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Thread: Joke of the day.

  1. #1
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Joke of the day.

    Housewife takes a lover during the day, Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet.

    The boy now has company.

    Boy: "Dark in here."
    Man: "Yes it is."
    Boy: "I have a baseball."
    Man: "That's nice."
    Boy: "Want to buy it?"
    Man: "No thanks."
    Boy: "My dad's outside."
    Man: "OK, how much?"
    Boy: "$250."

    In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the
    mom's lover are in the closet together.

    Boy: "Dark in here."
    Man: "Yes, it is."
    Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
    Man: "How much?"
    Boy: "$750."
    Man: "Fine."

    A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your ball and glove. Let's go outside and play catch." The boy says, "I can't. I sold them." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"The son says, "$1,000." The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friend like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess." They go to church, the father alerts the priest, makes the boy
    sit in the confessional and closes the door.

    The boy says, "Dark in here."
    The priest says, "Don't start that shit again

  2. #2
    God/dess kitana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the day.

    OMFG!!!! I so love it!!!!!

    I love jokes like that
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Quote Originally Posted by ExoticEngineer View Post
    Feel like a damn salt lick at the goats petting zoo!
    <08SM>

  3. #3
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Joke of the day.

    LOL! That combined with the picture in your sig is enough to start my day off with a grin.

  4. #4
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the day.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah
    LOL! That combined with the picture in your sig is enough to start my day off with a grin.
    lol

  5. #5
    God/dess kitana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the day.

    No joke Yef, I love his little "kissy" faces!

    I can't tell half of the jokes I know since they are way too raunchy, and in such poor taste.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Quote Originally Posted by ExoticEngineer View Post
    Feel like a damn salt lick at the goats petting zoo!
    <08SM>

  6. #6
    Featured Member bikinigirl04's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the day.

    i love that picture! the kissy face is great. and you gotta love the outline of the cock in the red panties lol. oh and the joke was good too
    Oh, I musta took a wrong turn at Albuquerque.


    howdy ho, junior rangers.

  7. #7
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Joke of the day.

    Come on, Kitana, if you can't tell raunchy tasteless jokes HERE, where can you tell 'em?

  8. #8
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the day.

    Yes, Kitana. Do tell. I'm bored as hell at work. LOL

  9. #9
    God/dess kitana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the day.

    Ok, but I warned you!!!!

    What's wrong with fucking a 14yr old in the ass?


    Absolutly nothing!


    How do you make a 14 yr old cry twice?

    After you pull your bloody dick out of her, you wipe it on her fav teddy bear.

    Why do cavemen drag their women by the hair?

    They tried dragging them by their feet, but their pussies kept filling up with rocks.

    No more right now, I'm about to go eat then sleep, but I will probably delete the 1st two since they are so bad. But you guys did ask for it!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Quote Originally Posted by ExoticEngineer View Post
    Feel like a damn salt lick at the goats petting zoo!
    <08SM>

  10. #10
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the day.

    The caveman one...lol

  11. #11
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Joke of the day.

    I heard the teddy bear one, but with a four-year-old!

    Q. What's the great thing about three-year-olds?
    A. Your dick looks SO BIG in their tiny hands!

    And the most tasteless joke I've heard in awhile...

    Q. What's better than winning the Special Olympics?
    A. Not being fuckin' retarded.

  12. #12
    God/dess kitana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the day.

    What's the bad part about fucking a 5 yr old?

    Getting blood on your clown costume!

    What's the soft tissure between a sharks teeth?

    Slow swimmers!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Quote Originally Posted by ExoticEngineer View Post
    Feel like a damn salt lick at the goats petting zoo!
    <08SM>

  13. #13
    Banned Blade's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the day.

    What's the hardest part about eating vegetables?
    Swallowing the damn wheelchair
    How did Helen Keller discover masterbation?
    Reading her own lips

  14. #14
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the day.

    so wrong but funny.

  15. #15
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Joke of the day.

    Q. How did Helen Keller's parents punish her when she was bad?
    A. They left the plunger in the toilet.

  16. #16
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the day.

    Q: How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?


    A: Pick him up and suck his dick

  17. #17
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Joke of the day.

    That one actually made me choke on my water!!

  18. #18
    Banned Blade's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the day.

    Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
    A: Nothing. They've never met.

    Q: What do you call it when a blonde dyes their hair brunette?
    A: Artificial intelligence.

    Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, a smart blonde, and a stripper are walking down the street when they spot a $100 on the ground. Who gets it?
    Nobody. The first four don't exist and the stripper thought it was a gum wrapper.


    Q. What has 128 legs and only 14 teeth?

    A. The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.

  19. #19
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Joke of the day.

    Quote Originally Posted by Blade
    Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, a smart blonde, and a stripper are walking down the street when they spot a $100 on the ground. Who gets it?
    Nobody. The first four don't exist and the stripper thought it was a gum wrapper.
    Ahem. If ANYONE can recognize a $100 bill, it is a stripper!

    Loved the rest of them though.

  20. #20
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    Default Re: Joke of the day.

    why do german shower heads have 11 holes?
    because jews have 10 fingers

    Kevin, Jake, and Jimmy are all sitting next to the stage at a local strip club, when the sexiest girl they have ever seen makes her way onto the stage. Kevin, wanting to impress his friends, takes a fifty dollar bill out of his wallet and waves it at the young dancer. She approaches him and shakes her ass in his face. He obliges by licking the fifty dollar bill and sticking it to her left ass cheek!
    Jake, not wanting to be out-done by his friend, pulls a hundred dollar bill out of his wallet and waves it at the young lady. She dances over, waves her ass in his face, to which he licks the hundred dolar bill and sticks it to her right butt cheek.
    Now, this sexy little lady is dancing around with a hundred and fifty dollars stuck to her butt cheeks.
    Jimmy doesn't have any cash left on him, so he pulls out his credit card and waves it at the hot entertainer. She makes her way over to him. She bends over and puts her cute little behind inches from his face. He stands up and promptly runs the credit card down the crack of her ass, grabs that fifty and the hundred, and walks out the door!!!

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