Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: Humour: Why God Created Children

  1. #1
    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2002
    Location
    ...hehehe... email me to ask me where i am ! (i dare you!)
    Posts
    11,486
    Thanks
    42
    Thanked 127 Times in 51 Posts

    Default Humour: Why God Created Children



    WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN
    (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)



    To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students... here is something to make you chuckle.

    Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

    After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

    And the first thing he said was
    " DON'T!"

    "Don't what?" Adam replied.

    "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

    "Forbidden fruit?
    We have forbidden fruit?
    Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!"

    "No Way!"

    "Yes way!"

    "Do NOT eat the fruit! "
    said God.

    "Why?"

    "Because I am your Father and I said so! "

    God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.

    A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!

    "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? " God asked.

    "Uh huh," Adam replied.

    "Then why did you? " said the Father.


    "I don't know," said Eve.

    "She started it! " Adam said.

    "Did not! "

    "Did too! "

    "DID NOT! "

    Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.

    Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.



    BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

    If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.

    If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

    THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

    1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

    2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

    3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

    4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

    5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

    6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.


    ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

    Be nice to your kids.
    They will choose your
    nursing home one day.

    AND FINALLY:

    IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS on THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

    "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN"
    AND
    "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!




    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

  2. #2
    God/dess kitana's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2004
    Location
    kentucky
    Posts
    3,582
    Thanks
    49
    Thanked 60 Times in 43 Posts

    Default Re: Humour: Why God Created Children

    Rofl!!! It was funny when I heard Bill Cosby do it, and I still get a kick out of it now!

    Thanks GCG!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Quote Originally Posted by ExoticEngineer View Post
    Feel like a damn salt lick at the goats petting zoo!
    <08SM>

  3. #3
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Lil Rhody
    Posts
    10,471
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Humour: Why God Created Children

    Heh.. Very cute, GCG!

  4. #4
    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    1,269
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts

    Default Re: Humour: Why God Created Children

    Hahaha, so true! I just can't stand the slackers who take the easy route by doping up their kids with meds like my parents did. Yes I am aware that ADD does exist and some kids really need it, but it's overdone. FOr example, I was at my psychiatrist's office when I was 15, and I saw a mom feeding her kid Coke and M&M's. I thought to myself, "I'll bet my savings account that the kid's getting greated for ADD."

Similar Threads

  1. Hi there! Just created an account!
    By Pike in forum Camming Connection
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 06-13-2011, 08:00 PM
  2. Myspace! I wish I never created one
    By KamrynAnne in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 03-03-2007, 01:20 AM
  3. Created New Account
    By Boobie Monster in forum Coming Out
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 10-12-2004, 02:54 PM
  4. I think I created a junkie...
    By CrescentLuna in forum Shop Talk
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 06-01-2004, 06:40 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •