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Thread: Why lead us on?

  1. #26
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    Default Re: Why lead us on?

    Quote Originally Posted by Deogol
    I second this. Know when you don't know the rules.
    OK. what are the rules? you're not suppose to go with someone to a restaraunt or give out phone number?

  2. #27
    Featured Member lunchbox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why lead us on?

    Story #2 would have worked out much better if she was familiar with the dating "lemon law."

  3. #28
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    Default Re: Why lead us on?

    Quote Originally Posted by greenidlady1
    I never make promises of meeting anyone outside the club unless I plan on doing it eventually. I don't, however, go out with people I don't know. And if I do go eat lunch, etc., I do it to keep their business not because I want a relationship or sex because I am already married.
    This seems an untenable position to me. Men will assume that "out of the club" means they are making some kind of progress. I can't believe you don't know this already, green.

    But maybe you're being honest. In that case, you heard it here first: Meeting customers outside the club will, ultimately, result in a showdown. You'll have to decide to escort or, more likely, loose a customer.

    Maybe this is why a woman I know who now escorts has such a massively negative view of dancers. She says, "They hustle a never-fulfilled promise, whereas I deliver a service." I don't agree with her in this. But I can see her point.

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    Default Re: Why lead us on?

    IMO, it is not preordained that meeting customers outside the club for occasional drinks or lunch or whatever will result in either sex or an ugly confrontation. It depends on the dancer and customer involved and what their expectations are. And to say that doing so will automatically cause a stripper to have to make the decision of "do I dance or do I escort" seems a little...well, a lot... far fetched to me.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

  5. #30
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: Why lead us on?

    Fine. We agree to disagree.

  6. #31
    Member babydolly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why lead us on?

    My ploy at work is brutally honest and you will probably all scream !
    when i chat to a customer I am mean and say look dude you are never gonna phukk me, neva gonna date me so buy a dance coz thats the closest to me You will ever get...They laugh and spend!!
    All this coming from the shortest,plumpest and not the prettiest dancer in the pub,,,however i am in general the busiest and highest paid.
    sometimes ,maybe , downright TRUTH will get a laugh and sell a few shows!

  7. #32
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: Why lead us on?

    As they say in the UK: Brilliant!

  8. #33
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    Default Re: Why lead us on?

    Strippers lead us on?

    But i thought they were entirely trustworthy women who would never stretch the truth a hair!


    Who knew!
    --------------------------------------

    All kidding aside. Strippers do not lead me on. No, not because i am some dynamo Casanova-Don Juan d00d, but because i get the gist of the situation. It's hard sometimes, you WANT to buy the fantasy but if you do it's just a pain in the ass for both parties involved. I can not be "led on" if i do not allow myself to be led on. I am 32, not 14.

    First off, she's got a signifigant other. Period. 99% of chicks like that just plain don't come unattached (and 99% of statistics like that are made up on the spot).

    Second, Chances are she's working, and you're lame. Even if you aren't lame, you are lame in a strip club. Oooooh, the goofy look guys get on their faces when a dancer is in paying attention to them while she's onstage is just... goofy. Goofy isn't sexy... not sexy usually = no dice... You could be Brad Pitts stunt double and all it takes is that dumb assed smile guys get with a pussy in their face and you suddenly become lame... This smile is universal, though it hits some guys more severely than others...

    Third, get a grip. Why are you looking to be led anywhere in a strip club? One thing i like about strip clubs is that i can be a GUY and i don't get hassled by chicks for doing it. I can oogle all i want, look at T&A and no one bothers me. It's a GOOD thing to stare at some chick's tits in a strip club! Maybe not so good to talk to those tits (and face it, sometimes we guys all do that number), the Jury's still out on that one, but you get to just be a GUY and look at some eye candy and it's all good.






    Don't be led on and you won't be led on. No one can lead you to anywhere you don't want to go. Backbone... It's a wonder to behold.

  9. #34
    Veteran Member laplover69's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why lead us on?

    Never fall in love with a Stripper

    Part 1-The Encounter

    Never fall in love with a stripper son, she's sure to break your
    heart.
    You'll end up in a coiled web and soon be torn apart.
    Her beauty is amazing, her soul it shines intense, her body is a work
    of art from which there's no defense.

    She'll captivate you with desire; you'll lose your way it seems,
    Her pleasantries engulf your thoughts and permeate your dreams.
    Imagination running wild, each step she closer moves,
    Her eyes enchanting meet yours in fire; she closes on your grove.

    The sensuality extreme, the eros so sublime
    She welcomes you into her world, a fantasy in time.
    She'll placate all your questions, advise you in return,
    "You are the only one for her", your passion starts to burn.

    Enveloped by her glory, enchantedly demure,
    Anticipation takes control and spins a deadly lure.
    The club is closing quickly you realize your fate,
    You better make your move real quick; it's getting much too late.

