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Thread: I'm not a sex offender!

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    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default I'm not a sex offender!

    I am sick of people hearing about my gig and automatically assuming that I'm an immoral pervert who can't be trusted around kids or patients. Point in case: While I was working as a nursing assistant in a group home for mentally retarded people, a coworker's boyfriend recognized me and word got around. My female coworkers were all nasty about it, but one 50-year old coworker went especially apeshit. She said that such dirty, nasty whores cannot be trusted around such vulnerable people like the residents. Oh come on, what the hell would I have done? Sexually molested people who will always have the mentality of a 3-year old? Buy them porno magazines? Met clients OTC while on duty during night shift? I loved my job and did far better than the other slackers there, and the residents and moms all loved me.

    I eventually quit before I could get fired. Yes, I know that they couldn't fire me for stripping, but they were out for my blood and were digging for excuses (reporting me for the littlest things, making stuff up for reporting, leaving huge messes for my shift, going through my mailbox, bullying me, scheduling me on weekends when I'd be making the most money). The main reason I quit was because they were holding my male coworker responsible for accomplicing me by helping me juggle the jobs. They didn't even ask me if I was stripping at first, they asking him. Petty, backstabbling, cowardly bitches. He had a wife and kids to support and I didn't want to put his job in danger as well, so I quit.

    Do any of you face the same prejudice? I'm especially directing this questions at you moms who do PTA and associate with other people's kids.

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    Featured Member Crow's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not a sex offender!

    Ignorant people will always act in an ignorant fashion.. sad thing is there's no way to make them stop.

    In your case, if that would of been myself in your position I would of hired a lawyer. Quickly.

    I don't tell people what I do for this reason. It's simply not worth the hassle.

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    Veteran Member SexeJaz's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not a sex offender!

    ^^^^Agree^^^^ There's always going to be fucked up people in this world.

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    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not a sex offender!

    I wasn't asking for advice, but thanks anyway. Simply not mentioning the job is enough of a preventative measure. I moved across the country and I've quit stripping, so the topic never comes up. Quitting the job was for the best anyway, as I could work more hours and work every weekend, which yielded more money and better hours.

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    Featured Member Lyssa Lynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not a sex offender!

    Oh that is so lame! I'm sorry that happened to you. I don't have any PTA stories yet, my daughter is only 7 months old, but gee I can't wait to come across some ignorant bastard who judges me for working in a place where he was just at the night before spending his kids college fund!

  6. #6
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: I'm not a sex offender!

    That sucks so bad. I'm sorry you had to go thru that. My experience was completely different. I used to work at a credit card company call center doing customer service and collections. I also have a daughter who's kindergarten class I used to volunteered in on a weekly basis. At my "real" job, everyone, including upper management, knew what my "other" job was. Sometimes, people from work would come to the club, buy dances, have drinks with me, etc. I'm not sure if the folks at the school knew what I did, but I certainly didn't hide it.

    My philosophy has always been not to hide it, but I also made sure to put on my best face, attitude and all, when I wasn't certain how the news of my being a stripper would be met. I wanted to make sure to never give them any ammunition. I'm not giving advice, here, just telling how I got thru it.

    I hope you have the confidence in yourself to not let this affect how you will treat similar situations in the future.

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    Featured Member Crow's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not a sex offender!

    Not offering advice, simply stating what I personally would of done. My commentary said as much.

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    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not a sex offender!

    Merci Beaucoup, Madame Crow!

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    God/dess KamrynAnne's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not a sex offender!

    typical sterotyping... i just think its wrong to judge people by their line of work... they're probably just jealous bc they're fat, ugly and have no lives... screw em, glad u left that place...

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    Default Re: I'm not a sex offender!

    The boyfriend of the coworker that recognized you,was the one that should have been given the "third degree".You are there to make a living.He was there for an entirely different reason.I hate how people associate the two and make it the same.Dancing and being a patron are two COMPLETELY different things.They should have ostracized his dumb*ss.Not you.Women can be so damned petty and dumb.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

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    Veteran Member Kharisma's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not a sex offender!

    I am sorry you are having to deal with this! I know it isnt easy. I have a 6 year old daughter who just started school and fortunatly the topic of my job hasnt come up. Moving around at this milirty post though, a lot of the neighbors talk about me and assume everything I do is b/c i am a stripper, I wear shorts and a tank top.....even though it is 98* outside(not now in the summer) im only wearing that b/c i am a stripper. The best way I have larned to deal with it is do just keep doing what I am doing. if they dont like like me simply based on the fact I am a stripper, they are missing out on a great opportunity to get along. I really hope you feel better....

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    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not a sex offender!

