I came up with this little parody in just a couple of hours, so bear with me if its a little crass (or just plain sucks), but hopefully some of you get a kick out of it...
And a Merry Christmas to you all,
'Twas the night before Christmas, at the club where gals strip,
The bums wouldn't buy dances, not even a tip;
Their garters were hung on their thighs with care,
In hopes that dead pre$ident$ soon would be there;
The ladies were dolled up in their finest attire,
While visions of money was what they desired:
Bubbles in her halter and Jenna in her skirt,
Felt if they made no money, they'd really feel hurt;
When in the parking lot arose such a clatter,
Everyone got up to see what was the matter:
When, what to their wondering eyes could be seen,
Was a dapper chaffeur and a stretch limosine
Coming out of the back in a fuzzy red suit,
They knew in an instant, this guy must have loot!;
More rapid than vultures his ATF's came,
And he whistled, and hollered, and called them by name;
"Now, Dasha! Now, Dedra! Now, Portia and Vixen!
On, Cali! on Kendra! on, Donna and Kristen!
Come my ladies to the Champagne Room!
Now dance away! dance away! and show your bosoms!"
And just when they thought this night would be hard,
Santa put some Cristal on his AMEX card;
To the VIP room his entourage went,
To spend ten thousand dollars and thirty five cents;
The ladies sat on his lap and wiggled their bums,
And he rewarded them all with four digit $um$;
He had an ear to ear grin as they crawled on his belly,
And shook their breasts in his face like mounds full of jelly;
They got so intense with this rich anti-Scrooge,
He said, "Easy my lovelies, I don't want to splooge!"
And six hours into his hedonist fling,
He suddenly remembered that gift delivering thing;
So into the ladies, and weak with desire,
He decided this night, was the time to retire;
And trying to remember those both nice and naughty,
He pronounced, "Screw the kids! Bring in another hottie!"
But duty called to him through this glorious sin,
So he trudged out the door, three sheets to the wind;
And they heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas, you strippers. I'll be back tomorrow night!"




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LOL...nice one, Doc!


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