Originally Posted by devoncassidy
there's no such thing. i'm guessing that you've had several "love-at-first-sights" in your life.

Originally Posted by devoncassidy
there's no such thing. i'm guessing that you've had several "love-at-first-sights" in your life.
I do not think that one can truly love someone they do not really know. There can be chemistry or a comfort level, but beyond that you need to know someone. This becomes even more difficult because what you see with a dancer is not really her. It is just a persona. You need time to get to know someone. With a dancer in a club the persona is usually what you get to know. If you like the persona it means she is good at her job. She may be totally different OTC. There are plenty of posts showing that it is next to impossible to transform club relationship into a real meaningful relationship. It is not something that I would expect to happen.
I did meet my girlfriend in a club. I use to go to clubs a couple of times a month. I always got dances from different dancers. I was not looking for a relationship that lasted after I left the club. I met someone who happened to be a dancer while she was at work. We did have some chemistry. Over the next several months I came in more and more. I did increase my spending from $200-300 per trip to about $1000 so I could get her off stage. She was just my ATF and I was just her customer. I never had the intention of finding a girlfriend. She had told me that she had a boyfriend and a child. After about 4 months and over $20,000 in bar bills she told me that she was glad to see me because she did not feel like dancing. She knew that I would buy her off stage. She stated that she had broken up with her boyfriend. We sat and just talked all night. At the end of the night she gave me her phone number. That was well over a year ago. We have been serious for almost a year now. It is the best relationship I have ever had. She just happens to have the job of dancing.
I will only go to a club while she is there. That is by my choice. We often have dinner at her club before she gets on stage. As stated in several threads, the key is to find out if she likes you or just your money. If she likes you then she should not treat you like a customer. I do tip my girlfriend when she is on stage, but only as encouragement for others to tip her.
^^^ the Holy Grail! ATF becomes girlfriend. It's stories like this that helps keep the money rolling for me.![]()
Emily,
How do I turn my relationship with my ATF into a real one?
I ask because I KNOW she likes me, not like other guys. She told me. Sure she could just be saying that, but she made eye contact...and bit her lip...and somewhere on google I read that that's a sign of truth telling :/
Mast
People are not ruled by their memories.
I do not think you can intentionally change a relationship like that. I think it takes two people who are willing to take a chance on each other as all relationships are. Dancers need to be careful since there are significant risks. Then again future abusive boyfriends do not just hangout in clubs. For us it just happened. I was very skeptical even on our first OTC date about anything actually happening. She had only been out with one other customer for lunch and it turned out bad. I had never asked a dancer to meet OTC. The change has gotten me a great relationship. It has also saved me lots of money that I would have spent at the club. This is Texas so the money will be hers when we marry in June anyway.


hey everyone.
I am new here, and I would like to chime in.
first of all, I have dated, actually was engaged, to a stripper. We aren't together now, but not becuase of the stripping (actually, the total opposite.. everyonce in a while, I would come to the club and watch her give dances to other guys, it turned me on), different religions, and it just wasn't going to work. However I didn't meet her at a strip club.
I have quisi/dated another stripper... however I didn't meet her at a strip club either.
However, it's very possible, not likely, but possible to date women at SC's
I have once dated, well, I think date is a strong word... had great, constant sex with a waitress at a bar here that is the biggest in the state.
And I have a theory.. the only difference between strip clubs and a good sports bar is that the waitresses don't get naked, and there is food.
They still sell the attractiveness of women, they only hire (9 times out of 10, unless desperate) attractive women (and this girl was no different), they flirt for tips, etc.
Well, not only was she a waitress, she was 2 years older than me, and married.
Actrually, what I did, without knowing it, was follow the advice TOO gave to a T. I was the best sportsbar customer there. I have always been an excellent tipper. The othe rnight I went to that same bar (she doesn't work there anymore) and gave a 30 dollar tip on a 28 dollar meal. I was just myself.
I never asked her to date me, or to go out with me. In fact, I really didn't tell her much about me, at least at first. I let her curosity wonder. IN fact, I wasn't even trying to get at her, it just kinda happened.
I never told her I thought she was good looking (I did think she was), I was just myself.
Then over time, I noticed that she started paying more and more attention to me. Until one night she mentioned she wanted to get drinks after work.. so I told her to stop by my hosue with her friends, I have a minibar at my crib, which I do.
She came, but no friends.
She later told me, what drove her wild about me, was not that I was good looking, which I am, however I am black and she is white, not that it matters, but she said she has never been attracted to a black guy until she meet me.. she said she really wasn't attracted to me until she got to know me.
anyway, she said that I wasn't "needy" and that she could tell I wanted her, but she could also tell that i didn't need her.. which was actually true. In otherwords.. I wouldn't mind getting with her, but I'm not going to die if it doesn't happen, I have other options.
Same with entertainers. Don't Think you are soooooo great, a girl is going to marry you on your first visit. It's going to take time and money.
I don't go to strip clubs for any particular woman, I love to go because i love the enviroment. And I am a great customer. My rep preceeds me. Girls literarly fight to sit with me because they know i not only can, I WiLL make their night.. and I am a very good dresser, always smell nice, and I am easy on the eyes.
I buy drinks for everyone. I buy drinks for the bartender. I buy drinks for the waitress... last week I actually talked the waitress until giving me a lapdance for $20.
The bouncers even like me. I tip them whenever I get private dancers. They have a 'no touch' rule out on the floor, she can touch you but you can't touch her. I have literarly had my tounge down a girls thoat before without anyone saying 2 words to me.
Oh, there are 2 girls I REALLY woulnd't mind GETTING TO KNOW at the strip club that I work at... but it's going to take a hell of a lot more than a lot of makeup and nice legs to think i'm in love.
I don't even really like lapdances, they don't really arouse me.. I mean, I don't turn them down, but I am just as happy talking with a girl than I am getting grinded on. If I can tell a girl is having a rough day or jus tisn't into it, I tell her she can rest and we can sit here and chill, i could care less.
Understand, that even though you are drinking and buying drinks, this is her job. she has to make money, all of them. I tell every girl there, hey, babe, go make your money, do what you gotta do, I don't care, I know rent has to be paid, etc.
However, never go with the expecation of something happening, becuase it won't. And they are right.. she will choose you, you don't have to ask, she will make it known she wants you.
I have a feeling one of the strippers has a thing for me.. actually one of the two I wouldn't mind getting to know, but even if she doesn't, I don't really care because it's not like she is my GF, t's the equilvant of a hot girl at your job, she's working and you are at her job. She's cute, but that's all I know about her (actually I know alot more, but you get the point)
^^^That's one helluva first post


Thanks..
Strip clubs facinate me.. not just the women, I love the enviorment. There aren't too many places where you can watch a basketball game, have people bring you drinks and watch big tits in your face and have girls jocking to be with you all at the same time, even if you are pa ying for it.

if a guy meets the dancer in the club, then she's already written him off (unless he's a famous celebrity).Originally Posted by songofthesword


