts. I prolly shouldn't talk about this so publicly, but what the fuck, I'm well now--when I was on my way down, I started having 'fantasies' of suicide. I didn't actually consider doing it, they were just little day dreams about how i would do it. They started to occur more frequently and over time they were all I could think about--even though I wasn't going to act on them. Eventually they turned into plots, plans of how and when I would do it. They went from fantasy to a plan, and it happened over a period of about 6 months. If you're having any fantasies, please get help. Mine started as just little day dreams, they seemed harmless. But they turned into something very serious, and it happened so gradually that I didn't even notice. If you have this symptom, don't wait or put it off.

  24. #24
    Senior Member Kat_onahot_tinroof's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Houston, Texas
    Posts
    77
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Anyone else working with depression?

    Paintgoddess,

    Don't wait on getting seen for depression. It is a serious thing. Get on some meds now baby. You are describing what could be something pretty serious and could get out of hand very quickly. If you can't afford a Doc, just take yourself into the ER pronto. Describe to them what's going on and they will give you a prescription... Zoloft is one of the better antidepressants but there are other antidepressants out there too. I would steer clear of Wellbutrin. Keep in mind that it takes approximately 2 to 3 weeks for an antidepressant to kick in fully and you are prone within that time period to a depression crash, so stay close to friends and family while the medicine is doing it's job. I speak from lots of experience on this subject. Go to the website About.com and look up Depression. Lots of good info on there for you to read.

    I wish you the best of luck, and hope you do take to heart what I have just typed.

    Hugs and kisses,
    Kat
    "If anyone asks me, have I paid my dues in life... I tell em, why yes, and the checks in the mail.."!

Similar Threads

  1. anyone have depression too? :/
    By sweetheart18 in forum Life Support
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 09-20-2011, 08:35 PM
  2. I get more molested working bikini than I do working nude!
    By emily1015 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 08-06-2006, 01:00 PM
  3. Re: Depression
    By TiNi in forum Body Business
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 03-10-2003, 05:22 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •