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Thread: Black Girl Blues, a rant

  1. #1
    God/dess JustJayda's Avatar
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    Default Black Girl Blues, a rant

    Okay, I'm venting. If I say something offensive, I'll take my lumps
    So, I'm down in MIA., I went to "The Club" today to apply. I had called yesterday about an audition, and the guy said they don't have auditions, and they are always hiring. He told me to come in, and if they like what they see, I'm in!

    Cool, I don't wanna audition in front of a bunch of staring bitches anyway (yes, I know I call women bitches alot, sorry ladies, i'm working on it).

    So I get to Tootsie's, uhh, I mean "The Club", and my shit is TIIGGGHHHTTT. I have on my $330 Allen B. jeweled jeans, the perfect top and belt, and these bad ass Choo's, not to mention the perfect weave, nails/toes, lettuce-less teeth etc. So, the wonderfully scented me, talks to the doorman, as he talks to my breasts. Everything was going perfectly.

    BAM, SHIT, MOTHER-PHUCKER!! The Dade County 1st place winner of the Chicken-head of the Century regional competition walks in.

    Phuck me!!!!I'm thinking. This trollop is about to ruin it for me. Now, I'm reasoning inside my head, the doorman knows I'm not with her, he'll make sure the manager knows that b4 he brings him out here to see us. Then Ms. Chicken-Head Universe, in her Chinese sequined mesh slide-ins( ya'll from the hood know what I am talking about), her red, yellow, and green Roc-A-Wear Purse, and her "golded-out" grill (that's a mouth full of gold teeth yall) exclaims in falsetto "Dayyyuummmm, this club is nice!!!, yall be gettin ballers up in here I bet, yep sho' nuff"

    I hoped the earth would open up and swallow me, or even better, the "White Fairy" would come down and paint my Black ass White...IMMEDIATELY. No such luck!!

    So, the manager comes out, after this girl has almost killed me, by attempting to talk me to death. I'm sure this trick saw me as her way "in". I knew it was curtains, for me and "BoomLaQueisha" before he even spoke.

    He gave me the whole story about the new club opening next week, and that they'd been hiring girls nonstop for the last 3 weeks, so to come back after New Year's. I couldn't help but feel like this guy had a woody for me though.

    Thankfully, I was polite when I received my rejection. Ten minutes after I pulled out of the parking lot, my cell rings, and he told me to come back, I was hired. He had waited to see the other girl pull-out of the parking lot, b4 calling me.

    Seems that she stayed after I left, trying to convince him to hire her. Anyway, he did admit that he thought we were together etc., and we kinda laughed about it. Crazy thing is, I almost never put my real phone number down on an application to dance. I haven't filled out many, but have had my number get into the wrong hands b4. Thank goodness, I actually listed my real cell# this time.

    Okay, I just had to share, thanks for reading. Has anything like this ever happened to anyone else?
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    The end.

  2. #2
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: Black Girl Blues, a rant

    Hasnt happened to me but I thoroughly loved how you portrayed "BoomLaQueisha" .... rofl

  3. #3
    mermaidnz
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    Default Re: Black Girl Blues, a rant

    wow..lol. least the manager had the courtesy to call you back

    good luck in the new club!!

  4. #4
    God/dess
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    Default Re: Black Girl Blues, a rant

    LMAO!!! some parts of that post had me cracking up.

    Anyhoo hun it worked out for you in the end so it was cbviously mean't to be. Congrats sista and good luck in your new club.

    Seraya.


  5. #5
    Featured Member Crystal_eyes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Black Girl Blues, a rant

    U are so funny !!!!

  6. #6
    God/dess blondhottie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Black Girl Blues, a rant

    LaQueisha! LOL, too funny!

    Congratulations and good luck in your new club-it's a good thing the manager didn't think you were friends with the ghetto-acting girl and turn both of you down! Which is why it's always a good idea for girls of any race to go to a club alone when you want to get hired. I know you went there alone-you just happened to have the bad luck of having LaQueisha walk in after you. But it all worked out for the best!

  7. #7
    smartcookie
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    Default Re: Black Girl Blues, a rant

    Great story. Congrats on getting hired!