yesterday was my first day here.. this is an interesting board, and after reading some of the older posts, let me expand on what I said and what some of the other more informed dancers here have to say.
For the most part, I think all of the dancers here are right on the mark
The reason why most dancers won't date customers isn't because they are customers... it's becuase they aren't dateworthy.
There aren't too many strippers here that if a guy walked in, had the looks (not brad pitt, but good looking), in shape, able to hold a decent conversation without talking about him wanting to fuck you, knew, respected, and played by the rules of the game, and wasn't a physco, you wouldn't look at him in a different light.
The problem is with most regulars, at least from what I gather, is most have at least one major flaw that is usually a glaring problem.
Now me personally, I don't necessarly go to strip clubs looking for dates. Let me rephrase that.. I don't go to strip clubs looking for dates. That's just plain silly and anyone that goes in with that mindset is dumb and is setting themselves up for a complete and utter failure.
However, if I met a dancer that over time, I wouldn't mind getting to know a little more, I might entertain the idea of seeing her on different terms.
Most guys problem is either they are too impatient, desperate, or just plain not physically appealing.
I mean I am a guy, and I look around in strip clubs, and i am not gay by any means, and I say to myself "damn, it's slim picken's in here for women"
They are correct, most guys are usually old and ungly, young and young, old broke and desperate, socially enupt, stink, cheap bastards, the list goes on and on.
You will get a LOOOONG way by treating the strip club as in an experience, not an eposide to try to fuck a stripper. As a matter of fact, I would never accecpt an extra from a stripper.. the thrill is in the chase, not the catch, and if she is giving an extra, what in the hell makes you think you are so special that she won't do it to anyone else
(well, one time my GF took me to the VIP section and gave me a BJ.. was pretty eroticI even let her keep the money when she got home, she earned it)..
NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER eVER EVER ask a stripper.. hell, as a matter of fact, this goes for all women in general.. never ask a girl to be exclusive.
If you have to ask a woman to be exclusive, or in a SC, if you have to ask a woman to date you or tell her you are interested in her, you have already lost, because a woman will make it known, to some extent or another depending on the girl, if she is interested in you.
The married chick made it known she was interested not because she asked to come my house, but because she used to always go out of her section, which would be at times on an intererly diffeernt floor, to come talk to me, and at times, purposely bump into me, even invited me to her BDAY party with her husband there. That and my fav waitress told me that one day I walked in and she told her that she was going to fuck me one day.
With all of that said, never EXPECT anything to happen. the only thing you go to a SC expecting is a good time with attractive nude women that will to some extent try to hustle.
I know I am gettting hustled when I walk though the door. I mean, I know I am good looking (i'm not cocky or anythnig, but I take care of myself and I know what i am) however when a dancer tells me I am good looking, she might mean it to some extent, but that doesn't means she likes me. She wants the money folded up in my pocket, or if she is realllly lucky, she wants me to get up and go to the aTM machine.
However, I not only know I am getting hustled, I enjoy it. That's why I go. They aren't by any means fooling me. I take it for what it's worth. I have had 3 dancers in the last 2 weeks give me their numbers. I don't think any of them like me. They want me as a regular, because I spend alot of money. I take it for what it's worth. Them trying to hustle me.
As a matter of fact, ti can be harder on a guy if he is somewhat good looking, because if he is, he thinks the girls really do like them, because he isn't used to getting hustled and thinks their itnerest is geniune. good thing I am experiened with women and have some common sense.. most guys common sense go out the window when little man pop's up.
I don't ask for phone numbers. I don't ask for real names? Why? What the fuck am I going to do with your real name? I bet it sucks anyway. Actually, most end up telling me their real names anyway. My regular dancer's stage name is Angel, real name is Jessica.. I perfer Angel, although she does look like a jessica.
I do pretty well for myself.. Actually, I do very well for myself honestly. But I don't brag about it, and to a dancer, a guy with a shitload of money and the first thing that comes out of his month is "baby I can buy you anything you want" is just as bad off as a broke cheap ass.
Women, all women, even though there is some natrual instinct to want a provider, want to be liked for them, not becuase they have nice legs, or a big ass, or big tits, or even worse than all, they are "strippers"
Treat them not like strippers, but attractive women that happen to dance for a living. Big difference.
And none of that will guarantee you any success with anyone. However, at the worst, it will make your experience at a SC a more enjoyable one.
The time I have at a SC far far exceeds what I do at a regular club, which I do go to often as well, and even pick up chicks from time to time, not often though.
I agree with songofthesword, but I would say shorter: if you've learnt to enjoy everything around you, then you do not depend on anything. You do not pretend girls have to sleep with you, you just enjoy regardless what happens: if you have dated someone, that is fine, if not - fine anyway.
As for figuring out whether a girl likes you or not, it is not difficult unless you give out desiriable to be a real thing. Which is not a problem if you enjoy everything around.


in retropspect, the same thing that makes a guy diserable outside the SC is the same inside one.
If you meet a guy that comes to you, as cute as he may be, but is clingy and makes it sound like you are the key to his happiness, you aren't going to see him in a very "sexy" light, because no man is depenant on another woman to make them happy.
However, if a guy walks in and just enjoys it for what it's worth, will pay for expensive VIP Dances and enjoys them for what they are, no extras, has fun with everyone, etc, at the extreme very least, he is going to find his time more enjoyable.
You have a lot yet to learn, my friend. Stick around and read....Originally Posted by songofthesword


you are 150% correct
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