i met this guy while overseas..we had a really good time. and i know u heard it all b4, but i thought he was so special. i never met anyone like him b4. Anyway, he is in the navy (i know, i know) and i was having visa problems so we both parted ways only because we had too. This was 6 months ago. ever since then, w have kept in contact religiously..writing almost everyday and the odd call from time to time. I even made this little book with hand drawn pictures and a story i wrote about us. (he is a artist/writer) ..it was special..
OK..so i found out he has a gf from b4 we even met. they broke up and thats when he started seeing me. at first i was angry but because i liked him so much we got over it and ocntinued to write..he had a way with words and convinced me enough to let me know we had something special and that when he is transferred anything can happen..we were both just living it day to day. He was supposed to come here to visit soon..
Eventually, it started to irk me..whenever he would be back off the ship, i knew h was with her (of course, its his gf) and id get an attitude in my emails, 1 minute it was OK..next id act crazy..i couldnt help it, because am i crazy but if hes coming here and i know we will have sex and whatever else and then go back to her, its gonna kill me inside. So after reading the book "he's just not that into u" twice, it gave me the dtermination to realise this is bullshit and what am i doing??
SO i wrote to him, i said im tired of this being 1 sided..as it seemed to be me the 1 initiating everything, calling, doing the sweet stuff..i said we should just lave it alone, coz i couldnt take it..and i felt foolish.
Well, somehow he turned it ALL AROUND ON ME! suddenly, its him writing back saying, that im a drama queen, im stupid, im unstable and he never knows what im gonna say next...that to leave it alone. i called him fuming..i said not to bother saying this because i already said it. He turned it into "i dont give a fuck" "u just want the last word" "u did this" "what do u think?, im gonna chase after u"? acting as though i had done something wrong..i trid to explain i wouldnt be doing this if it wasnt for his gf, or the way i have feelings, or how he only shows interest by words an dnot actions..and somehow the asshole has made me feel like shit. i was actually thinking it was my fault and had an instinct to make things right and say i was sorry...but i didnt. im glad i didnt.
Im shaking..i cant stop crying..i even miss the jerk. whats wrong with me? i wanna forget him..why do guys act so sweet and then turn into total assholes? and it wasnt just this time, i think he's a natural bully..i just thought he was someone special..and now i feel lonely like ive ruined it..



i said not to bother saying this because i already said it. He turned it into "i dont give a fuck" "u just want the last word" "u did this" "what do u think?, im gonna chase after u"? acting as though i had done something wrong..i trid to explain i wouldnt be doing this if it wasnt for his gf, or the way i have feelings, or how he only shows interest by words an dnot actions..and somehow the asshole has made me feel like shit. i was actually thinking it was my fault and had an instinct to make things right and say i was sorry...but i didnt. im glad i didnt.
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I was so wrapped up in this guy that even after I "kicked" him out of my place, I still wanted to persue the relationship with him. He would still come around for a time, but after a while, I couldn't reach him at all. His stuff was now at my apartment, and I was so insanely angry that I threatened to dumpster everything unless he came and got it in 24 hours. He didn't show up, and I tossed his stuff. His father called me a couple of days later offering to come and pick up Steve's things, and I said that I had thrown it away, and the trash has already been picked up.

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