Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: BF and Dancing

  1. #1
    Member
    Joined
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    37
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Exclamation BF and Dancing

    First off, thanks so much for such a helpful site! All of the info is greatly appreciated, and is helping me make informed decisions. Here's my situation:

    -I have bartended and waitressed at local bars, currently model, and go to school. Social skills are my "cup of tea."

    -A recent car accident, school bills (debt), and other bills have put me in the HOLE when it comes to money. I am lucky to have a hundred dollars to my name in a given day.

    -I am in a relationship, living with my bf. We've been together two years. He hates the fact that I model; he hates that I work at a bar too. He makes excellent money (union man ooooh), and looks down upon people in our business. (bah!). I know, you're asking "so what are you doing!"

    -I'd like to start stripping. If I was single, I would be doing it. I'm worried that he'll find out if I did. I've got a good bod and a head on my shoulders.

    -Can any of you please tell me how dancing has affected your relationships...did they find out...are they ok with it.....is it better to be a single dancer....etc.

    -Should I just do it and hide it????

    Sorry about how long this is, I'm freaking out about money and don't know what else to do. Help!


  2. #2
    Veteran Member logan820's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Canyon, Texas
    Posts
    573
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: BF and Dancing

    If you live w/ him how do you plan on hiding it? It will eventually come out. You are single, you aren't married. If he hates your jobs, how is he supportive of you? I haven't been in a relationship since I started dancing, but whoever I date must be supportive of it. I guess it all comes down to how serious your relationship is. I think you should just be honest about wanitng to dance w/ him, and take it from there...good luck!!

  3. #3
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Key West
    Posts
    16,343
    Thanks
    1,395
    Thanked 5,487 Times in 2,768 Posts

    Default Re: BF and Dancing

    Quote Originally Posted by logan820
    If you live w/ him how do you plan on hiding it? It will eventually come out....If he hates your jobs, how is he supportive of you? I haven't been in a relationship since I started dancing, but whoever I date must be supportive of it...I think you should just be honest about wanitng to dance w/ him, and take it from there...good luck!!
    Good advice...

    You won't be able to hide it for long, and you'll be miserable before and after he finds out.

    Though I tend to be much more sympathetic to the BFs of dancers than many here--since I have had a few GFs who danced and I know all about the positive and negative aspects of the situation from a guy's point of view--the fact that your guy "looks down" on people in our business kinda makes me think you should just tell him to deal with it or get lost.

    But if you do work it out, you do start dancing, and he does accept it--for God's sake don't let him come into the club, and don't egg on any jealous tendency he might have by telling him about the 'hot guy I danced for tonight', etc. This would not only be cruel, but stupid (not to imply you are either!).

    Very few guys can handle having a dancer for a SO, and in the guys' defense, not many women can handle having a male stripper as a SO, either. We humans aren't inclined to easily accept the idea of someone we love grinding on the laps of a dozen strange people a night. It can be done by the right person, but they are rare.

    Having personally seen my SOs giving LDs, having made change for guys so they could get a dance from my SOs (the guys had no clue who I was), and having reminded my SOs to "call that RIL back, weren't you supposed to meet him today for lunch?", I feel pretty good about my own attitude--but I'd be a lying son-of-a-bitch if I didn't say I have had my share of trouble with it, too.

    I think Bridgette has perhaps the best idea I have heard about the subject, that serious relationships should be avoided (not ruled out, of course) while you are dancing.

    Good luck!
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  4. #4
    Veteran Member susie's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2005
    Location
    used to be cleveland, now it's michigan
    Posts
    299
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: BF and Dancing

    Soooo, is he really just a "christian" man who has a problem w/the adult industry..or does he like making all the money because he then gets to "call the shots" and controll more of the relationship?
    If you live together, he should pay more bills. If he doesn't it is on your sholders. Tell him what you want to do. Do not let yourself be in a relationship that you compromise yourself on. Compromises are a part of any relationship, but are about day to day issues, not weather or not you have the freedom to get a job doing ANYTHING you choose. Don't hide it, that makes him right. Be a grown up about this, he is not your boss. Tell him what your doing, then he can take it, but be prepaired, he may choose to leave it. If he loves you, he will not!
    Thats what I would do. My man and I have a deal, my pussy is for him. I have lingeret for just him. That is our compromise.
    Susie

  5. #5
    Member
    Joined
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    37
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: BF and Dancing

    Thanks for the input you guys. Lying to him would definitely be a stupid thing to do. (I wouldn't want to be lied to by him, but on the other hand I wouldn'twant him to be in the same financial situation I am). I guess I should just be upfront, and tell him I'm considering it. I think it would be a great opportunity for me to get ahead financially and not have to worry about bouncing checks and going in the hole time and time again and having to rely totally on him. It would also give me a lot of time during the day for school work.

