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Thread: 'Twas the night before Christmas...

  1. #1
    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    'Twas the night before Christmas...

    I came up with this little parody in just a couple of hours, so bear with me if its a little crass (or just plain sucks), but hopefully some of you get a kick out of it...

    And a Merry Christmas to you all,

    'Twas the night before Christmas, at the club where gals strip,
    The bums wouldn't buy dances, not even a tip;

    Their garters were hung on their thighs with care,
    In hopes that dead pre$ident$ soon would be there;

    The ladies were dolled up in their finest attire,
    While visions of money was what they desired:

    Bubbles in her halter and Jenna in her skirt,
    Felt if they made no money, they'd really feel hurt;

    When in the parking lot arose such a clatter,
    Everyone got up to see what was the matter:

    When, what to their wondering eyes could be seen,
    Was a dapper chaffeur and a stretch limosine

    Coming out of the back in a fuzzy red suit,
    They knew in an instant, this guy must have loot!;

    More rapid than vultures his ATF's came,
    And he whistled, and hollered, and called them by name;

    "Now, Dasha! Now, Dedra! Now, Portia and Vixen!
    On, Cali! on Kendra! on, Donna and Kristen!

    Come my ladies to the Champagne Room!
    Now dance away! dance away! and show your bosoms!"

    And just when they thought this night would be hard,
    Santa put some Cristal on his AMEX card;

    To the VIP room his entourage went,
    To spend ten thousand dollars and thirty five cents;

    The ladies sat on his lap and wiggled their bums,
    And he rewarded them all with four digit $um$;

    He had an ear to ear grin as they crawled on his belly,
    And shook their breasts in his face like mounds full of jelly;

    They got so intense with this rich anti-Scrooge,
    He said, "Easy my lovelies, I don't want to splooge!"

    And six hours into his hedonist fling,
    He suddenly remembered that gift delivering thing;

    So into the ladies, and weak with desire,
    He decided this night, was the time to retire;

    And trying to remember those both nice and naughty,
    He pronounced, "Screw the kids! Bring in another hottie!"

    But duty called to him through this glorious sin,
    So he trudged out the door, three sheets to the wind;

    And they heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
    "Merry Christmas, you strippers. I'll be back tomorrow night!"
    Last edited by doc-catfish; 12-25-2005 at 12:19 AM.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: 'Twas the night before Christmas...

    OMG thats cute! Whata nice stripper x-mas story.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  3. #3
    God/dess blondhottie's Avatar
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    Default Re: 'Twas the night before Christmas...

    Awesome Doc, I love it!

  4. #4
    God/dess mortalman's Avatar
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    Default Re: 'Twas the night before Christmas...

    Really quite creative and funny

    Never thought in my entire life I would see someone rhyme scrooge and splooge. LOL

  5. #5
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    Default Re: 'Twas the night before Christmas...

    fabulous. Sent the link to my entire network

  6. #6
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: 'Twas the night before Christmas...

    LOL...it's a new classic, Mad.

  7. #7
    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: 'Twas the night before Christmas...

    Very well done

    Could win the pull-its surprise.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

  8. #8
    Member LadyLust's Avatar
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    Default Re: 'Twas the night before Christmas...

    ^^^^I totaly agree with everyone...

  9. #9
    Featured Member Lyssa Lynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: 'Twas the night before Christmas...

    Very nice gift for us, thanks for the huge smile on my face! Merry Christmas doc!

  10. #10
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    Default Re: 'Twas the night before Christmas...

    LOL...nice one, Doc!

  11. #11
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: 'Twas the night before Christmas...

    That's awesome!

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

  12. #12
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: 'Twas the night before Christmas...

    Quote Originally Posted by VenusGoddess
    LOL...it's a new classic, Mad.
    Though i'd gladly take credit, i must insist a glance at the original poster name is in order, Venus.

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