    You've spent eight hundred dollars, perhaps a little more,
    You need two questions answered before you close the door.
    What is your real name my dear, and what pray tell your number?
    You wait for her polite reply while stifling your "hunger."

    "My real name is Vicki*, my number is right here,
    I'd love to see you real soon, from me there's none to fear"
    "I'll call you in a short time", I state in timid voice,
    "I'll take you out to dinner, and you can make the choice."

    Part 2

    Ouch

    Lunches, dinners, shopping, and times spent tenderly,
    You really feel you love this girl; she fills your heart with glee.
    You've never met a gem like this; you'll never so again,
    She's nice, she's warm, she's confident and soon you wonder when?

    When will her lips and yours first meet, when will the dream unfold?
    When will your bodies meet entwined suffice ecstatic goal?
    You need to know, you need to ask, the fever is unkempt,
    "Do I mean anything to her or should I now repent?"

    And so with courage, truth and hope you pose the query thus,
    Do I mean anything to you and what is all this fuss?
    "Do you mean anything to me? She whispers in you ear"?
    Of course you do you silly boy why else would I be here?

    "I now can pay my car loan, my boyfriend's Visa card,
    I never need go to a store, not even out my yard."
    "You're such a nice and humble guy; you've given me so much,
    And all I ever had to give was skin for you to touch.

    "I thought you knew this business, I thought you knew the game,
    There is nothing of real in this it all is very plain."
    "You mean the world to me kind man; it's ALL by my design,
    I thank you very much my dear, my little dollar sign!"

    Part 3

    Epilogue

    I still recall our moments, illusions manifold,
    and how I let my honest heart refuse to be so cold.
    I thought she really liked me, perhaps a hint of love,
    I used to think she's heaven sent, an angel from above.

    Reality is stark my friend, and sometimes hard to find.
    But one thing that I've learned from this, sweet strippers make us
    blind.
    So take my words to heart; Believe! And stop a sec to think,
    Is what you feel, the real thing, or brought on by 6 drinks.

    Have fun, enjoy, partake of life, be in control of you
    And never let a stripper in, because they are like glue.
    Never fall in love with a stripper son, she'll always break your heart
    You'll always be her ATM at whom she'll aim her dart!

  10. #35
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    Default Re: Why lead us on?

    I often have the same question as the originator of this thread. I think I probably have 10-15 numbers in my cell phone right now from different strippers. I dont know why. Most of them took the phone and entered their number. I didn't ask. Most of them have also taken my number - or they program their number and call their phone so they can get it that way. Hell I live in Atlanta and one of them is from some girl at a club in Dallas I was visiting. I don't call them. Like a thousand people on here have already said - its a fantasy. I go to a strip club and find someone I like and then I compensate her for her time. If I think she is really hot and I like her I will usually hang out with her if I go back there. I dont call her and I dont expect her to call me. So why do so many of them give their number? I am sure they arent really interested. And its not like I am going to start calling and scheduling strip club visits in advance :-) Usually I just go on the spur of the moment.

    I guess thinking back on it I have met a few girls outside of the club for dinner and stuff like that. But that was as far as it went - Well except for a couple of occasions. There was this one girl who would call me to "hang out" and then blow me off when I showed up. That worked twice. So really, why give out the number if you are not interested? And if you are interested why not just say so?

  11. #36
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why lead us on?

    Duh! How many times does it have to be repeated.....its all about scouting for potential repeat business. Have you never been in a bar drinking with your buddies, take a girls phone number who is perhaps average, then decide not to call her the next day because you were caught "in the moment"? Or perhaps you do call, see if you have a chance to score some second string pussy if need be? Are the numbers in your cell burning a hole in your pocket or something? Its just a number, quit yer bitchin!

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

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  12. #37
    Featured Member Juliette_deSade's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why lead us on?

    We ought not ne so hard on the guy. I think he just wants some perspective from women like the one he is dealing with. The reactions he was given made his ordeals no small wonder----if we all treated men, especially customers, the way we have "advised" him to read our behaviour he would see how hard it is for us to accept being pursued and pursuing someone who seems like a totally normal guy.

    My friend, that brings me to answer your question. You might have just been dealing with the fickle woman. "Fickle" is not exclusive to strippers. Many people in this business can dismiss a man because at work we are taught to seek the bigger better deal. This sometimes carries over in normal life, especially if we have just been at work. The transition is not instantanious from work to real life. Thus, I say that it
    is probably better luck for you if you meeet a beautiful woman far removed from the club. If she is nice and receptive to you, you'll have better luck if she is a stripper. Because the nature of the job, be a little careful-we are largely elusive and distance ourselves (at first) to people with whom we are beginning to gain trust. Depending on the dynamics of the club, she might be distrustful that you will accept her as she is. Many girls in Houston grit their teeth through the night because touching is allowed. Some women feel bad about things like this: guilt issues, distrust, etcetera. So even if we like a guy we have to feel like going into hiding.

