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Thread: I think my boyfriend is lying...

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    Member Scorpia's Avatar
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    Default I think my boyfriend is lying...

    My boyfriend tells me all the time that he thinks I should go ahead and become a dancer. I asked him if he was sure that he would be okay with it? He said it would be fine just along as I dont come back telling him any crazy stories and he says he would never be able to come see me dance. He is absolutely obsessed with the way of stippers, the clothes and the dancing and all that. Once he told me he could never date a stripper and for the simple fact that he said he would never be able to come watch me dance makes me feel like he would have a problem with it. What do you think?

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    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think my boyfriend is lying...

    Um.... before i started dancing, my boyfriend at the time said "I can't wait until you start dancing" and told me that if it was what i wanted then he wouldn't stop me, etc etc. He said all the right stuff.

    However, when I actually went to audition, he freaked. It's like he was fine until the 11th hour. Then... the shock hit. Oh my gosh... she's actually gonna do it... which means i'm actually gonna have to deal with it.

    Sounds like he might freak.

    f&#*ing men!!

    Follow your gut instinct, girl. Sounds like you already know what will happen with him.
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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think my boyfriend is lying...

    I agree.

    My initial stance on this is involved solely based on personal feeling.

    When a guy starts to treat a dancer different than any other woman, then he's looking at you as just that. Someone different. This very rarely is positive. Its like going to jail, it will forever stick in the back of their mind.

    The true issue here is when he looks at you as something different. Its normally a courteous thing at start 'Does she expect more from me because she is a stripper? Does she expect less? She's making more,' But the biggest question is:

    'How does she see me differently than any other guy in the club'

    Normally for most, in my opinion, immature people, the problem is in sex. If your sexuality decreases due to using it all day he's going to look to himself as the cause but blame stripperdom for bring it to light, don't worry if your sexuality increases he'll do the same thing.

    The key point is to acknowledge this job as no different than High-Powered Sales Position.

    I enjoy dancers company and time not because of their jobs but the incredibly open mind these people seem to have or are aquiring. Its almost intoxicating. But at the bottom line, they are still a lady and like to be treated with the same respect a lady gets....or..for some.... none at all

    Can your man handle the thought that for the 4-8 hours your are gone your potentially being shown penis, being asked out continuously, getting offered money to be seen naked, getting offered more money for services above and beyond the call of duty, spending hours on end with one man in the confines of a small room, or even, gaining a regular who comes in to see you and only you for months to a year? Or the worst, what happens when you get a REALLY CUTE CUSTOMER, you really enjoyed him, you where smitten for a moment, and you just want to talk about it. Can you open up to him and he be mature about it? Or will stripping be a wall between you and communicating your feelings to the one you like the most?

    There is always stripperweb.com

    If the answer to that is no, then...well, he's going to freak.

    In my lifestyle its best to offer people you know and care about a level of trust, and irregardless of presence supply them that trust without question until you have a reason to have it refuted. A solid reason. If you cannot handle the realities of the job you shouldn't involve yourself with one of the workers.

    I fear this guy will freak.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think my boyfriend is lying...

    Sounds like he doesn't know what he wants... he's obsessed with strippers, he wouldn't date a stripper, he wants you to dance, but thinks he shouldn't see you do it.... good luck.

  5. #5
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: I think my boyfriend is lying...

    Sounds like he won't see you as you once you start. You'll be his Stripper Girl, not Scorpia.

    I wouldn't be with a guy who saw anything but Kimberly when he looked at me. Stripping is just one of the many many ingredients, not the whole cake. You should settle for no less.

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    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think my boyfriend is lying...

    how about this...you do what you think is best for you, and don't worry about what your boyfriend thinks. If he has an issue with it, and its important to you, then you shouldn't be together.

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    God/dess kitana's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think my boyfriend is lying...

    Quote Originally Posted by Scorpia
    .... and he says he would never be able to come see me dance. . Once he told me he could never date a stripper and for the simple fact that he said he would never be able to come watch me dance makes me feel like he would have a problem with it. What do you think?
    Hmm, I think you just answered your own question right there.

    As for watching you dance, that's not the part he would have a problem with. The problem he will have is watching you writhe your body on other men, doing dances, kissing other guys cheeks, holding hands with them, etc....

    The actual stage show dance part, phooey! He wouldn't care about that part.

    Sounds like if you are really wanting to do this and make it a long term business decision, is to confront him about his insecurities, and then go from there. If he would NEVER have a "stripper" as a gf, then he would have you as a gf right?

    You need a guy like Luke (hubby). He loves to watch me dance, lol.

    He says:

    "You are made for your job, it's like watching a play, or an opera, true poetry in motion. Your body goes from one pose and motion to another with grace and fluid precision. You are art in motion when you dance."

    As well as watching me with the other parts of work that are not stage related, lol.

    "I love to watch you work dear, You are like a jungle cat quietly prowling, and carefully stalking it's prey. When you do get your intended victim, you pounce and they never know what hit them; until the end of the month and they have a 2 grand CC bill and didn't expect it."

    The first time he saw me dance, he couldn't believe it. He told me, "I can't believe I would have ever been as lucky as I am that I have you."

    I said all of that to give you an idea of the kind of guy you need to be able to do this job. (IMO, anyway) If you don't think your bf would ever be like that, then something's gotta give. And that would be either your dream of dancing or him.

    If you choose to dance then try to find a guy like mine, lol. He's never jealous, he loves what I do, and he will support me no matter what.

    *(Yeah I'm all mushy, his b-day is soon, and he's being extra sweet, lol. He doesn't even know I've alreaay got him a present, lol.)
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    Member Scorpia's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think my boyfriend is lying...

    Quote Originally Posted by dlabtot
    Sounds like he doesn't know what he wants... he's obsessed with strippers, he wouldn't date a stripper, he wants you to dance, but thinks he shouldn't see you do it.... good luck.
    I know! He always sounds like he doesnt know what he wants. I have a feeling that as soon as I start dancing, enventually we will end up breaking up. It hurts to say it but I do believe that. He is really confused about relationship. I love him so much and he is so sweet but how much confusion can you deal with?

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think my boyfriend is lying...

    Quote Originally Posted by Scorpia
    I love him so much and he is so sweet but how much confusion can you deal with?
    Actually, its not too confusing.

    its simple, if the love is strong and he supports you, then you both should be able to have a mature conversation with eachother where you tell him what may or may not ocme up while dancing to get a forshadowing of what may happen. Don't listen to what he's saying, listen to what he's TELLING you. Make sure he knows your limits and what you will and will not be doing in the club and how much you need his trust in this, not only his love, because its gonna get tested the most in the beginning.

    If the love isn't mutual, or not enough, then yea it could be confusing to decide between what you want and whats best for you both. But if the love is strong, then trying this out till you know for sure he can handle it, if he can't no one is gonna force you to keep dancing.

    Do yourself a favor. Discuss this now before you're forced to discuss it cause he hates your work stories about the guy who came in his pants 2 mins into his first dance...


    --Mast Out
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess
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    Default Re: I think my boyfriend is lying...

    Talk with him some more it sounds like for the most part you have a good relationship and with good relationships comes lots of work (#1communication) . People seem to give up and in so quickly these days keep talking you are both young you will change your stance on many issues throughout your life .

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