    Quote Originally Posted by KamrynAnne
    typical sterotyping... i just think its wrong to judge people by their line of work... they're probably just jealous bc they're fat, ugly and have no lives... screw em, glad u left that place...
    Haha, they were fat, ugly losers who would have been flipping burgers if they hadn't been hired by the nursing assistant job because the company was so desperate that they take anything. It was hilarious how I'd overhear them saying, "She's a scrawny little Jap with no hips, tits or ass. I dunno who'd hire that skank as a stripper." Like I said, I'm not mad anymore b/c I tripled (sometimes quintupled) my income when I quit the regular job. Even better, they're never going to make more than $9 an hour, and I'm going on to an education and a career.

  13. #13
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: I'm not a sex offender!

    Quote Originally Posted by Kharisma
    Moving around at this milirty post though, a lot of the neighbors talk about me and assume everything I do is b/c i am a stripper, I wear shorts and a tank top.....even though it is 98* outside(not now in the summer) im only wearing that b/c i am a stripper. The best way I have larned to deal with it is do just keep doing what I am doing. if they dont like like me simply based on the fact I am a stripper, they are missing out on a great opportunity to get along. I really hope you feel better....
    LOL! Wearing shorts and a tank top b/c you're a stripper! Haha! I get the same thing when it's hot out. Except it's almost like people think since I'm tan, blond, and have big boobs I have no right to wear a tank top. Or that I'm only wearing it because I have a fake rack. No, people, it's fucking hot and I don't want to sweat!

    Oh, and good for you for dealing with people on base. It's funny to me to think how people, my own mother, even, have ostracized me only because I'm a stripper. One of my girlfriends once said, "Doesn't your mother realize what a wonderful person you are?"

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    Default Re: I'm not a sex offender!

    Whenever I have gotten a "mainstream" job, if I was honest about stripping, or if someone found out, there were problems. Usually guys being lewd or women starting trouble. Once, working at a group home (for DD, same as you) I was told my tops were too low and in spite of the heat and poor air cond., I was forced to "cover myself up more', all the while the other females ran around in itty bitty shirts and tank tops. They were smaller busted, so it was allowed, while I had to sweat my butt off!

  15. #15
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: I'm not a sex offender!

    I get enough bs from my daughters school with my being a young mom (had her at 16)... if they knew I was a dancer on top of it I dont think I could have dealt....

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not a sex offender!

    Ugh... rack it up as one of the costs of the job. I don't understand how some people can be so closed minded! Even before I started dancing... Treating someone like that is so fucking mean and pointless... ESPECIALLY when it's because of someone's job... ESPECIALLY ESPECIALLY when it's because of someone's job that you just don't understand. Ugh!!!!
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Default Re: I'm not a sex offender!

    Yep. I volunteer as an advocate for abused and neglected children that are dependents of the state. I'm a volunteer case manager, so in addition to having three kids that I keep tabs on and visit with constantly, I have four people who call me to talk about their cases, and send me their reports to proofread, and need me to go to meetings with them and stuff. It's an almost full time volunteer job. When I started, I told the director that I dance. Her response was, "well, I don't care, but if people find out don't let anyone know that I knew." A week later she was rearranging my cases so that I didn't have any teenage girls because I'm a "bad role model for teenage girls." Then she tried to tell me that by being a stripper I am hanging out with people who abuse children. Eventually she got over it, started giving me girls, and made me a case manager. She's gone now, and I haven't mentioned it to the new co-directors. What they don't know won't hurt them.



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    Featured Member evan_essence's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not a sex offender!

    Quote Originally Posted by Krazyjane
    My female coworkers were all nasty about it, but one 50-year old coworker went especially apeshit. She said that such dirty, nasty whores cannot be trusted around such vulnerable people like the residents.
    Ugh. I always hope that I can deal with that type of situation and be personally triumphant. My first inclination is to hope that some external solution exists via the law or pure magic in which the good guys win. My first thought to your situation was, that's sexual harassment. File a formal complaint and threaten to sue! Give them hell because the handwriting's already on the wall so you've got nothing to lose!! Upon more reflection, my next thought - far more rational - is always, just get outta there and move on, as you did. In essence, you personally triumphed over the situation because of the choices you made as a result of it.

    I don't tell people involved with my non-stripping work about it because I know there would be unjustified repercussions against me if they knew. I understand I risk being exposed at any time even though I take precautions not to be. Regardless, I have enough confidence in myself to know I've worked hard enough to obtain, and am blessed to have, the intellect, skills and talent to come out on top even if it does happen.

    -Ev

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    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not a sex offender!

