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Thread: Why buy dances with girls you don't like?

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Why buy dances with girls you don't like?

    This one just has me stumped! Every club I've worked at I have heard this from guys:
    "I don't really like her, but I promised I'd buy a dance from her."

    Or some variation on this line. Is this a cop out or am I just not being dominent enough?

    I watched a guy last night trow gobs of money at a dancer, who he said over and over again how much she "bugged" him, and that he tips her to make her go away. Ummmm... that is like feeding stray animals to make them go away.

    Why, oh, why would you spend money to have a crappy expirence at a strip club?

    I must be missing some vital piece of info here.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Senior Member mspussykatus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why buy dances with girls you don't like?

    Ha! I hate that too! I hear that every once in a while too and it bugs the shit out of me! "Oh, I would love to buy a dance from you, I think you are the hottest one here, but I feel sorry for this girl and I told her I would get a dance." My response to him,"Why?" He says, "I just feel so sorry for her." Ok she has a dry personality, and looks like unattractive bucktoothed twelve year old boy. Come on man, don't waste your money!

    I don't know why, I guess they are just being nice guys!

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    Default Re: Why buy dances with girls you don't like?

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris
    "I don't really like her, but I promised I'd buy a dance from her."
    That's a cop-out. It's GOT to be!

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    Default Re: Why buy dances with girls you don't like?

    Some dancers will bug customers endlessly to buy a dance from them. They may promise "Just get one. If you don't like it you don't have to get anymore. How do you know you won't like my dances if you don't try one?". Some customers might buy the one dance just to make the stripper go away.

    Some customers might buy the BS pity stories strippers sometimes tell customers. I'll buy a dance from her because I feel sorry about her grandmother who medical bills she has to pay tommorow.

    You get the idea. Some guys just can't stand up for themselves. Seems they would ideal customers, no?

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    Default Re: Why buy dances with girls you don't like?

    About 2 years ago I was called an A-hole by a dancer that I refused to mercy-tip at the bar. Not only that, she told the next three dancers who walked towards me that "he's an A-hole, don't waste your time". A few weeks ago the same cow in a g-string plopped her celulite riddled ass next to me and offered me a hand job in the private room for $50. I told her I was just an A-hole and she shouldn't waste her time on me. She called me a jerk and walked away.

    Why would a guy buy a dance(or anything else) from a dancer he doesn't like?

    Ya got me....
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    Featured Member kikin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why buy dances with girls you don't like?

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris
    This one just has me stumped! Every club I've worked at I have heard this from guys:
    "I don't really like her, but I promised I'd buy a dance from her."
    I do something like that too, sometimes. I buy at least one dance from the club's highest earner each time I'm there even though I don't find her that hot. I believe it's good policy to perpetuate a myth. Plus it gets me on some radar screens...

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why buy dances with girls you don't like?

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris
    "I don't really like her, but I promised I'd buy a dance from her."
    He didn't use this on you while trying to sell him a dance yourself did he? Some guys can't even lie well, I swear.

    What can I say but that strip clubs are magnets for various types of maladjusted men. Just as you have your non-tipping gawkers who try to be as rude and cheap as possible, you have your masochists who think its their duty in life to soothe the pain of every charity case they see with their money.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why buy dances with girls you don't like?

    I must be missing some vital piece of info here.
    Men who don't say no to insipid, annoying dancers in whom they have no interest largely for the same reason they patronize SCs in the first place--they can't deal with women in a social capacity OTC or ITC. They don't want to say no, or hurt her feelings, nevermind that it's not what he himself wants or that dancers accept rejection as part of the job description, since it's largely a sales position.

    These types of customers only encourage the overtly rude and mercenary behavior that can make a visit to an SC thoroughly irritating and unenjoyable. I don't post TRs, but I experienced this dancer archetype most recently during my tour of FL with Mast. This was not an SW girl; if it was, I wouldn't even post it.

    I'm at the bar, trying to get a drink from a bartender who can't be bothered because she's busy chatting it up with another dancer, when I'm approached by a dancer. Considering she had no business whatsoever being a dancer (I won't even describe her physical appearance) I couldn't be less interested, and my body language showed it (not facing her, body turned away from her). She grabs my forearm and offers me FS right off the top. I suppress a deep, guttural laugh and give her a standard, "Thanks, but no." I even smile. She persists for the two minutes it takes the bartender to pull her head out of her ass before I die from dehydration, as I ignore her the entire time. Bartender asks me, "Would you like to buy a drink for the lady?"

    "No, I'm all set, thanks." Naturally, I get the look from the both of them--the ever-popular, you're-such-a-cheap-bastard look, even though I'd spent a bundle that night.

