Ok. My mom and I have a weird relationship- whatever, my family is unusual (who's isn't, right?). I don't live at home, but I 'visit' often because 'home' is 30min away...she always wants to take me out for supper or do my laundry or whatever. (I'm 20 btw). So, I think she knows I strip for the following reasons:
a) Pretty sure she's seen my S-factor book. I know she's seen my costumes because I took some laundry over to her house (to do myself), and she just did them herself. She held up a hot pink lycra thong and said "what's this?". "Underwear" is all I said.
b) When visiting, I think I've left this site up on the monitor of my laptop a couple times and mighta forgot that she likes to use the laptop for solitaire (she's a snoop, but 'privacy' does not exist with my family).
but the smoking gun: c) At Red Lobster with mom and bro...bro (whose 15) said "hey, what's that site you were looking at...stripperweb?"
I realized I forgot to wipe the history. I had no reply at all..."uhm, it's for my friend". Beyond lame. My mom "So is this how you're paying for that new apartment?! Lapdancing? This is why you don't want us to see you at work!" (told them I waitress at a gay club...cuz I know I can convince them not to go there). Now, she said it while laughing non-stop...we were all laughing, rather uncomfortably. I responded 'jokingly' as well "That's it, you got me."
Yeah, she knows, doesn't she? I know I am being 100% indiscreet about the 'secret', but I hate lying to my parents. My dad has girlfriends (whom he has made out with IN FRONT of me), and now lives almost exclusively in another city (ostensibly for his job), but they act like they're totally married and fine when they happen to be together. Anyway, the denial my mother is capable of astounds me, and this is just an example. But she's fairly liberally minded in many ways too, so her finding out I dance would not end the world, though she'd hardly approve.
So now, whenever we're discussing my waitressing job, I feel like such an idiot. We both know the truth, but she just acts as if nothing happened. Since that night at the restaurant, nothing has changed, but strangely she's been nicer to me now than ever before (could also be because I've lost 20llbs in three months from IBS and she thinks I'm dying or something). I want to just confront the situation! Put it out there! But this is impossible, since my whole familial life has been one big 'let's ignore the elephant in the room' situation.
What should I do? Am I right to assume she knows?



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) But she is so insane she probably thinks I am a drug dealer.


~ my very own pole dancer!
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