i think if I cancel my holiday bookings though I will be fired. i work at pretty much the best $$ club in NJ, at least in my area, and right now I just dont even care if I get fired. Is this terrible? I know in one month I will be so pissed at myself, esp bc for the next month will be the best money all year but I just can't do it right now. I can't make myself fake smile and show my everything for a fucking dollar. I am also getting too caught up in the money. I have a lot saved for a barely 21 year old girl, but I'm fucking 21, I shouldnt really be stressed out to the point where I can't eat over things like buying a house, when I'm not even graduated from school.
Most people my age are broke and not even worrying about paying the $20,000 they will owe in loans next year, but Im worrying that Im not making enough, and then when i dont work I am falling behind. I am falling behind in school too, I should be graduating in May but now it's pushed back to July if that.
What mostly stresses me out is all my fucking regulars. I can't even call out or not show up because not only will I get fined and have the management pissed off my regulars will take it as personal insult to them. I don't want to hurt them either but all of this stuff needs to stop invading my personal life when I'm not at the club. I think that's why I need to stop right now, because my priorities aren't straight. Money shouldn't be my first priority and it is. It doesn't make me happy, but I think once I buy a house and settle down that it will. but i'm a fucking kid i don't need that.
any advice/comments/anyone relate to this?



Reply With Quote


Bookmarks