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Thread: Anal Sex Problem, please Advise

  1. #1
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Anal Sex Problem, please Advise

    Anal issue rears its rather large, bulbous head. STOP THE PRESSES, I CAN'T TAKE IT IN THE ASS!!!!

    He's humongous of course, as per my requirement. There is plenty of tonguing, fingering, and lubing of the arse. Partner is a bit younger, well, only one year younger than I am. He gets impatient, and will give it a thrust as I'm trying to do my ashtanga breathing as I push it down inside. This causes instant searing pain and screws up the chakra banda flow.

    Last night I had to smack him around a bit and yelled. It looks like he's never going to get the ass if he won't just stop trying to push it in until my canal is relaxed enough. I am the Lord of the 3 Rings, and it takes some time to master independant control of the 3 sphincies. I tried it with me on top and with him on top. We also tried it doggie another time and that wasn't working....

    Anyone have any suggestions besides getting drunk? Even with a few in me, I still couldn't take it.....

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
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    Featured Member Paintbaby's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anal Sex Problem, please Advise

    If it's not your thing, it's not your thing. Don't beat yourself up about it! I'm not an up-the-butt girl either. I've tried it enough times to form an honest opinion--and I just don't enjoy!If he's so damned impatient to just ram it up there, though, maybe go and buy a large dildo and see how he likes being penetrated with a large object---I'm sure he'll become a bit more understanding and gentle after that! Personally, I've never taken it up the butt unless the guy took it first--fair's fair!

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    Veteran Member BlondeLocks's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anal Sex Problem, please Advise

    i love anal sex. I find that doggie style for the initial entry is best because it lengthens ur bumhole and feels more comfortable. Of course use immense amount of lube but the real key is to have vaginal sex before you try anal sex. Having vaginal sex before loosens up and relaxes you a bit...this may not be the best advice but I find I am way more relaxed if I am a little tipsy, just a thought. There are also anal desensitizing creams like Anal Eze at www.adameve.com The only way a penis will get in there is if both people know to go very slow...I usually have my guy enter me inch by inch every minute or so...and no crazy thrusting either...not until you are fully relaxed!
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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anal Sex Problem, please Advise

    Oh, just as a note, I'm an assex queen usually! I love it! I've taken a humongous Swedish 10 incher (maybe more) and at least 5 inches around repeatedly! I'm having an issue with this particular kid, what's going on, is it in my mind?? Should I somehow find a way to stap his hips down so he won't try to buck up while I am slowly working it in???

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Featured Member Paintbaby's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anal Sex Problem, please Advise

    Yes, he is behaving badly and needs to be disciplined. Buy the dildo, put it on the nightstand, and tell him if he doesn't mind his manners, you'll be using it to ravage his ass. This boy needs to be taught good ass-sex manners NOW--his next sex partner will thank you for it.

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    Featured Member Hello_Kitty27's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anal Sex Problem, please Advise

    Katrine, I know the exact pain you are feeling. Not fun. The first two times my BF and I did this, he was really impatient and would do the same thing.

    In my situation, my bf would panic if i so much as winced as he was going in and he'd either push in really hard or pull out, causing me to tense up. I sat him down in a non-sexual situation and explained how his reactions affected me in regard to the pain and/or tensing up, etc. I dvised him to follow my lead and let me control the first few minutes. I found success with missionary-style, with my legs way up on his shoulders. Once we (patiently) managed to get it in, it was smooth-sailing If he's getting antsy or 'bored' (from waiting), I'd just keep the mood up with some dirty talk.

    I mean, I don't know how many times you guys have tried, but I would try again. I don't know of any other specific remedies to this situation.....

    Good luck to you Kat!






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    Member "AngelEyes"'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Anal Sex Problem, please Advise

    May I suggest that you go out and buy a dildo aproximately the size of his Penis and shove it up his arse and then he can get a clue of what you are going through! Bah Men!
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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anal Sex Problem, please Advise

    ^^ LOL!

    Kat I think you need to do as Hello_kitty suggests and have a serious chat with him about it. Just tell him how huge his pecker is (we know they all love that ) and that he has to be patient while you work it in the arse slowly. Ass just doesn't stretch as easily as pussy - it's not made to. So it takes a bit more work to get a huge cock in there.

    If he can't slow the fuck down, I agree you should get a dildo the size of his dick and shove it up HIS ass for punishment. Don't say a word, just get the dildo and proceed shoving.

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    Default Re: Anal Sex Problem, please Advise

    Give it to Him in the ass. You wont feel a thing. I swear. Ask Mast, he says he doesnt feel anything.


    He likes it when I use Anal Eze. El numbo!
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  10. #10
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Anal Sex Problem, please Advise

    Sit in a hot bath beforehand. The heat absorbs into your tissues & makes you more pliable. BUT first promise to maim him if he hurts you during anal sex.

    (BTW a shout out to Swedish penis- my best guy friend is nicknamed Swedish MeatBall.)

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    Newbie ackman98's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anal Sex Problem, please Advise

    i TOTALLY agree with Paintbaby.

    Seriously though, does he ever like your finger inside of him? Most guys wont admit it, but they usually do. Even if its just the tip of your finger.

    If he does enjoy it, dont lube up and just ram it in there and show him how it feels. Use a few fingers.

    If he is opposed to the idea, try slipping your digit near his hole while you are cupping his balls. Play with them and "accidentally" touch his rim, but dont say anything. Maybe he will like it. Get him used to it. and then one day, stick the tip in. THEN...when he satrts asking you for it, RAMM it up there.

    Or just dont do anal.