    Quote Originally Posted by millionsof_peaches
    Whenever I have gotten a "mainstream" job, if I was honest about stripping, or if someone found out, there were problems. Usually guys being lewd or women starting trouble. Once, working at a group home (for DD, same as you) I was told my tops were too low and in spite of the heat and poor air cond., I was forced to "cover myself up more', all the while the other females ran around in itty bitty shirts and tank tops. They were smaller busted, so it was allowed, while I had to sweat my butt off!
    I'm lucky that the nurse in charge didn't care what I did outside of work as long as I did well at my job, which I did. It rocks to have an unashamed nymphomaniac for a boss who freely discusses her latest toys and sexcapades. I had a little private conversation with her about leaving, and how I was going to give my resignation letter with the alibi "I need to concentrate on school" to the supervisors. The reason I did this was b/c my coworker's job was in jeopardy (see first post), plus the group home I worked in had a policy that if a certain supervisor was contacted, and if enough people voiced their dismay, the person would be fired. My boss agreed that it was for the best, and wished me luck. I never had another problem after that. The said supervisor even found out the whole story through my male coworker whose job I saved, and the supervisor just rolled his eyes and said, "Petty bitches."

    If I'm applying for a job, and they check with my former jobs, am I correct in assuming that they only ask 1) Whether or not I did a good job and 2) If they'd hire me again?

    Yeesh, I feel sorry for you caseworkers and PTA moms, because god knows you are not going to encourage orgies, debauchery, and molest little kids.

    I agree that it's often best to keep the stripping history quiet. Those who have the guts to be open have ovaries the size of basketballs. Women get petty and accuse you of "cheating," and men assume that you're so cool that you wouldn't mind seeing the real them or get you ass grabbed.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not a sex offender!

    I am a little nervous about some crap like this happening with my new job. I haven't had a 'real' job in years, and when I did have another job before, I was mostly working for people who already knew I was a stripper and didn't care. Now I've been hired in a place where I know some coworkers would be jerks if they find out, and I'm really hoping no one does. I'm still stripping once a week in the same metro area, so it's possible some guys at work could go to the club and recognize me. God I hope not!

    Some people are such assholes

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: I'm not a sex offender!

    [QUOTE=Krazyjane]

    If I'm applying for a job, and they check with my former jobs, am I correct in assuming that they only ask 1) Whether or not I did a good job and 2) If they'd hire me again?
    QUOTE]

    I believe that legally that is all they are allowed to ask, but they often ask more anyway, and sadly, there are many that will supply far more info than they are supposed to. However, if this happens and it costs you the job, or harrassment, then you have a good legal case on your hands.

    I put on my resume that I have a "home business" -technically true as I work for myself, or just "independent contractor", then list skills from dancing. There are many basic "mainstream" job skills that we learn & practice as dancers; ie: maintaining a professional appearance, time management, creating budgets/financial planning, building a client base, networking, scheduling appointments, customer service (gotta love that one!), etc.
    Here's my all time favorite, direct from my resume: "maximizing profits while catering to client needs and maintaining excellent customer satisfaction"
    Generally, if they push for details to what I actually do, I often will tell them I sell clothing/costumes. Believable, and fits the skills listed. Also true in a limited sense, as I *have* sold many of my costumes!

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    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not a sex offender!

    I don't have the problem in the form of a huge gap between employment, as I'm a student. Thank god for alibis.

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    Default Re: I'm not a sex offender!

    In some ways it's fortunate that some past employers will give you a good recommendation even if they were less than enthusiastic about you as an employee. They want you to move on and don't want you to draw unemployment at their expense or make legal trouble for them over the reasons leading to your departure. (That's unfortunate for the next employer if the employee is truly not competent for the job.)

    -Ev

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    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not a sex offender!

    Actaully, as far as dealing with other Moms goes, I have no issues whatsoever. In fact, I tell everybody right up front who I am and waht I do. I emphasize WHY I am still doing this as a parent (the hours and felxibility) and people seem to respond reasonably. OF course, I have no idea what they say behind my back, but I can't help that. I figure, it is my choice to be honest from the get-go (because I have no inclination to act ashamed about my life) 0and their decision how they are going to cope.


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    Default Re: I'm not a sex offender!

    Once, upon discussing a second job at an italian restaurant a friend owned, I was denied. His reasoning? He knew I danced... he said dancers were spoiled and had no work ethic, therefore would not be willing to work for such a low wage. I explained to him he was a fool, for technically we pay to work, and at his establishment I would be working for the same I would have at my work... tips.
    "I have never seen an ugly thing, be it's form as it may, light and shadow will make it beautiful" (yea rough... i know)
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