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Thread: Need advice!!

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    Default Need advice!!

    I am a bit confused so looking for some help/advice/comment.

    I am from the UK, and last night I was out in a strange town and ended up in a strip club. I have been to them before, probably about 4/5 times a year I might end up in one at the end of the night. I was at the bar and this girl walks over and starts chatting to me, now anyways we chat for about 20 minutes non stop, this girl is just so nice, so she asks me if I want a dance, I am happy chatting but I say ok so she dances for me and afterwards I am thinking to myself this girl is so nice so I say to her 'how much money will you make for the rest of the night?' Its 1 hour before closing by the way. She says ' about 150 why?' I say 'cos if I gave you 150 would you stay with me for the rest of the evening?' At this point I am also thinking that I am slightly crazy but anyways she agress and we spend the next hour together. During that hour, she didnt dance for me at all and I could have asked her to dance for an hour non stop. The thing was we just sat and chatted and chatted and chatted. Now I am not new on the block (I'm 25) and I am not daft, I can read when people are faking but this girl was just so great, she was like my ideal woman in every way, we had the same interests, from same area of the country, same likes/dislikes, same holiday destinations, she was very intelligent and everything just fitted. At the end of the night she wished me well, gave me a peck on the cheek and I left. Basically I didnt know what to do at the time, I thought if I ask for the girls number I might get thrown out or just be too full on. But since last night, I cant get her out of my head at all, its not often you click with someone and I feel I might be missing out here by not pursuing this further. But how should I do it? What should I do? I am a bit at a loss really so any comment, advice will be great.

    Sorry if I have rambled!!

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    Featured Member kikin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need advice!!

    great experience...but somehow you will need to get her out of your head. Go back to the club and be with her again. That will help to get her out of your head. If you want something to come of this you will just have to get her out of your head.

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    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need advice!!

    You had a nice time and an enjoyable fantasy. And she was successful in giving you enjoyable time for her money. Now move on with your life. If you go back, you will start expecting more than she is willing to give.

    Consider it practice for relating to more accessible women. Long distance relationships with dancers are completely impractical.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

  4. #4
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Need advice!!

    Sorry to say, but it looks like the only thing she did was do her job VERY well. Simple as that.

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    Featured Member Lyssa Lynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need advice!!

    You say she was your ideal woman in every way. Honey that's our job. To fill your fantasy and make you feel like a king. She's obviously good at this and if you want more...hit the ATM and go back to see her. Just remember it's fantasy, it stays in the club!

  6. #6
    Cally
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    Default Re: Need advice!!

    She did her job very very well. I will do this for customers ... make it seem like I have all the same intrests... makes guys wanna stick around and give me money. But you never know she may have been sincere. Sometimes its hard to tell with the girl. But our job basically is to make you fall in love with us.
    Nice to know you had a good time though. Maybe go back.. see if she remembers you... get to know her some and see how true she really is... im not saying you'll get a chance to date her but you may develope a nice club fav or friend.

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    Member RS's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need advice!!

    Keep this in mind: in Greek mythology, Sirens were part human, part bird and lived on a rocky island in the middle of the sea. They sang melodies so beautiful that sailors passing by couldn't resist getting closer to them. Following the sound of music, the sailors would steer their boats towards them or jump in the water to get closer. Either way, it always ended in disaster on the rocks.

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    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need advice!!

    Phil, strippers (as a rule) arent shy. If she was interested in you as a potential romantic interest rather than an ATM there would be no doubt or question. She just dumped a 55 gallon drum of excellent SS on you in order to extract money from your wallet and secure you as a future customer. Since you say you club often, Im surprised you didnt recognize it for what it was. Just because you want to believe you two are some sort of soul mates doesnt make it true.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need advice!!

    Phil, strippers (as a rule) arent shy. If she was interested in you as a potential romantic interest rather than an ATM there would be no doubt or question. She just dumped a 55 gallon drum of excellent SS on you in order to extract money from your wallet and secure you as a future customer. Since you say you club often, Im surprised you didnt recognize it for what it was. Just because you want to believe you two are some sort of soul mates doesnt make it true.
    Amen. Well said, indeed.