    Basically comes down to: am I willing to give up this relationship for a job that would help me out big time.....

    I really love the conversations on this site; everybody is so helpful, upfront, and nice. I've heard the dancers around here (michigan) are very, very, very catty. I'm worried I'd get walked all over.

    Decisions, decisions. God is it a gloomy day here!

  6. #6
    Senior Member Sasha04's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    144
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: BF and Dancing

    You need to do what you want to do..it's your life and it's up to you and no one else if you want to be a dancer. This is a job too and if he can't handle it then get rid of him. Let him know that this is what you really want to do and that you like to dance. He doesn't need to be looking down at you. Since he makes so much you need to tell him that he needs to be helping you out financially because he is the man. If someone is not treating you right then you don't need to be with them.

  7. #7
    Featured Member kikin's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Southern Polar Ice Cap
    Posts
    855
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: BF and Dancing

    keekeen sez never lie in a relationship u care about.

  8. #8
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Key West
    Posts
    16,343
    Thanks
    1,395
    Thanked 5,487 Times in 2,768 Posts

    Default Re: BF and Dancing

    Quote Originally Posted by liah
    I've heard the dancers around here (michigan) are very, very, very catty. I'm worried I'd get walked all over.

    Decisions, decisions. God is it a gloomy day here!
    Be strong, Liah. Things get better...

    Eight months ago the only three people who really mattered to me turned on me, and I literally had not a dime of my own to my name.

    Six weeks ago, having made up with one of them (my mom), she died--three days after a new but nonetheless very, very close friend of mine was brutally gunned down.

    Nonetheless, I am far stronger than I have ever been.

    I have regained the love and respect of my father (one of the other 2).

    I could care less what the 3rd person thinks, since they did their level best to utterly destroy my reputation in the social setting we met (Though I wish her a good life, and cherish the memories of the times we shared in the first year we were together).

    I have the respect and affection of the dancers I work with, 3 of whom are members of this site, not to mention all the female attention a man could want.

    I am sitting in the sun, on the balcony of a nice large two room suite in a hotel on the beach, with a jacuzzi in the master bath. I can walk into Circuit City and buy whatever the fuck I want to.

    I am kicking ass in an extremely challenging work situation.

    But enough about me, lol--the point is, you can do it, too--just have faith in yourself...

    PS I see that you are asking about music elsewhere. I am DJ who loves helping newbies here and at work, and I will help you if you like, but right now I need to get some sleep (I got 3 hours last night and I have aanother challenging night ahead of me). In the meantime, I would also suggest that you check out the Music Mix forum here on StripperWeb, you will find some great advice there.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  9. #9
    Senior Member NikkiWest's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2004
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    156
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 13 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: BF and Dancing

    I find that being in a relationship is actually easier for me while dancing. My bf is very supportive and it's nice when I come home at 3 am upset from having a crappy day at work that I can wake him up and he'll make me dinner/breakfast and laugh together and put me in a better mood. It works for us, but I know many dancers who have had nothing but drama with significant others... including the bf coming into work and getting into a fist fight with the bouncers.

    I don't think you have to be single to dance, but it would be hard to hide it and no significant other is probably better than one that's just going to bring you down all the time about your work.

Similar Threads

  1. Exotic Dancing's NOT Real Dancing
    By Optimist in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 11-27-2011, 02:44 PM
  2. Taxi dancing/Dollar dancing
    By LilyLove in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 10-16-2007, 07:24 AM
  3. chair dancing vs bed dancing
    By manchester in forum Newbie Board
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 08-09-2006, 02:05 AM
  4. Can't Post Under Dancing Jobs *Dancing Job
    By FoxyRoxIt in forum Other Work
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 09-23-2005, 03:45 AM
  5. Does your pole dancing reflect your lap dancing personality?
    By Head Boy in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 05-16-2005, 07:55 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •