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Thread: In need of guy advice

  1. #1
    Senior Member StitchesH's Avatar
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    In need of guy advice

    Alright first off, I am so sorry that you have to hear this...my best friend and I are in a BIG fight and I have no one else really close to me to talk about things.
    See I've had alot of bad crap happen to me in the past and I've always stayed away from relationships. I like this guy now and his name is Chris and i'm really interested in getting to know him better. Well, he's still kinda heart broken from his ex...who happened to start dancing once and awhile during their relationship. He was trusted her fully. She cheated on him and left him for one of her custies.... who happened to be pretty well off and much older. I guess in her case, money was her ticket for happiness. Well, I thought I was over him during thanksgiving week because my old co worker (Remember I work in a restaurant ) came in while Chris was out of town and told me she was his new girlfriend! This pissed me off because I just told her that I liked him the week before. Well, I finally confronted Chris tonight. I asked him if him and her were still together. He said no and then honestly told me how they slept together one night drunk and she wouldn't sleep with him with out the boyfriend title. I told him that I did like him but when I found out about him and her I got over it. Then he mentions how he is basically sleeping around. And then says if he really got to know a girl long enough to really care for her he would be loyal and treat her like gold. I do know that he would do that, but I'm not sure if he might be liking this new partying thing to much to maybe go back to it one night during a relationship. And I don't like having my friends seconds, but she is a whore and sleeps around.
    But one of the problems is that I do want to start dancing, I'm even getting toned up to do it....but I kno it would be a problem because of what happened to him with his ex. But I really feel comfortable around him and thats hard for me to find considering my past. And he would be able to help me threw that....but I don't know if he'd be happy with the wanting to dance thing. So what do i do? I really need someone to love me and help me get threw things but I also want to experiance the thrill of being on stage!

  2. #2
    Senior Member StitchesH's Avatar
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    Default Re: In need of guy advice

    and he admits what he did with he was shallow and wrong. He's not to proud of it. And then him finding out that I liked him and that the sleeping with her was a no go for me.....his tone just dropped and you could tell he really regreted it

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    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re: In need of guy advice

    Do I really need to read beyond, "Well, he's still kinda heart broken from his ex...".

    REBOUND - move on.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

  4. #4
    Veteran Member RachelleD's Avatar
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    Default Re: In need of guy advice

    I'm with Mojo on this one... plus, if you want to dance, foregoing that for a guy is always a bad idea & you'd probably kick yourself later. He doesn't sound like he's worth all that effort, & even though you like him, you can probably find someone better who will accept everything about you (dancing included) & appreciate you. Good luck
    "She believed she could, so she did." -unknown

    **Rachelle**

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    Senior Member TorontoGuy's Avatar
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    Default Re: In need of guy advice

    I tend to believe that if there is that much drama involved (especially this early on)... the guy ain't your match.

    Also remember that this guy told a woman that yes, he was her boyfriend - just to have a one night stand with her. Guys will almost always lie for sex (myself included)... but the nicer guys have lied to themselves and not realised it before sharing that lie with you, while the creeps will just say whatever it takes fully knowing that they're manipulating you. Those kinds of behaviours don't change overnight, and telling you he's ashamed and has changed is more than likely just another lie.

    I'd also suggest you be a little nicer to your female friend - calling her a whore because she has sex with a lot of guys isn't nice to her or to prostitutes. Maybe she just enjoys sex, maybe she doesn't know any other way to try and get a man... either way, it's no reason to look down on her.

  6. #6
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: In need of guy advice

    Tell him, "when you are done partying and whooping it up, let me know." I am sure something like 'Well, if the way is she can go out all night partying it up with these guys then maybe I better get with the program and party it up with the chicks."

    Since he got burned on dancing, you're right, it will be an issue. All the stereotypes about dancers have been confirmed with real world evidence regarding his ex. Right now I read "nice honest faithful guy turning into bitter player guy" and all the women of the world get to pay for what has happened to him.

    So I guess the question regarding your dancing is: Would that relationship last longer than dancing? Or would dancing last longer than that relationship?

    If you persue a relationship with him, you are gonna have to have some real heart to hearts with him more as a best friend than as a girlfriend and hope it turns into more.

    (Here is a hint for all those gals who put guys in the "friend zone" - of all the marriages that I have seen work - it is the one's where the two were buddies and pals before their relationship turned into a love affair. It is easier to ditch a bitch wife or asshole husband than it is to ditch your best friend!)

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    Senior Member StitchesH's Avatar
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    Default Re: In need of guy advice

    [QUOTE=Deogol]

    So I guess the question regarding your dancing is: Would that relationship last longer than dancing? Or would dancing last longer than that relationship?
    QUOTE]


    I've never thought of it that way. And dancing is important to me in my life and getting my life together. Boys can so wait....especially rebounding ones. And we've been friends for a while now....I think that might be best and if things change....they change on their own.
    Thanks for all the advice
    And my old co worker....Its hard to respect her because she's slept with so many guys that I have dated (AND NOT SLEPT WITH) or in this case was crushing. Its some self esteem issue she has. It gets to me, thats why I barely talk to her anymore. I can't trust her

  8. #8
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: In need of guy advice

    (Here is a hint for all those gals who put guys in the "friend zone" - of all the marriages that I have seen work - it is the one's where the two were buddies and pals before their relationship turned into a love affair. It is easier to ditch a bitch wife or asshole husband than it is to ditch your best friend!)
    I completely agree. My relationship so far has gone the best so far than any others I've had. Although it has only just started, I feel more comfy and at ease because he was my best friend first. Started out as friends and fell in love with each other.

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    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Re: In need of guy advice

    What do you do?

    You do whatever YOU want to do for you. Sounds like this guy is on a rebound, which will mean a broken heart, and more mistrust etc for you... as for the dancing, in all my experience (all 13 years of it), if you want to do it, do it and don't look back, you only live once and who cares what people think.

    If you take a look deep in yourself, you will know what you have to do that is right for you. We all do, it just sometimes takes a shove in the direction, sometimes completely opposite for us to find out.

    Good luck
    G


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