  12. #12
    Featured Member venusofwillendorf's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anal Sex Problem, please Advise

    anal eeze will numb you, but that's not really a good thing. pain is you'r body's way of saying- STOP! something's wrong! the tissue lining the rectum is very thin and delicate, and not designed for serious thrusting, so while gobs of a good cushioning lube is a must, lubes with numbing agents will dull your ability to tell when something is tearing. obviously, fecal matter is not a good thing to have in open wounds (if it were, we'd be donating it to the red cross along with blood), and torn rectums and sphincters mean a really fun trip to the doctor. have him wrap his package, as the smoothness of latex allegedly helps things glide more easily. try having at least one orgasm through other means first in order to relax tension. don't get drunk for the same reasons that you shouldn't use numbing lubricant, but if a single glass or joint helps, go for it. have him warm you up veeeerrrry slowly, and i suggest keeping a spiked paddle handy in case he forgets himself. *(~gryns~)* take about 30 minutes using just fingers and toys. seriously. then let him slowly begin to insert. if you can't take it in past the head, that's fine. try again another night. but pushing past your body's limits with the rectum is a bad idea. if you want to get off on pain, try something like flogging or biting. something that won't result in embarrasing letters to your HMO.

    by the way, do not make the mistake of thinking porno vids are educational. they're not. you can't ram a 13 inch dildo up someone's ass with no warning and have them spontaneously orgasm from it with no problems whatsoever, and you can't repeatedly whip someone's kidneys without causing serious distress. yet another reason to not have drunk sex. use common sense, and leave the seriously intense stuff to the pros, who are mostly faking it anyway.
    Last edited by venusofwillendorf; 01-03-2006 at 07:35 AM.
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    Veteran Member HoneyHITZ's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anal Sex Problem, please Advise

    try laying on your side... i find thats the most comfy position for us, for anal... also, do use a condom, cuz it makes it slippery-ier and try a vibrator on your clit at the same time in order to relax the rest of you... or just dont do it if he doesnt respect your boundaries


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    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anal Sex Problem, please Advise

    this guy (whether because he's younger, or what) is not listening. THIS SIGNALS A PROBLEM just as much as his desire to play anal invaders III. Anal sex can be great, and the relaxation suggestions seem like they'd do the trick, however your friend Horse needs to understand that his NOT LISTENING is going to get him NO SEX PERIOD.
    and I understand the desire to threaten him with your own brand of bum whooping, however I wouldn't go through with it...ya'all are having sex to make each other feel good, not hurt each other. If you go to that point, I don't think it's going to increase the trust. If he keeps hurting you then perhaps you need to resort to a smaller dildo for anal only for double penetration. he's missing out, but he's the one that made that decision by being too rash.

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    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anal Sex Problem, please Advise

    I mean unless you absolutely enjoy what is the point in taking up the ass. The rectum is simply not intended for sex. Not that you shouldn't do it if you enjoy it but it takes practice and patience. You have to be careful and your partner has to be understanding. If he is not do as the other's suggested. Tell him to try it for once.

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    Member itsbecca's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anal Sex Problem, please Advise

    I was drunk the first time I received. No pain at all! Okay, maybe not the best suggestion.

    If it's really something you want to give your best shot you might consider getting an anal dildo to get yourself used to being stretched, as well as seeing if it's something you're into (like everyone said, some people like it, some people don't so there's no sense forcing yourself if it's not for you). Try it out in the shower.

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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anal Sex Problem, please Advise

    I am not into anal at all and never will be.I can't stand it when guys try talking you into it.It's just as bad as when customers try talking you into "extras"."No" means no and that's the end of story.
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    Veteran Member SthnrnGrl77's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anal Sex Problem, please Advise

    i just decided it won't work for me. it just won't fit.

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    Featured Member Paintbaby's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anal Sex Problem, please Advise

    Quote Originally Posted by onlythebest
    I am not into anal at all and never will be.I can't stand it when guys try talking you into it.It's just as bad as when customers try talking you into "extras"."No" means no and that's the end of story.
    I heard THAT! Once a guy starts pressuring me to give up the ass, it's time for me to leave. It doesn't make me feel sexy, it hurts no matter what I do, and there is a much sexier place to put it---always up for good ol' vag sex, or even a tit-fuck. Why can't that be enough? I'm always happy to comply when they want anal, though. If it's not my butt, I'm game!

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    Veteran Member Feiticeira's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anal Sex Problem, please Advise

    This thread made me laugh out loud so hard!

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    Default Re: Anal Sex Problem, please Advise

    Reverse cowgirl anal is the most superior position for intercourse.

    It should be the default sexual position
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  22. #22
    Featured Member venusofwillendorf's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anal Sex Problem, please Advise

    fancygirl has a seriously good point. this man is not listening to you, even though he is hurting you. he is being manipulative and controlling. is he really the right guy for you? even if you are both 100% disease free, anal sex is a risky activity because the rectum, believe it or not, is so delicate. you need to be able to trust him, and he needs to understand the word "NO".
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  23. #23
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anal Sex Problem, please Advise

    Quote Originally Posted by PaigeDWinter
    Give it to Him in the ass. You wont feel a thing. I swear. Ask Mast, he says he doesnt feel anything.


    He likes it when I use Anal Eze. El numbo!
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    Featured Member lunchbox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anal Sex Problem, please Advise

    If it was just a size thing, I'd say go back to the beginners position for anal, however that puts im in near total control. If he won't let you guide him, or he's not able to figure out what goes where when, you need to switch to bsdm for a while and make him your slave who follows your instuctions.

  25. #25
    smartcookie
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    Default Re: Anal Sex Problem, please Advise

    Anal is all about the receiving partner controlling the action. If he can't understand that, no more anal for him. I also think you should fuck him in the ass with a strap-on so he can see for himself just how easy it is.

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