    That's right, you're a nasty streetwalker trying to pass yourself off as an attractive, appealing dancer, and I'm the fucking asshole...whatthefuckever.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    Default Re: Why buy dances with girls you don't like?

    Quote Originally Posted by Casual Observer

    These types of customers only encourage the overtly rude and mercenary behavior that can make a visit to an SC thoroughly irritating and unenjoyable. I don't post TRs, but I experienced this dancer archetype most recently during my tour of FL with Mast. This was not an SW girl; if it was, I wouldn't even post it.
    This was very rampant in another club CO and I were in. When we met paige and velvet, velvet had to bear her fangs to keep the uninteresting women at bay. but that wasn't enough in my case, PAIGE HAD TO SIT ON MY LAP OH THE HORROR.

    CO do you remember what fucking actor the mother/daughter team kept telling me I looked like?

    Then there was the Amazon blonde who grabbed my shirt with her butt cheeks and pulled my shirt while talking to another guy. *Sigh*

    Quote Originally Posted by Casual Observer
    "No, I'm all set, thanks." Naturally, I get the look from the both of them--the ever-popular, you're-such-a-cheap-bastard look, even though I'd spent a bundle that night.
    Now what CO just said there is very KEY. For it is the answer to the question posed in this thread. For some, "he ever-popular, you're-such-a-cheap-bastard look" is just too much to handle.

    Quote Originally Posted by Casual Observer
    That's right, you're a nasty streetwalker trying to pass yourself off as an attractive, appealing dancer, and I'm the fucking asshole...whatthefuckever.
    At this particular club I got hit up 3 times by dancers for FS. But then again I was introducing myself by my SW name
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why buy dances with girls you don't like?

    There was this girl at the last club that I worked at... hunchbacked, big crooked nose, and such a huge overbite that she couldn't close her mouth, and just a little... off, mentally. She would wear those theme outfits you get at Spencers that would come down to her knees and she would be really persistent and annoying. The customers told me they paid her to go away, and somehow she was one of the top earners in that club. I never figured it out.



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    Senior Member Kat_onahot_tinroof's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why buy dances with girls you don't like?

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris
    This one just has me stumped! Every club I've worked at I have heard this from guys:
    "I don't really like her, but I promised I'd buy a dance from her."

    Or some variation on this line. Is this a cop out or am I just not being dominent enough?

    I watched a guy last night trow gobs of money at a dancer, who he said over and over again how much she "bugged" him, and that he tips her to make her go away. Ummmm... that is like feeding stray animals to make them go away.

    Why, oh, why would you spend money to have a crappy expirence at a strip club?

    I must be missing some vital piece of info here.
    Actually, he is trying to make you go away by feeding you a line of bull. This is a classic oldy among customers. It is there polite way of avoiding having to say that they are not interested in you. Men are always afraid of the repercussions in these clubs for speaking truthfully. Some just do the "passive aggressive" thing and this is your classic example.

    When you hear this from a customer it is your sign to move on, don't waste anymore time with him. Don't take it personally, he's already found somebody and just doesn't know how to tell you.
    "If anyone asks me, have I paid my dues in life... I tell em, why yes, and the checks in the mail.."!

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    Default Re: Why buy dances with girls you don't like?

    ^^^ Good call Kat!

    When that usually happens, I ask who and offer to go get the girl. I also tell them I'm not mad, and if they ever change their mind, they can find me and we can do a dance then. If not cool.
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    Default Re: Why buy dances with girls you don't like?

    That was my first thought, too; it's just a blowoff line. Though I'm sure that sometimes, like "Come back later," they actually mean it and did buy a pity dance. If I think that's the case I'll just say something like, "Well, when you're ready to enjoy yourself, I'll be around."

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why buy dances with girls you don't like?

    In the particular case I dealt with the other day, the guy was being downright mean in his comments about the other dancer.

    I was attempting to close the sale, and that was his response to me. His friend ended up buying a couple of dances from me, and this guy put himself in a bad place and was having a really crappy time dealing with this other dancer. His friend even told him that if he didn't like the dancer he should NOT tip her anymore.

    Yeah, I can tell when the customer is giving me a line. The whole "I promised someone else" bit. I do ask who and offer to go find her, and when he can't seem to remember not only her name, but anything about what she looks like either, I take it as a very complicated way of being turned down.

    CO, you sounded way to polite in the response to the girl at the bar. I've had guys tell me right to my face that thought I looked like a bitch, was too fat, that they hate fake boobs, that they hate tattoos, or whatever rude comment you can think of. Maybe even a comment like "get some dental work and then we can talk" would have her hightailing it to go bother someone else.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why buy dances with girls you don't like?