    Strippers don't hesitate to let it be known without ambiguity that they have more than an economic interest in a customer. You need to recalibrate, and remember that one needs to have realistic expectations within the unrealistic environment of the SC. Failure to do so will make you an embittered PL and ruin the fun that SCs provide.

    Two cents.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    Veteran Member toomuchhomeworklately's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need advice!!

    Sorry the advice has been harsh, but I agree with FBR - if she liked you as much as you liked her, you would have known. I've been dancing for 3 years & only clicked with 1 customer the way you clicked with this girl. After talking with him for nearly 2 hours(!) after dancing for him I said, "so are you ever gonna ask for my #?" We live in different time zones, but I enjoy having him as a friend.

    You said you were in a "strange" town - I'm an optimist, so I'd say visit her again, if that's possible. If she wants it to be more than a business relationship she'll let you know. Let her make the first move. In any dancer's mind "I'd love to take you out sometime" or whatever translates to "I'll treat you to dinner, but I'd really just like to have sex with you." If she wants to be friends (or more) Great! If not, you'll still get the best dances from her cause she's your dream girl.

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    Senior Member mspussykatus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need advice!!

    I am with everyone else, we dancers are not shy. My current boyfriend that I have been living with for over a year started out as a customer. But we really clicked and I was totally into him, so on the 3rd time he came in I said, "So when are you going to ask me out?" And the rest is history. If you go back and visit her, do not ask her out no matter what you do, if she wants to she will make the first move.

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    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need advice!!

    You should ask Mr. Punk about this on the blue site. I am sure it would make entertaining reading.

  13. #13
    bostondancer
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    Default Re: Need advice!!

    Why did he think he could have had her dance for the whole hour ? Alot of the time dancers get paid to just sit and talk , like what happened here . If you would have wanted dances you should/would have had to make that clear in the beginning . Anyways you had the experiance that all men are suppose to have when they go in to the SC's , it was fun huh ?

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    Default Re: Need advice!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Philuk1uk
    What should I do? I am a bit at a loss really so any comment, advice will be great.
    You should try to forget the experience altogether. When you do think of it, concentrate on the money you spent and the fact that the only reason she talked to you is because you paid her to do so.

    Just my humble opinion.

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    Default Re: Need advice!!

    You should ask Mr. Punk about this on the blue site. I am sure it would make entertaining reading.
    Oh, I second that.

    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    Default Re: Need advice!!

    "clicking" with someone is rare. I myself only had it really happen once in a club. I left feeling that I wanted to just hang out and talk some more, different from the I just want some sex with that hot body. I can remember thinking about her all the time too. And yes I went back to see her. The difference between our experiences was however that when I first met her we sat and talked for an hour at her initiation and I gave her no money or received any dances, we just had a couple of drinks as if we were in any bar. My mistake was going back and buying her time, because then I was never sure whether she liked me or the money. At this point if you go back she will expect the money. My advice, don't go back and stop thinking about her, it will save you a great deal of frustration, and besides your only 25 hit some regular bars where good conversation costs you the price of a drink.

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    Default Re: Need advice!!

    I'd recommend seeing her again at the club to see if the same interest is there. Pay her for the time if necessary. Then twards the end ask her if she'd like your number if she doesn't ask. What do you have to lose? If she says no or gives some reason about not seeing customers, fine. You still had a nice time, right.

    This way it either goes on, or you can put it to a close before your heart is involved. If you're not careful with this, it can hurt like hell!

    This has worked out for me, but I'm still careful. I always cover her for the time while she is in the club and we see each other outside when I'm in town. We have also talked about how to handle the money between us because it can get touchy, and I want to see her when I'm there and she has to make money to survive.

    Have I gotten hurt, yes. Lesson learned; don't get involved with dancers half your age to start with. I had no intention of getting to know another dancer that close, then I met a gal like the one you described. It's working so far and we both agreed to take it slow.

    Rick

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