    It takes two to tango. It isn't all you, man.
    The Texas Pin-up Stripteuse!

  13. #38
    Rbcaul
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    Default Re: Why lead us on?

    "We ought not ne so hard on the guy. I think he just wants some perspective from women like the one he is dealing with. "


    I too feel some replies here to the original question have been a bit harsh. I found his question to be polite & inquisitive. He wasnt 'chasing' these women or really wanting anything to happen with them. He just ended up hanging out with them and the girls behaviour must have seemed a bit odd, really.

  14. #39
    Featured Member The_Oceans's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why lead us on?

    When I hit it off with a dancer I will usually ask if she'd be willing to exchange contact info (usually a cell # or email address) so I can let her know when I'll be in her town again. The expectation is always that the contact info is for professional purposes only.

    Most of the time we will exchange chatty emails or voicemails or have short conversations anyway. I just don't think any of this is "leading on" unless the dancer gives off some expectation that in-person, OTC interaction is possible.
    "Women, not girls, rule my world" - Prince

    "No parking on the dance floor" - Midnight Star

  15. #40
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    Default Re: Why lead us on?

    Quote Originally Posted by The_Oceans
    When I hit it off with a dancer I will usually ask if she'd be willing to exchange contact info (usually a cell # or email address) so I can let her know when I'll be in her town again. The expectation is always that the contact info is for professional purposes only.

    Most of the time we will exchange chatty emails or voicemails or have short conversations anyway. I just don't think any of this is "leading on" unless the dancer gives off some expectation that in-person, OTC interaction is possible.
    Did you read this thread or just the title? your reply does not seem to be in any way related to what the original poster said or asked.

  16. #41
    Featured Member The_Oceans's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why lead us on?

    Sorry, dlabtot. In my head I thought I was on topic, or at least as much so as jake99's.

    If it'll make it clearer - I agree with what Katrine says - if a dancer wants to give me her number or asks for mine, she'll predominantly want it for the purpose of gauging me for future business. My point was that I understand that and will exchange information on that basis.

    If the contact becomes more personable (ie. chatty stuff, or making plans outside the club), then I would say it's leading on if one party or the other fails to live up to those altered expectations. In the case of the OP, both times he was led on.

    That said, one cannot be led astray without first being led. If he recognized a game was being played on him, he could've cut bait (not giving the first girl his number, or not going to the after-hours club with the second girl).
    "Women, not girls, rule my world" - Prince

    "No parking on the dance floor" - Midnight Star

  17. #42
    Veteran Member Eques's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why lead us on?

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine
    Duh! How many times does it have to be repeated.....its all about scouting for potential repeat business. Have you never been in a bar drinking with your buddies, take a girls phone number who is perhaps average, then decide not to call her the next day because you were caught "in the moment"? Or perhaps you do call, see if you have a chance to score some second string pussy if need be?
    No, I try not to be cruel or give false hopes. I ask for numbers very rarely and tend to pursue those numbers that I do get because I have that intention when requesting it. But that has to do only with the world of dating. Stripclubs are different places entirely and the rules are entirely different. Numbers given and taken in stripclubs are figments of the imagination and I try not enguage in that game in the club.
    Never stand begging for that which you have the power to earn.

    The truth lies in a man's dreams... perhaps in this unhappy world of ours whose madness is better than a foolish sanity.

    Miguel de Cervantes (1547 - 1616)

  18. #43
    Veteran Member infra-red's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why lead us on?

    If you've got a 996, why take a cab, don't you want to show her your car?
    Devilution Imaging!

    "Sexy...sexy as hell"

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    Default Re: Why lead us on?

    Nice nuanced answer. A question I have is to what extent, if any, do dancers ever develop any emotional attachment to customers? Even though I know it's a job, I'd hate to be so detached as to assume that every interaction was solely based on money and miss other cues that there was anything more than that. I've always kept an emotional distance from strippers but I wonder how this affects them. It seems that this could result in emotional blunting to both parties over time.

  20. #45
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    Default Re: Why lead us on?

    Well, I prefer to treat it as a friendly business relationship. If a dancer sends off a hardcore "strictly business" vibe (rare) I won't be spending much time or money on her. I think it's possible to be a friendly but realistic customer. As far as any hint that a dancer might be interested in you. Let them take the lead, it's always worked for me. Dancers aren't shy about letting you know what's on their minds.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
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    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

  21. #46
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    Default Re: Why lead us on?

    Quote Originally Posted by bikinigirl04
    maybe she meant it when she asked but changed her mind and flaked.
    Ditto, might have been drunk or high at the time, or just plain bored. Thought better of it later & didn't seem like such a good idea.
    Guilty.

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