    CO, you sounded way to polite in the response to the girl at the bar.
    That's the thing, Paris; I shouldn't need to be a fucking misogynistic asshole to reject a dancer, because I'm not out to hurt anybody at an SC--I'm there for uncomplicated companionship with hot chicks (imagine that...). This girl's face looked like someone had beaten her with a porcupine soaked in iodine and her body resembled that of a 'before' photo for a gastric bypass advertisment. I actually felt bad for her--but I wasn't going to buy a dance (or let her FS me) out of pity. I wasn't about to say, "Look, you fat, fucking bitch, take your leprosy-riddled face somewhere else and leave me the fuck alone."

    Granted, the hustle at this club was something fierce, but I can handle it when the girls accept my gentle, polite rejection with some class and grace. There's no need under any circumstances for either custies or dancers to engage in harassment and cruelty, though admittedly, it's far more common among custies, particularly those that know they would never get the time of day let alone an offer of a dance from any halfway attractive woman outside the doors of an SC. I just have no space for that, myself. If I want a dancer to have my money, nothing except closing time or the occasional fucko will keep her from getting it. But if she even attempts to badger me, she'll never see a penny from me.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    Veteran Member calliope7's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why buy dances with girls you don't like?

    Quote Originally Posted by Casual Observer
    That's the thing, Paris; I shouldn't need to be a fucking misogynistic asshole to reject a dancer, because I'm not out to hurt anybody at an SC . . . I wasn't about to say, "Look, you fat, fucking bitch, take your leprosy-riddled face somewhere else and leave me the fuck alone."
    This is exactly why I haven't cultivated an aggresive hustle yet. I don't want to be that girl. And good for you CO for not resorting to saying anything nasty to make her go away. You shouldn't have to. It would seem that experienced dancers know when to push it and know when to let it go and exit gracefully. Or anyone with average social skills for that matter.

    From my own experience so far, though, I'd rather make a little less money than act like an annoying bitch.

    By the way, whats an FS? I've been playing around with potential word combinations and none of them are making much sense . . .

  17. #17
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Why buy dances with girls you don't like?

    FS = Full Service (sex)

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    Veteran Member calliope7's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why buy dances with girls you don't like?

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah
    FS = Full Service (sex)
    damn! thats a lot to offer for just a dance!

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    Default Re: Why buy dances with girls you don't like?

    CO, you naughty boy you...! GRIN
    "If anyone asks me, have I paid my dues in life... I tell em, why yes, and the checks in the mail.."!

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    Default Re: Why buy dances with girls you don't like?

    I've been told by many women I am simply to nice. I used to tip every girl on stage just because I felt it the right thing to do, whether I enjoyed the show or not. Unfortunately some girls took that to mean I had interest in more (understandably) but when told by me that i wasn't interested would either become verbally abusive, call me cheap, or not believe that I wasn't interested and remain hustling me in an overly agressive and disgusting manner, like offering me sex that I don't want. A dancer told me to stop being so nice, it just encourages then...kind of like pigeons.

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    Newbie TicklerBart's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why buy dances with girls you don't like?

    I have had this happen to me on many occasions . . .
    I would get hustled 1 minute after I just arrived there.
    I would tell them (Even the hottest one there) that I just got there & want to soak in the environment for a little while or that I was not ready for anything yet.
    Some of them are fine with it, but I have seen the "You fuckin' liar" face too.
    If an unattractive girl asks for a dance, I tell them, "No thanx."
    Usually they try to convince me. Sometimes I give in just to get it over with.
    If I refuse outright, then I have the fear that I will be labeled a pain in the ass cheap fuck. Then she will tell the other girls to stay away from me.
    You think that doesn't happen? Yes, it has happened to me a few times.
    I'm not there to insult anyone & I am definitely NOT there to be taken advantage of either.
    So. . . dilemma dilemma. What do you do?
    I try to be as nice & polite as possble. That's just my nature.
    I do my best to respect all the dancers, even the ones that are not attractive to me.
    Why do I sometimes give money to women I don't care for?
    They need the money more than the beautiful ones.
    I have this thing in my head that they (the ones that should NOT be dancers) can't make any money & are very very poor.
    Maybe it's true. Maybe not.
    Besides, what's one dance? 20 bucks? If I can spare it I will do it.
    But I will NEVER EVER have more than one dance with someone I didn't find attractive.
    We are all human & should be treated with utmost respect.
    Unless that person is being really obnoxious, then I lose respect for her.

    Sorry for the rambling.

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    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why buy dances with girls you don't like?

    Quote Originally Posted by TicklerBart

    [list]
    Sorry for the rambling.
    Thanks for your experiences. This is not unusual and it is not rambling either.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why buy dances with girls you don't like?

    Quote Originally Posted by TicklerBart
    Why do I sometimes give money to women I don't care for?
    They need the money more than the beautiful ones.
    I have this thing in my head that they (the ones that should NOT be dancers) can't make any money & are very very poor.
    Maybe it's true. Maybe not.
    Besides, what's one dance? 20 bucks? If I can spare it I will do it.
    But I will NEVER EVER have more than one dance with someone I didn't find attractive.
    And this is exactly why those dancers make at least as much as anyone else If half the guys who enter the club operate like that, and the ugly girl scores only one dance from each one, she's making as much or more than the hotties.

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    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Senior Member Kat_onahot_tinroof's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why buy dances with girls you don't like?

    Quote Originally Posted by TicklerBart
    I have had this happen to me on many occasions . . .
    I would get hustled 1 minute after I just arrived there.
    I would tell them (Even the hottest one there) that I just got there & want to soak in the environment for a little while or that I was not ready for anything yet.
    Some of them are fine with it, but I have seen the "You fuckin' liar" face too.
    If an unattractive girl asks for a dance, I tell them, "No thanx."
    Usually they try to convince me. Sometimes I give in just to get it over with.
    If I refuse outright, then I have the fear that I will be labeled a pain in the ass cheap fuck. Then she will tell the other girls to stay away from me.
    You think that doesn't happen? Yes, it has happened to me a few times.
    I'm not there to insult anyone & I am definitely NOT there to be taken advantage of either.
    So. . . dilemma dilemma. What do you do?
    I try to be as nice & polite as possble. That's just my nature.
    I do my best to respect all the dancers, even the ones that are not attractive to me.
    Why do I sometimes give money to women I don't care for?
    They need the money more than the beautiful ones.

    I have this thing in my head that they (the ones that should NOT be dancers) can't make any money & are very very poor.
    Maybe it's true. Maybe not.
    Besides, what's one dance? 20 bucks? If I can spare it I will do it.
    But I will NEVER EVER have more than one dance with someone I didn't find attractive.
    We are all human & should be treated with utmost respect.
    Unless that person is being really obnoxious, then I lose respect for her.

    Sorry for the rambling.
    Wow, Thanks for your stories and input here. I for one don't feel any customer should be treated with disrespect or shamed into a dance. My whole philosophy has been to give the customers the red carpet treatment with the hopes that they come back and that the club always has a full house. There is nothing worse than a club with more dancers than customers.

    On the flip side of things there were times when the clubs I worked at were slow I just wanted to sit and chat with a customer with no expectations whatsoever for a dance/ money or drinks. Just needed some time to blow till things picked up. But I would always make that very clear up front to them that very fact so they could feel at ease with me sitting and chatting.

    I did find there were the regulars who did not want dances at all they just simply came in to watch and have a couple of drinks till the traffic died down and left.

    I have always thought that if some of these clubs were smart they would pay the dancers a minimum wage or a (per stage) dance wage. In Houston it has gotten to the point the only way you can make a living is giving BJ's in back rooms and hustling drugs it seems (all of which are illegal activities and leaves the clubs open to being shut down).
    "If anyone asks me, have I paid my dues in life... I tell em, why yes, and the checks in the mail.."!

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    Default Re: Why buy dances with girls you don't like?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kat_onahot_tinroof
    .... I for one don't feel any customer should be treated with disrespect or shamed into a dance. My whole philosophy has been to give the customers the red carpet treatment with the hopes that they come back and that the club always has a full house. ....

    On the flip side of things there were times when the clubs I worked at were slow I just wanted to sit and chat with a customer ... I would always make that very clear up front to them that very fact so they could feel at ease with me sitting and chatting.

    I did find there were the regulars who did not want dances at all they just simply came in to watch and have a couple of drinks till the traffic died down and left.

    I have always thought that if some of these clubs were smart they would pay the dancers a minimum wage or a (per stage) dance wage. In Houston it has gotten to the point the only way you can make a living is giving BJ's in back rooms and hustling drugs it seems (all of which are illegal activities and leaves the clubs open to being shut down).
    Cat, I like your attitude. This is a good part of what I look for in a favorite dancer.

    However, I hope you soon find a good resolution for you regarding business in Houston.

    I believe clubs should offer two worker statuses - employment and IC status, maybe starting out as an IC with the ability to change after a month or so.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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