  8. #8
    God/dess velvet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Black Girl Blues, a rant

    omg girl that was the funniest post EVER.
    if you are anything like that in person you will do WELL. congrats on getting hired even if it was in a wierd way. who cares you are in.
    tooties is the best club down south from what i understand.
    brush it off and get that money!!!

    big smiles

  9. #9
    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: Black Girl Blues, a rant

    Great story, had all teh good parts.. beginning, middle, climatic ending.. This HAS to be the club for you!
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



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    Banned Blade's Avatar
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    Default Re: Black Girl Blues, a rant

    Normally I avoid reading posts were colour is mentioned, cuz I know my dumb redneck ass will post some stupid shit and cause a ruckus....
    Man I'm glad I read this one! First, congrats on the new club!
    Second, hahahhahahaha, holy shit that was exactly what i needed this mornin,ty!

  11. #11
    goldengrl69
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    Default Re: Black Girl Blues, a rant

    girl , that was soooooooo funny!

  12. #12
    Senior Member GuyPOV's Avatar
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    Default Re: Black Girl Blues, a rant

    JustJayda,

    If you think about it. That kinda shows the type of people they keep around there. He was professional enough to turn both of you away so ghettofied wouldn't get crunk up in there. But he also knew you would make a good fit and call you on the downlow. I was in WPB for a while but never went inside that place. Maybe next time I get a chance I will go inside. It seems like they have a dancer code of conduct.

  13. #13
    Featured Member LilSweetVixen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Black Girl Blues, a rant

    Quote Originally Posted by JustJayda
    Then Ms. Chicken-Head Universe, in her Chinese sequined mesh slide-ins
    hell no. She rolled up in a club with some $4 screen doors on her feet?

    Quote Originally Posted by JustJayda
    He had waited to see the other girl pull-out of the parking lot, b4 calling me.
    ohhhh. So he didn't hire you on the spot because he didn't want her to feel bad? So he could say it was just too full?

    Quote Originally Posted by JustJayda
    Crazy thing is, I almost never put my real phone number down on an application to dance.
    That is REAL crazy because sometimes I don't either. Wow. So it was the Green Fairy lookin after you.

    "You have demonic genius" -Naomi Wolf
    "I very much resent it when people - maybe with good intentions or from a progressive point of view - keep telling me, 'It's their culture' ... It's like saying the culture of Massachusetts is burning witches." -Azar Nafisi


  14. #14
    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: Black Girl Blues, a rant

    I knoooow what you mean. I've seen that movie personally . It could be worse. He could have assumed she was your fugly little sister and felt too bad to separate you . Be glad today's Southern Man is getting wiser. Congrats and show 'em what you're workin' with, girl!

  15. #15
    Featured Member hannah83's Avatar
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    Default Re: Black Girl Blues, a rant

    ahahahahahaha that was the best post i've read in a long time! your description of her and her reaction to the club was priceless! Congrats on the new club and thanks sooo much for making me laugh
    There's a wild side behind every innocent face.

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  16. #16
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Black Girl Blues, a rant

    Girl, if that's how you always tell a story, maybe you've missed your calling. I would pay to see you doing stand-up.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  17. #17
    Member DutchezzBlayzze's Avatar
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    Default Re: Black Girl Blues, a rant

    Damn Girl BoomLaQuiesha Tried to muscle in on your opportunity and had the nerve to show up wearing some dollar slippers from the swapmeet too. I'm happy you got the job even when miss ghetto fab showed up. Good luck & make that money!!

  18. #18
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    Default Re: Black Girl Blues, a rant

    Did you consider leaving and coming back later when she came in? Maybe go back another time to apply.

    Clubs only want to hire a select few of "us" anyway, right?

  19. #19
    God/dess velvet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Black Girl Blues, a rant

    she got hired tina. they called her back.

  20. #20
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Black Girl Blues, a rant

    I imagine most managers would'nt have been able to decipher they weren't together, and just dismissed them both. Good thing this guy was paying attention

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  21. #21
    Member secondtimearound's Avatar
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    Default Re: Black Girl Blues, a rant

    I don't have a story that funny but I remember when I went to try to get hired at Treasures a couple of years ago and I was waiting for a manager, a less "polished" Black chick came in right after me. i was hoping that they wouldn't think we were together. I didn't want my chance blown, as I know they don't like hiring black girls in pairs, if at all. I am glad the manager called you afterwards. He did handle that very well.

  22. #22
    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Black Girl Blues, a rant

    LMAO. this is gold!

    especially: 'dollar slippers from the swapmeet'.

  23. #23
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    Default Re: Black Girl Blues, a rant

    Ghetto FAB!

    lmao

    Lord, that made me laugh.

    I know exactly how you feel. Simply because a few crazy black people exist it seems a lot of us get slapped with the "Ghetto" tag before we even open our mouths. (Simply based on being black.)

  24. #24
    Featured Member lizlizliz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Black Girl Blues, a rant

    i love anyone that uses the word trollop.

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